Harakiri

It is now time for an updated picture of what is going on. If you can not see anything that is because there is blood all over the camera. Oh, there is bill the camera man, I would know is voice anywhere. Yes I am here Bob and I seem to be in the middle of an epic battle for the fate of runescape. God, I come out cuz my boss tells me to get the camera and now I am soaked in blood and guts. Oh, look at that a couple cute chipmunks...Oh God...They are biting my face. My eyes! My ears! Please save meeeeeeeeeeeee! We seem to have lost his signal and when someone dies on camera you know your watching the 6:02 news. Come on down watch the news Blood and guts abound Make sure you bring some popcorn And earplugs to plug up those awful sounds OF SCREAMS BLEED BLEED BLEED THE NEWS IS A SOURCE OF ALL THE LATEST VIOLENCE. SONG TITLES ABOUND ROTTING CORPSES SHOWN ON PUBLIC TELEVISION? HELL YA SAVE A SEAT FOR THE news news holy moly its the 6:02 news news news education abounds today what is the main story? Today the main story is the conquering of Falador. For this story we saved a small man from a barrel and asked a shade to give his opinion. Now Mr. Bimbo, how are you today? Wheres the dragon? What are you talking about...where are you? Oww, my head. What the hell do you think your doing? Where is seagull? Don't have one clue or the other. Now lets talk to the shade. How are you? Doing fine thanks. Good because you want to feel good the day you die. Are we running out of time? We still have 49 minutes left? O.K then over to sports. Well in the world of gnome ball the trees lost to the trunks. And the leaves lost to the branches. And here to give his rousing opinion is a garden gnome who has been traveling around the world finding great deals. Damn that Shatner! He is now the karate kicking guy who took my job! I hate you! Thanks for your opinion. Well lets go back to bob. I know my wife wants to divorce me! I hate her with my life, the only reason i married her is because she had money. Hell no this job does not pay enough! I hate this job with my life I mean look at where I am today! I live right next to the busiest road in Runescape and all those damn people coming into my house. My wife is a big fat stupid bi... Uhh sir? We have been rolling through that! Edit that out. Sir we cant its live. Oh uhhh, Shade? Yes? Its time. Yes! HAHAHAHA. I guess that was the six o two news. Join in tommorow when we talk to Reldo about his plans to get married.See ya.

Yeah I just messed up there. no problem sry for flaming you.

all those episodes were on the season 4 dvd

Theres a 5th Season? I thought thats the one which is coming out.... We in England only got up to season 4 :( Season 4 was the best though. Definitly the most creative. Yeah there is a 5th, its probably one of my favorites. It goes a lot more into the whole fry and leela thing as well. :P No, dont listen to him. We here in the states have only got to season 4. The last one is the one where leela goes deaf and cant hear fry's halophone concert. And don't fight me, I have all 4 seasons on 15 DVD's wanna see them? Come to my house. The new season is season 5. And if you say you have seen season 5 then you are lying through your teeth. I am sorry but there are americans on this thread who are futuramas biggest fans. I Know. They will tell you there is not a fifth season. Go to Ebay and type in futurama fifth season DVD and you will not get anything.

lol...fav characters 1 john zoidberg-he is so misunderstood. 2 Professor hubert J farnsworth-wahh? 3 Bender Bending Rodriguez-he would be at the top but he is not as funny as the previous characters. 4. Hermes conrad-holy mannila of gorilla! 5. Philip J fry-He is stupid and funny but not up to some of the characters standards.

I'm sorry, but it goes: Family guy American dad Futurama But that's jsut my opnion :P . Good to know, I hope Dr Zoidberg has a major role because he is the best. It goes 1futurama 2south park 3family guy American dad? That was terrible from the start. I completly hated it and thought it was not funny.

Your supplements keep this thread alive? I mean you ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO SEEMS TO HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT THE STORY...I have not seen one other person tell me there thoughts. And though your news segments are basically a whole addition to the snake and noob stories they are not the main course. And by the way, NEXT CHAPTER! CHAPTER 7:THE WAR BEGINS Varrock was in ruin. People were holding their dead children in their hands and Archimage gave silent prayers for them. Snake thought that the way the shades attacked was completely stupid. They killed more people than should have been killed. The shades would pay. Reldo took Snake and Archimage into his castle for a discussion over lunch. "I have heard the plan. How are you going to pull it off?" Reldo asked. "Uhhh...I wonder. Reldo we are going to run into the fray and start [bleep] slapping them until they give. Give me a break we are gonna fight our way to the necromancer and kill him." Snake said. "And you are going to surround them." "Yeah. Not from the south though because as I have told you before, that swamp is full of nasty stuff." "I got you. Oh, there is our lunch." An exquisite soup and bread was served. Snake took a sip and thought it tasted half way decent. "Anyway we have the ships docked over in the river Salve. That should take the men to the ocean." "It will. Thanks for the lunch but we better get over to Morytania before the enemies get to strong." "What are you talking about? You two have not even finished your soup!" "It's a full moon tonight. We have to get to the ghost town because we sure as hell are not going to set up camp in the werewolve town." "Oh. Be careful you two." "Don't worry about us. You better worry about yourself. I know there is going to be a murder attempt on you sometime." "How would you know?" "Would you doubt me after everything that has happened?" Snake and Archimage left and got to the river Salve within an hour where the white knights were working on there fighting. Across the river, zombies could be seen roaming around. Snake caught the eye of one but the zombie looked the other way. "It is time men. Prepare yourselves!" Snake took out his sword. It was some type of odd dragon sword with a snake engraved on it. The snake looked like he was slithering around the sword. Snake started to hurdle people onto the ships and saw Sir Amik Varze. "Good luck sir." Said Snake. "I hopefully won't be needing it." Snake and Amik shook hands and Snake then cut the ropes to the ships and watched them depart. Archimage was leading his men to the slayer castle. Snake and his men got over the bridge and stopped as zombies turned to attack them. Everyone drew their swords and Snake stopped them. They sat their and when the zombies came close and started attacking the soldiers, they were brutally mauled by the first row of Snakes soldiers and did not escape to the second row of soldiers. Snake then told his men to kill. They all attacked the zombies and the zombies then receded. A giant monster with five eyes and so much flesh, some was dragging on the ground appeared form the swamps and took out a giant ax. It swiped at Snake Snake dodged and cut its left knee. It screamed and blood leaked from its knee. It then tried to chop Snake in half. Snake backstepped and cut off its arm. A volley of arrows then came from the sky. They stabbed the creatures back and the creature slumped to its knees and died. Snake looked awound and saw no enemies. He and his men walked to Canfis. In Canfis, the necromancer sat on one of the buildings and all the werewolve people were in their werewolve form. It was three in the afternoon but dark in the land of Zamorrack. "Snake, I have been expecting you..." In Falador, the shades were killing all the guards. People screamed and wondered why the shades were there in broad daylight. The shades destroyed buildings and began to burn the white knights castle when eagles appeared in the sky. "The eagles are coming!" Yelled a short person with big feet. "Whats your name, I have never seen you before." ""My name is Bimbo Blaggins." "Were you in some story or something?" "Maybe." A shade stuffed the short person into a barrel and threw him down a river. "The White Knights castle was burned down and the shades used the civilians left as slaves to recreate the castle into the ultimate castle of darkness. TO BE CONTINUED I have a game for you. Find the reference. In the story I referred to another story. What was it. (Hint: It is a popular book) no more runescape vid today...wait till tomorrow.

CHAPTER 6: THE DAWN BEFORE WAR Snake and Archimage awoke in the white knights castle. Powerent ran off to his family. Archimage looked out the window in the room. The white knights were preparing for war in the courtyard. Last night, at around two in the morning, a message was intercepted. Snake had it on a dresser next to his bed. It read: The zombies will meet in the fields of the werewolves. We expect you and your mages to come and help as as we prepare an unstoppable army. They will defeat all in their way and the white knights will be killed if they interfere. Snake had smelt blood on it. The writing was written with the blood of the king of Varrock. It was stated clearly when you looked at the letter closely. Snake put a black shirt on and grabbed his swords scabbard. He put into a loop in his belt and Archimage and Snake went to the dining table. The squire sat there. His chin was resting upon his hand. "There my friends are." He stood up and opened his arms. "Yup we are here. What is the plan?" asked Snake. "Tactically we don't have enough knowledge of morytania to figure out an advantage." "Me and Snake have knowledge." Archimage said. "Fine. Then give me a walkthrough of the area." "It starts as a field crawling with graves and zombies." "That will be a slight advantage for them, don't you think?" "Yes, but the zombies can not enter the southern swamps. Some dangerous creatures lay in wait for travelers there but we could make it to Canfis if we band together and run." "Canfis?" "The city of the werewolves. We are on friendly terms with the werewolves and they don't take people trying to take over there city lightly." "This city sounds like an advantage." "We could place camps in the werewolves city. They have a small village, but like to call it a city." "What of the north?" "The slayer castle is a nice tactical advantage. If your men can get past abyssal demons they could use the castles wall as a sniper point and the cannons if we can get the cannon balls." "Yes...and what else is to the north?" "The ocean. We could try to see if the varrock people would lend their ships to us." "They would be glad if they heard our cause." "Good. Going further to the west is a small farm of undead cows and chickens and the ghost farmer and his wife." "Can you tell me what good a ghosts farm is?" "It could be used as a base for the lookouts." "I guess." "And more to the west is the ghost city. I will speak there ghostly tongue and we could use their city as a base if we need." "We have some good advantages..." "But a necromancer controls the dead and we could have the best plan but still head into a trap." "So what do we do?" "Band your men into groups. Me and Archimage will be the leaders of the best men." Snake finally put something into the conversation and that made the squire happy. The squire knew of Snakes power. "If you were a frontal attack force that would work. I think Archimage though, with his superior magic skills should be a sniper." "I will accept this job." "Good. I will lead the ships to the ghost city..." "And you can make the army retreat back into us and we will completly have them covered on either sides." said Snake. "Good idea. We will tell the tactics to the men and we will hopefully be ready to go into morytania by sundown." "What about my men?" asked Snake. "And mine?" butted in Archimage. "I will tell them where to meet you and you can prepare them for the fight of their lives." The necromancer immersed from the shadows where he looked into his crystal ball. "The white knights will be in morytania tonight. I will be there. You and your men on the other hand will invade Falador. Take some zombies. I will have enough in Morytania ." "Yesssss my lord." replied a shade. "You!" the necromancer walked into the next room over and saw a lady, chained to a pole, struggling to free herself. "Necromancer! I will have you killed when i escape!" "My royal highness, the royal family shall all die. You saw your husbands body, did you not?" The queen struggled with the chains, trying to hit the necromancer. "I had my shade kill him slowly. He slit it so slow, covering the kings mouth so no one could hear his screams." The queen tried at the necromancer again. "Here is the shade who killed your husband." The shade walked in and a sound like a laugh could be heard. She writhed against the pole as the shade stared her in the eye, his glowing yellow eyes making her blind. She looked away. "And here to kill you, in the slowest way he can, is the zombie form of your husband." The king walked out. His head was held in place only by stitches and he had a pointed rock in his hand. The necromancer watched, and savored the screams as the queens skin was slowly peeled off. Varrock's newspaper was having a field day with the death of the king and his bodies mysterious disappearance, as well as the queen disappearing. Reconstruction on the city was beginning and the temporary ruler, the kings advisor and librarian, Reldo, was declaring that the fights would continue after the threat was gone. The arena was placed away in a storage house. Blood was everywhere and dead bodies littered the ground. People lost their families and many lost their homes. There seemed to be no hope until a letter arrived from Falador, declaring that they were going to wage war against the zombies... TO BE CONTINUED Archimage is my only fan? Where is everyone? Anyone congrats to me for hitting 100 posts on this topic and thanks to Archimage who has brought a great feature to these stories...his news segments. I would love to see those as often as you can bring them out. Anyway...I have decided that since we have all been reading my serious stories i would end them with my favorite runecape humor videos. One of my fav's: I will leave you with that and will start doing that so some of the violence and terribleness of my story wanes off. See you next chapter people.

been there used that.

One post down sry.

the movie is the only one. The other 3 have been divided to make the next season. And by the way...i got season 4 DVD at walmart for 20 bucks

CHAPTER 5 CONTINUED The next match was the master against Xarosen. The master began with a punch to the stomach and an upper cut that smashed Xarosen's nose in. He took out his dragon scimitar and sliced the masters hand open. She screamed as the wound bled all over the arena. Little children cried at the bloody site of it. The master pinched some of the skin over her wound and stitched it together with iron knives. She then pulled out her dragon scimitar and Xarosen met her sword in a fierce blow that knocked both of them off there feet. The master got up the soonest and lunged at Xarosen. He blocked but the master then took out her dragon dagger. It was poisoned. She lunged it into Xarosen's arm and pulled, creating a huge wound, much like the one she had, that had poison in it. She then threw him out of the arena to end the match. Xarosen was taken for medical treatment while the master walked off to the city. The next match was Zhunger against plunger and Plunger one by stuffing a plunger down Zhunger's throat. It was then dinner time. Everyone left while the fighters got a meal that seemed to have nothing but meat involved. Snake ate faster this time and walked off to Reldo to see what he found on necromancers. Reldo was looking for a book when Snake walked in. "Found anything?" asked Snake. "Nothing at all, I could of sworn i had a book on necromancers and the cards say no one checked it out!" "Well, maybe our evil friend took it in the middle of the night." "Could be." "Well, i guess I will leave you alone then." "See you later." "Yup." Snake went out to the parlor and saw Archimage just sitting there. "Whats up?" asked Snake. "I am thinking how I am going to win my match tonight." "Throw noob out of the arena and sit there letting your codex bubble hurt powerent." "No. Has to be an even easier way. I will figure it out." Soon, everyone was hurdled outside for the fight Da Mage against yap yap. yap yap lost. Next was the first three way match. I wont go into detail because this match sucked. Another God won somehow. NOTE: I am not going into detail about the fights because, i really dont care. As we get to the better matches I will go through each one. But for now i want to get the story moving. The final match of the night. It was getting dark and bonfires were lit around the castle to ward off shades. Torches were lit around the arena and the King stood to announce the final preliminary match. "We have had some fine fights. But this is the one you have all waited for. Noob please step up." Noob got into the arena and screamed "WOOOOOOOOO" no one responded. "Powerent, please make your presence known in the arena!" Powerent walked in and nodded his head in recognition of Noob. "And finally Archimage!" Archimage walked into the arena and took off his robe. "Good luck to you all. May the best man win!" The fight began and both Powerent and Archimage ran up to Noob. They grabbed him and threw him out of the ring. Then, Archimage paced around Powerent. "I am gonna hurt you bad." Powerent said. "I dare you to try." Archimage responded. Just as Powerent was about to pull a punch at Archimage, the lights went out. Complete darkness. People screamed. Suddenly, a figure could be seen in the castles gates. A hooded figure. A snake was gagging him it seemed. But he did not make a single noise as he walked through the crowd and jumped over the arena. Snake stood up and Suddenly, all the lights came back on. The man then grabbed Snakes face and threw him into one of the pillars that hold up the castle. The lights shut back off and a shade could be seen behind the king. A glint of a long, silver knife could be seen in the shades hand. Suddenly a scream. More shades. The king was sitting there. Snake looked as closely as he could, using the moonlight as his light, and saw that the kings neck was bleeding. The shade slit the kings throat. Snake got up before the hooded figure with the snake could hit him again. The shades were killing all the civilians in there way. Archimage saw one in the arena and used a fire magic spell to put it on flames. The dim fire did not disturb the other shades as they killed mercilessly. The kings body was thrown over the wall. Guards were being slaughtered. Snake watched as more and more people died. Archimage, Powerent, and Snake tried to get out together. Noob was dead. Archimage put up a burning shield so that Snake and Powerent were able to escape with him. Outside the castle the same scene. Merciless killing. Snake was getting fed up. Suddenly, Snake was transforming. "What the hell?" asked Archimage. Snake was now a hellhound. Snake the hell hound jumped on the back of one of the shades and bit him. The shade went crazy, trying to get the hellhound off him. Archimage saw what Snake the hellhound was doing and attacked with a fire spell. Snake the hellhound jumped off the shade as it burst into flames. "What happened to Snake?" asked Powerent. "It seems that whenever he gets really mad he now transforms into hellhound." "Ohh that is frickin' awesome." Snakie the hellhound opened up shades to attack. Eventually, the shades retreated. The hooded figure with the snake appeared. "That is enough destruction for now. I will return and kill you and the rest of the fighters." On a return trip to the castle, Snake transformed back to himself and saw all the returning fighters still alive and inspecting the bodies. The queen ran out from her bedroom and looked at her husbands dead body. Reldo ran out. "SNAKE!" he said loudly. "What?" "The sign of a necromancer with a snake around his neck is a sign of armageddon!" TO BE CONTINUED... I just get darker and darker don't I? What will happen to the tournament? Will the necromancer get killed? All these questions and more will be answered in future chapters but right now I want to see Archimage do another news show about what will happen in these future chapters and i want everyone to answer who there number 1 favorite character is. This is basically a poll that i will use to make sure that you see enough of that character. I like Snake as a hellhound but, believe it or not, my number one fav character is Archimage! WHAT? I like the innkeeper to. 1vote for Archimage. Vote for your fav everyone!

i am doing very scarce discreptions of fights because most of the characters i don't care about. The biggest fight so far is coming tonight and will have a pretty huge chapter climax.

Chapter 5: The end of the preliminaries (really long chapter) Snake and Archimage watched the next match from the stairs. Cronic Lier scared the forth god to death when he said that if he kills him he will reincarnate into Zezima and take revenge on him. The match went to cronic lier. Bluejay was dueling archimages aquan and killed them with his giant bluebird . The bluebird grabbed them and threw them into the air and and watched as they splattered on the cement. Bluejay won. Next is one of the matches the fans were looking forward to. Spider Cow vs. The Generic Innkeeper. The innkeeper paced around the cow and then walked in front of it. "You want a beer?" he asked. He waved a beer mug in front of the cows face. The cow mooed and nudged at the innkeeper throwing him to the other side of the arena. "You will pay for my checkup to repair my broken ribs." Said the innkeeper. The innkeeper than ran at the cow and smashed the beer mug onto the cows face. Pieces of the glass broke and protruded from the cows flesh. The eyes of the cow were poked out and the cow opened it mouth as it fell to the ground, dead. The eyes rolled out of its mouth and blood streamed a path until the eyes came to a complete stop. The innkeeper the said,"He will pay in hell for this broken mug!" Next match was the cult of the vegies against Archimages bother. Archimages bother was killed by the sharpened carrots of the cult of the orange vegies. I WILL CONTINUE THIS CHAPTER LATER RIGHT NOW I GOTTA GO DO SOMETHING STUPID WITH THE WIFE. FINISH THIS CHAPTER BY 8 EASTERN TIME.

i captured your personality? Holy crap I am good at this. I will write more later.

Lets see you make a worthwhile guide

never asked you to enter

pirates 3 rocked

I am probably get flamed but I was very disappointed with the star wars episode 3. I had high expectations for it but all it was was a bunch of fighting and special effects. I think it was not a movie but more of an ad to hire industrial light and magic.

Thank god that futurama is coming back. November 27 is when the made for DVD movie Futurama:Benders Big Score comes out and i am excited to see what it will be about. The new season will be 16 episodes and will premiere next year on Comedy Central. The new season will hopefully not be terrible and will hopefully be the restarting of this popular series. I think personally that it was a big mistake to put futurama on fox network because it died young due to foot ball games cutting it off. Thank you Comedy Central for bringing back my favorite series ever. Whats you favorite episodes characters, whatever. Lets chat about futurama and anyone who wants to flame for liking it can and if they do, they can tell me what the point of flaming me for having an opinion is.

chapter 4: Preliminaries day 1: Snake gone mad Snake looked over at Noob who was half asleep. Suddenly the king yelled "Angelus please step up to the ring." A man in full guthans showed up and entered the ring. "Army of guthans guys please enter the ring." An army of people wearing guthans entered the ring. Only 50 could fit so they decided to just put 20 in the ring at once. "Please fight!" yelled the king. Nobody knew who was who so it was basically a massacre of the innocents. Nobody outside the ring could distinguish anyone and this pretty much went on for an hour and a half. Soon the king got bored and asked which person was Angelus. Everyone in the ring said "I" and the king told the guards to grab all the bodies and throw them into Varrock sewers. He then told the rest of the guthans guys to fight some more. Eventually one was left and the king crowned him the winner. The king announced it was lunch time and everyone walked off to their favorite pub for some good food. The fighters went inside the castle and were served more exquisite food. Snake of course ate slowly and eyed all the remaining people. He then walked off to the library. He saw a guy reading a book and saw that it was Archimage. "Killing an innocent? That is not like you." Archimage said. "I just could not stop. I...I think I need some time by myself." "I have been reading up on hellhounds." "Why?" "Because I knew that when you touch the saliva of a hellhound you get a thirst for blood and will eventually go nuts and kill everyone to get blood." "No way! I could not become someone like that." "Did you have any second thoughts before killing that man?" "I kind of did but..." He trailed off as he looked at Archimage. "You! You want me killed because you know I am going to win the fighting tournament! You are going to tell the king and he is going to kick me out!" "No...I just feel that it is bad that you have gotten bitten..." "I will kill you! You are jealous of my power! Burn in hell!" Royal guards rushed in and pushed Snake down. They held onto his arms and legs. Snake used all his strength to break free of their grasp and got up. He ran at Archimage and Archimage's codex bubble appeared. Snake punched it and when he did he felt a sensation that knocked him cold. Archimage looked at Snakes limp body. The guards got up and rushed to grab him. "Take him to the medical ward and i will try to create a serum to his problem. Oh, and if he starts to look like he is morphing into something its probably a hellhound. Tell me if this happens." The guards looked at Archimage and laughed. "O.K we will alert you if the scary hellhound awakens from inside the scary murderers body." said one of the guards. "He is not a murderer!" said Archimage. "Then what do you call his attack on you?" "A symptom of hellhound saliva." "Your a nut!" "Whatever." Archimages codex bubble appeared and all of a sudden the guards were saying "We will tell you when the transformation begins." "Good." Archimage walked off and went to the apothecaries house. At the sewers, four guards were heaving bodies into the sewer. They took the armor and threw the bodies down, thinking they could make a huge profit off of the armor. Once all the bodies were down the guards looked at there rather heavy cart of guthans armor and started jumping and laughing. One of the guards tripped and fell into the sewer. He fell on the bodies and said "I'm all right", when all of a sudden he started screaming. A terrible tearing sound was heard and the guards screamed as some of the bodies jumped out of the sewers and said "We wants ours armor backs." The guards ran and all of a sudden ran into a set of 3 more of the zombies. All three of them screamed as the zombies tore them to shreds. The scream was heard by Archimage as he was walking to the Apothecaries. He ran to where it was coming from and saw the guards get eaten. Archimage watched as the zombies dragged the bodies and dumped them into the sewer and grabbed a cart full of guthans armor. They dumped all the armor into the sewer and then hopped into it themselves. Archimage decided he would go in there later and check everything out but right now he needed to worry about Snake. Meanwhile a match between grumpy mod and mutant autoer was on. Mutant Autoer was trying to escape to the yew tree behind the castle but could not as Grumpy mod killed him with a kick to the back of the head. As people screamed and cheered at the fight Archimage was looking at the ingredients the Apothecary had. He would need the blood of a pheonix to get everything he needed. The apothecary sold this at five hundred thousand a pop. Archimage bought it and cursed Snake under his breath. "You better pay me back." he said and went back to the castle. Snake had transformed and the guards were sleeping. Snake the hellhound walked out of the castle and into the foyer where he ate the two guards at the doors heads off. He then jumped down the stairs and into the courtyard where he ate a few of the fighters heads. The king screamed and Snake the hellhound saw him and ran to the wall. He then jumped up the stairs and sliced the guards and the heroes guild members just jumped to safety. The king tried to jump. Snake the Hellhound jumped at him. Archimage saw the king fall and put a levitation spell on him. Snake the Hellhound then dropped onto his paws and ran at Archimage. Archimage levitated Snake the hellhound as he jumped at him. Archimage then opened the vial with the cure and dumped it into Snake the Hellhounds open mouth. Snake the hellhound turned back into Snake and Archimage watched as Snake said "Could you put me down." Suddenly guards walked up to Snake. "Guards, kill him!" yelled the king. Archimage told them to stop. They stopped. Archimage put the king on the ground as he was still levitating and the king stared at Archimage. Archimage explained everything and the king and crowd and guards laughed. Some were not laughing though and Archimage gave respect to those that did not laugh. Snake got up and rubbed his head. He looked around at everyone staring at him. "What did I do?" Archimages codex bubble convinced everyone the story was true and Snake was not hanged and the King and his men got back together at the top of the wall and started the next fight. The heroes guild people did not show up till the next day. So the fights went on and they became more and more gruesome. To be continued

chapter 3: preliminaries day 1: enemy in hiding Snake was in the foyer of the castle. The doors to the castle were open and sunlight spilled onto the tiles. Snake was looking at the crowds of people who were trying to get a good seat. Some came into the castle to find a seat on top of the castle. There were small children coming to see this brutal and violent game. Some parents should not be parents, thought Snake. Archimage walked out of the dining room and patted Snake on the back. "Good luck on your match." "Like I need it." replied Snake. Archimage sat on a chair that was in front of a window. "I heard that you and the king had a fight after breakfast." "Rumors go around fast don't they?" "Yeah. Anyway, you think a necromancers involved?" "Yes. I know a necromancers involved. Go behind the west bank and look at the gravestones. Every fighters names are on one. The guy can predict deaths. Reldo said that means he must be close to the grim reaper if he can predict death." "I guess so. Anyway i better get my fighting stuff out and prepare for my fight tonight." "See you later." Snake watched as Archimage walked upstairs to the fighters training rooms. A man in complete black robes with a hood that engulfed his face in shadows walked up to Snakes gravestone. He spread his fingers over it and more writing began to appear beneath the original writing. The man then pulled his hand away in mid-sentence and noticed a man walk up to him. "Who might you be?" the man asked. "None of your buisssnessss." replied the hooded guy. "You are touching my gravestone." The man stumbled over the gravestone and fell. "Sssnake pleassss dont kill me." "Who the hell are you?" The man removed his hood and showed an old, wrinkled face. "Carter? I thought you died." exclaimed Snake. "No, I faked my death." "What are you doing here?" "Your father has asssked me to follow you and make sssure your sssafe." "From what?" asked Snake. "You will find out sssoon enough." Carter than teleported away. Snake returned to the castle once again and saw he was just in time to line up on the stairs. Those graves have been creating some nervousness. He of course was not scared but just wondered why someone had marked him for death. The king stood up and just as he did a cry could be heard. "My king look what we found!" A man wearing the clothes of a high priest walked up the walls stairs and showed the king a carcass of what looked like the hellhound Snake killed the other night. The king looked disgusted. He scrunched his nose up and ordered the man to give the body to the Varrock museum for study. Then he stood up more dignified than before and pointed out the next match. "Snake please enter the arena." Snake walked in with no armor on and with only a dragon dagger in his hand. "Arrowbld please enter the arena." A guy wearing monks robes and a lederhosen hat with a rune scimitar and kite shield in hand entered. "Let the battle commence!" yelled the king. Arrow stared as Snake walked up to him slowly. Arrow being walking too and then tried to slice down at Snake's chest. Snake took his dagger and blocked the blow. He then used his full strength to push up and the Rune scimitar was hurled into the air. It landed at the left end of the arena. Arrow used his shield to block Snakes attacks as he ran to his scimitar. When he was close to it Snake jumped over Arrow and kicked the weapon out of the arena. A lucky child grabbed it and ran off. "You know I am just toying with you?" Snake said with a smirk. Arrow ran at Snake and pushed the shield into Snakes face. Snake grabbed Arrows hand at the last second and twisted so hard that he cracked a bone. Arrow screamed as Snake grabbed him and threw him to the arena's floor. Snake then stepped on his head so hard it exploded. Blood and brains flew all over the arena and all over the people watching. Snake grabbed the body and threw it onto the stretcher that two medics brought out. They then went to the graveyard. Snake walked out of the arena and shook hands with some people. The king then stood. "Not even a scratch Snake?" Snake shook his head and some people screamed in awe. Snake then sat on the stairs to the castle and listened as the king brought out the next matches contestants. At the graveyard the medics saw the gravestones and looked terrified as they saw there own gravestones. They dug a grave for Arrow quickly and scooped the dirt over his body. Suddenly something grabbed the one of the medics legs and pulled him down. The medic screamed as he saw his assailant. It was a giant mass of flesh with one eye missing and blood seeping out of his missing eyes socket. It bent down and began to feed on the helpless medics brains. The other medic ended up dying of shock. There bodies were buried by the zombie and they were never seen again. Dragonbait was wearing full rune and ash was wearing nothing but his mithril scimitar. Dragonbait was slicing Ash up. Ash was beat to a pulp and dragonbait let him live. That match was apparently bad because everyone was shouting "Boo" and "Kill him wimp". The king then stood and signaled for silence as he asked where his medics went. Nobody knew. The king thought for a moment about the necromancer but decided to dismiss this thought and instead had the guards bring Ash into the castle for treatment for his deep wounds. The king then announced the next match. This match was quite unfair looking... To be continued

chapter 2:The first night of the tournament Snake looked around him. The cold sensation grew and grew until it totally engulfed him. The shades walked toward him. No one noticed them except Snake. The shade raised an old, withered looking hand and Snake stood up. The shade stopped in front of Snake and grabbed his chin. Snake could not shake his hand away. He was paralyzed. Then, he saw another shade walk up to the one holding Snake and poke Snakes shade. The shade dropped Snake as he followed the other shades pointed hand to Noob. Noob was stealing a whip from someone. The guy noticed. He stood up and grabbed Noob, then noticed the shades. Noob handed him his whip and the guy threw Noob into a wall. Snake saw the guy run at the shade and snap the whip right on its head. It let out a piercing scream that woke up everyone around. The fighters took out their weapons and piled on to fight the shades. Once the two shades were nothing but a pile of dust, a hellhound appeared and jumped onto Noob. Snake ran and grabbed the hound upper and lower jaw. He then pushed with all his might and split the dogs head in half. Blood leaked all over Noob. More cries as a small army of shades ran down the street, heading towards them. There must have been ten but as Snake looked into the dark alley's, he saw more appear out of nowhere. Snake looked around and saw everyone wide eyed as more and more appeared. Suddenly, a guy using Ancient Magiks attacked the shades with ice barrage. Some fell while others took out there knives and through them at him. All of them penetrated his skin and he died. More and more shades were appearing. Snake had an idea. He took out his lava battlestaff and prepared a spell. All of a sudden, from out of nowhere, a shade came up behind him and snapped his staff in half. Snake looked the shade straight in the eye and said "That was my favorite staff." He then kicked the Shade in the face and caught a sword that some guy threw to him. Snake plunged it through the shades head and the shade turned to ashes. Snake looked at the sword. A bronze short sword? He sure must be powerful to kill that shade with this piece of junk. Noob was hiding behind a guy with full black dragon hide on. He was wielding a dark bow and killing a bunch of shades. Snake was getting tired. He had not slept in days and needed some rest for his fight tomorrow. Snake walked to the general store. He kicked the lock door open and peered inside. He saw what he was looking for and grabbed it. He then ran outside and grabbed some ink out of his bag. (Snake writes stuff to what little friends he has.) He pored it around the fighters and lit it with the tinderbox he stole from the store. It burned high and the shades shrieked as they turned to a mist and wisped away into the night sky. "How did you know?" asked a curious man wearing full steel. "Experience." replied Snake. The fire continued to burn in a controlled state, (thanks to a helpful persons magic) and the warriors got to sleep. The next morning they were awoken early by a crowd of people who wanted autographs. The warriors told them later and dragged there sleepy selves to the castle. Inside, the table was set with a magnificent looking breakfast. The warriors ate like they had not eaten in weeks except for Snake who ate very slowly. Only one man dared to stare at Snake and that man was Archimage, one of Snakes only friends. He stared and then smiled. Snake was to sleepy to be happy and just nodded his head in recognition. The king, in this elaborate clothes, then walked in and greeted the warriors. "Today will be a great day for some and a bad day for others. For all you know, it may be the day some of you die. Today will be an exciting day. I hope you are prepared for the fights will be happening well past sundown. We will light bonfires around the castle to ward off the shades. My guard saw you last night. A valiant effort and good teamwork. I will give you better sleeping acommadations tonight. Well then, see you at the fight!" Snake got up and followed the king on his side. "Sir the shades were in numbers last night. Some suspected you are dealing with them. One of the fighters died because of your challenge. Shouldn't we wait till later, once the preliminaries are over, before we do these challenges?" "That was just a fun little game. I was not involved in any way. I swear on Saradomin!" "Well then who could have done it? They never travel in large packs like that!" "That is true. Usually around four in a pack. The shades must have sensed some of there own die and brought themselves." "I think its a plot." "By who?" "After the fight last time rumors were spreading of a mysterious figure bringing a gravestone with Pker's name and birth on it. It was carved in the shape of Saradomin's holy crest." "That is something I have pondered about. It is quite wierd don't you think?" "I think that guy was a necromancer!" "That is very dumb deduction. Necromancer's have not been around since the third age!" "But legend speaks..." "Legends? That is all I want to hear Mr.?" "Snake." "Snake carry on." Snake walked away from the king. He then went to the library. Reldo was researching some type of historical tome. "Reldo?" Asked Snake. "Snake old friend! How's it going?" "Pretty well. Anything you can tell me about report of necromancers in the fourth age and now?" "There have been reports, but the people who tell them seem to die suddenly. Reports have been scarce these days." "I think Varrock has a necromancer in it." "How do you think that?" Snake explained everything that happened that night. "Hmm, well i will get to you later. Right now i would be prepping for your fight with Arrowbld." "He will be easy." "Pker seemed like a loser but he still spilled some of Aj's blood." "One more question." "Yes?" "Can necromancers predict death?" "Really powerful ones who are close associates with death can." Snake walked out. All the evidence pointed toward a necromancer involved. Snake had heard tales of necromancers raising shades and Snake always thought that as true. Snake walked to Varrocks west bank and looked behind it. Gravestones everywhere. He saw arrowbld's. He must win then. He looked around and saw his own gravestone, marked on it the words: "Killed by the last of his kind." To be Continued... Comments? Tell me which one you like better the fighting tournament saga or the comedy saga. Also who is your favorite character? More later. Until next time people...

But yeah it wasn't better than the originals because they can't really be compared, one is about people having a laugh and the other is about people being serouis...it wasn't a let down, so yeah you can write a serouisly and you can write funnierly. Funnierly? Well, i thought it was better to be serious. I think this will turn out to rock.