Thank you all contributors, Mod, please lock.

[Giant_Torti]

I've decided to come to you guys and gals with a bit of a dilemma and hoping that maybe you could impart some of your wisdom for me.

 

 

 

First of all I'd like you all to know a relevant bit of info about me and why I'm posting this here, my childhood years were a catalogue of physical and mental bullying, however that was years ago, back then it was 'tough up kiddo' and 'hit them back, harder' none of this intervention stuff.

 

 

 

So I don't back down to bullies easily etc.

 

 

 

With that in mind heres the dilemma, a mate of mine has a website that he develops as part of his CV and mostly for fun, you can blog stuff on there, debate topics on the forums and watch videos that get posted up. Its all his own work and code. At the moment he's made me a global moderator on the site to basically keep an eye on content, etc.

 

 

 

Another friend of mine rather foolishly decided to post some personal information of mine in a debate, so I decided to delete the post and lock the thread.

 

 

 

As a result, I've been labelled as a power abuser and now theres a small group of people flame-baiting on contentious issues, involving matters they know are close to my not so spectacular past.

 

 

 

If I complain, I'll be seen as a 'cry-baby' who cant handle there end of the log.

 

 

 

If I participate in the 'debate' I'll be entertaining there ego's when they come back with obvious cheap shots.

 

 

 

If I tell my friend that I'm quitting the site, he'll be losing a moderator and no doubt the flame-baiters will be 'up in arms' because they've "pwnd" someone with mod status.

 

 

 

Advice please?

[Kiriyama]

You did the right thing man, don't quit just because of a few a-holes, instead warn em to stop flaming you or you'll take it further.

 

 

 

Remember if your personal info is posted without your permission, you have every right to take what steps are required.

[Shyla]

It's your right to keep personal information private. Some kids don't understand this. Just ignore them, you did the right thing.

[BlueLancer]

In debates it's pretty easy to fend off flamebaiters and people who post irrelevant stuff. They pretty generally fall into the troller subcategory of posters, just ignoring them can also shut them up since everyone stops caring about their comments.

 

 

 

Also, if they continue spamming and flaming, you can nominate them for bans or edit their posts. The forum rules should allow that against troublemakers.

 

 

 

Another friend of mine rather foolishly decided to post some personal information of mine in a debate, so I decided to delete the post and lock the thread.

 

 

 

That's not very wise on a public forum, I don't mean to side with the flamers but that's quite the wrong action. It is power abusing. You should rather edit the personal details or ask your friend to remove them in a case like that, instead of locking and deleting the entire debate.

[baron8000]

Such is Modship unfortunately - whatever the forum, big or small it will always attract idiots, flamers and the odd troll.

 

 

 

Just adhere to the written rules of the forum (if there aren't any, get someone to write some!) and then when anyone breaks them, slap them in the face with the terms and conditions that THEY signed up for and agreed to.

 

 

 

Just watch you don't become arbitrary - check with the other mods/admins about your conduct and make sure you are all working together with similar standards and aims, then you should have no issue.

[Lionheart_0]

I suggest to threaten them with temp bans, and if that doesn't work, get an admin to pull out the b& hammer.

[Giant_Torti]

Thanks to everyone thats replied and provided me with there insight on how to deal with this.

 

 

 

I'll use the hide feature so this is easier on the eyes.

 

 

 

[hide=Reply to baron8000]

Such is Modship unfortunately - whatever the forum, big or small it will always attract idiots, flamers and the odd troll.

 

 

 

Just adhere to the written rules of the forum (if there aren't any, get someone to write some!) and then when anyone breaks them, slap them in the face with the terms and conditions that THEY signed up for and agreed to.

 

 

 

Just watch you don't become arbitrary - check with the other mods/admins about your conduct and make sure you are all working together with similar standards and aims, then you should have no issue.

 

 

 

I'll ask the site owner to put up some rules, although this could be tricky, he's a very liberal guy and not very controlling, as such.

 

 

 

I think, at the moment, I am the only moderator, but everything I've done so far, has been run past the site owner, with approval.

 

[/hide]

 

 

 

[hide=Reply to BlueLancer]

In debates it's pretty easy to fend off flamebaiters and people who post irrelevant stuff. They pretty generally fall into the troller subcategory of posters, just ignoring them can also shut them up since everyone stops caring about their comments.

 

 

 

Also, if they continue spamming and flaming, you can nominate them for bans or edit their posts. The forum rules should allow that against troublemakers.

 

 

 

Another friend of mine rather foolishly decided to post some personal information of mine in a debate, so I decided to delete the post and lock the thread.

 

 

 

That's not very wise on a public forum, I don't mean to side with the flamers but that's quite the wrong action. It is power abusing. You should rather edit the personal details or ask your friend to remove them in a case like that, instead of locking and deleting the entire debate.

 

 

 

Well the reason I locked the thread is that basically there are absolutely no rules at all, I'm guessing that the site owner is hoping that we all 'play nicely' yeah I know, vain hope, but you have to admire the spirit.[/hide]

 

 

 

 

 

[hide=Reply to Twiley]

It's your right to keep personal information private. Some kids don't understand this. Just ignore them, you did the right thing.

 

 

 

Thanks, whats worrying, is that it was an adult that done the posting.[/hide]

 

 

 

[hide=Reply to Sworddude198]

You did the right thing man, don't quit just because of a few a-holes, instead warn em to stop flaming you or you'll take it further.

 

 

 

Remember if your personal info is posted without your permission, you have every right to take what steps are required.

 

 

 

You must have read my mind, I've put up a warning that I'll not tolerate blatant flamebaiting or hit and run posting. Its not achieved anything as yet, because there still at it. Oh well.[/hide]

 

 

 

Loving the 'flame warrior' site. If anyone else has any alternative ideas, I'd be pleased to read them.

[Lionheart_0]

:shock: No rules? How big are these forums? If its getting fairly large, you are just inviting it to become the next 4chan! I suggest rules, quickly.

[Kiriyama]

I agree with Lionheart here.

 

 

 

Everything needs rules. They are in place to keep the order. However don't be too hard on rules. One cannot exsist without the other.

 

 

 

Basic Rules you'll need:

 

 

 

No excessive swearing (if people follow you can have a small censor)

 

No giving out rl info without the persons permission (its a good rule to have)

 

No unneeded flaming (need I elaborate?)

 

No Adult Material (for forums, the general age is 13+, you want to keep it that way)

 

 

 

Those 4 rules allow you to have a quite liberl forum with a few restrictions to stop it falling into chaos

[IGoddessI]

I wouldn't have locked the thread personally.

 

 

 

However, I would have told him I didn't appreciate the personal information used against you, especially seeing as you thought he was a person who was capable of leaving it as water under the bridge.

 

 

 

I would remind him that he can trust me enough not to dish out the dirt on him so I would like it if he could be equally as respectable. I would tell him that it isn't a personal attack and push the argument back to its original purpose.

 

 

 

Say the argument was on oranges....

 

 

 

He says "Ha-ha you wouldn't know what you're talking about because you're fat and nobody likes you, go home and cry to your parents, oh that's right they don't care".

 

 

 

You say "I'm sorry if I've offended you but I don't really see what my personal life has to do with oranges. You've been a good friend to me and I'm sure we're both just very angry at the moment. However, the point I'm trying to make is that oranges...." and so forth.

 

 

 

(Taking away the defensiveness, you show him his hurtful comments have no effect on you, you find common ties, be positive and bring the topic back to its original point.)

 

 

 

I would have edited that part and encouraged the debate to continue at a non personal level and if it couldn't happen, we would have to agree to disagree.

 

 

 

If anything further happened, I would have asked the site creator to deal with it.

 

 

 

That way, I've never taken away his freedom of speech, I've let him know what my boundaries are without restricting his, we're both on equal levels and if things did turn ugly, the end result wouldn't be lingering over my head.

 

 

 

In short - You have all the right in the world not to have your personal details shown but you do not have the right to simply cut off his freedom of speech.

 

 

 

If anything you've caused him to get other people to team with him against you, tell a lot more people about you for revenge and in the end with your background, you're going to eventually say enough is enough and totally abuse your powers or leave, which means he wins.

 

 

 

Obviously you're unsure if you've done the right thing or not or you wouldn't be here which is a good thing, it means you have a conscience :P

 

 

 

In all truth you've both been angry and you both did the wrong thing. He personally attacked you and you retaliated by removing his freedom of speech. An eye for an eye would make the whole world go blind and I'm sure you're both mature enough to ease the tension between you.

 

 

 

Take a deep breath, go for a walk, then come back and see what you guys can do without making things worse than they already are. If your friendship was strong to begin with, I believe you can fix anything.

[Giant_Torti]

A bit of a quote and reply fest here.

 

 

 

[hide=Goddess wrote and Torti replied]

I wouldn't have locked the thread personally.

 

 

 

Fair enough, but when the discussion was based around events that could have easily lead to a serious legal situation (the conversation was about criminality and criminal activity) I felt that after explaining logic of my decision it would be the best way to 'damage control' the situation, mitigation is always better than litigation.

 

 

 

 

However, I would have told him I didn't appreciate the personal information used against you, especially seeing as you thought he was a person who was capable of leaving it as water under the bridge.

 

 

 

I would remind him that he can trust me enough not to dish out the dirt on him so I would like it if he could be equally as respectable. I would tell him that it isn't a personal attack and push the argument back to its original purpose.

 

 

 

Well I did ask the person to either change there post but they refused, as I said before I run my proposed actions past the site owner, with prior approval.

 

 

 

 

I would have edited that part and encouraged the debate to continue at a non personal level and if it couldn't happen, we would have to agree to disagree.

 

 

 

That would have left an empty post, but your point is well made.

 

 

 

 

 

Obviously you're unsure if you've done the right thing or not or you wouldn't be here which is a good thing, it means you have a conscience

 

 

 

Thanks, I'll take that as a nice compliment.

 

 

 

 

In short - You have all the right in the world not to have your personal details shown but you do not have the right to simply cut off his freedom of speech.

 

 

 

 

100% Agree, they've now started a similar thread, without all the personal details etc, I've asked the person in question, privately to refrain from using my personal information on a public website. At the moment I've had no reply, but nothing personal has been published.

 

 

 

[/hide]

 

 

 

Thanks everyone for posting. :D

[Ginger_Warrior]

I guess I'm a bit late for this but, meh.

 

 

 

The advice given to me by some staff members when I joined the Crew was that if someone posts something personally offensive to you, and you are in a position of authority, have someone else deal with it. If you jump in defending yourself all guns blazing, it does have a tendancy to be seen as power abusing and their wrongful actions tend to be forgotten in the process.

 

 

 

Let this topic die, and exercise more caution if the situation crops again. When it comes to your mate, follow Goddess's advice. :)