Well, prior to the girl meeting incident, you seem a good, level headed and, above all, emotionally stable young man. A lot of the times on these forums people post for girl advice and they are clearly neither mature nor ready enough for a relationship. You sound like you could be, so that's a plus. :) Don't feel stupid about posting this. You probably needed a place to vent your mixed feelings and posting on a forum is comparatively safe. I mean, the worst thing that can happen here is a few flames and then a locking, which is nothing compared to real life outcomes. What do you wish to know, what to do about this girl or what you think is wrong with you? The two may well be related but it would help if we knew your true agenda first. Most people here a good people to take advice on, but remember, advice is all we can give and can only level what your instinct tells you. Trust yourself in the decision you eventually make and go for it 100%.