I like my men like I like my phones; with lots of buttons, kinda hard to figure out, can multi-task, are easy to turn on.. batteries don't fall out when I drop them, heavy, and heat up nicely.

 

pringles

I like my men like I like my pringles- a genius, addicting invention, but too much of it would hurt my inside.

 

Things that go boom.

I like my men like I like things that go boom, exciting!

 

cats that steal cookies!

I like my women like I like my kitties who steal cookies, evil and cuddly.

 

T-Rex's.

I like my men like I like my T-Rex's, big.

 

twilight books.

I like my women like I like my Twilight books, popular for no reason and easy to burn.

 

Jell-O.

I like my men like I like my jello.. watery.

 

stale bread.

I like my women like I like my stale bread, old and covered in bugs.

 

Asteroid Fields.

I like my men like I like Asteroid Fields, they're kind of "in your face".

 

Hair.

I like my women like I like my hair, buzzed.

 

Cheerios.

I like my women like I like my cheerios, it doesn't scream when I stab it with my fork as a preclude to eating it.

 

coughing.

I like my women like I like coughing, a side effect of inhaling questionable smoke.

 

Hippos.

I like my men like I like my hippos, cuddly.

 

kitty puke.

I like my women like I like my kitty puke, icky and occasionally covered in hair and mystery goo.

 

Hamburgers.

I like my men like I like my hamburgers, with nice thick meat. juicy delicious meat that melts in your mouth when you bite it, and has lots of juice and has lettuce and tomatoes and mayo and ketchup.

 

roasted corn.

I like my women like I like my roasted corn, fresh out of the roaster.

 

Text books.

I like my men like I like my text books.. thick.

 

TV

I like my women like I like my TV, a source of mindless entertainment

 

Popcorn

I like my women like I like my popcorn, buttery and bad for you.

 

Mice.

I like my men like I like my mice, squeaking in fear when they meet kitty.

 

bulbs.

I like my women like I like my bulbs, sometimes giving off light, other times growing into flowers.

 

Gangs.

I like my men like I like my gangs.. many and violent.

 

gay porn.

I like my men like I like gay porn- incredibly one sided (O.O!)

 

Politically correct statements.

I like my women like I like politically correct statements, stupid, but necessary.

Fruit Loops.

I like my women like I like my fruit lops, with plenty of milk.

 

Macaroni and cheese