Harakiri

I am here...for a moment. It is just that time of year when we gotta take all the vacations to boring meetings across the globe. Guess where the next conference will take me? Hong Kong. Yay me. Another trip to Asia. I like to travel but Asia twice in one year? -.- Anyway I have so much going on and thanks to Everyone who has kept this thread alive while i was gone. I will write more. I have a lot of stories written and i hope i can type them someday soon. Anyway here is what I have written: A ending to the storyline I have been working on A new Zamorack uprising story A story about how Snake passed the challenges of the gods to defeat the gods. A story on the downfall of runescape A story on the next god war Snakes death Archimages biggest enemy Thats as far as i got. A lot of writting. Anyway got more papers to read through and file out (I am as bored as James Bond in Moonraker the book, when he was filing) Archimage has my permission to write a Snake and Noob story. See ya later.

Archimage will have to keep it going for a while because of the stupid jet lag.

Ratchet 573 is in Japan and waiting for a meeting starting in two hours and wants you to know, THE LAST 6:02 NEWS IS HERE Hello and welcome people, to the 6:02 news, with terrible ratings and even worse reviews, we are gonna have to pack up and leave. The god thing is that I have been accepted as one of Archimages interns. 5 WEEKS LATER (What would happen in real life) I am Ratchet reporting from, the barney meets the powerranger movie What? The barney and powerranger... What? The barney and power... what? The... What? The barney meets the powerrangers movie. O.K! Damn it, I hate you little John, how did you get hired anyway? IN RUNESCAPE: I am currently in the wild where a clan war is going on, as you can see, those rangers sure are whomping on the attackers. Thank god I am far from their range. Ohh...here is where the clan war is at! That noob gave us the wrong directions. Oww...hey watch it...Oh dear...well I have to report out for now...oww...can I finish? Thanks. Goodbye and see you later and screw you Archimage. I am Archimage and am here to say that that finger Ratchet just stuck up, his last movement he will ever make, is not to be used by young noobs. Thank you. And here is a comercial by a sponser. Are you bored of being called a murderer for killing your annoying Boyfriend or girlfriend? Does a noob annoy you with his constant attacks with a rubber chicken? If you answer yes to any of these questions then you need... ARCHIMAGES CODEX BUBBLE! Fun colors! Cool powers. Thanks to Archimage, I have been sued by Jagex for screwing up their game. We are jagex and we want to say, forget you Archimage. I am a world famous Texas judge and I want all of you to shut the hell up. Yes sir. Dammit, I love my codex bubble. ARCHIMAGES CODEX BUBBLES For two payments of 1 billion gold. If you don't pay within the set time, you will be incinerated and your ashes will be thrown in a pot and incinerated. Then the guy incenerating your ashes will be cremated. Just for fun. And remember, psychology is for chumps, live life to the fullest with Archimages Codex bubble. Here is a happy customer! Here is my codex bubble... his name is...give me the camera...thank you. *gasping* And Saradomin raves: That damn Archimage has done it again, I see no point in being a god. Goodbye. Go bye a codex bubble. Now...are you listening? Good. Hand over the money. Here is a codex bubble. Oh...look at this, the whole of Runescape was watching the infomercial...can't pay? Go incinerate yourself noob. Yes master. Side effects of the codex bubble= explosive diareha other bodily malfunctions the sudden urge to want to become a piece of cheese or a fungus. Time to continue my vacation in Japan. see ya.

i am at the hotel and about to leave. Read yor newest post and have to say "HAHAHA". Anyway, you should not have changed your icon at the bottom. The Xarosen Archimage one was better. Just a friendly opinion Archimage. And I am sorry to say I don't use bios at the moment though blue jay will be used as a major character soon. I could use yours, guy with whatever that pokemon is called as an avatar. Gangar. Thats it. You see, in Japan these animes are pretty cool. I read subtitles on cartoons but even in pokemon they say hell! Japan is cool, and after watching all the T.v I have here, its a wonder by puny american body can stand to the show and not make me have a siezure! Anyway, keep em coming archimage and woot!!! Cograts to everyone for getting this story to a ninth page.

hay...i have just enough time to say...I am not wierd Archimage and i don't have kids. I don't really want kids. Especially with a job that makes me travel around like this. Anyway, regular stories start back by the weekend. God no's when i will get home with jet lag the way it is. Anyway Japan is fun and we are gonna go see some of the ancient temples tomorrow. Keep it going Archimage and nice graphics by the way.

I will be gone on vacation most of the week and I am leaving Archimage with the news segments to keep it going. I will return with updates every now ans then but... See ya later, and Archimage, you can write a mini series about your character if you want.

A very good movie. Next time can we see interviews with characters and I really want to see interviews with the staff of your news. Great job on the movie though. Kinda weird but it was still better than what i could do. Anyway due to special requests (and a couple bucks) I am going to tell you about the codex bubble. A historian, Dr.Knowsall, will explain: The codex bubble is a spherical object that was created by the wizard (concealed identity for legal issues). This wizard used a ball of molten glass and used a little magic to put part of his soul in it. That was when the codex bubble was created. How did they get those cool powers into it like making peoples minds get erased and knocking people out cold with just a bare touch to it? I don't know. No really. Oh, fine I will tell you for 50 dollars. As long as you tell the god honest truth. Here is the money, what do you know about the bubbles powers? Nothing! Hee hee hee! Well, at least we learned a little. Anyway welcome to the 6:02 news. I am Ratchet, the new anchor. A better anchor. Anyway today we will have interviews that the not the 10 o' clock news have not had. Like a interview with Snake. And other people. Anyway welcome to the show Snake. Thanks. I am sorry to say but I am sick of Archimages news! All though, the free uzi's were cool. Hay look you guys seem to have a whole box full from Archimages news. They are here for...the mailman brought them to the wrong address. Oh...I hate when they do that. Anyway, whats your take on Runescapes seemingly endless sunlight. I sleep in Port Phasmatys. And what is your take on Reldo being king? That they should get a new king. Thanks for all the great points Snake. In other news, Noob, the god of darkness and ruler of gladiator land, or what used to be hell is here to talk to us. I don't like your news show, it airs on the FOX network so it has low ratings, where is Archimages news show? Uhh... Oh, cool. A box of Archimages Uzi's! No please dont! No not the camera...aim at our intern! Yeah, or hay there is my lawyer... Due to loss of picture quality, we bring you a clip from, best of the fourth age season 2. Oh...well, they are still trying to get a camera up. And since Archimage can complain about his country lets talk about the good ol' U.S of A. Everywhere you go there is a fast food restaurant. In Japan you don't have fast food restaurants all over, do you? No instead you have bento box machines. MMM...week old sushi. Due to technical issues, we have returned with more news. Noob's ammo seemed to have backfired on him and he is now back in hell. Anyway, we now are selling an ammo clip that the god of darkness used to shoot at us with. The gun was destroyed in the guns back firing. Anyway here with us to comment on our new camera is...Archimage. That is not your camera forever you know, we need that back sometime. Thank you Archimage, well we have time to talk to someone about how to light the dungeons under Lumbridge better right? He died from noobs shooting? Well then we have another guest who calls himself a gladiator of noob. I always wanted to be a gladiator. I commited suicide one day and minutes later I was wisked away to a beautiful island of lave and shards of glass for sand. I went into the arena and wam! I was a gladiator. Go to hell. Because being a gladiator is cool. That sounded like an infomercial but O.K and here on a special occasion, is Mr. Nimboya, who is the director of best of the fourth age. Yes, I am. That last clip you showed was good. Well, you did select it for the show and I would only hope for the best from you. Here is a clip from my next show, the future of Runescape. http://youtube.com/watch?v=MxAWpsVoPgQ Wow, we look pathetic. Very. Well, on behalf of what is left of the crew... Remember, Archimages news shows are better. Dammit, get off our show. OBITUARIES Cameraman:Billy mandral Guard:Serengio gojaval Other people: 22 dead, most wrote the script. (Its hard to right you know PRESUMED DEAD Guy in policebox preventing our news from being better than Archimages: The doctor. COMMENTS: The doctor was an odd fellow. And a policebox? So outdated.

Whens it come out? I cant wait to see what you have done. And I am sorry if Noob is not to your liking anymore but he will return as a real person afterwhile. How? That is something that you will have to read and find out!

Welcome back Archimage. Now let me tell you something. 1. The noob thing was because I did not see Noob being used enough 2. There is a secret behind Snakes sudden murder of his old girlfriend and attempted murder of Reldo 3. Here is the next chapter CHAPTER 15: A LITTLE PROBLEM Snake thought that this was crazy. He was not going to fight his best friend. But the old man had said to him that this was Archimages test and Snake would not be killed, and Archimage would not be killed either. Snake drew his sword and pointed it at Archimage. "Sorry if I hurt you to bad." Snake said. "You won't." Archimage let Snake lunge at him. Archimage then used his codex bubble on him. Snakes sword cracked on impact with the bubble. Suddenly Snake felt a pain in his stomach. He screamed as blood seeped through his shirt. "Stop the fight!" Archimage called. The darkness diminished and now Snake was in a rotunda, filled with books. Archimage pulled off his shirt and saw to his horror, that his diamond was not sealed in the demon jewel. It was in small shards, surrounding the jewel like a fort. Blood seeped from the edge of the jewel, like last time. "Dammit." Archimage must not have sealed it good enough. There was no way to stop the demon now. "What is going on Archimage?" One of the library guards asked. Archimage pointed at the jewel and the guard understood. "We need someway to get rid of the jewel." The guard ran up a set of stairs, and entered a long hall hull of books. He picked one up and ran back to Archimage. The guard flipped through the book until he found the page he wanted. He marked the page and ran to a room full of potions and other magical stuff. He grabbed some stuff and ran out. "When did it open Snake?" Asked Archimage. "I don't know, but it almost took me over when I killed my old girlfriend." "I am back." The guard set all the things he collected down and took a potion from a bag first. He opened it and poured it into the jewel. Snake screamed as the jewel spewed steam out of its crack. The guard then began creating another potion. It had a lot of ingredients to it. When it was finished, the guard took out his staff and plunged it into the crack in the jewel. He yelled a spell and fire started melting the jewel. The potion was then dumped on it, as Snake screamed. The jewel suddenly melted away. Snake got up and looked at his bare chest, now with a circular scar there instead of the jewel. Snake thanked the guard and took Archimage to a private room to tell him what had been going on. Archimage then said: "The only way to erase everyones memory of your murder and escape is to use the large crystal ball on the top floor. But, it will get us banned from the library. I would like to leave. I like being able to hang out with you. I don't want to spend an eternity guarding a library." "Good, because I want to be able to go to the mainland and not get killed."

It is the weekend and lord knows if I will have time for some more writing on here this weekend. Maybe will. Depends whats going on tonight and tomorrow.

IGN is not the site i would use. Go to: http://www.G4tv.com Click on the xplay link and then on the reviews and type in the name of your game. I trust them more than any other reviewers.

That was not very good. It had to be darker. It sounded quite random. For the title to be armageddon, I wanted to hear some dark music.

On G4, X play gave it a 4 out of 5 and anyway i thought it was kinda fun. I mean it may look stupid at first but it is really good. Anyway dont trust IGN...the people on there are just normal people giving there opinions, not professional game reviewers.

My list: Mudvayne Gwar Red hot chili peppers lamb of god saliva I usually have the metal station on though. Runescape music is not all that great. There are some sings but there are others that are not good at all.

CHAPTER 14: THE ESCAPE Snake was being dragged out of the castle. Thee guards pulled him all the way to town square, where the gallows were set up. An executioner with a black mask on watched as Snake was pulled up the stairs to the wooden deck. Snake let the guards put the tied rope over his head and the guards still held on to him as Reldo spoke. "Snake, you deserve to die! You killed Susan, you attempted to kill me..." "I could have if your pathetic and stupid guard weren't holding me ba..." One of the guards punched him in the stomach. Snake was gagging on the tightened rope. "Goodbye old friend. May Zamorack spare your soul eternal pain and..." "Zamorack? Ha!" Snake was choking on the rope as he talked. "Kill him." Snake saw the man with the black mask over his head pull a lever. The floor under Snake was dropped and he flew down, bouncing as the rope tried to straighten. He was seeing lights, and red. It was time to put his plan into action. The transformation was quick and before he knew it, Snake the hellhound was running out of the city. The ropes knot was too large for the small head and neck of the hellhound. Snake ran. And ran. When in Lumbridge, he stopped running. He transformed back to his human form and went to the church. Father Lawrence was rummaging through his gods bible. "Father." "Snake? Why are you here? I thought you were to be hung?" Dammit. Rumors go around to fast. "No, that was one of Noobs little jokes." "Where is Noob?" "Um, lets just say he is not with us at the moment." "He has died?" "Well, if you want to put it that way..." **** Guthix looked at Saradomin and Noob. "As the god of balance I must get rid of one of you imbeciles and put in someone smart." "You may be god of balance, but I am the god of good." Said Saradomin. "And I am the god of evil. It evens out." Guthix looked at them some more. He was about to go crazy. **** The funeral was attended only by a few. Susan was buried in her hometown of Lumbridge. Snake knew nothing about his and ended up being seen by one of Reldo's guards. Snake ran for it, into the swamp. He took out his dramen staff, his only way to escape this wretched land. He kicked the small sheds door open and was instantly teleported away to one of the only places to see faries. **** The sighting of Snake and his disappearance was related to Reldo. Reldo stared at the guard, wide eyed. "That is the way into the city of the faries. He told me of his adventure to get a dramen staff and enter the city a long time ago." "Where is this dramen staff located?" "That I can't remember." "Then that does not help." Reldo walked away from the grave and went to Varrock as fast as he could. He needed to alert everybody in the land of Snake. **** Snake left the fairy city when the cost was clear. He was going to go to the lost library. It was on the far eastern side of Runescape. That was what Archimage had said. Snakes walk was about a day. He teleported as much as he could and was not caught or seen by anyone on the way. That night, he was on the beaches and could see a circular place in the middle of the ocean. He swam to it. When he got there a rope was thrown down to him. He climbed it only to see Archimage face down on the ground with an old guy staring at him and another old man pull up the rope he threw down to Snake. "Hello Snake, we know much about you and you are needed for Archimage's test." The old man plunged his hand into Snakes stomach and there was darkness. Then, an arena and Archimage. Whats going on? Fighting you is Archimage's worst fear, so we will pit you in a fight. What the hell are you doing here Snake? I don't know. Next chapters: 15:The battle is rough but only one person can win. 16:Snake now guards the lost library. Him and Archimage will use it though, to make everyone forget Snake is an enemy. And the other library guards have a severe punishment for them doing this.

Ive been reading it from the first word to the last period. This story, I thought at first, was just going to be another story that has no story line and just about a big 126 who finds a noob, and kills him (yes there are storys like that). So I was surprised. This story rocks and should not be critisised (Archimage ur the exception Because of your bite attack) So in short, WRITE MORE!!!! I will write as much as I can but I am sorry to tell you people, I have a life. After Doctor Who I will write another chapter.

Thanks a lot and good luck in middle school. If you need any help with middle school talk to the pro...me. PM me if you have problems with kids making fun of you or anything. I have a lot of tips for you if you do.

CHAPTER 13: ARCHIMAGES PAST PART 2 Blake was back at the camp. Well, what remained of the camp. The camp seemed to have burned down and a large dispute was what seemed to have been the cause. The thieves were in the training ground. When Blake came over to the training grounds people looked stunned to see the shield in his hand. "What is going on?" Blake asked. "Those people want to follow the elders instead of you!" Blake walked over to the people who wanted to follow him. "Why?" "They think you are to young and thought you would be caught and killed anyway." "Well to bad. I wasn't." One of the elders walked up behind Blake and grabbed the shield from his hand. Blake held it tight and a fight broke out. Everyone was killing each other. The shield broke. The old guy had part and Blake had the other part. "Black arm gang, come." The old men and some thieves followed the old guy with part of the shield. "Pheonix gang, follow." Blake followed them into Varrock, where they entered an abandoned house. Blake handed the shield to a young man who was entering the door and walked off. Blake walked for years. He could not stand the seperation and was sick of being a thief. **** At 20 years old Blake was on the other side of Runescape. He was way south, and on the beach. From the beach, he could see a building, coming out of the water. A circular building. Blake decided to swim out to it. The swim was long and hard. When he got there a rope was thrown down to him. He grabbed it and was heaved up by an old man. "Welcome to the lost library." The old man was wearing orange robes. "Why are you out here?" "We are not in the ocean, we are everywhere! The lost library IS the space time continuem!" "You are weird I am leaving..." "Not so fast...you found this place because you are destined to be a guardian of the library for the rest of eternity!" "WHAT?" The old man stuck his hand into Blake's stomach. Darkness. Welcome to the test Archimage. What did you just call me? Who are you? I am Jebediah, a guardian of the library. And I called you Archimage. Why? Because,the name suits you, your going to be an Archival mage if you pass the test. What test? This one. Archimage was now in an arena. He saw someone, a dark figure appear out of nowhere. Who are you? He asked. Xarosen. Your dark side. You must defeat the evil in you to become a guardian Archimage. The old mans voice said. A sword was in Archimages hand and he ran at his dark side. He sliced his dark side in half. Xarosen just laughed. Your hatred for me keeps me alive. Archimage tried to clear his mind of thoughts. He tried to thing in a good way. Why are you so mean Xarosen? Because I am who I am. But why? Why can't you be nice and not use thievery to get happiness. You have controlled me for so long. Why do you do it? I thieve for fun. But all your fun is hurting others. So? So, why not be nice and help others. AUGH, Shut up Archimage! Why? You have controlled me all these years, why should I shut up to the likes of you? Because... Xarosen was gone. The old man's voice said: Now let us delve into your past. All the terrible times and the thievery. And now that Xarosen was gone, Archimage was able to not do that, to be able to make decisions. **** After his past was seen Blake was reborn into Arcimage, who ended up leaving the library for using it for his own purposes, to talk to his dead mother. Nobody found out about this until Archimage pasts his next test, which was to make a codex bubble. After the test they found out and banned him. He still had his codex bubble, his moms only remaining possession, her diamond ring, and his robes and knowledge he had learned. The people told him to come back in two years, after he had thought hard about why he would contact his mother and if it helped him. **** Two years had passed and Archimage had figured out that it was wrong to contact his mother. The test would make him a true guardian of the library. And the next test was to go into his nightmares and face what he worst fears... To BE CONTINUED Next chapter: Archimages worst fear may be his downfall, and if he does not pass the master test, he will be killed!

You guys are to obsessed with pirates 3. I thought it was great. Better than 2 but not as good as 1. I thought that the graphics were good and the final fight rocked.

As the topic says Mine is postie pete

new chapters to be posted this afternoon.

If you have read my Snake and Noob stories you may think those are pretty dark but my new science fiction story is even worse. Set after the invasion of the Kritlons, a race of aliens so powerful, half the universe now belongs to them. The main character is Chris, who has a suicide mission to kill the Kritlons in his head...It is time for a Ratchet573 original story... SUICIDE MISSION Chapter 1: Hope, the only thing we don't have Chris was thrown into a small room with a bed and a desk as the only furnishings. The alien creature who had dragged him all the way into the room walked over to the desk, the talons of his feet almost slicing Chris's leg. The alien pushed a button and a computer of a peculiar size and shape appeared on the desk. It was octagonal, and was flat. It was very large for a computer. A keyboard appeared. It was a normal keyboard. The alien pushed Chris, with his scaly hand, out of his way and left the room. The door was closed and locked on Chris. Chris looked at his new room. It had white tiles and white wall paper and a white ceiling, it was like a hospitals emergency room. The bed was lumpy and not very comfortable. Chris sat on it anyway. He looked at the computer. He had no chair to sit in and get onto the internet to see what was happening on Earth. Chris was in the army. He was fighting to keep the Kritlon alien race from taking over the planet. But, he was captured. He had seen many things during that war that no man should see. Dead babies in the hands of crying mothers. People, their guts hanging out from their stomach, trying to say goodbye to there families. He dismissed these thoughts. The war had destroyed Earth. The only reason he was kept alive was to work onboard the ship as a slave. A bell rang. Chris looked up at the door and an alien blob told him that it was recreation time. Chris was brought to a small, rectangular room, full of gym equipment. Ten other slaves were there, doing all sorts of gymnastics. Chris went to the weights and started lifting them. Once the blob left and locked the room the slaves all huddled together. "I can't believe we have been caught by these aliens!" All the slaves nodded there heads. "They have only twenty men in their army but have wiped out the earth. We are probably the only survivors of the massacre." Chris looked at the rest of the slaves. "I will not stand to be used as a slave. We need to find a way to kill them, no matter the cost." Chris said this the best he could. Images started flashing into his mind. His wife.His son. His family. His friends. His life. His life. This is what it leads up to. Him becoming a slave. Him having to watch people die. Him having to walk through the blood soaked streets of the aliens last massacre. He wanted to kill himself. He had nothing else. Kill himself. Yes, do that. Be a wuss. Don't see what God has in store for you just go kill yourself. Negative thinking is always good. So your going to be one of those aliens victims. Go ahead, kill yourself. No. I am not a wuss...I just You just what? You will find a way to defeat the aliens. No! They are to powerful Negative thinking Chris. Jesus you are becoming a mental breakdown. I wonder why. Why? Because,my families dead. My friends. What about that? Your friends? In the army you dont make friends because you know they have a large possibility of dying. Shut the hell up... The bell rang and the blob brought everyone to a small dinghy room. It had a table in it and some random scraps of food on broken pieces of china.Chris ate all the potato chips and ham sandwiches he could and then was escorted to his room. The lights were turned off and Chris thought that meant it was bed time. He tried to sleep on the lumpy bed but it took him an hour to find a comfortable position. Then, the dreams **** "Soldier, god bless you..." The old man was bleeding everywhere. He fell into Chris's hands, dead. Chris set him down and took out his machine gun and put a new clip into it. He ran down the street. A woman screamed for him. He stopped and saw that she had a black and shriveled up looking baby in her hands. she pointed at a building. Chris walked inside to see his family having pleasant conversations. Then, he saw an alien jump through a large window and shoot them all. Chris felt their hot blood splash against his face. "NOOOO!" He yelled. He was knocked out by the but of an aliens pistol. **** Chris woke up and breathed heavily.He got up and went to the computer. He was not going to be able to go to sleep for a long time, not until he can dismiss the thoughts of the war... TO BE CONTINUED Comments? Post them

has anybody been reading these stories :?: Please tell me what you people think...

When Archimage comes back he is gonna have a hell of a time writing a long report. It will have Zammy,the necromancer,Snake,Noob the king of hell, local gladiators,with the power of ghost speak SUsan,Reldo,and Archimage. Do that. That would be one hell of a news report and make up for the time you have been gone.

I would probably die of boredom and rather watch a barney movie with my kid.