As of yet, untitled.

Long ago, i wrote a story, dubbed "Vampyric"

http://forum.tip.it/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=756828 There's the link, if you want a laugh at some horrible writing xD

After serious thought, I completely redid the story, and I've decided to post what i have written so far, for some nice, wholesome criticism. ^^ weee. Please criticize, I need it. I'm aware the ending of part two leaves off at an awkward place, and needs some editing. I'm working on this, but still criticize. :twss:

Part One

I was falling. Listless, with no purpose, I welcomed the cold abyss. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, then unimaginable pain.

Crouched over my body was an Angel.

It must be heaven, I thought, But why does she look so scared?

As my mind became fuzzy, I felt myself being lifted by cold arms. I tried to struggle as my vision faded, but I couldn't escape the icy grasp, taking me away from my Angel.

Taking me into hell.

"Get me out of here!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, struggling against tight leather restraints. My terrified cry echoed off the walls, and I was overwhelmed with fear.

I was in a large white room, strapped to a cold metal table. At that moment, a door on the opposite end of the room flew open, and a tall man in a lab coat with jet black hair and marble white skin strode smoothly over to the table, not making a sound. He looked down at me with piercing, ice blue eyes.

"Alex Mason, Sex: Female, Age: 16, am I correct?" the man inquired in a smooth, soothing voice, pulling a clipboard off of a hook attached to the table.

"What do you want with me?" I asked frantically, again straining to escape the straps containing me as the man scribbled on his clipboard, unaffected by my pleading.

"I want you to wake up!" hissed the man angrily, looking up from his clipboard. His eyes became a dark red, and his handsome features became distorted with fury.

"What?! What do you mean?" I asked, fear evident in my voice.

"WAKE UP YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF [cabbage], WAKE UP!" he shouted menacingly.

A harsh slap to the face wrenched me from my dream, to my father's shouting.

"I swear to god young lady, If you're late to the bus-" my father said angrily, wrenching me out of bed.

I stood up feebly, and my father shouted something that sounded like "5 minutes" before leaving me, slamming my bedroom door shut.

I pulled on some clothes, a plain yellow T-Shirt and a pair of jeans, and walked over to a large mirror. I picked up a brush, and began to brush m long brown hair. When I finished, I stared blankly at the thin, pale face that looked back at me through the mirror with brooding, dark green eyes.

"Alex! You're late!" shouted my father, bursting through my bedroom door.

"Dad, I just need a few more minutes, I-" I started, before receiving another slap to the face.

"Oh, look at that! Those jeans are too tight, that will never do!" he taunted, glee in his eyes, "Why would you torture all the other children at school with your huge, jiggling thighs?"

"Who are you to judge me, fat [wagon]?" I retorted, my voice dripping with rage, "Why don't you go eat some more junk food?"

"You stupid little [bleep]!" my father shouted, taking a step forward, "I'll teach you to talk to me like that!"

My older sister Laura walked in, a confused look on her face, as my father punched me in the gut, making me stumble back into my mirror. The mirror fell from the wall and shattered, showering me in shards of glass.

"Dad! What do you think you're doing?!" she shouted, a mortified look on her face.

"Laura, get out of here, now!" my dad snapped, spinning to face my sister, "Or I swear to God I'll-"

"No! I'm not going to run anymore," said Laura, infuriated, walking to my side, "I'm moving out! And I'm taking Alex with me. You'll regret this!"

"Oh no you aren't! You're not going anywhere!" my dad spat, "You'll be lucky if they even find your body!"

My dad launched himself at Laura, who dodged out of the way. He stepped on a shard of glass, slicing open his foot. He stared, stunned at the gash in his foot, which was bleeding heavily. He spun on his heel, ignoring the pain, and again ran at Laura. She reached into her pocket, whipping out a jar of pepper spray. She pushed down on the nozzle, spraying my dad in the face. He stopped dead in his tracks howling, clawing at his face.

Laura ran to my side, and pulled me up. She dragged me down the stairs, and out the front door. She wrenched open the passenger side door to her silver Honda Civic, and I got in, wincing as I sat down, pain shooting through my body. Laura threw herself into the driver's seat, turning the key. The engine roared to life, and she punched on the gas, not taking her eyes off of the road.

"Buckle up," she said, her jaw clenched, staring straight ahead.

I obeyed her command, and stared at my feet, rubbing a lump that began to form on my head.

"I can't believe this. I can't believe you didn't tell anyone!" said Laura, her voice barely a whisper, "How long?"

"A few weeks," I mumbled, "Around the time that mom started going into work early."

"A few weeks?" shouted Laura, her voice cracking, tears running down her face, "It's been two months! We can't stay there anymore. Don't ride the bus home, I'm picking you up after school. You'll go home, pack your things, and we'll stay with Krysta until I can find my own apartment."

"You know that they'll have the police busting down her door," I said harshly, not looking up from my feet, "What do you plan on doing about that?"

"There's a new lawyer in town," said Laura firmly, "Jason Monroe, I'm going to see if I can get him to take our case."

Laura turned into the parking lot of Mineral Ridge High school, and screeched to a stop.

"I'll see you after school," she said, her harsh voice softening, "I promise things will get better."

"Thanks," I mumbled, stepping gingerly out of the car, "See you."

I walked up to the front doors of the school, and I spotted Katie, staring impatiently as i walked up the sidewalk.

"Why weren't you on the bus today?" she said sternly as I walked up to her, "I needed help with my geometry!"

"I'm sorry. I was a bit late this morning," I told her, choosing my words carefully. I hated lying to Katie, my best friend, but she couldn't know. My apology satisfied her, and we walked down the crowded hallway, lined with bright orange lockers. I stared at the ground as she chattered happily into my ear.

"You missed something really interesting on the bus today," she said cheerfully, waving to friends passing the opposite direction, "There were some new students on the bus. There were like, gorgeous!"

"What do you mean, gorgeous?" I asked, looking up from the ground, suddenly interested.

"Well, there's this girl, she looks like she belongs on the cover of a magazine! And there's these two guys, and-" she stopped suddenly, staring open mouthed down the hall. I followed her gaze, and gasped. Right next to my locker were the three most stunning people I had ever seen. There were two boys, and a girl. All three were very pale, well dressed, and absolutely mesmerizing.

"See what i mean?" squealed Katie, grabbing my attention, "Absolutely gorgeous."

As Katie went to her locker, I could have sworn that the girl looked up, laughter in her olive green eyes. I walked up to my locker timidly, and tried not to stare. I grabbed my biology book, and when I closed my locker, the three were gone. I stared around, confused, and Katie rushed to my side. She looked around, a disappointed look on her face.

"Where did they go?" she asked disappointed, "Did they say anything?"

"I don't know! They were there when I opened my locker, but when i closed it they were just gone!" I said incredulously, "They didn't make a sound."

The warning bell rang, and me and Katie headed towards our Algebra class. Katie walked in ahead of me, and as I walked in, I ran into her, making her lose balance. She shrieked as she started to fall, and then suddenly stopped. I looked up and saw the new girl carefully putting Katie back on her feet. She stood rooted to the spot, dazed.

"Katie, are you okay?" I asked, concerned, "You look a bit weird."

"Was she just outside?" inquired Katie, turning her head, "I think she was."

"Why?" I asked, "What was wrong with her?"

"When she grabbed my arms, I could have sworn that her hands were freezing cold. Almost icy," she whispered slowly, shooting a wary glance at Madeline, standing by the teacher's desk, "It was unnatural."

"Oh calm down Katie, everyone has cold hands sometimes," I teased, nudging her shoulder, "You were just imagining things."

The bell rang, and Katie hurried to her seat, me following close behind. I sat in my usual seat behind her, and laid my head on my arms.

Looking towards the front of the room, I saw the new girl staring at Katie, an inquisitive, hurt expression on her face, like she heard what Katie said, taking it as an insult. A split second after I started staring, Her gaze met mine, and I quickly looked away. A few moments later, Mrs. Bailey walked in, stopping in her tracks when she saw the new girl at the front of her classroom. She shook her head slightly, and walked to her desk, picking up a small piece of paper on top of a stack of notebooks.

"Well class, it seems we have a new student." she said, a bit flustered, "Everybody, please welcome Madeline Monroe."

Madeline nodded politely as the class grumbled a tired greeting, and Mrs. Bailey directed her to her seat. She was seated in an empty desk next to Katie, who whimpered and scooted to the edge of her chair. Madeline either didn't notice, or brushed it off, and Mrs. Bailey began the lesson. I laid my head on the cool desk, and fell asleep.

I was on a small patch of land in a dense swamp, surrounded by trees. In my peripheral vision, I saw a bright white light. I turned to face the light, and through the thick trees, saw a tall, marble white, platinum blond woman in a wispy white dress, staring coldly at me. She was suspended in midair, white light emanating from her body. She slowly descended, her foot touching the water. She strode gently across the water, which rippled under her light footsteps. Less than a foot away from me she stopped, staring angrily at me with blood red eyes.

"Who are you?" I whispered slowly, shocked by this woman's beauty, "What do you want?"

The mysterious woman's lips parted, and a low, snake-like hiss escaped from her throat. I backed away, and her mouth opened wider. She stepped on to the small patch of land, reaching out her hands. She grabbed my throat, and moved her head slowly to the base of my neck.

Suddenly, a bell rang, startling the strange woman. She released her grasp, and disappeared into the murky depths of the swamp water. I snapped out of my dream, and looked groggily around the emptying classroom. I took a worksheet tucked under my folded arms, and stowed it in my backpack, getting up and heading for the door.

I drifted through the rest of the day mindlessly, dreading the end of the school day. The final bell rang, Katie chatting in my ear about her newest fantasy about the Monroe brothers, and I headed toward the parking lot.

"Why is Laura here?" asked Katie, spotting the Civic parked in front of the school, "Is she taking you home?"

"I'm not going home, Katie. Not for a while," I said with a sigh, as Laura honked the horn, "But I gotta go, see you tomorrow."

I walked slowly to Laura's car, and stepped in lightly, throwing my backpack in the back seat.

"How was school?" asked Laura dismally, looking out the windshield, "I bet it wasn't as eventful as my day."

"Well, actually, I met that lawyer's kids today," I said, suddenly becoming more interested in our conversation, "They're all unbelievable!"

"Oh my God I bet!" said Laura longingly, "I almost melted when I walked into Mr. Monroe's office today!"

"How'd that go?" I asked, trying to sound casual, "Will he take our case?"

"Yes! He agreed to do it at a discount!" she said exuberantly, "He has a thing for these kind of cases, especially after what happened with Sam, his son."

"What happened?" I asked, my curiosity bubbling, "Was he abused?"

"Oh yes. Mr. Monroe saved him," Laura said darkly, "His parents almost killed him, they were so abusive. Mr. Monroe adopted him earlier this year, and he's still having trust issues with other people, so they generally keep to themselves."

"What else happened today?" I asked warily, remembering her sad tone, "Anything important?"

"Mom called. She was in hysterics. Dad told her you completely lost your temper, shattered your mirror, and tried to stab him," Laura said angrily, "She thinks you were hurting him. She called me from the hospital bawling, saying she has the police waiting to arrest you the moment you get home. When I found out, I rushed home and gathered all of your things. I won't let them do this to you."

As this explanation went on, the needle on the speedometer slowly indicated faster and faster speeds, and Laura became red with fury.

"Slow down Laura, you'll kill us!" I begged. She eased her foot off the gas, and turned down Harding Street, a dead end road. She pulled into the driveway of a large house, and turned off the engine. Krysta was standing on the porch, arms crossed. When we pulled up, she walked quickly to the back of the car, hitting the trunk with her hand.

"Hey, open up!" she shouted brusquely, "Let's get this stuff inside."

Laura popped the trunk, and got out of the car, slamming her door shut behind her. I remained in my seat, staring blankly ahead. I heard Laura's muffled voice as she helped Krysta remove a large suitcase and duffel bag from the trunk.

"Thank you so much for letting us stay," Laura said gratefully, It means so much to the both of us.

No problem Laura, really, said Krysta, pulling her curly brown hair into a ponytail, Glad to have you.

As Laura and Krysta were dragging my things up the driveway, Laura beckoned for me to get out of the car. I got out slowly, and walked up the driveway to the front door. I sat down on a bench by the front door, and looked around the street. My eyes fell on a very large white house across the street, and my jaw dropped. Staring back at me from a large window was Madelines brother. Instantly fearful, I stood up quickly, and rushed inside.

Hey, watch it there kiddo, said Krysta as I almost bumped into her, You almost knocked over the cookies!

In her hand was a large paper plate of chocolate chip cookies, wrapped in plastic. On top was a small sheet of paper, the word Welcome scrawled on it.

We have some new neighbors, and I was just taking these cookies over to them, thought it would be nice, she said, I make some pretty good chocolate chip cookies. There are extras on the counter if you want.

Hey, Krysta, can I come with you? I asked, thinking of an excuse, One of your new neighbors is in my Algebra class, I want to formally introduce myself.

Really now, formally introduce? she said skeptically, You sure youre up for that?

Im fine, I snapped, Please?

Her suspicious look vanished, replaced with a smile, Oh alright, you can come along.

We walked out of the house, and crossed the street. Krysta knocked loudly on the door, and before her hand reached her side, the door was open. I gasped, and my legs became weak as the man in the door took a step on the porch. He was tall and pale, with jet black hair. Not only was he extremely good looking, but he was identical to the man in the dream I had the night before. He gave me a short, confused look, before inhaling deeply and turning to Krysta.

Are those chocolate chip cookies I smell? he said warmly, taking another deep breath, They smell delicious.

Thanks, I made them myself, said Krysta, giggling, her face turning red, I hope you enjoy them.

I heard a soft giggle from within the house, and Mr. Monroe nodded slowly, and took the plate of cookies from Krysta. She turned around, a euphoric look on her face, and headed back home. I remained rooted to the spot, staring at Mr. Monroe. He gazed deeply into my eyes, and a slight frown appeared on his face.

"I think it's time for you to go home," said Mr. Monroe brusquely, turning and slamming the door in my face. I stared at the door in disbelief before turning to follow Krysta home.

As I walked in the front door, the room started to spin. Sweat leaked out of my pores, and my breathing became heavy. I felt a sharp pain in the pit of my stomach, and I fell towards the wall. Using it as support, I pushed myself down the hallway. Krysta walked out of the bathroom, almost running into me.

"Hey there, you're looking kind of pale," said Krysta, concern in her tone, "Are you okay?"

A black haze started to form on the edges of my vision, and breathing became harder. I opened my mouth, my mind screaming, pleading for help, only a hiss passing through my lips. My vision blurred, and I collapsed, losing all consciousness.

I found myself in the middle of a dark room, so vast that the walls on either side of me were not visible. On a small table next to me sat a lamp, casting a soft yellow light on a large, opulent mirror, its golden frame covered with tiny angelic figures. On the top sat a large, gilded angel. I peered into the unusual mirror, and gasped. My red hair started to shorten, rushing back into my scalp, stopping at my chin. The deep red of my hair became darker, turning a dark black. My cheeks became smaller, higher set, and my body began to rapidly lose weight. My pupils expanded, obscuring my irises, as my skin turned a pasty white. A small golden necklace appeared around my neck, a crescent moon with the letter "M" in the center. I gasped, recognizing the reflection in the mirror as that of Madeline Monroe.

I stared in disbelief at the beauty looking back at me from within the mirror, with its flawless, angular features, and an unnatural stillness. I moved closer, gently touching the mirror with my delicate fingers. I felt a warm sensation on the top of my head, and touching it, realized it was some sort of liquid. I brought my fingers to my eye level, and gasped.

My awestruck gaze turned to a gaze of horror at the sight of my blood covered fingers. Suddenly blood began to pour from the eyes of the angel on the mirror starting to obscure my reflection. What was visible of the beautiful image of Madeline morphed into a large white serpent. The serpent bared its fangs, staring menacingly at me through the mirror with large, blood red eyes. I backed away in horror, and the snake struck, shattering the mirror from within. Shards of glass were sent flying at my face, ripping at my exposed flesh. I was knocked back, falling into an endless abyss. From the abyss I heard a bloodcurdling shriek, sending chills down my spine.

I snapped into reality in a small, dark room. A fast-paced beeping came from nearby, the sound of a heart monitor. I was suddenly aware of a large tube in my mouth, and of my inability to freely breathe. I moved to pull the foreign object from my throat, but my arms were restrained. Beginning to panic, I rattled the bed rails I was restrained to, until a kindly looking nurse walked in.

"Oh my, you're awake!" she said, pulling out a syringe and injecting a fluid into an IV leading to my arm, "Everything is okay, the doctor will be in sometime today to take out the breathing tube and explain everything. Just relax, let the machine breathe for you, don't resist it."

The nurse sat in a chair next to me, and took my hand. She gently caressed it, and began to hum a soft lullaby. A combination of the soothing melody and the medication had me drowsy in minutes, and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

"Alex? Alex Mason, Can you hear me?"

"Doctor, her pulse is dropping."

"Alex, Wake up!"

"Doctor, do something!"

"... Pulse is returning to normal. Do you think it could be infection?"

My eyes opened slowly, struggling to adjust to the bright light. My arms were still restrained, and a tube still went down my throat.

"Alex, everything is alright. You had some internal bleeding, and trauma from your long-term abuse lacerated your spleen. We almost lost you."

I made a moaning noise, unable to talk around the tube. The doctor nodded, and began to remove the tube.

"This may feel a bit uncomfortable," he said, gently easing the tube out of my throat, "You're lucky, we almost lost you to an infection. There, it's out."

"Do I have to stay for long?" I asked, a painful twinge in my side.

"A week or so at most, to let your body get over the infection. We're not taking any risks. But I think your sister will be happy to know you're awake. I'll go get her."

The nurse from the night before stood loyally at my side as the doctor left my room. He returned a few moments later with Laura, whose eyes were red and puffy.

"Oh Alex, you're okay!" she said joyfully, rushing to my side, "I'm so glad everything's alright. But I have some bad news. Mr. Monroe, he's dropping our case."

"What?" I exclaimed, sending a burning sensation up my side, "Why is he doing that?"

"He's moving away, to Boston I think." said Laura sadly, taking hold of my hand, "But don't you worry, we'll get through this, I promise."

My heart rate began to rise, and the nurse kindly asked Laura to leave, before injecting some more painkillers into my IV, sending me back to the peaceful realm of my dreams.

Part Two

"I can't believe we're moving again," I sighed, looking up to the moon, "Will we ever stay anywhere longer than one week?"

"Madeline, you didn't see the look on her face, you didn't feel the suspicions radiating from her mind! We can't risk exposure!" snapped Jason Monroe, packing his things in a box, "For the good of the family."

"More like for the good of the coven! Which I'm responsible for! Any normal family would settle down, and age!" I growled, "Damn that vampire, cursing me to walk the earth forever as an immortal. I cannot leave you and fend for myself, the loneliness alone would drive me mad! And even though I made you, even though you still breathe centuries later because of me, you still give the orders!"

"Well Madeline, what do you suggest we do? There's something wrong with that girl!"

"Fine! We move, but I get to choose. We're moving to Boston."

"Why, Madeline?" inquired Allan, walking down the stairs, "What's so special about Boston?"

"Allan, no," whispered Jason, looking fearfully at me, "Don't ask."

"Jason, I will kill him," I said, gritting my teeth, "I know he's there."

"How are you certain? How are you sure? What peace will we have in Boston? We could get the same effect of the city in Vegas, New York, Seattle, any other city," shouted Jason, walking to Madeline's side, "But you choose to endanger us all. Everything we've worked for!"

"We? What do you mean we?" I hissed, "I put you through law school, I made you, and I swear I can unmake you. You forget your place, Jason."

"I'm sorry madame," said Jason haughtily. He bent low in a gaudy, sarcastic bow, and laughed. He turned to pick up a box, as I crouched, balancing my weight on the balls of my feet. A low hiss passed through my lips, and I launched herself at him, my teeth sinking into the flesh around his windpipe. His cold blood flowed over my teeth, staining my white turtleneck. He screamed in pain as I pulled away, blood flowing freely from his neck before clotting a few moments later. I threw myself from his body, landing lightly on the other side of the room, not making a sound. From here I stared at him angrily.

"Never forget your place," I said, barely whispering, "Or next time you don't keep your throat."

Allan, a terrified look on his face, ran back up the stairs. I followed him, up to a large, sparsely decorated hallway. I heard his door slam as I went to mine, to get the only possession that truly mattered to me. In the middle of my empty room sat an elegant, white coffin. It's lid stood open, revealing the dark red satin interior. I sighed as i ran my hand on it's glossy surface, respecting the skill of the mortal who crafted it all those years ago. I lifted it with ease, returning to the living room, which had filled with boxes in the short amount of time.

Sam was carrying the boxes to one of the two moving trucks at a speed that would render him almost invisible to a watching mortal, one of the many advantages of being what I was. Not wanting to be seen, I ran effortlessly to the second truck, lightly setting down my coffin next to the other three. My body ached to be inside, not having slept in over two days.

"Madeline, can I ask you something?" whispered Allan, sitting in the doorway of the large moving truck, trying to appear nonchalant.

"What is it Allan?" I asked coldly, perching myself on top of my coffin.

"What's so important about Boston?" he asked timidly, looking at the ground, "Why are we moving there?"

"I will tell you my story, but only once," I said grimly, beckoning for him to sit closer, "And you mustn't repeat it to anyone, agreed?"

"Agreed," he said breathlessly, a hungry expression on his eyes as I began my story.

"It was August 20th, 1692. I was living in Salem, Massachusetts. This was during the hysteria that is now referred to as the Salem Witch Trials. Back then, it was very real, and very threatening. We were in the middle of an epidemic, and that night, I learned that the epidemic was not witches, but an unstoppable force, an immortal foe.

"One night, after watching one of the 'witches' burn at the stake, I was walking alone down the deserted road. To my left, off in the dark forest, I heard a twig snap. Quickening my pace, another twig snapped, louder this time. I broke into a run, and heard a loud snarl as a dark figure launched himself out of the trees above, landing on my shoulders. I heard my ankles snap, and I screamed out in pain as my legs buckled. I landed on my back, staring up at the human shape looming above me, holding me down by my shoulders.

"'Witch! Get thy foul hands off of me!' I screamed, waves of pain shooting through my body, 'Go back to the pit from whence you came, vile demon of hell!'

"This statement was met with a harsh laugh, as the figure leaned in towards me. It was a man, his skin was marble white, reflecting in the pale white light cast by the full moon in the sky. He stared at me hungrily with large blue eyes, which seemed to glow in the dark night. With a smirk on his face, he moved his head slowly to my neck as I screamed louder. I felt an immense pain as his teeth ripped into the flesh of my neck, and he began to draw blood. I felt the life slipping out of me from the hole in my neck, and then heard faintly in my fading consciousness the clip clopping of horse hooves. The vampire detached himself from my neck, leaving me bleeding, near death. I heard him curse as he licked my neck with his cold tongue, sealing the wound.

I felt myself being lifted, then thrown into the forest at the side of the road. My face smacked into a tree, breaking my nose. Blood flowed freely from my nose, and my vision faded. Weakened from the loss of blood, I slipped into unconsciousness, expecting to never wake again.

I awoke in the same place I had been thrown, covered in leaves. I looked around me, and gasped. Everything had been brought into sharper focus, and I felt I could really see what was around me. Despite the darkness of the night, I could spot a small bluebird nesting in a tree across the road, I could see its feathers rustle as its fast-paced breathing moved them. I looked all around me, and began to laugh like a small child. I inhaled, really able to smell the forest around me. I could smell the animals, each tree had its own scent, I could smell everything. I skipped gleefully to a patch of violets, and picked one from the group. The crisp snap of the stem was louder and clearer to me than it had ever been, and I smelled this flower like I had never smelled anything in my mortal life.

Then I realized I wasnt myself. I strayed into the middle of the road, and held my hands in front of me in the pale light of the moon. I had always been fair skinned, but this was far beyond normalcy for me. My hands seemed to glow in the moonlight, and they were marble white. That moment, the events of the previous night rushed into my head, and I realized I was injured no more. I knelt on the road, and began to sob.

Get up, we do not cry, came a harsh voice from within the forest, Have some respect for yourself woman. The man who emerged from the trees was tall, with dark brown, short hair. He wore all black, a large contrast to the white of his skin. I gasped, taking in his features, the look of his clothes, everything about him, with these new eyes. Then I felt myself fill with rage.

Im a witch! I shouted, realization dawning on me, Youve made me into a witch you foul demon! I backed away from this man, turning to run down the road. He ran past me, blocking my path. His face was contorted with rage, and his slow advance towards made him seem all the more menacing.

You are nothing! Not mortal, nor immortal. You are trapped in between, not dead, but far from alive, he growled, stopping a few feet away from me, You know not what you are, but I assure you, you are no witch. Witches are gone from this Earth, cast away by the foul deeds of you mortals. You fear what you cannot see, so you take the mystical, declare it evil, and wage war upon it. You know nothing of the world around you!

What are you? What am I? I asked, tears flowing freely down my face, Why am I still alive? I began to sob again, falling back to my knees. I let out a scream of agony, clawing at my face, my neck, willing myself to die. The man stared at me without pity, cold and emotionless. I stayed immobile on the ground for hours, crying out for death to come, but to no avail.

Death will not come. You are no longer mortal, said the man coolly, appearing to be a statue with the stillness of his body and his marble white skin, You are trapped, as am I, cursed to walk the earth for eternity.

This time, I believed him. I pulled myself back to my place at the tree, and began to dig into the soft earth, deciding that spot is where I was to stay for eternity. Within minutes I had a hole big enough for me to fit in dug out, a feat I could have never wished to attain as a human. I stared at my mud covered hands in awe, before looking back up at the man, who had not moved from his place.

What witchery is this? I said in horror, clenching my hands into fists, What have you done to me?

The man walked toward me at an alarming pace, and leaned in towards me, You are not a witch! Get it through your thick skull! he shouted, Now listen to me! You will get up and follow me, for daybreak is approaching. Your fellow mortals cannot see you in this state, or they will kill you. Now run with me, you will find you are able to keep up.

He extended his hand to me, and I grabbed it, and he picked me up out of my hole. He pointed to a place far off in the forest, and we ran, the trees whipping past. I dodged the thick trees with ease at a speed that should have blurred my vision. I saw every being, every leaf, every insect as I whipped by it at speeds I thought to be unimaginable. For the first time in my mortal life, I felt free, not knowing this freedom would be my ultimate prison.

We reached a small cave deep within the forest, which the man led me into. The interior of the cave seemed inconspicuous, save a large boulder at the far end. It was to this that the creature walked, rolling it back with little strain. Upon moving the boulder, I saw a small hole, which he motioned for me to go through. As the thought of following his orders passed through my mind, I was already moving, halfway through a tunnel. I gasped, stopping in place.

Youll gain total control soon, said the man calmly, my ears hearing him as if he were right next to me, Youre in control now, but your body moves much faster than your thoughts. As your mortality fades, you will be able to think faster, and synchronize your thoughts with your actions. I had begun to crawl again, reaching a large room lit by candles, with a wooden box sitting in the center. I realized instantly that the box was a coffin, and gasped, finally realizing what this creature was.

Vampire! I said in disgust, crossing myself and backing away. I pulled a small crucifix from my neck, and held it up to the vampire, reciting bible verses.

Put that away, you fool! I am not a child of the devil, or a spawn of demons. And neither are you, spat the vampire, an offended look on his face, We are one and the same! We have the same origins, we are both human!

You are no human! I shouted, still holding out my crucifix, looking around for a way to escape.

And neither are you!

"This statement stopped my rant, and the realization finally dawned on me. I was one of them, and I did not weaken against bible verses, nor I burn or feel pain at the touch or sight of a crucifix. I felt a great weight lifted from me, realizing I was not evil. Then another horrible realization hit me. I was dying. What was worse, I was physically aware of my death. I could feel my heart pumping slower, and the organs in the pit of my stomach felt weighted, useless.

Youve killed me! I shouted, adrenaline pumping through my veins, returning strength to my weakened heart, I did nothing to you and youve damned me to this immortal existence!

It was unintentional, I assure you, said the man through his teeth, The last thing I need for eternity is a whiny little fledgling to drag me down. Now, dawn is approaching, and you must sleep. Get inside my coffin, guest. Out of courtesy I shall sleep on the floor.

Is the coffin necessary? Am I unable to go out in the daylight? I asked nervously, many questions running through my head, Im not craving blood, when will that come?

Choose your questions wisely, for beyond this night I shall not answer them again, said the man, sitting down on the floor, The coffin is not necessary, but it is tradition. Vampires get better sleep in coffins anyway. You are able to go out in the daylight, but your skin is pale enough to stand out, and as you will be hunting in your home town area for now, it is highly inadvisable. Although your features are changing, you are still recognizable. And as for the blood, you will take a full month to become a true vampire. You were actually unconscious for a full week as your physical features changed, and your body repaired itself. If you were to look in a mirror you would notice that the only wounds left are the two puncture wounds at the base of your neck, which will disappear as the month comes to a close. In a week or so you will gain your lust for blood, and in the last two weeks your body will slowly adjust to being a vampire.

Why are you telling me all this now? And how do you expect me to remember? I asked, surprised I had taken in all this information.

You will remember everything you have ever heard, ever seen, as vividly as if it had happened yesterday, said the man in an annoyed tone, And I am telling you because it is important for you to learn early on. While hunting, be sure to drain no one of importance, no children, try for drifters. Drain them fully, do you understand? I may leave for a few days, or weeks, so Im letting you know. If I do leave, I want you to continue living in this residence until I return for you.

Youre leaving me now?! I asked angrily, This is when I need you most! Why would you do this?

It is not my choice, snapped the man, getting to his feet, Now sleep well!

With that statement he lifted me from the ground next to him, placing me in his coffin. He slammed the lid over me, and in an instant I began to feel an immense fatigue. Unable to keep myself awake, I drifted slowly to sleep.

The next morning, I awoke with a start from an empty, dreamless sleep. I was disheartened to realize that we did not have dreams, for I remember as a mortal I had the most vivid dreams Anyway, I went to push up the lid of the coffin, which did not budge. I called out to the vampire who kept me there, with no response. I shook from left to right, hearing the scraping of metal on rock. I heard a low grunt and a scrape of metal on wood, as my body was thrown forward, the coffin being lifted. For a few minutes I heard the sounds of nature, the soft crunching of leaves as the man carried me. I pounded the coffin harder, praying the wood would fracture.

Pounding is useless, I heard the man whisper, the sounds of the forest disappearing, replaced by the sounds of the beach, And no one will hear you scream.

By this time I had realized what he intended to do with me, and I pounded harder. He laughed, and I jerked suddenly as he threw me, and heard the splash of water as my coffin hit the waves. A thick scent of salt and dead fish reached my nostrils, and I realized I had been thrown into the harbor. I felt my back dampen as small holes in the bottom of my new tomb allowed sea water in. I whimpered as I accepted my fate, and the sea rushed in. I held my breath for what seemed like ages as the water slowly leaked in, realizing I no longer needed oxygen. Over the night my heart had stopped, so I no longer needed to breathe to live. The water finally filled the small space, and I felt the coffin settle into the sand at the bottom.

I could hear the ocean life all around me, the fish swimming by contentedly, the crabs crawling slowly over me, and so it went on for days. I slept in the water, and during days tried in vain to pound my way out. Then came a distraction, a noise distinct from the sounds of the sea. It was a very fast paced, even swishing noise, which sounded more human than fish. I realized that it must have been the man, and I filled with rage and prepared myself to fight once free. I felt myself being moved, the pressure of the sea lessening on my body. I could hear the sound of ships, and gulls. I heard the coffin emerge from the water, and I jerked as my coffin hit the beach.

Speak your name, spoke a woman brusquely in an unfamiliar accent, pulling at the chains, Ill have you out in a minute.

Madeline Monroe maam, I finally sputtered as the water cleared away. I inhaled deeply for the first time in almost a week, the overwhelming joy of that first night filling my heart again.

What are you doing in the water, and why are you so important to me? she asked with the same unfamiliar accent. This statement confused me, as I had no idea that I was important in any way, especially to this stranger.

What do you mean important? I dont even know where I am! I said exasperatedly, not recognizing any of the scents or sounds from home, Is this Boston?

You come from Boston? Thats miles up the coast. The gods must have brought you to me, she exclaimed, finally removing the chains, opening the lid to the coffin. I sat up and stretched, feeling like I had been confined much longer than a week.

The gods? Theres only one God, maam, and thats the Christian God, I said promptly, offended by her statement, What blasphemy is this?

Wait, she said, a sudden realization dawning on her, You havent been told? Boston, hmm, your creator, what were his features?

Brown hair, and stunning blue eyes, I said cautiously, seating myself on the sandy beach, Do you know him?

Marcus! That damned fool, how dare he break the law, a man of such high stature! the woman fumed, When The Holy Mother hears of this!

The Holy Mother? I asked, confused, Who is that?

Not even the history of our people! she shouted, her face contorted in rage, Not even present for the first hunt!

Who is this Holy Mother? I screamed at the top of my lungs, standing up, Why cant I get answers from anyone? Why?

Im so sorry dear, but I cannot tell you anything, not yet. Your master has deserted you, and you must go before council, for judgment, she sighed, staring out at the stars, The vampire council is a coalition of the most powerful vampires from the entire world, lead by our creator, The Holy Mother. The one chosen by the marble serpent in Eden. But that is a story for another night, dawn is in but two hours, and we need to get you a coffin.

A coffin is a hard thing to make, it takes days, if not weeks! I snapped, Where do you suppose well get one in 2 hours?

The dead always provide, my dear.

*le bump* :B

I only had time to read about half of it, but its really good :

thank you! I really enjoy writing this story, and I'm glad that I can at least capture the mind of one reader.

It seems a bit odd that the only reference to the pain that one would feel after being punched so hard that they were thrown backward, breaking a mirror, was "wincing as I sat down" (by the way you forgot to capitalize the "I" in that sentence). The plot feels a bit rushed too.

Other than that, pretty good.

Definatly one of the better pieces I have read in quite some time. Although I must admit, it certainly reminded me of the Twilight series. I would like to hear more from you! Personally I am working on a short story, untitled as of now, that has to do with teen vampires. I read the Twilight series not too long ago and was inspired to return to the world of creative literature : . I hope I can hear more from you soon!

Unbearably Long but a good read.

7 out of 10.

Definatly one of the better pieces I have read in quite some time. Although I must admit, it certainly reminded me of the Twilight series. I would like to hear more from you! Personally I am working on a short story, untitled as of now, that has to do with teen vampires. I read the Twilight series not too long ago and was inspired to return to the world of creative literature : . I hope I can hear more from you soon!

Twilight?! SICK D:

Rest assured, i have no intentions of making this a sappy love story about a vapid moronic girl who falls completely and totally in love with a century old man who likes to watch her while she sleeps, who sparkles in the sunlight... Never ;____;

If you want a truly decent vampire series, i recommend the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice.

Hmm, I've had a big chunk written for a while... I should put it up. xD

Still need a naaame.

She stood up, dusting herself off, and beckoned to me, a gleam in her eye. She bolted off at a tremendous speed, and I ran after her, only barely keeping up. I glanced at my legs in wonder, pumping back and forth effortlessly as if no forces of the earth acted to restrict them. Suddenly, I went flying to the ground. My throat began to burn with the intensity of a white hot fire. I clutched at my throat, screaming in pain. I struggled to my feet, and attempted to run on. My energy sapped, I ran at a speed just over that of normal humans. I let out a loud shriek, before collapsing back to the ground, writhing in pain.

The thirst! groaned the woman fearfully, bolting to my side, Madeline, stop your screaming, control yourself. The first craving for blood is one hundred times stronger than any craving you will ever experience, lest you go weeks without sustenance.

Her words soothed me as she stroked my hair, singing softly in an unknown language. I strained to look around, noting we were in a farm yard. I pointed weakly in the direction of a barn, and moaned. The woman shook her head, and the pain intensified.

I dont have the permission to supply you with your first mortal blood, be it animal or human, she sighed sadly, still stroking my hair, But tonight I will summon the members of the council to grant me this gift. They will start off in the early hours of twilight tomorrow, and arrive by midnight. Hush love, your suffering will lessen with the dawn.

It was then that she left me, leaving me laying powerless in the field, my neck on fire. It seemed like an eternity before she returned to me, lifting my limp body. As she ran, the countryside whipped by as my vision became less focused, my hearing less sensitive. We arrived in a small church graveyard, where a fresh hole lay waiting. A rotting skeleton lay by the hole, evicted from its eternal home. I stared forlornly at the skeleton as I was placed in the coffin, the lid placed over me. Suddenly I became overwhelmingly drowsy, and I slipped into another dreamless sleep.

It was dark, the air in the coffin stale. I pushed on the lid above me, staring once again at the desecrated mortals bones. I pulled myself weakly out of the hole, the burn of the thirst not so intense, and saw the woman, sitting statue still on the grass in front of me. Her legs were crossed, and she had a look of deep concentration on her face. After a minute, she looked up at me.

What were you just doing? I asked groggily, When will the council be here?

I was calling to our maker, said the woman, When you grow older youll find that youll have a clear mental communication with her.

Her? Who is she? I asked, my throat still burning.

All in good time, love. They are coming, they will judge you here, said the woman calmly, Do you have any questions of me before their arrival?

What is your name?

Name, she said thoughtfully, I havent needed that in almost a century. My name is Elise.

Elise, when will they arrive? I asked, as the fire in my throat rekindled, What will this judgment be?

They will be here much faster than I thought, she said calmly, still sitting on the ground, Within minutes Id assume. Their judgment is whether or not you are worthy of the Eternal Blood.

Even as she said this, I felt a distant rumbling, feet pounding the Earth. It was the council. The rumbling stopped, and a thin mist appeared in the graveyard, to which Elise scoffed, mumbling something about theatrics. She pointed to the far off woods, where shadows shifted around in the mist. Elise stood, holding her arms out, palms facing towards the sky. I did the same, as the black figures started to move. Halfway across the large grassy expanse, the figure at the front of the group dropped a black shroud, revealing a bright light.

I shielded my eyes against this wonder, as a tall woman with platinum blond hair, and a wispy white dress loped gracefully across the field. The other figures followed suit, dropping black cloaks, revealing a beauty that paled in comparison to their leader. They stopped at the edge of the cemetery, staring at our outstretched palms. In a split second, the beautiful woman materialized a few feet in front of us. Elise went to her knees, palms remaining up, and I did the same. This woman vampire, the leader, looked to be an angel. Her stance had the eerie statuesque stillness of our kind, and marble skin seemed to radiate a faint white light. Though there was no wind, her long blond hair waved lightly as if caught by a breeze.

Holy Mother, whispered Elise in reverence, I present to thee Madeline Monroe, abandoned fledgling.

Faithful servant, you have done well to contact me, said the beautiful figure, her voice like a choir of angels holding my awestruck attention, Tell me, how did this union come to pass? How is it that a lone fledgling has come into your midst, my child?

By this time the rest of the council had crowded around the Holy Mother, and I felt a strange presence. I peeked up, and gasped. Standing among the council was Marcus, shifting uneasily among his counterparts. I gasped, and the Holy Mother turned to me, her blood red eyes locking into mine.

What is it, daughter? she asked in the same angelic voice, What frightens you?

Marcus! hissed Elise, spotting him within the crowd, How dare you show your face here foul demon!

Hold your tongue! said the Mother harshly, her gaze striking fear into my heart, What makes you speak ill of my own council in my presence?

My apologies, Holy Mother, said Elise fearfully, But the vampire Marcus is responsible for the lost fledgling. He took her in Salem, failing to fully drain her. Unknowing of our history, our laws, she was bound in his coffin, tossed in the sea. A week later I was given a dream, a dream of finding a lost one in the ocean. I went to her, and here we stand, the pain of the thirst driving her mad! I beg your permission to become a surrogate master, Holy Mother.

Marcus stepped toward us defiantly, stepping in front of the Holy Mother. A low hiss came from deep within her, and she glared at Marcus, intense hatred pouring from every pore. He was forced behind her against his will, and forced to his knees.

Dearest Marcus, one of my most faithful servants! spat the Mother coldly, looking down on him, Are these accusations true? Did you create the fledgling? You dare not lie to me, Marcus. You know the law.

I know nothing of this fledgling, Mother, said Marcus through his teeth, glaring at me, Elise seeks to besmirch my reputation, they are the ones who truly lie! Kill the blasphemers, breakers of the law! Throw them into the fires of hell where they belong, my queen. Destroy them!

Silence! You dare lie to my face, Marcus? It is you who belong in the fires of hell, damned to eternal suffering, growled the Mother, pointing at Marcus, It was you who created this girl, deserted her before the first drink. You knowingly broke my laws, Marcus. Your punishment shall come on swift wings.

This declaration sent a buzz of whispers through the council. I looked over at Elise, who looked at Marcus with reproach in her eyes. The Holy Mother turned to me, and closed the gap between us. I stared up at her beautiful figure in awe, and she held her hand out toward me. I placed my hand lightly in hers, and I was pulled to my feet to the bewildered looks of her council.

A little Twilight-esque, but at least 5x better. :P

The plot does seem rushed, but everything else is very nice. Thanks for the good read :thumbup:

I don't see what's so twilight-esque about it... Please share. o.O