Awful Pun Humor

[Lenticular_J]

Bears can kill you with their BEAR HANDS.

 

 

 

They also enjoy the Second Amendment. You know, the right to BEAR ARMS.

[Infi]

Yesterday I saw the worst punt in the history of football.

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

I'm horrible at this.

 

/hangs head in shame

[ClareJonsson]

I was in the air port the other day going "Buk Buk Buk Buk Buk" and the girl at the desk said "No miss, this is the check in desk".

 

 

 

Did you hear about the guy who sat up all night wondering where the sun had gone? The next day it suddenly dawned on him!

 

 

 

Q. What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?

 

A. A wonkey!

 

 

 

I walked into the bar the other day and fractured my skull, it was an iron bar!

 

 

 

I had a dream the other night, I was eating giant marsh mallows :) When I woke up my pillow had gone :(

 

 

 

Did you hear about the guy who couldn't tell the difference between porridge and putty? His windows fell out.

 

 

 

Q. What do you call a Russian with a bad cold?

 

A. Ivorbad Chestykoff

 

 

 

Q. How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

 

A. Fish.

 

 

 

Q. How do idiots practice safe sex?

 

A. Handle bars around the bed!

 

 

 

I asked my cat to make me me a cup of coffee yesterday, and she said "Meee, how?"

 

 

 

Q. What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun?

 

A. Sir.

 

 

 

Q. What do you call a Scouser in a suit?

 

A. The accused.

 

 

 

"Did I tell you about my brother, the one with the big feet?"

 

"No what happened to him?"

 

"He got a job in Canada, stamping out forest fires!"

 

 

 

Darth Vader was soo evil, he sprinkles itching powder on fleas, and he once forced Dolly Parton to play the accordion!

 

 

 

This next joke is rather rude, and the punchline isn't obvious.

 

Two guys talking in a bar:

 

Fred: "How come you always look so healthy and tanned?"

 

Jeff: "Well on the way home from work on weekends I stop off at my country club!"

 

Fred: "Really?"

 

Jeff: "Yeah, I'm a country member!"

 

Fred: "Okay I'll remember."

 

 

 

And here's the oldest terrible joke of all time:

 

"My dog has no nose."

 

"How does he smell?"

 

"Terrible!"

[TheChamp]

 

This next joke is rather rude, and the punchline isn't obvious.

 

Two guys talking in a bar:

 

Fred: "How come you always look so healthy and tanned?"

 

Jeff: "Well on the way home from work on weekends I stop off at my country club!"

 

Fred: "Really?"

 

Jeff: "Yeah, I'm a country member!"

 

Fred: "Okay I'll remember."

 

 

 

 

:lol:

[megakiller32]

Haha, now that's just brilliant. :

 

My Physics teacher, as well as my school captain are both pretty big fans of puns, and the captian is in the same class as me. After a while you build up a certain tolerance to the jokes.

 

 

 

Same here, my physics teacher loves puns.

 

But i have one-

 

Why did the Razorbill Raise her bill? So the Sea urchin could See her chin!

 

 

 

:thumbsup: Puns are awesome. \

[Chewylobster]

I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didnt study Latin harder in school so I could talk with those people.

[mmmcannibalism]

i like to have 3.14/6 as desert after a meal

 

 

 

otherwise known as a slice of pi

[LiChef]

I've just been on a week long holiday with my grandparents to Wales and they just kill me with puns, not in a good way, they are really bad.

 

 

 

For example we went to a place with lots of chickens and they were constantly making a noise. Then my nan said "There's lots of foul language out there" :roll:

 

 

 

Li Chef