English is an INSANE language.

[Rilha]

The linguaphile strikes again! xD

 

 

 

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor

 

ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

 

 

 

So many of us take the English language for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? One house, two hice? After all, the plural of 'mouse' is 'mice', and the plural of 'louse' is 'lice'.

 

 

 

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

 

 

 

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

 

 

 

Sometimes I think all the Anglophones in the world should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. TELL ME: In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

 

 

 

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another.

 

 

 

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage (as compared to a horseless one) or a strapful gown (as opposed to a strapless)? Met a sung hero ("unsung") or experienced requited ("unrequited) love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

 

 

 

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

 

 

 

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). It may be a nightmare for some linguists (though not I), but thoroughly amusing for the rest of us who have opened our eyes to the sheer insanity inherent in our tongue.

 

 

 

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this thread, I end it.

[Make7upu101]

I think about this all the time in Spanish class. Spanish has so fewer words for certain things thatn english. One word can cover about 4 different things. This is also the reason (and I hope I don't just sound like a lazy american) that I think that if everyone in the world had to learn a language it should be English since even though it's hard it's so much more descriptive.

 

 

 

-by the way this is just the opinion of a guy who only knows about 1.5 languages

[____]

And the linguaphile is wrong once again. Yes English is complex, but when you make half an effort to understand the concepts as to why half the stuff mentioned above doesn't exist, it makes sense.

 

 

 

Definitions > Stupid anologies and work-around logic.

[Rilha]

I think about this all the time in Spanish class. Spanish has so fewer words for certain things thatn english. One word can cover about 4 different things. This is also the reason (and I hope I don't just sound like a lazy american) that I think that if everyone in the world had to learn a language it should be English since even though it's hard it's so much more descriptive.

 

 

 

-by the way this is just the opinion of a guy who only knows about 1.5 languages

 

I don't think that the universal language should be English, at least not until it's severely simplified. Dx

 

Once we switch to phonetic spelling and we make our verbs far less irregular, I'd consider it.

[Rilha]

And the linguaphile is wrong once again. Yes English is complex, but when you make half an effort to understand the concepts as to why half the stuff mentioned above doesn't exist, it makes sense.

 

 

 

Definitions > Stupid anologies and work-around logic.

 

Oh? And would you care to explain why the words 'cough', 'bough', 'through' and 'though' don't rhyme, using this so called 'logic'?

 

 

 

Mentionning 'facts' doesn't mean that you're actually using them.

[Godzira]

My guess is that Spanish is going to be the universal language before long.

[Vairaox]

And the linguaphile is wrong once again. Yes English is complex, but when you make half an effort to understand the concepts as to why half the stuff mentioned above doesn't exist, it makes sense.

 

 

 

Definitions > Stupid anologies and work-around logic.

[math_le_gogo]

i know 2.5 language and yes you are right lol people that invented those language are dumb :P i dont really understand how all those words were created

[Rilha]

i know 2.5 language and yes you are right lol people that invented those language are dumb :P i dont really understand how all those words were created

 

Actually, it wasn't invented out of the blue. It went through a LOT of evolution, starting off as a Germanic language in the Indo-European family, then adding a lot of vocabulary and ideas from Romance languages, particularly French. xD

 

 

 

Its mixed origins are the cause of its goofiness.

[Astralinre]

*applauds* Rihla, that was brilliant. I was cracking up when I read that - absolutely hilarious. Thanks for the good laugh. :P

 

 

 

And, of course, in regards to the evolution of English, you forgot to mention the Great Vowel Shift! :P

[Phil]

Please don't rip other people's text and pretend it's your own.

 

At least give them some credit.

 

 

 

http://www.bazza.com/sj/humour/EnglishI ... guage.html