Hell And Back..........THE AUTHOR'S GUILD!!!

[issy2]

Edited

[Babybyers]

Hmmm i wont judge till i hear more, it sounds good though, lets see some more!

 

 

 

~~Byers

[issy2]

Chapter Three

 

 

 

Jonathon pasted it to the wall of his bedroom, on the door that led to mine. Every time he opened the door he stopped to stare at it.

 

ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¹ÃâI love that picture,ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ he whispered to me, late one night several months later. Our friendship had developed and I loved him like a brother.

 

ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¹ÃâI love it too,ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ I murmured sleepily back. 'G'night...'

 

My voice trailed away and I felt the pressure leave the bed, as Jonathon rose and stumbled back to his own room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Four

 

 

 

 

 

When I look back, in my minds' eye, I wondered how I could have ever been such a cold-hearted, lonely child. With Jonathon I laughed easily and my stiff nature was oiled.

 

 

 

My brother and I had grown to be dashingly handsome young lads of eighteen. Jonathon, in particular, with his long, deep-coloured hair, was a picture of but my life was going too fast. Everything in was so different in this exciting new world of adolescence.

 

 

 

Jon's parents were still engaged in the war with the Dwarves. I had never known wars could last nine years. This thought scared and intimidated me.

 

 

 

I learnt alot from Jonathon, but two things in particular I loved.

 

My new 'brother' was a talented musician, and he had brought his own flute; a broad, mahogany pipe that sang a deep and mournful song.

 

 

 

With our arts, my painting and his music, we were a powerful pair.

 

 

 

One night as we rode our horses, a noble black stallion for Jon and a lively dun-coloured destrier for myself, we heard music welling exquisitely from a barnyard, freshly thatched and painted gayly.

 

 

 

'Jonathon,' I whispered, stopping Sebastian. 'Listen,'

 

And so we did. In the end we tied our horses up outside, and entered the room.

 

The building was of a staggering size compared to most in the town; male and female peasants ambled, chatting and laughing. At the other end was a stage, rising several yards into the air. Upon it was an orchestra of extreme rarity; playing groups were seldom found in those days. Their music was enchanting. It entered my heart and stole my soul from my mind. I was captured by beauty.

 

 

 

It was the clear the peasants loathed us; the two lads who've got everything, the sons of Lords and cousins of Kings, handsome, rich, priviliged in every way.

 

But we humbled ourselves. We took off our jackets and collected stew and ale from a woman who bustled around a hude fireplace several metres long. We sat against the hard walls (no seating was provided) and dreamed, sinking into golden pools of anguish, until the music grew to a clashing crescendo and stunned us. Staggering outside, we grasped Sergeant and Sebastian's necks, and tottered home. Whether it was the unexpected strength of the ale, exhaustion from a long day's hunting, or the musicians that sedated us, we will never know.

 

 

 

Barely a week later, we found ourselves at another concert. This time, we did not act like Lords, but slipped in and danced with them, joining them, as them.

 

 

 

'No ale, thanks,' I said to the girl who was serving this time round. 'I think it knocked me out last time!'

 

She laughed.

 

'I haven't seen you before,' she remarked. 'I thought I knew everyone. Are you Varrockian?'

 

'Umm-no,'

 

She raised her eyebrows. 'Well, I'm Katherine. Pleased to meet you,-?'

 

'Jonathon,'

 

'I love that name!' she exclaimed, and shook my hand.

 

 

 

I met many others, too. I became quite friendly with Katherine, and, too, with old Stewart, the mill-grinder, Artskof and Behilde, two visiting hunters and relations of Bryan and Lilliani.

 

Jonathon and I were welcomed into this odd new feeling of communal joy. The music, too, intrigued us, but came second to the friends we had swiftly made.

 

Indeed, only one thing was worrying me; my supposed identity with Katherine. I could not confess! The fear of feeling a fool was much mroe than that of Jonathon discovering I had used his name to introduce myself to an attractive young woman!

 

 

 

 

 

I have always been good at putting things at the back of my head and letting dust settle, and so I did so then.

[Babybyers]

Sounds goood. Lots of detail, no action yet, but it gives a great support for future happenings. I love it. Only thing is making sure not to mix (where - were) ect. And you miss (I , and) once or twice. Other than that i enjoyed it. Get some more up, I can't wait to read it.

 

 

 

~~Byers

[Nutty]

i thought that it was horrible. I didnt like it atall! not enought detail! All around it stinks. :boohoo:

[Babybyers]

i thought that it was horrible. I didnt like it atall! not enought detail! All around it stinks. :boohoo:

 

:-k

 

 

 

Trust me keep writing \

 

 

 

~~Byers

[issy2]

i thought that it was horrible. I didnt like it atall! not enought detail! All around it stinks.

 

 

 

Soo...I'll bet...

 

1. You didn't read all of it.

 

2. You don't know what constructive critisism is.

 

3. You're not welcome on this thread if you're going to talk like that. At least if you don't like it (THAT I could understand) you could humble yourself enough to give me a few suggestions?

 

Not enough...DETAIL? Ooook you'll definitely haven't read it.=D>

 

Aaaanyway...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Five

 

 

 

 

 

My return was greeted by the arrival of a dog-cart from Falador.

 

It was Sir Amik's messenger, fresh from Falador Castle. Father grudgingly invited him in and rang for the maid.

 

'News from Keldagrim, sir!' the man said breathlessly, kneeling at the Lord's feet.

 

'Rise. Come, sit with us,'

 

I left the room, but as I closed the door I heard words which stunned me to the core.

 

In between large sips of ale, the messenger informed us that Sir Amik would be returning shortly, and several of the servants would be coming round to collect him.

 

'But-but he's been here for nine bloody years! Ye can't just whisk the lud out anytime ye like!'

 

' With respect, he's not your son, my Lord.'

 

I had often suspected Father had grown very fond of Jon, and, as he rose and, in surpressed rage, paced the room, he snarled,

 

'When can we be expecting Sir Amik?'

 

'Two weeks. Three maybe.'

 

I could do nothing but stand and stare at the door. Maybe eavesdropping on my uncle's messenger had not been a good idea...

 

My throat was tight and I could not breathe. A piece had ripped fomr my heart and shattered.

 

Jonathon had been with us so long I could never imagine life in Varrock without him. I knew the time had to come, but now...with the ceilis, and the dances, and our treehouse recently complete! With our new horses Father has keenly paid for.

 

With Jon came my father's realisation, understanding, and, above all, love. I staggered out through the kitchens, and vomited in the drainpipe. I felt tears coming and did not try to stop them. Hot, salty drops were spreading on my tongue, my body shaking in sadness. It was as though someone told me Jon was dead. Well, he was going halfway across the world. Overcome by a fresh bout of tears, I retched into the gutter.

 

I knew that both psychically and mentally I was utterly overreacting, but there was nothing on the distant horizon other than bitter loneliness.

 

I let my eyes ooze tears for another few minutes, then stood up. Dusk was coming.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Six

 

 

 

Jonathon was having a short music lesson with our tutor (whose lessons were surprisingly enjoyable while I and my 'brother' took them together) while I went and spent my pocket money at an art shop, newly opened just off the West Avenue.

 

I did not ride, but ambled slowly out of the courtyard. I was starting to feel at ease with the villagers; they were friendly enough, and fantastic cooks!

 

 

 

Reaching the archery store, erect on one side of the square, I turned cautiously down an alley. I was not more than halfway through the dark, cramped passage when I heard a voice behind me.

 

'Jonathon!' it whispered.

 

'Mary?' I asked instinctively, then gasped.

 

'Katherine! Hi!'

 

'There's a ceil'i on tonight. I told Mary and Rebekka you'd be there.'

 

'Short notice,' I remarked. It hit me then how close we were standing...

 

More silence. In fact our conversation had many a long pause.

 

'The Falador Flutists,' she continued. I was hardly listening...that gorgeously soft and tender voice sent shivers down my spine. I took a deep breath.

 

'They'll be there. I thought your brother might like to come,'

 

I gave a short laugh. It's feeble sound echoed around the walls on either side. Silence.

 

'He's not my brother.' I said finally. 'And...Katherine...umm...I-'

 

I shook myself and rattled on.

 

'I'm not Jonathon. Sorry. I'm Irus.'

 

She was clearly shocked.

 

'Oh.'

 

'I hate my name!' I continued recklessly. 'It's so ...embarrassing.'

 

 

 

'No,' she said quietly. 'I like it.'

 

 

 

We stood, centimetres away. She was so, so close. Her eyes made me feel excited and vulnerable. They were a gentle grey, but they bored into me and made me wonder whether she could read my thoughts.

 

'I-I'd better be going,' I stammered eventually. She betrayed no emotion.

 

'Um- see you tonight!' I ended with foolish cheerfullness.

 

'Goodbye,' she answered.

 

I ripped myself away and walked towards the light at the end of the alley. Those had been the scariest few minutes of my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Seven

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I returned to Jon, I barely dared speak to him. I was too shocked.

 

 

 

'Goodbye, Father!' I called, grabbing a hunk of nutty bread and ripping it apart as I left the room.

 

'Don't be late!' he gruffly replied.

 

To be honest, I think Father was overjoyed at our recent outings. He may not have been entirely powerful over the Varrock and its citizens, but any authority he had was now totally warm.

 

 

 

Fear snuck through me like mist. My stomach churned. I was utterly petrified.

 

Mounting Sebby, I clicked my tongue and prayed I wouldn't have to do much; after all, the (short) journey had been made so many times, and in such swist succession that the horse had memorised it.

 

 

 

 

 

The barn was warmer than ever. The dancing had started with a lively waltz, and we joined the swirling mass of skirts and jackets before the clashing crescendo of the final notes.

 

 

 

I had recklessly accepted three tankards of ale. I felt light-headed and dizzy, but not unpleasantly so. Stumbling outside to check on the horses, I clutched the doorframe for support.

 

'Irus,'

 

I swore inwardly. This was the second time Katherine had caught me unawares- completely alone![/u]

 

'You got hooked on the ale!' she exclaimed. 'Oh dear. That stuff can take weeks to lose effect,'

 

'Oh,' I could think of nothing else to say...but I was just thinking how slender she was..sloping shoulders and those gorgeous eyes...

 

This was an exact replica of the situation a few hours ago. Katherine was so, so close...

 

And then I was thrust against the wall, her lips on mine, her hands on my shoulders...and I didn't try to stop her. I kissed her back, then tore away, gasping for breath. Katherine gave a triumphant grin, turned on her heel and flounced back inside.

[Babybyers]

He also recently asked his story to be closed because of the lack of admiration from his fellow tip.it'ers

 

More parts coming I hope?

 

 

 

~~Byers

 

 

 

EDIT: gotta add more man :P ending it right there was a bit odd, always post full chapters if possible!! :)

[issy2]

Lol, I think I just sent you a private message...I'm no good at that lol, not sure if you got :)

 

 

 

Yeah, I hope so. Enjoying it?

 

 

 

Need ideas. :-k

 

 

 

Issy.

[Babybyers]

Lol, I think I just sent you a private message...I'm no good at that lol, not sure if you got :)

 

 

 

hahaha I did get it and I replyed. Should keep you busy :wink:

 

Now I just have to wait to see what you do with this story. Its all up to you and I await the next parts!

 

 

 

~~Byers

[issy2]

ah-ha!

 

Ok how about this...*whispers*

 

 

 

Oops I did actually just type up the whole plot in this box and nearly click 'Submit'

 

 

 

That was close...=p

 

 

 

Okey Dokey...Come back tomorrow morning and Chapter Three should be in place. (assuming you live in Britain)

[Babybyers]

Read the new chapter and really liked it, I like the use of words and descriptions too.Keep up the good work man!

 

 

 

~~Byers

[issy2]

Ty:)

 

 

 

Which is the new chapter? I'm getting confused :-k .

[Babybyers]

Chapter 4 :)

 

Get those others posted this is a good read.

 

 

 

~~Byers

[Kiriyama]

Not Bad Issy, Didn't read it all but it was gd.

 

 

 

 

 

And Nutty u just sayin it bad coz of wot we said about uur terrible story.

[issy2]

Ty Sword:)

[Babybyers]

\ Liked the new chapters as well (5&6) *Awaiting more =D>

 

 

 

~~Byers

[kelem_ryu]

He also recently asked his story to be closed because of the lack of admiration from his fellow tip.it'ers

 

 

 

 

:shock: EDIT: oh the above comment was about nutty, not you =\

 

 

 

Impressionistic, Introverted, Romantic

 

 

 

I REaLly hope you'll continue and eventually find the time to finish it. (Hope you are more determined than i am on such matters).

 

 

 

yah just write on. i feel some of the chapters or in between of them could do with a little fleshing out (means making the plot more neat), but you can always do that at a later time (or not, if you don't want to 8-) ).

[issy2]

Yeah, thanks alot:)

 

 

 

 

 

I know the plot and flow needs editing; it's been switched between email, pm-ing to someone, being on Microsoft Word and being on tip.it. So I know have at least 6 versions... :-k

 

 

 

Thanks again for commenting!

 

Issy.

[kelem_ryu]

something different: "a childs point of view"? where did it go? did you delete it? (i don't think non rs storys are excluded on this forum, at least there is no explicit rule.) do you still have it?

 

 

 

oh and i just read the sticky: "call for submissions" you can actually get some royalities there. Seems they don't look for fan fiction, but your story here has nothing to do with rs anyway, besides the names.

[issy2]

No, actually it was a tad disturbing... :|

[Kiriyama]

Ty Sword:)

 

 

 

ur welcome

[issy2]

Oh yeah and where did you read to?

[InkofDeath]

ok, well i read it all and i kinda think yes it was good but coulda been better like for the ifrst bit its boring then it gets a little better but then stays there at that pace and nvr picks up, i don't feel any andrenoline like i do in some books...anwyays keep overall i'd read it ocne but not again.

[issy2]

Thanks Skatedog, I know it's not very exciting...it's a quiet kind of book and I'm gonna fill out the plot:)