RpgGamer

Furah, Sounds like how I felt at my friends funeral last May. Except I got a little drunk the night before the funeral and cried for like 3 hours. I dont think I had the hydration left to cry during the service. It was also open casket which freaked me out. And everyone kept saying "its okay" like anything about a beautiful 21 year old girl killing herself is [bleep]ing okay. But yeah. Grief is weird.

I've talked about losing my job a lot when it first happened. Technically, financially I'll be absolutely fine. I've saved somewhere near $13,000 over the past 4 years. Unemployment is supposed to come through any day now for an additional $190/week. I can ride that train until it maxes out around $4,900. But I wanted to go to grad school in September. And that's easily $15,000/semester. I don't feel like I can yet. I also wanted to move out, which seems foolish before getting a "real" job. Mentally? I was a manager at work. I had full control over nearly 50 people, I made my own hours and I loved who I worked with. But when I wake let go, I felt free. I compared it to being dumped by an abusive girlfriend. Its sad to be dumped, but hey - look how much better you are for it kinda deal. And I was excited to have all of this time to myself, but now I find myself wasting this time not making money and not going out, but instead just waiting for better things to come.

Winter depressions' been hitting me pretty hard the past few weeks. Im not real comfortable talking about it to most folk I know in day to day life because i dont want it to be misconstrued with pre-valentines loneliness. Plus it looks weird to be so out of funk right before your birthday. So I figured I'd come here with my issues. In the past two weeks alone, I've only left my bed about a handful of times. I've gone out a couple times with friends, and its fun, but having lost my job last month, I feel constricted. Financially. I thought with all this time I could finally enjoy the facets of life my job kept me from. And yes I get to go out on weekends now, but I have little funding, and I'm riddled with guilt for not having "earned" a night out. I've drank maybe 7 or 8 times since new years. Which is an insane drop from last summer where I was drunk just about everyday. While that sounds like an improvement, it actually tells me one of two things: I've not been happy for a long time and I was just too drunk to notice, OR I only actually enjoy being social/drinking/partying when I'm not a miserable lump on my bed. I've been going to the gym with my one friend about once a week for a bit now. But it only reminds me of how in shape and awesome I used to feel back when i played League Soccer. I feel like the bane of my existence is simply distracting myself from how bad I feel about my life. Endless tv, excess porn, binge video game sprees, heavy drinking, and occasionally getting bonkers high. It all just removes me from the life in front of me. My mission has always been to be happy. It seems successful until winter comes and these feelings of doubt seed themselves in the forefront of my daily thinking. Does one season a year truly devalue/invalidate 8 otherwise successful months of being content? And why does February always accompany me with such pitiful and undesirable levels of self esteem?

I would lol so hard if I got a letter accusing me of being a dealer

Disappointment comes from expectation

Except for the bug that makes your game crash if you hop in the same gunner seat of any vehicle twice in a row. Or the frame drop when there's more than 2 incendiary grenades going off. I'm still losing connection to servers constantly, but I'd say half the time its due to being put in a low connection server. The other half is still battlefield nonsense.

Have you ever had Pina Colada? I personally prefer Penis Alotta.

Taken near new year, but idgaf cause I haven't posted in this thread in like 10 months regardless

I don't know if any of you filthy casuals watch Rick and Morty but y'all better start if you don't.

I didn't ever get the chance to draft Theroes :(

"Afraid" doesn't do justice to its nomenclature in this instance, but I see where Ring is going with this. I'm also an advocate of pure honesty for better or worse. It makes me feel happier doing so. Sharing my feelings, relating to people on a deeper level than exaggerations and white lies could allow. While it's totally okay to filter things and keep things to yourself, some of my best friendships have been created by being obnoxiously openly honest with each other. Does this apply to relationships as well? I suppose that delves into the fundamental differences between friendship and romantic partnership.

A lot of me wants to buy that, but the game play itself doesn't really appeal to me.

I feel like a lot of the phrases on this page work under the assumption that all girls are similar

I feel like a lot of the phrases on this page work under the assumption that all girls are similar

Next console patch is next week, but I play maybe for an hour before the server crashes. Consistently

More like Brokenfield4 amirite

I have Ted Mosby as a professor for Psychology of the Cosmos. The first class was spent talking of his wonder of being the first to ever know the knowledge that he is researching, being the first to experience the numbers as he found them. He was also wearing a Chicago University sweatshirt and admires Walt Whitman. Today he uploaded his Syllabus as "Silly Bus". He even looks like classic Shmosby. I'll try to sneak a picture next lecture I have with him. He's too awesome. And a living Ted Mosby. Oh, and today I went to the unemployment office. Or at least I thought I did. The address they gave me was to a liquor store in Camden. Not a pretty place. I eventually found the office, a mile down the road tucked in an industrial corner of nothing. Then the line was so long that the helpdesk shut down before I could be "assisted". I hate establishment. And driving. Especially in Camden.

Well...its been 2 days ish and the only confrontation my dad gave me was about being late with my phone bill. So...crisis averted. I think.

And If you get along with most everyone, start looking for someone you can talk to like us. Even if it's a female friend and not a girlfriend. Ignore gender. Ignore your desire for sex. Just find someone to connect with on a deeper level than you've done before. Its actually quite refreshing.

We DID tell you a year ago to destroy all of that...And I'm really hoping i listened haha

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2014/01/how-to-hack-okcupid/ Fascinating

He went to bed like 10 minutes after I went to my room. I just woke up, I'm scared to leave my bed haha

My dad's going through a hard drive he found from 2007 file by file out of boredom. I'm 99.99% sure it has a HUGE collection of my old porn on it. [bleep]. I literally just went to bed and now I'm hiding under the covers on tumblr praying he gets bored of purging files one by one before he hits my collection. If its still on there. Which I'm almost certain it is. [bleep]. Theres likely videos of me and my ex in there too. Shiiiiiiit