Any Editors Here?

[Dead_Dumb]

okay first, sorry if this is in the wrong forum, wasn't sure where to put it.

 

 

 

Just move it to where it belongs I s'pose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just want someone to edit my crabbie 3min speech (for my english public speaking thing :( ) for me... I'll um give you a cookie if you do! ^^

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway here's the speech:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thousands of years ago, cave people tediously hunted dangerous, wild animals just to satisfy a single mealÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ maybe 2.

 

 

 

Sometimes they get injured hunting these animals and it might even escape so all their hard work was for nothing.

 

 

 

Even if they do manage to catch a say, wild deer, they would have somehow cut the poor animal up, make some source of heat and then ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¹ÃâcookÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ it. This process should take a least 4 hrs, assuming that they were successful.

 

 

 

Nowadays, with our advance technology, we can just pick up our phones and dial up to the nearest Pizza Hut delivery service and order food there.

 

 

 

Our access to food is so much easier because of technology, not to mention more hygienic.

 

 

 

Water, which is essential to our everyday lives, is cleaner because of technology. Imagine if you have to drink muddy water everyday just because of the lack of water filters.

 

 

 

Technology is also good, as it helps us to communicate more efficiently. Who here has a computer with msn installed in it or even just a phone?

 

 

 

Without it, how would you be able to communicate with the people suburbs away?

 

 

 

Without technology, you would probably be sending messages and letters via unreliable pigeons, which may eat your message rather than sending it. Then you will have no contact with the outside world. With technology, you could just turn on your computer and send messages to

 

 

 

people suburbs, cities, and even countries away. There are also mobile phones, where you can call and text messages to one another.

 

 

 

Even now, Google has created a portable map where you can you download it onto your very own mobile phone. So if you ever get lost, you could just take out your phone and locate where you are.

 

 

 

Transportation is made easier with technology.

 

 

 

Before hi-tech transport was available, people had to walk kilometres just to get to work or school.

 

 

 

Going overseas to other countries was very difficult.

 

 

 

For some people, they never even heard of other countries.

 

 

 

Some had gone off in small boats across a sea of water, in terror of falling off the edge of the world.

 

 

 

Without technology, like satellites etc, to view the world, people will have no knowledge of what is outside their areas.

 

 

 

Also with our advance in technology, the number of deaths is rapidly decreasing.

 

 

 

Eg, from the 1900 to 2000, the mortality rate has decreased from 103 to 5.4 out of every 1000 babies in Australia, which is a 94.9% decrease.

 

 

 

With all the medical advancements, people are less likely to suffer from diseases that could be easily prevented today.

 

 

 

Our lifestyle is getting better with technology. We donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t have to do as much physical work. Eg Instead of hand washing clothes, we use a washing machine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There it is, I still haven't written my conclusion yet, I'll write one when I could think of what to write...

 

 

 

Tips anyone? lol, I'm hopeless at English :(

[Zonorhc]

What's the exact topic?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that's three minutes? Sheesh, you must talk really slowly.

[sheepdean]

Thousands of years ago, early humans would hunt dangerous, wild animals just to satisfy themselves for a meal or two

 

 

 

They could easily get injured during their hunt, and killing thw animal was not a certain, so tey could go to alot of hard work for nothing.

 

 

 

In the event that the did manage to catch an animal, such as a deer, they would still have to skin, cut, clean and cook the animal, aswell as having to make the fire to cook it on. this entire process could last 4 hours, and like the hunting, it would not always be succesful.

 

 

 

Today, as we have technology to cater for our needs, we can simply pick up the telephone, and dial for the nearest takeaway to be delivered fresh and hot to our door with almost no effort. Our access to food is far easier than all that time ago, as well as bing far more hygenic.

 

 

 

Water too, essential for our very survival, is cleaner and easier to access due to technology. Just imagine if you have to drink muddy, disease carrying water everyday just because of the lack of water filtering facilities.

 

 

 

Technology is beneficial in other areas too, as it helps us to communicate more efficiently. Who here has a computer with an instant messenging service, or even just a phone?

 

 

 

Without those, how would you be able to communicate with the people suburbs, towns and cities away?

 

 

 

Without technology, you would probably be sending messages and letters via unreliable messengers on horseback, smoke signals or even pigeon couriers. Then your contact with the outside world would be severley diminished. With technology, you can just turn on your computer and send messages to people suburbs, cities, and even countries away. There are also mobile phones, personal laptops and PDAs, with which you can call and send text messages to one another.

 

 

 

We even have a service provided by Google, a portable map which you can download onto your own mobile phone, so that if you ever get lost, within phone reception, you can just take out your phone and locate where you are.

 

 

 

Transportation too is made easier with technology.

 

 

 

Before electrical transport was available, people had to walk or ride many kilometres just to get to work, school or anywhere.

 

 

 

Going overseas to other countries was of course very difficult.

 

 

 

Without technology, like satellites etc, to view the world, people would have next to no knowledge of what is outside their general area.

 

 

 

Also with our advance in technology, the mortality rate is decreasing.

 

 

 

For example, from the 1900 to 2000, the mortality rate has decreased from 103 to 5.4 out of every 1000 babies in Australia, which is an amazing 97.6% decrease.

 

 

 

With all of the medical advancements, people are also less likely to suffer from easily preventable, and often curable, diseases .

 

 

 

Our lifestyle is getting better with technology. We donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t have to do as much physical work, such as instead of hand washing clothes, we use a washing machine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Any thing extra you may want adding, just PM me with

 

 

 

Now where's my cookie?

[Nadril]

Yeah, whats this about?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Btw it ends really... bad. You end it talking about a washing machine, but you should end it summing up the entire speach.

[sheepdean]

Yeah, whats this about?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Btw it ends really... bad. You end it talking about a washing machine, but you should end it summing up the entire speach.

 

 

 

he said he would write a conclusion later - i'm not writing new stuff, just changing

[Nadril]

 

Yeah, whats this about?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Btw it ends really... bad. You end it talking about a washing machine, but you should end it summing up the entire speach.

 

 

 

he said he would write a conclusion later - i'm not writing new stuff, just changing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, oops.

[indy500fan]

It still doesn't follow any conceivable format for a speech.

[unknownmasterofnothing]

too many topics, need to get more specific.

[knives669]

Thousands of years ago, cave people tediously hunted dangerous, wild animals just to satisfy a single mealÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ maybe 2.

 

 

 

Sometimes they got injured hunting these animals. Sometimes the animal would even escape, rendering all their hard work useless.

 

 

 

Even if they did manage to catch a wild deer, they would have somehow cut the animal up, make some source of heat and then ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¹ÃâcookÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ it. This process would take a least 4 hrs, assuming that they were successful.

 

 

 

Nowadays, with our advances in technology, we can just pick up our phones and dial up to the nearest Pizza Hut delivery service and order food there.

 

 

 

Our access to food is so much easier because of technology. It is also more hygienic.

 

 

 

Water, which is essential to our everyday lives, is cleaner because of technology. Imagine having to drink impure water, filled with bacteria and dirt like the cavemen did.

 

 

 

Technology also helps us to communicate more efficiently. Who here has a computer with MSN Messenger installed or a phone? Imagine your life without phones or the internet.

 

 

 

Without technology, we would probably still be sending messages and letters via pigeons. With technology, you could just turn on your computer and send messages to people who live suburbs, cities, and even countries away. There are also mobile phones, where you can call and text messages to one another.

 

 

 

Even now, Google has created a portable map that you can download onto your mobile phone. So if you ever get lost, you could just take out your phone and find your location.

 

 

 

Transportation is made easier with technology. Before hi-tech transport was available, people had to walk everywhere. Going overseas to other countries was nearly impossible. Many people were even ignorant to the existence of other countries. Long ago, people considered the world being flat to be common knowledge. Of course, with photos from satellites orbiting the Earth, we now know today that the world is round.

 

 

 

Also with our advance in technology and medicine, the average life expectancy has risen dramatically.

 

 

 

Eg, from 1900 to 2000, the mortality rate has decreased from 103 to 5.4 out of every 1000 babies in Australia, which is a 94.9% decrease.

 

 

 

With all the medical advancements, people are less likely to suffer from diseases that could be easily prevented today.

 

 

 

Our lifestyle is getting better with technology. We donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t have to do as much physical work. Eg Instead of hand washing clothes, we use a washing machine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whenever you need help with your conclusion, just post it and I'll be happy to help you. :D

[goldphishies]

Do you have to do a works cited page?....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What will you say on it? "Numerous people on a runescape fansite helped me with my speech".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, it's pretty good, bit patchy in places, but good overall. If you need any help with a conclusion, just pm me=) :)

[sheepdean]

add to the end

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our lifestyle is getting better with technology. We donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t have to do as much physical work, such as instead of hand washing clothes, we use a washing machine, we can access information readily with the aid of the internet and we can use electric lighting rather than fires or having to finish all work at the end of the lit day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In concusion, technology, from electrical appliances to medicines, has helped humanity progress its future both socially and geographically

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

conclusion is a bit weak, but without title, it's hard to do

[Dead_Dumb]

the title is um something with Technology is Good or something. I don't know, I couldn't come up with a title, which probably ends why my speech is so bad >.<

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm s'pose to say this speech in front of politicians according to the marking sheet. LOL I'm just imagined my classmates as politicians

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, thanks everyone who helped! All I need now is a conclusion... Hm; to conclude, tech is good... :-k