The rules are simple write a limerick, if you don't know what a limerick is a poem with five lines that has a certain amount of comedy in it. Just write a limerick it can be about anything from the apocalyspe to pretty ponies(no not really pretty ponies unless you are a girl). I will start you off.

 

 

 

There once was a boy named Tom

 

 

 

He had a mean mom

 

 

 

She bored him every day

 

 

 

One day he shouted "Hooray!"

 

 

 

They then found out he was at the bay

 

 

 

No i did not think that made much sense either.

 

 

 

Now you try! If you need a further definition on limerick look in a dictionary!

There once was a pelican,

 

His beak can store more than his bellican,

 

In his beak,

 

He can store enough food for a week,

 

And I don't know how the hellican.

 

 

 

I'm not sure if that's right. Bellican is supposed to be belly can (and hellican -> hell he can) but I put it like that so it would be easier to understand the rhyme.

 

 

 

Learned that in english class all the way back in 10th grade.

There once was a teacher from Leeds,

 

Who swallowed a packet of seeds.

 

In less than an hour,

 

Her head was a flower

 

And her hair a bundle of weeds.

There once was a little squirrel man,

 

who thought he could do what I can.

 

He tried and he tried,

 

But couldnt, then cried.

 

For I am the best. THAT I AM!

Can I make one up?

 

 

 

There once was a tranny called mary,

 

Who was un-believably hairy,

 

She would roll on the floor,

 

Screaming "More, more, more!",

 

But the blokes still found her ugly and scary.

 

 

 

No offense to any transexuals, future transexuals (LP) or people who didn't find this funny.

Mine's a bit rude. Well, rude in the sense that it includes mention of parts of the body. Can I post it or not?

Fire away.

There once was a priest in a church,

 

He lived in a house made of birch,

 

He confessed all his sins,

 

And praised to the heavens,

 

But for now he's still with us on earth.

 

 

 

I will tell you the fate after birth,

 

Of a nice little planet called Earth,

 

The outside is gas,

 

The surface is grass,

 

And the core is a Stygian hearth.

 

 

 

There once was some grass that was green,

 

It had a bright colorful sheen,

 

It grew by a tree,

 

Which was planted by me,

 

And stayed there ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¹Ãâtill I was a teen.

 

 

 

Your words are as sharp as a knife,

 

Able to discourage a life,

 

Or you can say:

 

ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅHave a nice day!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

I once had a bro named Bill.

 

He always had worked at a mill.

 

He showed up one day

 

near the mill on the bay

 

to find that the mill had a spill.

 

 

 

He went up to find the problem.

 

I couldn't find anything to rhyme with problem.

 

He cleaned up the mess,

 

then he redressed.

 

and then he went home to his.... mothlem? (MOTHER)

 

 

 

So then he sat down and wrote.

 

How the mill on the hill just broke.

 

he sent it the other day

 

in the paper his father made

 

and he found that this poem had no point, so I continue writing this long run-on to increase the comedy of the poem at my on discressing, with the risk of being called "A Spammer".

You make me sick

 

 

 

And now i'm going to kick

 

 

 

you down niagra falls

 

 

 

and i hope you land on your balls

 

 

 

then hopefully your mom calls 8-)

 

 

 

Lmao that took like 3 seconds...

there once was a man from nantucket

 

who wanted to pee in a bucket

 

His daughter, named Nan

 

Ran away with a man

 

And, as for the bucket, Nantucket

Years ago I knew a fella

 

That loved to sing a capella

 

He had a bad sound

 

He's no longer around

 

I buried him in my cella :-$

 

 

 

Cella being cellar... kinda

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You make me sick

 

 

 

And now i'm going to kick

 

 

 

you down niagra falls

 

 

 

and i hope you land on your balls

 

 

 

then hopefully your mom calls 8-)

 

 

 

Lmao that took like 3 seconds...

 

 

 

Obviously someone hasn't yet grasped the essence of lymericks. The rhyme pattern is A A B B A and there's a certain flow of syllable that needs to be followed.

My name is Paco

 

I live in a taco

 

I make 500 pesos a day

 

I go to Lucy, she give me some *No no's*

 

and she take all my pesos away! HEY!

 

 

 

You make me sick

 

 

 

And now i'm going to kick

 

 

 

you down niagra falls

 

 

 

and i hope you land on your balls

 

 

 

then hopefully your mom calls 8-)

 

 

 

Lmao that took like 3 seconds...

 

 

 

Obviously someone hasn't yet grasped the essence of lymericks. The rhyme pattern is A A B B A and there's a certain flow of syllable that needs to be followed.

 

 

 

 

 

And someone else hasn't grasped the essence of constructive criticism...

 

Sorry for spamming. :-w

"There was a time that I care"

 

 

 

said the old man as he would stare.

 

 

 

He took out his gun.

 

 

 

Aimed at my mum.

 

 

 

And with a bang she wasn't there.

 

 

 

 

 

Im sorry for it being so bad. I'm not good at making them up on the spot.

I once had a green party hat,

 

I would wear as I did this and that.

 

 

 

Once while trying to bag

 

A monster, I did lag,

 

 

 

And now my green phat I lack!

There once was a lday from Cyprus

 

Who was hit in the cheek by three snipers

 

The Music she played

 

From the holes they made

 

Beat the highland pipers.

lemonade is made by richard simmons

 

he has all the hot womens

 

he eats all the oreos

 

i dont know what rhymes with oreo

 

and thats the story of the vietnam war.

This was on one of my friends answer machines...

 

 

 

You called, you must have something to say.

 

Sadly we're busy or simply away.

 

But if, after the tone

 

You leave us your phone

 

We'll get back to you later today.