First a little background on me and the story. I am 19 and wrote this about 2 years ago. I am thinking about starting to write again and just wanted to see how this would be recieved. I plan to write Runescape literature, not sure if it would comedy etc as of yet.

 

I wrote this story after a good friend of mine found out his girlfriend was pregnant. We where 17 at the time. Tell me what you think.

 

 

 

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The car sat by the side of the road with us, the silent figures, inside. Neither of us talking. Both waiting for the first word. How could we ignore it? Two months pregnant, both of us too young, unsure on what to do next.

 

You broke the silence. Why? You told me to drive. That you had to have an abortion. That your parents will kill you. That itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s the only option.

 

What about me? What about the other options? Do I get no say? Tell our parents, keep the baby. I could get a job, I could support us. I looked at you, your green eyes as fierce as ever. I had known you for these past seven months, thought I knew your every move. Yet you surprised me that day. Rejected my ideas. It was your agenda that day, no one else had a say in it.

 

CouldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t you just imagine a baby? It would be smiling, at you, at me. How could you take a life away, before it even saw the light of day?

 

You told me to drive again. I ignored you, again. You had a choice to make. Me or the abortion. You got out of the car, leaving me stranded, alone. Your hair blew into your eyes. You didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t notice the car hurtling towards you. You didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t hear the screech of tyres. You didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t hear the abuse that was thrown at you. You carried on walking to the park, like a woman possessed.

 

You sat on the bench and lit a cigarette. A cigarette? You were pregnant for Gods sake! Who smokes while pregnant? You really did hate this baby. I joined you at your bench, sitting in silence once more. I asked you a simple, three letter question. Why? You told me many reasons. Your life would be ruined. Your parents would disown you. You would have to leave school. You have to find a new place to live.

 

I understood all you told me. I had been living in a dream world for the past fifteen hours. I thought nothing could go wrong. I thought we could live a normal life. You proved me wrong.

 

But still, an abortion? CouldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t you just have the baby and put it up for adoption? Yet again, I showed that I wasnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t thinking. You shouted at me that time. You told me it would spell the end of our lives. I knew it would spell the end of our lives.

 

I realized that I was losing you, not just the baby. We didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t live in a perfect world, we didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t live a perfect life. Why did this have to happen to us? Why did it have to tear us apart like this? I didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t care about the baby, I just wanted you back.

 

You started walking. Walking away from me. Walking away from the baby. I had really done it this time. No second chance, not even a glance from your direction. Why? Why did we have to end it like this? This baby had ruined us! This mistake, this thing. It just made me think, why us? I walked back to my car, admitting defeat. We were through, this was our last argument. I opened the car door and collapsed in my seat. Your jumper lay on the back seat, your smell slowly filling up my car. An excuse to check up on you later. See what the plan was. If you had made the life changing decision. See you.

 

 

 

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You were'nt lying when you said your stories were a little dark. I actually liked it because as you said it tackles a problem. A REAL problem, teen pregnancy, and gives you the REAL story of how it usually plays out.

 

 

 

I thought it was pretty good :thumbsup: ,

 

Hiitchhiiker

Thanks.

 

I am currently writing something that will appeal to the masses. A fantasy story based on runescape. It will be my first ever attempt at writing anything relating to fantasy so please don't be too harsh!

Good writing style, nice that it wasn't about Runescape, although after reading that I'd like to see just what you can do when it's based on fantasy.

 

I did think that there could have been a little more scene setting in this one, I for one always like to imagine the settings as much as I can, and a good description is always nice. :

 

 

 

Like I said to you before, loved the ending. :P

OMG wut dos dis hav 2 du abt rnskape!?!?!?!?!?!

 

 

 

Nah, just kidding, That was a great short story. It was very real. Real life, real problems, but, this doesn't appeal to everyone. Only a select few.

 

It is good writing, very unique style. Loved the ending :D.

 

 

 

Can't wait until you write the new one :D.

Thanks for the comments people!

 

 

 

I should hopefully have the first chapter of my new story out tonight if all goes according to plan. Expect a complete diffrent writing style as I try to be funny :P

It has meaning...almost too much meaning for the varrock library, but that doesn't stop the readers. I'm telling you, it's powerful. The skill that you write with is almost phenomenal, and it would be good to see a lighter story from you. It doesn't have to be comedy, just make it nicer than this one. I repeat: good story, now write more before I SET SOMETHING ON FIRE!!! :-w

It doesn't too much appeal to me, but this really is a change in your normal silly self Dangelo. 8-)

 

 

 

 

 

I'm looking foward to the story about Runescape, I'll try to write one to match you. Imagine that, a 14 year old beating a 19 year old at " Write off "

I try to act my age from time to time

Acting your age never helped anyone...If I acted my age I would be an idoit....Hmmm no one say anything....

 

Serouisly though its not about acting your age...it about having something to write about and having the experiance to make it seem real.

 

 

 

Its why I liked this story. It wasn't detectably fake. I mean it wasn't the facts and nothing but, there was creativity, but it followed something that was realistically true...

 

 

 

Ummm I can't really find a fault really...Except as Powerent said maybe a bit too much meaning...

Yay Archimage_a has finally mentioned me and agreed! :wink: Not like that's rare, he just said my name! :mrgreen: I guess I have semi-taken his position as all-powerful story critic when I arrived at the forums, so this is happiness. What? Nobody's cheering? :uhh: Umm...

Thanks for the nice comments people. I should stay away from fantasy for a bit i think :P

nice read... :D

Amazing my friend. It didnt really appeal to me but at the same time i was drawn to how beautifully this dark story was written! Please write another! :D

 

 

 

Gods Crime