The Blood Feaster

[Peele]

His blade swung through the air, whistling as it went. Warm blood spattered his face. The body of a tall elf slumped too the floor. He knelt down, feeling no remorse for the life he had just taken, but looking forward to the feast to come.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing of the elf remained.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Blood Feaster had come.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The young man ran. He was desperate to put as much space between him and the thing following him. He knew he shouldn't have ventured so far from home. His home was miles away. His one thought was to get back to his father, but as the creature came closer, that seemed a very slim possibility.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He had been going to collect meat for the pantry, as stocks were running low. There were plenty of cows around Lumbridge, but that was too far away and always crowded. So he decided to get some mutton. He ventured up to the monastery, were the monks of Saradomin preached. The sheep near there roamed wild so no farmer would be angry for him slaughtering their sheep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He killed a sheep and took all the meat he could, and with the wool, fashioned himslef a cape. To the north, the skies were black from smoke and magma from the crevices in the wilderness' barren landscape. Curiosity got the better of him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He drew his small steel dagger, given to him on his fiftheenth birthday, crafted by his father, and set off. He encountered no monsters or demons or any of the horrible creatures said to roam the wilderness. The strongest monster he came upon was an overgrown rat. He quickly overpowered it and slit its throat. He carried on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He had walked for hours, still encountering to life of any form except the trees, which, by grew thick together and lava spewed all around him from the tall volcanoes. That was when he saw it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was tall. Taller than any human he had seen before. He could only see it's hands, which were scabbed and bloodied. In them he wielded a crude sword, fashioned from a metal he never seen or heared of, but he could tell it was effective. Around the thing, was a thin, black cloak, with a hood that shadowed it's face. on the floor lay an unlucky adventurer. Or what was left of him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thats when he started to run. And so did the Blood Feaster.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End of part one.

[Peele]

Please comment to let me know if i should carry on :thumbsup:

 

 

 

Thanks!

[llamster]

it seems good.

 

 

 

Also, how could someone venture so deep into the wildy in such a short time? You need a lot more detail.

[Peele]

okii dokii i changed it thanks :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And please post on part 2, tell me what you think :)

[Peele]

The leaves crunched under his leather boots, and the wind whistled through his hair. The air scorched through his lungs and his legs felt like they were on fire. Finally, Varrock! But still, he would not stop. Barging through the throng of people, he took a right and passed a small water fountain. He then turned left again and ran down the street. He came to an inn, The Blue Moon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He stayed the night, not sleeping much, nightmares sliced at the inside of his mind. A dead man. A Scabbed hand. Blood on a sword. These images flashed through his mind, depriving him of sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dawn came, cold and bright, and he set off on the road to his home. His father would be angry with him, that was for sure, but it didn't matter, he would be home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He took a short cut, though the wild countryside. The butterflys fluttered by and the wind carresed the softly swaying trees. The events of the previous night seemed the melt away. Until...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the floor lay a dead monk. He had been decapitated, and drained of his blood. The stench over powered him and he gagged so he brought his shirt up to his nose and he inspected the monk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He had the basic brown robes, but his staff was different. He took it from the monk, and with its end, turned the body over. There was a satchel. He took it, desiding that it could be valuble. But he had to get away. The Thing might come back for the rest of this poor monk."May Saradomin bless you, brave soul" he murmered, and set off again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After a while, he rested and took a look inside the satchel. Inside was a few provisions, water, food and a first aid kit. But at the bottom were some runes. 10 to be precise. These runes were odd, and had markings he had never seen before at any rune shop in Varrok. They seemed, crisper, cleaner... purer. And oddly enough, damp. He placed the runes back in the satchel, but near the top, because he felt they were important.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next, he took a look at the staff. The wood, which was old and gnarled, had many engravings on it, in a language he couldn't understand. On top, was a glowing and shape shifting ball of light, it seemed somehow, like the runes, but perhaps melted down, if it were possible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time was getting on and so he packed up and carried on again. It was late in the afternoon when he arrived, and he could tell something was not right. The windows were dark, and the door looked as if it had been forced. He went inside. It was empty, but nothing was out of place. He went into the bedroom, calling his father as he went. And there, on the bed, was his fathers decapitated body, drained of his blood like the monk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the wall, were words scrawled in what must be his fathers blood.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

" YOUR TIME IS UP VANQUISHER "

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He screamed, and collapsed. Everything went dark.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End of part 2

[powerent]

Good so far, and I noticed a few mistakes, but not many. In the first paragraph, you spelled Varrock "Varrok." You also said "too" instead of "to" when he came to an inn. Also, the "poot" monk, I think you meant to say "poor." Besides that, it was great. Keep writing.

[Peele]

hehe, oops, ill change it now.

[dangelo]

Hate to be rude but read this

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://forum.tip.it/viewtopic.php?t=143413

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Will help you alot

[Peele]

What is that supposed to mean. I don't understand why you posted that. In future, can people just tell me what the problem is, if there is one, because i dont see the point of that link, as i havent realised the problem. :(

[powerent]

You're doing it right now! Capitalization of "I", punctuation, remembering to put apostrophes, these guys ' ' '. In other words, check grammar and punctuation carefully, cause I'm not going to be a human spell-check.

[Peele]

Alright, sorry, I shouldn't have asked anyone to check my own work. So I have gone through the two parts and tried to rewrite the gramatical mistakes, though im not very good at it :oops:

 

 

 

Again, sorry.

[smitherfolyf]

hey... its a good read :D

[Peele]

Guys, Im gona close this post and tidy up the story... Alot.

 

 

 

:thumbsup: Look out for "The Vanquisher Series" Coming to a forum near you!