It is the future. RuneScape is very different from what you are used to. All the dragons are cyborgs, the gods walk Gielenor and lead normal lives. There are no armor anymore except liquid armor and all swords and such have dissapeared and were replaced by lasers guns, M-26s, and all sorts of other firearms. One ancient village however was secluded from the rest of Gielenor. The village was called Brimhaven. On a distant island nobody goes to anymore they continue the primitive ways of ancient Gielenor. Brimhaven and the surrounding cities were refuges for castaways and people whose lives are so burdened by the sheer weight of technology that they cracked under the strain. Brimhaven however won't stay peaceful forever...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One day a battalion of ships made land in Karamja harbor. On a closer look the islanders saw that the ship was filled to the brim with soldiers and explosives. Then one day later the islanders sent a spy to the ships then the spy came running back screaming that the soldiers were digging tunnels under Brimhaven and setting the explosives under it...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This enraged the islanders for they liked their peaceful lives and they didn't want to die. So they did the only sensible thing they went to the volcano and set the lesser demons free. They sent heavily armor men to the pit and they lowered the bridge. The lesser demons came rampaging out! The men screamed and ran for their lives. The lesser demons ran to the ship and were instantly spotted by the captain..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part II coming soon

Not excactly a great story but, it isnt that bad...

Its ok.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When theres more I might comment properly. :wall:

sounds like The Last Samuri people fighting with the ancient arts of old against tecnology. Not the first time this has been done before, but it has potential if used properly... will be continuing to read

Okay, I'll try to give you some in-depth criticism...

 

 

 

It is the future. RuneScape is very different from what you are used to. All the dragons are cyborgs, the gods walk Gielenor and lead normal lives.

 

 

 

Eh, it's a bit dull. You talk about the current situation, but it sounds clumsy. You don't give any reasons for anything to be as they are. The dragons just suddenly became cyborgs, without the reader finding out whether it was because of human intereference or some sort of paranormal evolution. You make the gods' situation sound so insignificant. The change has almost no impact on the reader.

 

 

 

There are no armor anymore except liquid armor and all swords and such have dissapeared and were replaced by lasers guns, M-26s, and all sorts of other firearms.

 

 

 

How? Why? Just throwing out names won't make it sound impressive. In fact, the way you do it, it all sounds rather trite. The way you write it lends itself to a "meh" reaction.

 

 

 

One ancient village however was secluded from the rest of Gielenor. The village was called Brimhaven. On a distant island nobody goes to anymore they continue the primitive ways of ancient Gielenor.

 

 

 

Right, right...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, if it's a distant island nobody goes to anymore, how does it survive? Brimhaven in Runescape canon isn't exactly a place that would be able to sustain itself, given a natural increase in population over time.

 

 

 

Brimhaven and the surrounding cities were refuges for castaways and people whose lives are so burdened by the sheer weight of technology that they cracked under the strain. Brimhaven however won't stay peaceful forever...

 

 

 

You just said that the village was secluded. Now it's surrounded by cities. Normally, a city would be surrounded by villages which provide for it. Again, this violates suspension of disbelief because there is no way a village could exist, surrounded by cities on a forgotten island.

 

 

 

One day a battalion of ships made land in Karamja harbor.

 

 

 

Why was there suddenly a batallion of ships? It's hard to care about the situation, either, because the reader hasn't had the time to develop an emotional attachment to the island. All we know is that it's a secluded island, and suddenly it's being invaded. Why should the reader care? You have to give them reasons to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also, a batallion is really a measure of strength on land.

 

 

 

On a closer look the islanders saw that the ship was filled to the brim with soldiers and explosives.

 

 

 

I thought there was a number of ships? Suddenly there's only one, and somehow it has enough space to store supplies for soldiers as well as explosives?

 

 

 

Then one day later the islanders sent a spy to the ships then the spy came running back screaming that the soldiers were digging tunnels under Brimhaven and setting the explosives under it...

 

 

 

Why are they digging tunnels and setting the explosives? How can the people who are isolated even know what the explosives are, let alone be able to get close enough to a military concentration without any apparent training? Also, why would the islanders send a spy without any good reason?

 

 

 

This enraged the islanders for they liked their peaceful lives and they didn't want to die. So they did the only sensible thing they went to the volcano and set the lesser demons free.

 

 

 

Wait... so somehow they knew the explosives would be dangerous, despite having been isolated while everyone else developed technology. Somehow they were able to go into a volcano and set a bunch of demons free without any apparent effort. That was supposed to be the intelligent option, rather than trying to negotiate? I'd hate to see what the worst option was...

 

 

 

They sent heavily armor men to the pit and they lowered the bridge. The lesser demons came rampaging out! The men screamed and ran for their lives. The lesser demons ran to the ship and were instantly spotted by the captain..

 

 

 

So... there's a pit, and it's accessed both by lowering people into it, as well as a bridge. Why couldn't they just lower the bridge without throwing people in? How did they manage to still have heavy armour? From your description, they haven't had any reason to make war on anyone for the past few centuries - the minimum time it would take to go from medieval weaponry to functional laser weapons - yet they had heavy armour, and they were lowering people into a volcano while wearing it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And oh noes, the lesser demons ran for the ship, and the captain saw them. That doesn't sound very exciting at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You need more description, and less violation of suspension of disbelief. It's very hard to take a story seriously when it introduces something briefly and then just goes "oh yeah, and one day they were invaded."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Events take time to happen, and they also need reasons to happen.

Agreed with Zonorhc, it was pretty much a 'meh' story. Which is a shame because I am unaware of any such story of this nature. Also if the gods walked the earth then a bunch of lesser demons are hardly going to scare a group of heavierly armed and technologically advanced attackers...Also there is little chance that a lesser demon could swim....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's a ok idea but serouisly needs to be rethought...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Although might make sense to the wider runescape populus

yeah it really needs to be redone. its all happening too fast and i dont rekcon its really rune scape.

 

 

 

Rune, is an ancient item, as you know, rune stones, and scape... (dont look at me? lol) but the point is that runescape is based as a medievil community and i doubt that even if runescape is still populated this far in the future, it would keep its reputation for an amazing medievil world.

 

 

 

And yes, things are too fast paced. slow things down a bit and think over what your going to do. The quote, 'a quick game's a good game' doesnt apply when writing stories, but dont overdo it with boring lectures every 2nd paragraph.

 

 

 

Overall it seems like a good plot to do for a story.