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Awful Pun Humor


lordkafei

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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

 

 

 

:lol:

PvP is not for me

In the 3rd Year of the Boycott
Real-world money saved since FT/W: Hundreds of Dollars
Real-world time saved since FT/W: Thousands of Hours

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Puns are harder to say over the internet, seeing as you usually have to alter the way you say certain words, but anyway...

 

 

 

A good pun is it's own reword.

 

 

 

10 puns die one day, and St Peter patiently waits, and hopes that at least one will go to heaven. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

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You could do that for an audience and make some quick puney,eh?Or some rotten tomato juice,both's cool anyway.

devilgod.jpeg

so i herd u liek devarts?

If you look at me and feel offended by my 666-ism,think.I could be just as offended by your "cross".

[hide=This's why I'm hot]

The Eleventh Commandment:Thou Shalst only say "Amen,brother".

Amen, brother :lol:

Amen, brudda (referring to the 10th commandment)

amen Bruder! (german ftw)

I'm invulnerable to everything, except Lenin and Dragoonson.

That's impossible.

 

I love people.[/hide]

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Did you hear about the guy who's left leg was cut off? He's all right now :lol:

 

 

 

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

 

 

This one's for that lock-loving guy here on OT: They tried to keep a locksmith in prison, but the nut bolted. ::'

[hide=]

tip it would pay me $500.00 to keep my clothes ON :( :lol:
But then again, you fail to realize that 101% of the people in this universe hate you. Yes, humankind's hatred against you goes beyond mathematical possibilities.
That tears it. I'm starting an animal rebellion using my mind powers. Those PETA bastards will never see it coming until the porcupines are half way up their asses.
[/hide]

montageo.png

Apparently a lot of people say it. I own.

 

http://linkagg.com/ Not my site, but a simple, budding site that links often unheard-of websites that are amazing for usefulness and fun.

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A man wanted to enter a pun contest, so the man submitted ten puns, However, no pun in ten did. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

 

 

A rich man drove his expensive car into a tree, He saw how the Mercedes bends.

 

 

 

my two favourites.

 

 

 

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a muscle.

 

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

 

Alarms: What an octopus is.

 

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

 

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

 

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

 

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

 

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

 

What do you call a fish with no eyes?... A fsh.

 

Buccaneer: What a pirate pays for earrings.

 

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds

wildy58.png

Wildy58.png

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A man wanted to enter a pun contest, so the man submitted ten puns, However, no pun in ten did. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

did what?

whalenuke.png

Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

angel2w.gif

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I think Lenin means that the person with the no pun in ten did joke forgot to say he hoped they win, thus the joke never said what the puns failed to do.

[hide=]

tip it would pay me $500.00 to keep my clothes ON :( :lol:
But then again, you fail to realize that 101% of the people in this universe hate you. Yes, humankind's hatred against you goes beyond mathematical possibilities.
That tears it. I'm starting an animal rebellion using my mind powers. Those PETA bastards will never see it coming until the porcupines are half way up their asses.
[/hide]

montageo.png

Apparently a lot of people say it. I own.

 

http://linkagg.com/ Not my site, but a simple, budding site that links often unheard-of websites that are amazing for usefulness and fun.

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Ooh the whole global warming thing was cold... (no pun intended)

 

 

 

Sorry, I had to do it. But that article made me laugh my head off. Especially the Irishguy4life's self-conversation.

[hide=]

tip it would pay me $500.00 to keep my clothes ON :( :lol:
But then again, you fail to realize that 101% of the people in this universe hate you. Yes, humankind's hatred against you goes beyond mathematical possibilities.
That tears it. I'm starting an animal rebellion using my mind powers. Those PETA bastards will never see it coming until the porcupines are half way up their asses.
[/hide]

montageo.png

Apparently a lot of people say it. I own.

 

http://linkagg.com/ Not my site, but a simple, budding site that links often unheard-of websites that are amazing for usefulness and fun.

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Share on other sites

I don't get puns most of the time :|

 

Why not? Theyre punmistakeable.

 

See, like that.

 

 

 

 

 

:cry:

 

Personally, I found it very punny.

 

Damn it, I need to wake up earlier so I can do this.

catch it now so you can like it before it went so mainstream

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This is going to be one of my favorite threads EVER. I love puns :lol:

 

 

 

Here's one for Lenin: I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

[hide=]

tip it would pay me $500.00 to keep my clothes ON :( :lol:
But then again, you fail to realize that 101% of the people in this universe hate you. Yes, humankind's hatred against you goes beyond mathematical possibilities.
That tears it. I'm starting an animal rebellion using my mind powers. Those PETA bastards will never see it coming until the porcupines are half way up their asses.
[/hide]

montageo.png

Apparently a lot of people say it. I own.

 

http://linkagg.com/ Not my site, but a simple, budding site that links often unheard-of websites that are amazing for usefulness and fun.

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Share on other sites

Three children were talking about their religions.

 

"I'm a Catholic," said one, "And our symbol is the cross."

 

"I'm Jewish," said the second, "And our symbol is the Star of David."

 

The third child said, "I'm a Unitarian Universalist and our symbol is a candle in a cocktail glass!"

 

 

 

A Unitarian Universalist dies, and on the way to the afterlife encounters a fork in the road with two options: "to heaven" and "to a discussion of heaven." Without pausing, the UU heads right to the discussion of heaven.

 

 

 

I saw these jokes on a site somewhere. If you're not a UU, you most likely won't get them, but if you know anything about it, then you'd get the puns.

SWAG

 

Mayn U wanna be like me but U can't be me cuz U ain't got ma swagga on.

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