Battle of the gods chapter 1 (chapter 2 coming soon)

[lya_helix]

Rate this with smileys

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

0= :evil:

 

 

 

1= :x

 

 

 

2= :shame:

 

 

 

3= =;

 

 

 

4= :|

 

 

 

5=

 

 

 

6= 8-)

 

 

 

7= :P

 

 

 

8= :)

 

 

 

9= :D

 

 

 

10= :mrgreen:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So there i was, battling along side guthix, so far, we were winning. "We can do this!" I yelled. "just...a few more...shots" Guthix yelled, almost out of hp, "I cant...handle it...much longer" He wheeped, "here, take this!" I was about to give him my last healing vial. "But..." he whimpered. "Just take it!" I yelled to him, as my hp dropped down wildly. Guthix drank it. Then as i was on my list bit of hp, Guthix used a restore spell on me, as i used claws of guthix, He stopped me. "No, il handle this" He said, as he charged up claws of guthix. "I'll hold them off for you to get zammorak" I said, charging up the bind spell. The Zammorak warriors were going to destroy us , just before guthix used claws of guthix, at double the power, they all wimpered away like cowards. "What are you doing?" Zammorak yelled "You should be fighting, not running away like cowards!" He yelled. "Ha ha, your defences are weakening!" I yelled, Some how, Zammorak used a control spell on me, and took over my mind. "Must...resist..." I yelled, trying to resist his mind control. "You cannot resist much longer!" Zammorak yelled" "Cant...Guthix! your time has come!" I yelled, under zammoraks mind control. I casted flamed of zammorak on guthix and his warriors as i was under Zammorak's mind control. "you all must die!!!!" I yelled. "you all must...Arggg!!!!" I yelled, breaking free of his mind control. "yes, claws of guthix" i used on zammorak, as he was sent to the ghost realm, never to return."well, I dont think we'll be seeing him again..." I said. "you got that right." Guthix said. But, zammorak was not gone yet...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2 coming soon!

[issy2]

:|

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HP? That's runescape. This is a story. Anyway it's not like there's another 50 threads out there on the 'wars of the gods' or whatever. There's absolutely no paragraphing, grammar is bad, you use the word 'yelled' too much. And please please don't use "..." for speech. The correct speech mark is actually '..'

 

 

 

" 'But - ' he whimpered. "

 

 

 

"..." are actually quotation marks, regularly used in a story to indicate a quote or saying. The actually speech is in '. The quote is in ".

 

 

 

And what's up with the ending? I think we need more detail.

[andufusthebronze]

:|

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HP? That's runescape. This is a story. Anyway it's not like there's another 50 threads out there on the 'wars of the gods' or whatever. There's absolutely no paragraphing, grammar is bad, you use the word 'yelled' too much. And please please don't use "..." for speech. The correct speech mark is actually '..'

 

 

 

" 'But - ' he whimpered. "

 

 

 

"..." are actually quotation marks, regularly used in a story to indicate a quote or saying. The actually speech is in '. The quote is in ".

 

 

 

And what's up with the ending? I think we need more detail.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

what she said

[Xewleer]

I read that and came away feeling empty, no feelings or wonderment, no emotion,, except of slight discomfort because I ate an apple at the same time. My stomach hurts now. :x because I pity you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edit: jk, I don't really pity you, just your story.

[warri0r45]

:shame:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reasons:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1) As Issy said, your grammar and punctuation are all over the shop.

 

 

 

2) It's about runescape :roll: and you use phrases such as 'hp' and all the spells from the game. -.- Need i say more?

[emperorray]

:mrgreen:

[Zygimantas]

.... uhhhhh I don't like it... this has no backround... you just magicly appear fighting against zamorak with guthix.... there is no reason behind it nothing.