Harakiri

But yeah it wasn't better than the originals because they can't really be compared, one is about people having a laugh and the other is about people being serouis...it wasn't a let down, so yeah you can write a serouisly and you can write funnierly. Funnierly? Well, i thought it was better to be serious. I think this will turn out to rock.

Chapter 1:pkerforlife VS. AJ (The first battle) The streets of Varrock were crowded as people rushed to get to the castles courtyard. People from all over Runescape were in awe of the new event. It was commissioned by the heroes guild to see who the best fighter in Runescape is. People crowded into the castle to get seats at the top of the it. Two guards were up there to prevent violence over getting a seat. The top of the walls that guarded the castle were open only to important people. Many guards were up there as well as the king and select members of the heroes guild. In the castles dining room, the chef was putting out a wonderful feast for the participants of the fight, who were sitting in wooden seats around the marble table. Two people were cussing each other out and guards were trying to break up what would have been imminent fight. All the participants raised their beer mugs and banged them together. Shouts of "May the best man win" were the only words Snake could hear for a while. Eventually they stopped as people crammed food into their mouths. Snake ate slowly, eying every one of the people at the table. Some stared back at him. Others smiled. Some even flipped him the bird. After the meal the participants went into the entryway and had conversations with each other. Soon enough, Snake was pleased to hear the trumpets of the guards, signaling the king was about to speak. Two guards outside opened the door and the participants lined up on the stairs and watched as the king took a knife and cut a banner that was tied to the wall. It revealed the first round matches. Civilians who surrounded the ring wrote the fights down on scrap pieces of paper they had in their pockets. The participants on the stairs scanned for there name and then the people who were going to fight would give each other an ice cold stare. They would then stand at attention as the king waved his hand for silence. "Some may think that the 3 way matches are not fair. But these were selected for reasons only I will ever know. Maybe i will tell you. Anyway there is no way to convince me to change matches. If any participants decide to have a street fight and are caught, they will be kicked out of the tournament. These are illegal and could result in hard labor or prison time. I will now let you see the first match. Pkerforlife, step up." A guy wearing only monks robes walked to the ring and entered. He then turned, waiting to hear who his opponet would be. "AJ please step into the ring." With a granite shield and a dragon battle ax, it looked like the battle was already won. "These rules apply in the arena. No prayer. No food. If you get out of the ring you automatically lose. It is a fight to the death. You can spare the life of the person you are fighting. It is solely up to you. The one last rule is, no help from anyone in the ring. If you die and one of your friends decide to street fight the killer, it must be approved by me. It will then be set up at an appropriate time and place. Now then, I won't keep you any longer. FIGHT!" The king yelled this at the top of his lungs and AJ ran at Pker. Pker ducked down and tripped AJ. Aj fell and Pker kicked his face. Aj's nose had a trickle of blood run out of it. AJ swung at Pker's legs and Pker jumped, avoiding the blow. Then, AJ took out a rune knife and hurled it at Pker. It hit him square in the stomach. Pker clutched his stomach and dropped to his knees. AJ got up and walked over to Pker. Pker pulled the knife out of his stomach and jammed it into AJ's knee joint. AJ screamed. It was a terrible high pitched scream that rang through Varrock. PKer ran at AJ and AJ put out his hand, palm open, facing Pker. Pker ran into it and Aj clutched Pker's neck firmly. He tightened and tightened his grip until a snap could be heard. AJ won. A medical team grabbed Pker's body and took it to behind the west bank. There, they buried it. No coffin. Just the body. They then saw a man with a gravestone walk to them. The man placed the gravestone into the ground and walked off. How the hell did he know and make a gravestone so fast? wondered a medic. Meanwhile at the castle the medics were lifting AJ onto a stretcher and brought him into the castle. The crowds screamed. They loved that battle. A guard tried to scrub the blood out of the ring but could not. He gave up. The King wondered why it did not scrub away. Oh well. He stood again and yelled, "It seems that we have to get to bed. It is late and we do not want the shades to get us, do we? Anyway that was but a taste of the fights that will be happening tomorrow. 10 o' clock sharp. Goodnight." People walked off to their inns and homes while the king, his knights, and the fighters were herded back to the castle. "It is time for a small challenge. I will give you these sometimes. I want to see you sleep outside. No tents and no other necessary supplies. I will open the doors of the castle to you at 7 in the morning tomorrow. We will see if the shades get you. So goodnight." They were walked out of the castle and into the courtyard. They were then brought to the fountain where they were told this area would be there beds. Snake took out his lava staff and used a small fire spell to warm up the area he was sleeping in. He then lay down and watched as two figures appeared peering around the corner of the general store. The one was staring directly at him. Snake pulled out his sword and prepared to get up but was frozen by a cold sensation... To be continued My best writing I would say. This will be a more serious take on the Snake and Noob saga. I hope you enjoyed. I enjoyed figuring out that i can write really well. More chapters will be posted. Well, actually a lot considering It is a fighting tournament with a lot of people entered. Till next chapter

woot...we got to page 5!

i need people to give me there characters soul and enter it in the biggest castle wars story of all time. Give me your characters bio and i will enter him for a chance to win the pride that some guy who randomly picked a winner out of hat let your character win! IT is time for the 6:02 news i am ratchet and i am Snake And i am noob...defender of all that is right and i am archimage... And i am ratchet and i wanna test you Archimage Bring it What makes me happy? The violence of these stories And... Making the good guys die in stories... And... giving away the plot of the next story? Do you know who will die next story? noob, yay...your good thats all for tonight folks...join us tomorrow when noob talks about what heaven is like.

i want more normal bios of people for street fights. This is gonna rock and hopefully you'll like the neverending violence

Noobs. The main source of evil in Runescape. They come as macroers and little children. Today is the day that we begin to delve into that which is unknown. Today we enter, a noobs mind. August seventeenth 2006. A noob names cryfet5 took his first look at lumbridge. Thinking he could get some free stuff since he was a noob he began yelling "Please give free stuff to a poor noob." Nobody answered. Let us delve into his mind. I need some free stuff. I am just a beginner! Come oon! You Damn level 126 noobs! If your so rich why don't you give me free money. All I have i 25 gold pieces. I need more! Was that not scary? Would you like to hear the ending? Someone told him that you could get free stuff from the tutors. That noob was highly embarassed. Have you ever wondered what noobs in the past thought? The original nomads? Well, thanks to our huge memory base we can see the beginning of Runescape and what happened. December first 2001. The game just started and a nomad saw a stray cow walking around in a pasture. The noob looked down and saw its utters. Boy was this nomad thirsty. He remembered being a baby... Enough said. Let us not delve into his mind for it is full of thoughts that would make the strongest of heart puke. Let us instead delve into the mind of this macroer:Asdtryuids45865. While chopping yews we asked what it was like to be a computer. The macroer did not respond. Thinking it had a virus we walked off. The next day we went into its mind: 0010101010101110101101101101010100101010100101110101001010101 0101010101010110110100110010011011101010101010011001100101100 010101000010111110010101012... Once the two showed up, this is what the macroer thought: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Amazing. The two meant that the computer must have gotten a virus and could not compute. That will be enough of this for today. Tomorrow: Castle wars, it may be fun but what is up with the annoying high levels. True accounts of Ratchet573's that will tell you about the idiots who play castle wars. Till tomorrow people.

wierd

thank god. i have time to tell you another tale of Noob and Snake. This one will hopefully be worth that like one week wait. RANGING AND MAGIC TRY NUMBER 1 Snake took Noob to a location far away from known civilization,the wilderness. Noob was carrying a very heavy piece of wood with a piece of paper stuck to it. The paper was colored by Noob to look like a bullseye. Snake stopped in the level 36 wild and let Noob set the wood into the muddy ground. The wood stuck in and Snake handed Noob a bow and some bronze arrows. Noob put the arrows in the ground and kept one in his hand. He prepared to shoot when a PKer showed up and killed him. (Snake killed this guy and the guy kept calling him a noob with no life. Snake eventually told Archimage to test him and see how stupid he was. Of course, he didn't pass and was blown to bits a nd erased from the games memory.) TRY 2 Noob took the bow and arrows and shot. He missed. Suddenly, evil Bob appeared and took him to his island. Noob thought it was his own personal island paradise. Then he found out he could not catch the fish in the water because they were cooked and he had to grab them from the water. Then, he found out he was a cats minion and thought that was cool. Then he found out Snake did not like him by Bob and drowned himself in the water. More tries later on but right now, it is time for a fighting tournament! Here is who's fighting who: pkerforlife VS. A.J Snake VS. arrowbld dragonbait VS. Ash Angelus VS. guthan guys Grumpy Mod VS. Mutant Autoer Cronic Lier VS. Forth god Bluejayfan(Noob police guy) VS. Archimage Aquans The Generic Innkeeper VS. Spider Cow Archimages Bother VS. The cult of orange vegies ETC. The Master VS. Xarosen Zhunger VS. Plunger _____________________________________________________________ Another God VS. Generic Super Villain VS. The generic generic A special 3 way fight _____________________________________________________________ Da Mage02 VS. yapyap And of course...the three way main event: NOOB VS. ARCHOMAGE VS. POWERENT Prepare for action tomorrow.

new chapters soon...i got a lot going on and i will c what i can think of for new chapters. I wanna c what the fan can write. Write spinoffs or something. Powerent should write about his guy and it can be included in the saga of Noob Snake and there friends. Archimage should also write some stories about his character.

post here if u want to enter

starting a clan for barbarian assault. Me and my friend are in it. I'm a level 62 and hes a level 107. He will be leader and the highest two people in combat levels will be attackers. The group will pick out other jobs in barbarian assault.

try and make that a comic Archimage

NEVER! No i won't do any more of the quest for a while, I want to go back to Noob and Snake working on skills. So thats what I am doing today! MINING Snake took Noob to the mining location south of Varrock. He handed Noob a bronze pickax and told him to inspect the rocks. "Hmm, that mugger over there must be crapping on this rock cuz it smells like crap and looks all black." "O.K...lets try that one." Snake pointed at another rock. "Hmm, this one smells like pee. This must be where the mugger pees...Oh crap I stepped in it and all I'm wearing are socks on my feet!" "Ohh, tough luck...Oh crap i stepped in the crap in my new boots!" "HA HA!" "Shut the hell up and inspect this one!" "Hmm, looks like clay!" "Good now mine it!" Noob started mining it and it began smoking. "Stop mining Noob!" yelled Snake. Noob kept going until the rock exploded and Noobs pickax blew up. "Thankfully, I brought spares." said Snake. Noob tried again, this time the head of his pickax flew off and implanted itself on the back of the muggers head. When the mugger turned around and looked at Noob he opened his mouth and the tip of the pickax was poking out from the back. Blood gushed out of his mouth like a waterfall. "Last try!" said Snake. "O.k" said Noob and he tried again. This time a rock golem appeared and killed Noob. "Yay, noobs dead! That must mean its the end! I need a break from the authors crappy stories. At least I don't get hurt in them." Suddenly his name was erased from the title and Snake disappeared. A voice from the heavens yelled "I heard that! I am you creator, your god. I am THE AUTHOR! Fear me for i can make you a homeless loser, i can make the makeover mage appear and make you a transsexual... i can even create a crappy storyline about Noob getting laid and Snake getting killed for being a witch. I GOT THE POWA!" THE END?

i thought those were good. I mean the characters looked pretty good (Not what i invisioned but hell it still is funny).

More of the search for the holy grail and the hand grenade! CHAPTER 4:MCGRUBER'S WOODS Snake and Noob walked through the woods very slowly, for they needed rest. Unknown to them,a Black Knight and a White Knight were fighting fiercely very close to them. Snake and Noob entered a clearing where they watched the knight's clash. "I bet you two gold that the White Knight will win."Whispered Noob to Snake. The White Knight was kicked into a tree. Implanted in the tree was an ax. The White Knight took it and ran at the Black Knight. The Black Knight threw his sword into the White Knights face. It sliced through and blood spurted everywhere."You owe me two gold."Whispered Snake to Noob. "Damn, my life savings." The White Knight fell and the Black Knight puled his sword out of his head. Snake walked up to the Black Knight. "You have proven yourself worthy to join me in my quest for the Holy Hand Grenade and the Holy Grail. Come with us or let us pass." Snake said. "None shall pass!" The Black Knight lunged at Snake with his sword. Snake back-stepped and sheathed his sword. He blocked the Black Knights attacks and knocked the knight in the helmet with his sword. The clang stunned the knight and Snake cut off the knights left arm. Blood spattered out of the wound. "Now step aside." said Snake. "This is but a scratch, I will kill you without it!" "But i just cut off your arm!" "So?" The knight ran at Snake with his sword in front of him, like a bull in a bull fighting game. Snake side-stepped and cut off the knights other arm. It shot blood all over Snake. "Watch where you point that thing!" Yelled Snake while he shielded his face from the blood. Once the knight stopped bleeding, Snake said "I have won this battle. Now step aside!" "Never! This is nothing but a flesh wound, watch me kill you!" "But you don't have any arms!" "Oh,really?" "What are those limp things on the ground?" "I dunno." The knight ran at Snake and kicked him where no man wants to be kicked. Snake fell. The knight continued to kick him in the gut. Snake got up. "I won the battle you bastard! Let me and my companion pass!" "Are you chicken? Bwuk Bwuk Bwuk." "Oh thats it!" Snake cut the knights right leg off. It gushed blood all over the soil. The knight hopped on one leg and continued to ram into Snake. Snake cut off his last leg. The knight fell to the ground. Snake called Noob forward and they continued through the forest. "Running away? The Black Knights always triumph!" Said the knight who was standing on the stumps he had left for legs. CHAPTER 5: EDGEVILLE The people ran through the town carrying a woman. "A WITCH!" They yelled. "We shall drown her!" Called there leader. Snake and Noob saw them doing this. They ran to the front of the crowd. "You seem like a good leader. Would you like to be our companion on the search for the Holy Grail and the Holy Hand Grenade? Asked Snake to their leader. "I would be honored. My name is Powerent." "Good. Follow us." "No, let me see the witch die!" "Yes let us kill this woman wearing a carrot on her nose and painted green." Said Snake. "Well this town is very boring you know. All we have is the Wild so why not kill a few innocent women wearing carrots on their noses and painted green?" The villagers threw her into the river. She shot some kinda fire spell at them. Two people died. "Oh, she really is a witch,that would be a first!" said Powerent as he watched her teleport."Well I better leave or my life will be in danger." "On to Camelot!" CHAPTER 6:CAMELOT "Camelot." Said Snake. "Camelot." Said Noob. "Camelot." Said Powerent. "Camelot." said some random guy standing next to the companions. "Get the hell out of this story!" Yelled Snake. "Let us enter the castle!" Said Powerent. When they opened the door to the castle, they heard singing: "We're Knights of the Round Table We are fully unable Of doing things for the king and hooking up cable We really suck and that is why We poked out Sir Lancelot's eyes" "I'm blind!" Yelled another voice. Snake looked inside the room with the round table in it. Everyone was dancing and singing. Sir Lancelot was running into the wall and King Arthur was clapping to the song. "We're Knights of the Round Table We're seen on cable doing petty things for our loser king We're really quite unstable Thats why we became Knights of the Round Table" Snake watched them dance pathetically. "Boy we are unable Man,we are unstable We are little lads Who really sad Cuz, we are really bad At our crappy jobs as Knights of the Round Table." More dancing, this time Snake ran to his companions. "We are not gonna find anyone here good enough for this job. Lets get the hell outta here!"

I was not trying to steal the ideas but put them into my own type of story. I will tell you that i have taken the knights of the round table song and rewrote it into my own song.

The quest for the Holy Hand Grenade and the Holy Grail begins tonight. This whole thing uses events and stuff like that from the Greatest Monty Python movie. SNAKE AND NOOB AND THE SEARCH FOR THE HOLY HAND GRENADES AND THE HOLY GRAIL CHAPTER 1:ARDOUGNE Snake and Noob walked to the top of a hill. From it, they could see Ardougne. Ardougne had a magnificent castle, surrounded by a moat. Snake and Noob stared at it. They then entered the city and crossed the bridge over the moat to the castle. They were stopped by a man on top of the castle. "Halt, who goes there?" He asked. "It is I, Snake, son of Zamorak and this is my companion Noob, son of a bit.." Snake was cut off. "Bitter drunk!" Butted in Noob. "State your business!" Said the guy at the top of the castle. "We are searching for companions to join us on a quest for the Holy Hand Grenade, so we can use it to find the Holy Grail." "There is no such thing!" said the man. "Ohh yes there is. It is real." Replied another man who appeared beside the guy on top of the castle. "Is not" "Is too" "Is not "Is too" Snake and Noob walked around the castle and entered West Ardougne. CHAPTER 2: WEST ARDOUGNE A cart was being pulled through a narrow, gravel road. Dead bodies were piled on it. "Bring out your dead." Yelled an old man. He was pushing the cart. People were carrying dead bodies and piling them onto the cart. Some woman had a cat in her hands and was smashing it against a wall. "I NEED FOOD!"She yelled. Once the cat was limp,she walked into a small shack and closed the door. A guy carrying an old man walked up to the cart. The old guy was screaming. "My dad cannot shut up and I want him gone!" The guy said. "It's against regulations to put a live person on this cart." The man snapped his dad's neck and threw him onto the cart. Suddenly, Snake and Noob walked through the city. "Damn showoffs. So what if we're poor you showoffs? Look we can kill our dad's and get away with it!" Said the guy who killed his dad. "I can't move my head to the right!" said his dad from the cart. "I'm gonna get your brother from the rich lands to kill you!" "Sorry sir, can't take live ones." The cart guy put the old guy over the guys shoulder. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I HATE YOU DAD!!!!!!!!!" "Son, I hate your [wagon] more than your mother and thats saying something." CHAPTER 3: DIGSITE Snake and Noob were outside Varrock. They found some people working in a digsite. "Ma'am?" Snake asked a person pulling a cart full of rocks. "I'm a man." "Ohh sorry. What is in that castle up there?" Snake pointed at Varrock castle. "A king and his loyal knights." "Which king may i ask good sir?" "The one in the beautiful picture in the castle?" "Who resides in that castle?" Asked Snake again. "No one." "No one?" "No one." "No one!" "No one. It's just there for decoration." "Screw you! Screw all you peasants!" "We may be poor but at least we work harder than you!" "Thats what they all say, and its not true! Now then Noob, let us go sit and watch these peasants work." TOMORROW: CHAPTERS 4-6

SNAKE AND NOOBS ADVENTURES THROUGH RUNESCAPE STORY 6:THE MASTER Noob was alone outside a bar where Snake was drinking. Noob saw a chick that was level 121. He thought she was hot and went up to her. "Hi baby." "Noob" she said. "You know my name? Oh my god." Noob hugged her. "Whats thats poking at me?" "Oh nothing." Noob was pushed off of her by Snake. "Master?I never thought i would see you again!" "Oh Snake." "You know each other?" asked Noob. "Meet me tonight in that bars basement. 12 o' clock sharp." "Oh, you are so dirty." Snake said. "Snake why do you get all the ladies and action?" "Because kid, I am hot and a high level and met her in junior high. Thats when i found out I was better than all the 8th graders combined." "Ewww" I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH THAT TONIGHT AND EXPECT A CHANGE OF PLANS. TOMORROW I AM GIVING UP ON BIOS FOR A WHILE AND MOVING TO THE QUEST FOR THE HOLY HAND GRENADE WHICH WILL BE A WHOLE NEW BOOK! I WILL CONTINUE WITH THE BIOS SOON AND WILL ADD THEM TO SNAKE AND NOOBS ADVENTURES THROUGH RUNESCAPE. NOTE THAT I WANT MORE IDEAS FOR QUESTS!

LOL...i'll edit that and YAY...maybe I'll make a little violence but instead of blood and guts...instead of blood and guts...Damn,what will i do?

just draw them the way you think they look. I would love to see a comic version. I was thinking that it was like a comic too. Issue three tonight and the questions were all right. By the way, how many the hell bios can you think up? Man you must have a large list of bios cuz' you keep sending them in! And about the powerent thing, i wrote one sentence with no blood or gore called powerents adventures. I think the blood and gore adds some good and funny elements.

SNAKE AND NOOBS ADVENTURES THROUGH RUNESCAPE ISSUE 2:THE INNKEEPER, SPIDER COW, AND ARCHIMAGE A'S BOTHER STORY 3:THE INNKEEPER Snake and Noob walked into a bar. It was a normal bar with five tables in the middle, two booths in the southern corners, a bar with stools, and an innkeeper. Snake and Noob sat at the bar and Snake set down some gold. "Two of your finest ales." The innkeeper took two glasses and filled them with the ale setting one in front of Snake and the other in front of Noob. "Like hell i'm giving you that." Snake took the glass of ale away from Noob and told the innkeeper to get his friend a juice box. Noob complained but Snake said that he was to low level and would get drunk to easily. The innkeeper set down juice box and looked at Snake. "Two hundred coins please." Noob butted in "Snakes rich but not rich enough to afford that!" "Well then get the hell out of my bar!" People behind Noob and Snakes back stood up and stared. "No." Said Noob. "Here I'll pay." Snake went for his money pouch attached to his belt but was suddenly stopped by an adamant long sword cutting away the pouch. Two guys in addy armor were looking at Snake and Noob. "You guys think your tough aye?" Snake took his beer glass and said "I will kill you with this." "As long as you pay for it!" The innkeeper butted in. "Fine, I'll pay for it." Snake went for his money pouch that was lying on the floor. A sword was plunged down at him. Snake dodged and came up, striking the guy in the neck with the beer glass. A huge chunk of glass broke on impact and lay implanted in the guys neck. Snake chipped a piece of glass from the beer glass and dodged the other guys Addy scimitar. Snake jumped onto the guys head and stuck the piece of glass into his eye. Suddenly, the guys explode prayer came on. "Oh crap." Snake,Noob,innkeeper, and the building blew up. In lumbridge the innkeeper said to Snake "Cough up two million!" STORY 4:SPIDER COW Snake and Noob were killing cows for hides in some random pasture. One of the cows looked funny. It was near a haystack with a lamp next to it. This haystack was up against the wall. The cow had a pattern like spider webs on its body. Noob walked up to it and punched its nose. The cow kicked the lamp onto the haystack and the fire spread onto the wall. Snake saw noobs hand get eaten off by the cow and then he was kicked over the city walls and into the city. The fire was spreading quickly. Snake attacked the cow and only scratched it with his powerful special attack. "Oh Crap!" Snake was then catapulted over the wall and into the fire. NOW LETS ASK SOME QUESTIONS! WHICH FIRE WAS STARTED BY A COW SUPPOSEDLY? a.THE GREAT FIRE OF CHICAGO b.THE GREAT FIRE OF WHO CARES c.I DON'T KNOW LETS TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR ANSWER. GUESS WHAT? THEY ARE ALL RIGHT ANSWERS. ANSWERING a. MEANS THAT YOUR A SMARTASS! NEXT QUESTION: WHERE THE HELL DID THE NAME SPIDER COW COME FROM? a.SOME DUDE WHO WAS WATCHING A SIMPSONS MOVIE COMMERCIAL AND THOUGHT SPIDER COW SOUNDED BETTER THAN SPIDER PIG b.SOME DUDE WHO HAS BEEN WATCHING TO MUCH MONSTERS INC. c.SOME GUY WHO GETS PLEASURE FROM THE STUPIDEST THINGS IF YOU PICKED ANY OF THEM I DON'T KNOW IF YOUR RIGHT! ASK THE CREATOR OF SPIDER COW. HOPEFULLY NO ONE WHO WORKS WITH THE SIMPSONS WILL SUE HIM FOR THAT IDEA! NEXT STORY PLEASE: STORY 5:ARCHIMAGE A'S BOTHER Snake and Noob walked with Archimage. He was trying to find the lost library. Archimage was being followed by some level 30's. "Who are they?" asked Snake. "My bother." replied Archimage. They kept asking him questions. Archimage got mad. "Me and my friends are going to find the fabled lost library and you are not coming." Archimage closed his eyes and called on his Unicode bubble. Suddenly all of the Archimages bother members eyes popped and their mouths opened. They're intestines slithered out of their mouths and around they're throats strangling them to death. "Brutal." said Snake. "Hay this is the first time we have not died in the end of a story!" Lucky for you. POWERENTS NONVIOLENT STORY 1: Powerent walked along the road staring at the many beautiful flowers and staring at the wizards tower. THE END NEXT ISSUE: THE CULT OF THE ORANGE VEGETABLE FROM THE GROUND, THE MASTER, AND XAROSEN! MORE FUN QUESTIONS AND LOTS MORE FUN WITH POWERENT!

SNAKE AND NOOBS ADVENTURES THROUGH RUNESCAPE SPECIAL ISSUE #1: POWERENTS NONVIOLENT STORY Powerent was walking to Tavelry where he would get the orb of Guthix and restore balance between the gods. He decided that this was a good time to piss off the author and not do anything violent along the way. Once in Tavelry, he went to the stone circle and took out a Spade and dug the earth up to find the sphere. He said the magic words and balance was restored. HEY KIDS, WE ALL KNOW THAT STORY SUCKED SO ITS TIME FOR AN ALTERNATE ENDING! Powerent took out his spade and smashed it into one of the druids. The druids nose was broken and tried to do magic to heal it but was too late and got decapitated by the spade. "Sarodomin Is The Lord!" yelled powerent killing all the druids. Blood washed over the pillars of the stone circle. Powerent said "Screw restoring balance" and threw his spade so that it hit the witch in the face and killed her. HEY KIDS WASN'T THAT FUN? WELL TOO BAD! POWERENT WILL NOW HAVE HIS OWN COLUMN EVERY ISSUE AND ITS NONVIOLENT! NO ALTERNATE ENDINGS NOTHING! A DAILY DOSE OF POWERENTS BORING LIFE! NEXT ISSUE COMING SOON!.

the quest for the holy hand grenade! For that we need coconuts. LOL, nice reference. Monty Python and the Holy Grail has to be one of my favorite movies.

LOL...i will right a story solely about your character using your story, and fine no blood and gore. You are boring. How can i right a story without blood and gore? I WILL! It will be called Powerent kills Zamorak and it will be posted tomorrow. But don't get the idea i will right a whole series of stories about you! Just one for now and you can be added to my Snake and Noob series as a straight and nonfunny character. I will do some stories in the series about you and i will also work with Archimage A and the Noob police.

BOOK 2: SNAKE AND NOOBS ADVENTURES THROUGH RUNESCAPE ARTICLE 1:SPOONS AND ARCHIMAGE A STORY 1:SPOONS Snake and Noob walked over a power cord and into a bar. Power cords were strewn everywhere. Snake looked around to see what they were connected to. He saw the biggest T.V ever. It was like 100 feet across and 50 feet high. It was outside and being hooked up by some guy. Snake told Noob he would be back and walked out to the T.V. It was currently showing a commercial for Bob's axes. Snake kicked the technician in the side of the stomach and asked him what the hell a giant T.V was doing in Runescape. "None of your buisness, it is an update that Jagex specifically told me to hook up." "Stand up when you are talking to me!" Snake said violently. "Nope standing sucks i like sitting." Snake grabbed him by the neck and stood him up. The guy instantly fell. "What the hell? What's your name?" asked Snake. "I am Spoons. I trip over these cords all the time. Are they not thick?" Snake picked one up and looked at it. It was thin as thread. Snake pulled the cord until it ripped in half and the T.V turned off. "Hay, you evil person! I will make sure to ban you!" Spoons said. "Hee hee. Not if your in hell!" Spoons stood and fell over a cord again. Snake grabbed him and threw him into the giant T.V. Sparks flew and people everywhere were on fire. Their flesh singed off and their bones crumbled into dust. A big level 96 guy was burning and his flesh was showing along with many boils. He ran into the bar window and onto a table where noob sat. A spark flew into noobs beer and blew it up in Noobs face. Noob fell over and onto the cords. The cords then blew up the bar went with it. Snake watched it blow and could only mutter one word as more people ran everywhere screaming and burning."Damn" STORY 2: ARCHIMAGE A Snake and Noob were walking around in Varrock and decided to go into the museum. Inside a guy in a blue robe and with a staff made up of letters was studying a Varrock history book. Noob looked at his cloak and asked, "Where do you get one of those?" "If you have a Unicode Bubble you can wear these." "What do you do for a living?" "I ask questions and give people tests." "What do i win if i pass?" "The rights to say that you were the only human to pass the test. The only people who have passed looked like midget butlers." "What?" "Penguins you idiot!" "Ohh. I want to take the test! Snake can I?" "Whatever." Snake replied. "Yay, lets start! By the way what is your name?" "Archimage A. Let us start the quiz. What is two time two?" "Four. Duh." " How many syllables are in the phrase "If this question does not kill you this next question will"?" "13." "Very good. Next question, how do you spell Czechoslovakia?" "Ohh, uhh, C...H..." "Wrong,you lose and you will now be forever a loser because of this dunces hat" A dunces hat appeared on his head."That will not come off for a month." "I will kill you!" yelled Noob and he lunged at Archimage A. A terrible sound erupted from a sphere behind Archimage. Noobs head exploded and blood flew all over the display cases. The museums glass started shattering everywhere and flew into tourists heads and eyes. Blood flew everywhere. Some guy ran up to Snake and hugged him saying "I always wanted to do that,but i was wondering if we could make this even more magica..." The guys eyes exploded all over Snake and the guys head exploded making Snake feel the warmth of blood and brains on his clothes. Some blood spilled on a Zamorakian artifact and Snake and Archimage ran out of the museum. A voice erupted."Who dares defile my vases?" Suddenly a lightening strike fell from the heavens and the museum blew up into smithereens. The rock that used to be the walls of the museum fell on civilians crushing them. Snake whispered to Archimkage "We better get the hell out of here." I NEED IDEAS FOR FAKE QUESTS,RANDOMS,MONSTERS,PEOPLE,PLACES AND SKILLS. POST ALL IDEAS HERE AND WE WILL RETURN TOMORROW WITH: THE INNKEEPER, ARCHIMAGES BOTHER, AND SPIDER COW! ALSO LOTS MORE VIOLENCE AND ARCHIMAGE JOINS WITH SNAKE TO FIND THE LOST LIBRARY! ADVENTURES ABOUND NEXT ISSUE OF SNAKE AND NOOBS ADVENTURES THROUGH RUNESCAPE!