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Die �����¢â�¬�¾rzte - "best band in the world"

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Die ÃÆÃââââ¬Ã¾rzte (translated: the doctors) are one of the most famous german rock bands and one of my favourite bands since my early teens. They are smart, good looking and most of all funny. Although their music is awsome, it's their lyrics that truely shine. They pack incredible witty messages into simple rhymes never taking themselves too serious. Some of their songs critcize society, whereas others are just provokative and others plainly stupid.

 

 

 

They often get into trouble with censorship because of songs like "Geschwisterliebe" (trans. Sibling love) that is about well.. a 16 year old who [bleep]s his 14 year old sister (and she likes it). Another famous song of theirs (or rather a song series) is about Claudia who loves her dog very much, later horses and in the end even whales. Their masquote is Gwendolyne from their song of the same name:

 

 

 

gwendolyneyr8.png

 

 

 

 

 

Claudia and Gwendolyne both are from the period between 1985 and 1992. In 1992 their new album "Bestie in Menschengestalt" (trans. Manshaped beast) with the hit "Schrei nach liebe"(trans. Scream for love) (some lyrics: your violent behavior is just a silent scream for love, you never learned to articulate yourself and your parents didn't have time for you, [wagon].) featured their new bassist. Since then the band consists out of Bela (drums), Farin (guitar; Farin Urlaub, his full name is a word play. "Fahr in Urlaub" means translated: Go on holidays!) and Rod (bass). All of them sing. Also it's since then that their songs became much more clever and thought provoking.

 

 

 

It's a pity that they limited themselves to german speaking countries. Although you might not understand the lyrics, i picked some videos that are appealing to the eye and will try some translations:

 

 

 

(Actually it's pretty hard to pick songs, because die ÃÆÃâÃâärzte have written hundreds of them well somewhere between 200 ad 300 i guess. So the choices are mostly based on the videos)

 

 

 

(trans. Unrockable)

 

 

 

I often cursed the day i met you

 

I've tried everything, i have beyond the starshining

 

sky of mexico played my favourite music to you

 

you didn't move - that angered me

 

 

 

You say, you don't find the beat

 

but Ricky Martin is cute

 

He is so disgusting as we both are different

 

 

 

Baby, i like you, it's true

 

but it'll never work out between us

 

One thing is clear: You are unrockable

 

 

 

You don't know what a shock it was:

 

My girlfriend is unrockable

 

 

 

How can you clamly sit hearing the beatseaks

 

when pop songs make you cry

 

Since you live at my place, Shakira is running in the house

 

i can't stand it anymore - i think i'll kick you out

 

 

 

You say you like it quite and peaceful

 

Don't be so uncomfortable

 

Your cuitepie thing won't work (on me)

 

pack your stuff, ciao - see you

 

 

 

Yes, you have pictured us on the wedding day

 

Baby, this will never happen

 

you are completely and utterly unrockable

 

 

 

Baby, don't see it that bad, start to (head)bang

 

then you'll finally get that the rock rules the world

 

 

 

 

 

(trans. peace tank; this video has subtitles. they are a bit hard to read though)

 

 

 

 

 

Die fette Elke (trans: fat Elke; Elke is a german female name)

 

 

 

It all began when she called me, i already fell

 

her voice sounded so tender and so cute in my ears

 

she sent me a photo, my heart nearly stopped

 

she looked like a piece of pizza, 100 times as pretty though

 

i wrote her a love letter, it even smelled of roses

 

and 12 seconds later we where a pair

 

 

 

Elke, the fat Elke

 

 

 

we met, alone at her place

 

she looked even fatter then she did on the photo

 

i layed my arms around her, well i tried

 

i fell into her fat tissue, like into a chasm

 

she's really huge, 3 meters in cubic

 

nevermind this line..

 

 

 

Elke

 

 

 

i had dinner with elke, really nice in candle light

 

i ate a bit of tofu, she ate a whole pig

 

Elke is so cute, i'm really falling for her

 

during summer she throws a shadow, in winter she keeps me warm

 

she has really heavy thighs, she is infinitely fat

 

recently i got on her, with out breathing mask

 

 

 

Elke

 

 

 

I called her my hippo, i was joking of course

 

still i broke her thick, fat heart and she died of that,

 

my sweet little darling

 

i couldn't bury her, because there wasn't enough space on the graveyard

 

 

 

Elke

 

 

 

 

 

Quark (trans. hm.. [cabbage]? fubar? "Du redest quark" ~ "You talk nonsense")

 

 

 

Die ÃÆÃââââ¬Ã¾rzte modified the original lyrics for a more political message:

 

 

 

Since i know you, i have a problem

 

You get extremyl on my nervs

 

You say you life for the people, around the clock

 

Your cheeks aren't even turning red, how do you do that?

 

 

 

Give me a chance. Shut up for once.

 

Slowly i'm getting angry and not without reason

 

I'd like to vote you out of office,

 

but then another one will come, who is just the same as you

 

 

 

You are talking Quark, the whole day long

 

 

 

Nobody believes your lies anymore

 

You have told the whole nonsense 10000 times already

 

You talk without a break, you talk loud and fast

 

You don't even think about what you say, it's sensational

 

 

 

You shake a couple hands and then you strike a child

 

next you smile into the camera

 

i wanted to liquidate you, but you are too well protected

 

someday i'll come for you, in the middle of the night

 

 

 

You are talking quark, in the congress

 

you are talking quark the whole day

 

 

 

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

 

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, ...

 

 

 

You are talking quark

 

 

 

you are talking [cabbage]

 

you are talking garbage

 

you are talking nonsense

 

you are talking quark

 

and you are talking,

 

you are talking

 

quark

 

 

 

Let's leave it here for now. Enjoy!

 

 

 

EDIT: Here are the original lyrics of "Quark":

 

 

 

Since i know you i have a problem

 

You get extremly on my nerves, baby

 

You are talking without (full stop and comma) a break

 

around the clock

 

You won't even (stop) to take a breath

 

How are you doing that

 

 

 

Give me a break, at least go out of the room

 

this constant blathering, nobody can bear this

 

a waterfall is harmless compard to you

 

i can't even close my ears, it's terrible

 

 

 

you are talking quark, the whole day long

 

 

 

nobody pays us a visit anymore, you have tortured them too much

 

you have already told me your life story 10000 times

 

you are talking without break, you are talking loud and fast

 

that your vocal chords aren't breaking - it's a sensation

 

 

 

Give me a break, shut up for once

 

slowly i'm getting deaf, my ears are already sour

 

i wanted to excorcise you, but i didn't get a chance to speak

 

what are my options now - harakiri or murder?

 

 

 

You are talking quark

 

 

 

Since i'm already in the mood, here are some translations of older songs:

 

 

 

Sweet, sweet Gwendolyne

 

 

 

In a little hut, there lives sweet Gwendolyne

 

i knocked on the door and she let me come in

 

she had a cable, with it she tied me in

 

Sweet, sweet Gwendolyne - oh, oh, oh sweet, sweet Gwendolyne

 

 

 

I sat alone in the dark, i didn't know why

 

the shackles hurt, still i stayed silent

 

i was gagged, i couldn't even scream

 

Sweet, sweet Gwendolyne

 

 

 

Finally she unties me, now she gets tied in herself

 

i shackle and gag her, so she doesn't move

 

you could send her as a post packet perfectly now

 

you could also ideally in this position ...

 

 

 

(female singer) Oh darling you drive me crazy

 

You treat me so good

 

as long as you have me tied, i'll stay with you

 

 

 

Tomorrow i'll let you free - maybe

 

sweet, sweet gwendolyne

 

 

 

 

 

Claudia (part 1)

 

 

 

Claudia has a shepard dog

 

and not without reason

 

 

 

Claudia looks terrific

 

Everybody has a crush for her

 

Isn't it very mean

 

that nobody can have her?

 

 

 

Because Claudia has a shepard dog

 

and not without reason

 

in the evening he jumps into her bed

 

and then there's some action

 

 

 

Claudia doesn't like guys

 

neither is she a lesbian

 

she prefers to do it

 

with her doggy beyond the dinner table

 

 

 

Claudia has a shepard dog...

 

 

 

 

 

(1985; too late)

 

 

 

Why have you done this to me?

 

I have heard it from a friend

 

You have a new boyfriend

 

for two weeks i only cried

 

Now you look away, don't great me anymore

 

and i still love you so much

 

 

 

I know what you like about him:

 

i'm poor and he got money

 

You just love him, because he has a car

 

and not like me a shaky lady's bike

 

 

 

One day i'll take revenge

 

and will break the hearts of all girls

 

then i'll be a star and i'll be in the newspaper

 

you'll be sorry, but then it's too late

 

 

 

You went into the teater with him

 

i just read comic books to you

 

You had dinner with him, of course in the Ritz

 

with me you just had curry sausage with french fries

 

 

 

The thought sends me into the grave

 

he got, what i can't have

 

i hate him, like i loved you before

 

i wanted to beat him up, your superman

 

i didn't know he could do karate

 

 

 

One day i'll take revenge

 

I'll break the hearts of all girls

 

i'll be a star and you'll be following me around

 

but then it's too late and i won't know you anymore

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some more recent songs:

 

 

 

Meine Ex(plodierte Freundin) (My Ex(ploded girlfriend))

 

 

 

Yesterday night my girlfriend exploded

 

it wasn't expecting it, that's why i got blood all over my face

 

who would suspect her reacting this way

 

esterday night my girfriend exploded

 

 

 

daily you read in the newspaper about spontanous explosions

 

switching page one thinks: fate will hopefully spare me

 

i ask you, how could this happen?

 

my baby, was my one and only and etre nous: she was pretty

 

she had a sweet body, like the one from the Krupps

 

- what was his name - D̮̦̉̉rper

 

 

 

I immediately called the police and said: come over here, man!

 

my girfriend is pass̮̩̉̉ like saluting gun fire

 

she flew across my ears, no wonder that i'm sad

 

i didn't just lose a woman, no also the bed sheats are gone

 

i was about to kiss her, then there was a bang

 

she was lying next to me, now she's everywhere across the room

 

yesterday night my girfriend exploded,

 

luckily i was wearing an integral helmet, thats why nothing happend to me

 

who would have anticipated her reacting this way

 

yesterday night my girlfriend exploded

 

 

 

when my first great loveignited spontaneously

 

i was laughing out loud

 

the next one got abducted by aliens

 

i didn't think any more about it

 

girlfriend numer three, was gone very soon

 

she petrified, i thought that was normal

 

but when the fourth one exploded, it ocurred to me

 

being my partner isn't exactly harmless

 

 

 

(Men are pigs)

 

 

 

Hello my darling, i love you

 

You are the only one to me

 

all the others are stupid

 

that's why i court you

 

You are so different, so special

 

i immediately notice such things

 

Now take off your clothes and lay down

 

because i'm so in love with you

 

 

 

It's getting dark, soon it turns night

 

there's a word of warning appropriate:

 

 

 

Men are pigs

 

don't trust them my child

 

all of them want one thing

 

because men are that way

 

 

 

A man just feels as a man,

 

when he can do you

 

He lies trough his teeth

 

just to get you into bed

 

And on the next morning

 

he doesn't even know your name anymore

 

reckless and uninhibited

 

feelings are completely alien to him

 

Love equals samenloss to him

 

Girl be always aware of that!

 

 

 

Men are pigs

 

don't expect sunshine

 

unfortunately there are no exceptions

 

in every men there is always a pig

 

Men are pigs

 

don't believe a word they say

 

they swear to be faithful forever

 

and are gone in the next morning

 

 

 

and if you make the mistake

 

and get yourself a husband

 

your gentlemen will mutate

 

into an animal after the wedding

 

Then he shows his true self

 

unshaved and disgusting

 

drinks bear, watches TV and gets fat really fast

 

burps and farts in marriage bed

 

 

 

men are pigs

 

don't trust them, my child

 

they all want one thing

 

they are blind to true love

 

 

 

Men are rats

 

face them only with cunning

 

they want to mate everything

 

that isn't on the trees on the count of three

 

 

 

(My baby was at the hairdresser)

 

 

 

My baby was at a hairdresser

 

now i can't stand her anymore

 

my baby got a haircut

 

now i don't like her anymore

 

She used to be beautiful

 

now i don't want to see her anymore

 

Life is tough, life is tough, my baby was at a hairdresser

 

 

 

My baby was at the hairdresser

 

now she doesn't look like anything anymore

 

I hardly reckognized her

 

when she stood before me

 

She paid the hairdresser a lot of money

 

to make him disfigure her

 

It's not fair, it's not fair

 

my baby was at the hairdresser

 

 

 

My baby was at the hairdresser

 

now she's ugly, really ugly

 

I'll have to break up with her

 

i wouldn't want to kiss her (even) in the dark

 

If somebody still finds her attractive

 

he can have her

 

Quel Malheur! Quel Malheur!

 

My baby was at the hairdresser

 

 

 

My baby was at the hairdresser

 

now she's got a pound less

 

she was at a hairstylist

 

i'll never fist her again

 

She was a feast for the eyes

 

now she makes me vomit

 

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

 

my baby was at the hairdresser

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recently Farin Urlaub recorded a solo album:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The music of these two pretty much speaks for itself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even though nobody even reads this thread, i just enjoy expanding it.

 

 

 

They used to play the song Super 3 at the beginning of their concerts.

 

 

 

Finally it's time again

 

and we are brilliant again

 

like always smarter then the rest, don't be envious

 

we are the best band in the world - in all modesty

 

did you miss us?

 

do you get now that life is more beutiful with us?

 

are you happy again? good for you

 

we say hello, we are back - we are here

 

 

 

we stalk around schools, sell crack to little children

 

we sing lewd songs and stay out long at nights

 

we never heard about table manners and seldom use forks

 

the record label sends a fat check to us every year

 

did you miss us?

 

did you secretly cry and mark the days in the calendar?

 

yes we are back and it smells like urine

 

we are die ÃÆÃââââ¬Ã¾rzte from Berlin - from Berlin

 

 

 

like a hailstorm on a summer day

 

like a sudden discordance in the most beautiful melody

 

some people think it's [cabbage], others think it's cool

 

like every year - we are back again

 

 

 

remember: there's only one god - belafarinrod

 

 

 

I guess you couldn't write such cool lyrics if you'd take yourself too serious.

 

 

 

 

 

Here's a completely ridiculous

on the german MTV:

 

 

 

The moderator asks Farin a question, you don't understand a word she says though, because she's gagged. Farin answers: "Sure. Good question by the way."

 

 

 

Then Farin announces a call: "She's 25, from Berlin, beautiful and incredible smart. Hello Jenny!" "Hello". "Is everything correct?" "Blah, blah" "Do you have a question to, or do you want me to dance for you?" "Dancing would be nice, but i wanted to ask you, how it is for you to listen to your own music." Farin: "Okay, i'll dance the question and then the answer." Farin dances. "Do you have another question, because we have to kill time until the commercial break." Then she tells him she's going to be at all three of their coming concerts." He asks her where they are and when. She tells him. Just before the commercial break Farin says: "Ah commercial break. Buy lots of stuff!"

 

 

 

 

 

Their most recent video was released a week ago: Junge (Boy)

 

 

 

or here is the censored version for little children or people who are scared by zombies =P

 

 

 

Boy, why didn't you learn anything?

 

Look at Dieter, he even has a car.

 

Why don't you go to uncle Werner in his (workshop, garrage?)

 

He'll give you a permanent job, if you ask him.

 

Boy..

 

 

 

How do you look again - holes in your pants and always this noise

 

(What will the neighbors say?)

 

and your hair - i don't know what to say, did you have to dye it?

 

(What will the neighbors say?)

 

How are you comming home, we don't know what to do about you anymore

 

 

 

Boy, don't break your mothers heart

 

It's not yet too late to inscribe to university

 

You were so interested in animals, wouldn't that be something, your own practice?

 

Boy..

 

 

 

How do you look again - holes in your nose and always this noise

 

(What will the neighbors say?)

 

electric guitars and always these lyrics

 

Who would want to hear that?

 

(What will the neighbors say?)

 

How do you come home, so much bad influence, we will disinherit you

 

(What will the taxman say?)

 

Where is this supposed to go, we are just worried

 

 

 

(and you were such a sweet child) 4x

 

 

 

and always your friends, you all are doing drugs, aren't you?

 

and always this noise

 

(What will the neighbors say?)

 

Think on your future, think on your parents

 

you are killing us

Ill check this out and edit my post later :)

  • Author

Have you watched the videos? They are well worth seeing.

  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author

I got to bring this up once more. They are a really awsome band. I think watching the videos even the english speaking audience here would find some meaning in their songs. Also i put some effort into the translations (wich was fun), so i'd like to see if this actually means something to anybody.

I got a day off on saturday, I'll listen to them then. I never heard of them before, so I'm curious what it will sound like.

21o4pav.jpg

Signature by Maurice Sendak

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool, that's amore!

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