I've realized I'm going to kill myself. Not decided when but it's going to be soon. I'm not saying this because I simply want your pity -- I'm not that consumed with derelict naiveté. There are two kinds of people in this world, those who talk [cabbage], and those who do [cabbage]. I'm sick of people calling me a [bleep], simply for having my roots intertwined with my convictions. My parents will never accept being gay; and I can never tell them. No one in my community, on earth or the celestial one will accept me, and in this collectivist society, if the society doesn't accept the individual; how can one accept himself. Anyways I'm not really sure why I'm writing this. But yea. I waste all my life on this game hoping its quasi celluloid pixelized endorphins will kick in and fill in the hole that deep down I know will never be filled. I don't really want to kill myself, I've kinda come to realize that via introspection; then again, someone has to kill them self sometime, other wise the word would have no meaning. And we all know, we simply cannot have that.

Let me tell you a little story......or something.....

[hide]

man don't kill yourself....let me tell you a story....one sec...

 

Let me tell you a little rhyme

i hope you don't mind

okay it seems to me

all you see

is a life with desparity

that become reality

but in this dumb [wagon] world

you will soar

above all

and piss over everybody in that stall

but don't kill yourself

because their words don't mean crap

but your life means more then mine

if i can stop somebody from sucide

it will be more cliche then a rhyme

saru for those people call you beep

they are lower than that beep

your like bolt your faster then all those jack [wagon]

your like ice your cooler then all those morons

your hotter than an oven in auschwitz

i am like martin luther king jr cause i have a dream

that you won't commit [bleep]ing sucide

but hey i am kota

i may joke

but don't choke

on a piece of rope

seriously saru, your better then this

and it ain't a diss

i can only hope you won't die

but i know you can prove those doubers wrong

just like harriet tubman

just like tons of other people

doubters

haters

are nothing more

then jack [wagon]

not to be racist or anything

 

so i told you a little poetry

my little rhyme

which i hope you don't mind

that you will listen to me one time

because in the end we will die

 

 

 

SUP BRO

[/hide]

Ll. it isn't gonna be tonight :P

I'm not gonna say don't do it, but I can only recommend you not doing it. I tried twice (couldn't get the balls to go through with it) only to realize after seeing 3 people in my class commit suicide that it is not worth it. Even if your parents and community cannot accept you being gay if you take your own life it will hurt those close to you whether you think they care or not. I saw all of this when the 3 people killed themselves. Killing yourself is not the answer. A permanent solution to a temporary problem.... keep that in mind.

 

peace,

Vann

But a solution nonetheless. ;) besides its not like I'ma become a [kitty]monster all the sudden.

Your parents won't be around forever to hold you down. If you kill youself your just giving the people what they want. Why don't you live your life just to piss the other people off? That's really the best thing you can do :) This generation is more accepting of gays. Screw the old people there going to be dead soon so their opinions of gays shouldn't matter. :) just don't give in...I've learned to accept it. My mom still is in denial but I could care less. I just know I'm making my future great so I don't have to deal with my family. Letssssssss quote someone we both know. "Whatever doesn't kill you, is gonna leave a scar"

Go to SF :D

Have you considered moving to LA?

move to haiti tbh

If you are going to kill yourself have fun. No offense but I show no respect for people who make those kind of choices. You will die one day regardless of how you do it. Just live your life and make the best of it. If you quit this early in life, you haven't even begun to live.

If you are going to kill yourself have fun. No offense but I show no respect for people who make those kind of choices. You will die one day regardless of how you do it. Just live your life and make the best of it. If you quit this early in life, you haven't even begun to live.

 

 

Thanks for the honest response :)

 

 

(i mean it)

 

I mean I really don't see any other way out, I've been looking online, and every person whos survived an attempt always says "wow I felt like this is my only option" its not my only one, but the only one thats viable. Sure I could move to another state, disown my family start a new etc; but how do I know that will change anything? I've been on anti depressants since 7th grade and I've never felt happy in my whole life. So tbh idk why I'm even telling you guys this. I am pretty sure I sound like just another "omg i need to die cuz my heart is filled with the darkness of the world. i have been corrupted by this conformist society and i cannot take this anymore. my poetry speaks what i cannot" [developmentally delayed]. but still. w\e just [bleep]in disregard all this [cabbage] as I was writing this I decided to give it "another" shot though I doubt that'll do anything. Sorry if I wasted your time, and sorry if I sound like a douche bag I'm just pissed. I do love you guys (no homo or hetero)

 

 

IN OTHER NEWS

 

Dining room maxed, cost me 2926k.

Portal Room (Ardy, Fally, Cammy)

Bedroom 1

Bedroom 2

Combat Room

O lookie I got a guest.

 

Portal room maxed as well, but am waiting on laws so I can make the teles. I also made a magic cape rack in costume room (cost 1m)

I can see up your skirt, say what.

someone needz to listen to 18 Wheeler

Maxed out today:

 

 

Dining Room

Bedroom

Bedroom

Portal Room

Combat Room

Dungeon Corridor 1

 

Portal Room (Ardy, Fally, Cammy)

Bedroom 1

Bedroom 2

Combat Room

o nice house so far

 

nawt as gud as mine (mine sucks, so urs sucks moar)

95 Con :)

 

700k til 96. Easyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Good job, now build my crystal throne <3

onice

 

gj

WILL DO. U can be da queen. BUT IM THE KING.

 

 

 

Now I gotta get sc hammers. I finally ran out >.<

 

 

EDIT: SORRY CODGUY I DIDNT SEE UR POST I GUESS YOU'RE NOT IMPORTANT.

 

 

ty codguy <3

Whatev. Queen gets more attention

damn straight

what outfit looks good with con cape

what outfit looks good with con cape

Birthday Suit

 

peace,

Vann

illegal

Nothing.

Nothing.