Harakiri

I'm gonna get Diablo II for christmas since I'm bored of RS...

^^^Cool Dark Tower avvie man. Otherwise, I watched it and it was a pathetic excuse for anything. First of all, Jack Black hosted it, which completely screwed it from the start. Secondly, it had GTA4 as the game of the year, which I cannot wholely disagree on, it was a great game, but there is no definitive game of the year, personally, knock out Fallout 3 and Gears, and those are the three greatest games of the year. Ones not better than the other, I found all of them to be perfectly good. Also, they showed the preview for Brutal Legend. Too much Jack Black, I finally see the preview, and I said: "Holy [cabbage]...what the hell is this?" First of all, it had Jack Black in it, second of all, it was a horrible preview. Third of all, it has not found a publisher. And then weezer had to show, and they sounded like [cabbage]... The VGA's were a joke...

Lol

I know...its just a piece of [cabbage] I wrote for school...maybe I'll write something else over christmas...

http://superobamaworld.com/ great fun if you need something to do and need a laugh... It involves you going through Alaska killing tax payers and pigs, as well as collecting american flag lapel pins. Get the sweet potato pie to become super Obama!

The Archers chase complete! Prologue CIA Headquarters; Langley, Virgina December 21, 2008 Nathan Archer sat in a leather arm chair, across from his boss, the director of the CIA, Andrew Paine. Andrew sat at his desk, tapping a pencil impatiently on the top of it. Papers were strewn about it, most containing news and other things that he might have wanted to know. Right now, he had stacks of papers containing information on the recent attacks in Mumbai on the Taj Hotel. Nathan knew that he was eventually going to be sent after this new sect of terrorists, who witnesses reported as being like a SWAT team. They knew their stuff, which meant someone powerful and really highly known in the military had to train them. Nathan looked at his boss, and looked at the pencil. He had just been asked a serious question. The CIA was under pressure more so than ever, due to the terrorist attacks and threats surfacing about. The economic troubles had not hindered their work, and they were at the moment, pretty skim on people to send on new missions. Most agents were in the Middle East, a couple were off in Japan and China, watching the insurgence of the Triads and Yakuza. Only one agent was getting yelled at, and that was Nathan Archer. Nathan screamed out loud. I killed him! It was my fault! I could have shot the assassin! I was too afraid, too busy watching my friend bleed to death on the floor at my feet! Nathan threw a punch at Andrew's desk. The desk shook slightly. Nathan, I know it was hard to watch your best friend die. I have seen it. Please settle down. Nathan was in Somalia, stopping the pirates who were trying to take over cruise ships. He was on one of these ships, and helped stop an attack. He then learned that the pirates were being paid by an assassin to hijack ships. Nathan and his partner, who had been aiding him on the boat, both were asleep in a small, run down hotel, when he awoke to the sound of his best friend screaming, and the tearing of flesh. He then watched as the assassin got away, throwing a card to Nathan. Why he let Nathan live he could not figure out. Nathan toyed with the card now. Andrew watched. So, you got invited to dinner by an assassin? Yes. Nathan laughed. I'm going to kill him. It might be a trap. Think about that for a moment. This man could be setting you up. I read the file on this Black Sun restaurant, and I must say that the people who frequent the place are quite shady. The head chef is known to be a mobster, and all the other chefs also seem to have criminal records. I'll take guns then. I can fight them. You better hope so, these people are ruthless. The head chef has killed a number of people, including a politician who was at the restaurant. What happened to the chef though? Nothing, he was under suspicion, but was able to frame a local group of thugs. Boy were these men surprised to find a politicians body in their safehouse's freezer. I'm heading to Spain then. I need to kill this assassin. I need to know that his soul will rot! Quiet poetic Nathan. I'll allow you this assignment, but I better have results. There are more important assignments I could be sending you on. I always get results. Sir. Nathan tipped his head, and then left the room. Chapter 1: Leads Black Sun Restaurant; Mora, Spain December 22, 2008 Nathan sat in the corner of the small, fancy restaurant, drinking a wine that his host had suggested. It was alright, nothing too special. Nathan wore a double breasted suit. Beneath it, he hid his pistol, a Smith and Wesson model. There was a candle on the table, and Nathan watched it sway about as a gust of wind went by when the doors to the kitchen beside him opened. It was the only entertainment besides watching the patrons slowly drink and laugh. It was like he was in a time warp where everything went slowly. He knew something was not right. A waiter approached him with his dinner. Fillet Mignon. Nathan ate appreciatively, he had not eaten this good for quite a while. Most of the time on a mission, he had to go to drive-throughs since his schedule was so busy. Eventually, Nathan finished his meal. The waiter went by and picked up his plate, whispering in his ear, The head chef wishes to see you. Nathan entered the kitchen doors, and was amused to see the head chef right in the entryway to the kitchen. Nathan Archer, how I have longed to meet you! Nathan laughed. How nice to see you Mr? Bond. James Bond. Nathan rolled to the side as a gun went off. A chef behind Mr. Bond held a Colt .45 in his hand, shaking slightly. Nathan pulled his gun from behind his jacket and shot the chef with the gun. He missed. The other chefs started to pull pots, pans, and knives from the area and proceed toward the entryway. Nathan felt a foot stomp on his arm, his gun clattered to the ground. His waiter. The brown loafers all the waiters wore twisted on Nathan's arm until the room was filled with an earsplitting CRACK! Nathan screamed in agony. His arm was broken. The head chef was about to stomp down on Nathans head, but Nathan was able to grab his foot with his good hand and make him fall to the ground. The chef passed out as his head hit the tile floor. Nathan then found a cart next to him, where utensils were placed in little plastic boxes full of soap water, and bottles of Windex stood. Nathan grabbed a fork from the box on the cart, and stabbed it into the waiters leg. The waiter screamed and got off of Nathan's arm. Nathan saw his arm was screwed around, and grabbed it. He grabbed the waiters arm and bit down as he realigned his arm. CRACK! Both the waiter and Nathan screamed. Nathans arm still felt horrible, but at least he had fixed it. One of the other chefs came up behind Nathan with a pan. Nathan grabbed the mans arm and lunged down on it. It broke. Nathan then punched the man in the face, and threw him into the oncoming waiter. They both fell to the ground. Nathan ran into the kitchen and ducked as one of the chefs swiped at him with a knife. Nathan kicked the mans stomach and then did a roundhouse kick to the side of the mans head. He fell to the ground, writhing in pain. The last two chefs came at him, one with a knife, one with two pans. Nathan found a large soup pot with hot water and threw it off of the oven it was heating on. It splashed all over the two chefs legs. They screamed, and they both dropped their weapons. Nathan rammed into both of them like a football star. They both fell into the hot water lying in a puddle on the floor. Nathan picked his gun up from the floor next to the unconscious head chef. He then dragged the chef out into the dining area. The people at the tables screamed as Nathan waved his gun. Todo bajo control. ¡Fuera de aquí! Nathan yelled at the people. Everythings under control. Get out of here! Nathan was fluent in Spanish, and kept yelling at the people in the language. The people obeyed, running out and screaming. Nathan dragged the man outside. The cobblestone streets were not too wide, and large, stone houses stood ominously over Nathan. It was the epitome of a horror movie city. There was a large dark alley around the corner of the restaurant where a couple tin garbage cans stood. Nathan dragged the man back there and then kicked him in the stomach. UGH! ¿Dónde estoy? Where am I? Nathan laughed. Morir en el callejón de atrás de su restaurante. Dying in the back alley of your restaurant. YOU! The chef spoke in English. Me. So, I have a couple questions. Answer truthfully. I know when someone tells a lie. I can hurt you if you tell a lie. The chef spat at Nathan's feet. Nathan kicked him in the ribs. Answer me. Who do you work for? Zach. Zach? Zach Archer was a notorious double agent of the NSA. He was a man who ended up becoming an assassin so he could purge the sins he committed when the NSA told him to kill a room full of innocent people. Now, he was being sought after by the NSA. Zach Archer was Nathan's younger brother. No wonder Nathan was left alive that night. He was family. Nathan looked back at the writhing man below him. Where is he at? Egypt! Where? Cairo! On his way to Giza to meet an accomplice! Who else is with you? We get funds from the Yakuza! Please let me live! Nathan walked out of the alley and down the street. He found his car, a Ford Escalade, and drove off, to the airport. Cairo; Museum of Egyptian Antiquities December 23, 2008 _________________________________________________ Zach Archer walked around the Museum of Egyptian Antiquities. He was currently inside of a large room, housing quite a few mummies wrapped in ancient bandages. His cell phone was on vibrate, as was the rule of this museum, and when he felt a tingle down his leg, he knew his accomplice had some information for him. He answered it. Hello? He whispered. Really, shall I meet you there tonight? At the moment I am admiring the Ancients. Zach continued down the row of glass cases, gazing at each mummy. The Sphinx? Fine with me. Set your sniper near the pyramid of Khafre. A large limestone statue of Ramses II stood before Zach. He gazed at it, eyes alight. Yes, I am prepared for this. I'm at the museum because I love the subject of Ancient Egypt. Such amazing architecture and statues. Zach followed up a set of stairs into a smaller room containing busts of various Pharaohs. I know, I will head to the Louvre once this job is done, and then to both of the Egypt museums in London. I would live here, but a white man in this area is not the best position at this time. Good bye Oba. Zach put his cell phone into his pocket. He then continued around the museum for the rest of the day. Chapter 2: Meeting at the museum Cairo; Museum of Egyptian Antiquities December 23, 2008 _________________________________________________ Nathan Archer stood inside of the museum, gazing at the large statue of the god of death Osiris. Nathan did not revere Ancient Egypt as much as his brother, but he knew some things about the culture. Nathan's arm had been put in a cast in Spain. After dealing with some of the cops who showed up, he then got to a small hospital on the outskirts of town, right near the airport. Nathan knew it would be a pain to fight anyone with his broken arm. It would especially be a pain if he figured his suspicions were true, and that Zach was here. The ensuing fight would probably leave Nathan back in a hospital. Another thing that did not help was the fact that the personnel of the museum would not let in weapons. Nathan knew his brother was in here. Zach had always wanted to go to this museum, see what Egyptian antiquities were on display. It was a really neat museum, so much old stuff, but Nathan had no time to look around. Nathan walked through parts of the museum, searching for his brother. He had to be here, either here or the Sphinx, another spot on his To Go List. Zach Archer had seen his brother. The CIA agent was nearing Ramses II's coffin. Zach followed behind, mingling with the crowds, trying to hide himself the best he could. Nathan was good. He knew a lot about Zach, enough to find the location he was at. Zach knew that the chefs at that kitchen could not kill Nathan. He thought they would at least severely injure him. He did not want to have to cripple his own brother... Nathan entered a dark room, both sides of the door flanked with statues of Anubis. Zach got out of the crowd, and entered into the unpopulated room. Nathan was in a dark room, small little pin[puncture]s of light telling him where an exhibit was at. He passed a glass case with a mummy, and found that this room might be a good place to wait and see if Zach were here... Thats when Nathan crashed into the glass that encased the mummy. Glass shoved into his back. Nathan screamed. Zach Archer stood before Nathan. I knew you would find me. Zach said. Why not kill me yourself back in Somalia, Zach? Nathan asked, coughing up blood. Because, I did not want to kill my own brother. I sent you to Dark Sun, thinking they would take care of you, get you into a hospital, at least until I could run somewhere else. I have jobs to do Nathan, and you are not one of my hits. I had hired the pirates so I could make money. I got enough that I started my own assassination service. It was getting funded by the Yakuza, and I also found other gangs behind me, ready to strike if something came up. But then, you came along and ruined my fundings. I was stuck with no one giving me money but the Yakuza, which is not enough. I had to make you pay. I killed that other agent, and as I said, hoped the chefs would take care of you. Lousy gangsters apparently. Why are you here? Asked Nathan. I have a hit. And now, me and my new fellow sniper are ready to get rid of the Prime Minister. Nathan was not shocked. He kind of saw it coming. The Prime Minister was going to be giving a speech that night to the Egyptian people, at the Sphinx. Why'd you leave the NSA? They were twisted. I killed civilians! Instead of the terrorists that were supposedly in the building, their were fourteen children, five women, and twenty men. I killed them all! Nathan took this chance to grab a piece of glass in his good arm, and swipe at Zach's neck. Zach ducked, grabbed Nathans other arm, and used it to lunge him over his shoulders. Nathan flew in the air for a half a second before crashing into another case containing a mummy. By now, people were crowding in, and guards were running in between the two men. Zach took one of the guards and punched him in his face, before spinning him around and snapping his neck. Zach took the guard's gun and noticed Nathan's cast. So they did hurt you a bit. Zach Archer shot the air, and the crowd screamed, running away. Zach ran out of the room, and found a tall window next to a giant ankh. He jumped through it, and hit the ground rolling. Police sirens were getting near. Zach ran to a nearby building and began to search for a place to hide this out. His car was on the other side of the police and the crowd, and there was going to be no way of getting through. Nathan Archer was wheeled off to a hospital. The police were screaming, and Nathan heard it as he had dreams of his childhood, of him and Zach fighting playfully. Zach noticed a large gutter on the side of the museum. Its drain led all the way up, and was perfect. Zach Archer ran to it, and climbed it to the roof. He then crawled, hoping no one would notice him. Helicopters could be heard in the distance. News crews. Zach hurried across, and eventually, was able to slide off a drainage pipe to the parking lot. No one noticed him as he scurried to his Jeep, and drove to a security stop. Your the man on camera! Said a man who spoke in disjointed English; You tah mayn on cameya. Zach grabbed his neck, and knocked the man out. Zach drove off as fast as he could. They knew his face. His brother would probably tell them something. He had to get out of the country. He had to get the Yakuza to send him a private jet. Chapter 3: The beginning of the end Tokyo, Japan; Golden Teahouse December 24, 2008 Archer, what have you done? Asked a man in a black suit, sitting at a long table at the back of the Golden Teahouse. The Yakuza's emergency meeting was taking place. Zach Archer was the cause, having to have a private jet get him out of Egypt. Plus, his assassination attempt on the P.M was a bust, the police captured Oba, and now he had given away everything about the Yakuza. Plus, Nathan Archer, the biggest threat to the Yakuza, was alive. I have only done what I thought was right. Zach replied, with a smirk. The people at the table all had swords. Fourteen people, all adept at the sword, fourteen people wanting to kill Zach. Fourteen people who were about to be killed. We have paid hefty sums to your assassinations Archer. We have given you refuge. We have been giving you many chances, and now you fail hard. The reward for killing you is great, and we could then get back the money we paid you, and get revenge for your failure. I did not fail...I miscalculated. And you failed! Everyone knows who you are, everyone is looking for you, a CIA agent is about to come to us and probably kill us all or worse. This Yakuza boss was a pain, and Zach was preparing go to his hip, where his sword clung to his belt, and use it like he was taught. So, will you give up your life without a fight, or shall we fight? I will kill you all, you have no reason to fight me... Except for the fact that you blew us wide open in the process of failing. I'm sick of you... Zach Archer drew his sword, and waited for the fourteen men around the table to draw their swords. We will not rest till your dead Archer. Suddenly, there was a crash. Oh, just on time. Zach grinned. Nathan Archer pushed through the crowd of fleeing patrons. A band stood on a stage at the front, and they drew swords. Nathan had his own sword. He was trying to be honorable. These people were very big when it came to death, and they wanted to die with the honor of knowing they put up the fight of their lives. Nathan Archer would sure give them the fight of their lives. The four band members raised their swords and ran at Nathan. Nathan raised his sword and blocked two overhead slices, rolling to the left and cutting a mans legs off. The man screamed as his upper body fell to the ground. The three others then proceeded on Nathan. Nathan got up and parried all attacks like an expert, taking an occasional swipe, tearing off a limb or decapitating someone. When all four were dead, Nathan found a staircase leading to a private room. He broke into it. Zach Archer saw his brother come in and laughed. The more the merrier. Five men were lying on the ground, dead. Only nine more. Nathan helped destroy the Yakuza, until the only one left was the boss. Zach ran at him, and dodged a forward swing, getting behind the boss and stabbing him in the spinal cord. The Boss slumped over, and died. That was boring. Zach said, pointing his sword at Nathan's chest. I should have known it would come to this. Zach threw a card at Nathan and walked by him. Zach Archer left the teahouse. Nathan read the card. Osaka hotel rooftop. Tomorrow morning. Merry Christmas. Lets finish this. Nathan threw the card away and ran out of the restaurant as the police appeared. Nathan Archer is going to fight his brother on the Osaka hotel tomorrow. Good lord, Merry Christmas, your present is to kill your brother. The director of the CIA and the director of the NSA sat together in a coffee shop, sipping their mochas occasionally, but talking incessantly. The end of all this is tomorrow. Send some teams to back up Nathan. No, we'll let him deal with this. Chapter 4: Endgame Osaka Hotel December 25, 2008 Nathan and Zach stood on opposite sides of the roof. It was barren, nothing but a stairwell. A camera panned back and forth next to the stairwell door, but the brothers did not care. Zach ran at Nathan. Nathan grabbed one of Zach's arms, but Zach struck first, kicking Nathan's feet from beneath him. Nathan fell, and rolled to the side as Zach's foot came down. Nathan got up, and tackled his brother. Zach kneed him below the belt, and Nathan screamed. Zach punched Nathan in the face and grabbed his broken arm. Nathan fell to the ground, throwing his brother over him and to the ground as well. Zach got up first, kicking Nathan in the face. Nathan began to bleed severely. I was always better Nathan. Zach said, laughing. Nathan grunted. And I was always smarter. An electrical box stood underneath the camera. Nathan tackled his brother again, this time, shoving him into the electrical box. Zach began to shake. Electricity ran through his entire body. Nathan grabbed his head, and threw Zach through the door to the stairwell. Zach Archer screamed as he noticed his clothes were on fire. He pulled them off, revealing his masculine torso. DIE NATHAN! Zach threw a punch, but held in his other hand a knife. Cheater! Nathan let the knife enter his stomach. He then kicked his brothers stomach. The knife caused no pain, only soaked him more in blood. Zach held onto the stairs guardrail. Nathan clotheslined his brothers neck. His brother fell over, his head cracking on some stairs four stories below. Nathan laughed for a second, and then fell over to the ground. Nathan dreamed of nothing but dying. Epilogue: Christmas Present CIA Headquarters, Langley Virginia December 25, 2008 Nathan Archer stood in his bosses office, staring across the table at the man. Your on leave for the next month. Go to the Bahamas or something. Just stay away from fighting, that knife wound will split open if you do anything involving physical activity. Nathan grinned. Its over sir. Thank god. Sorry about your brother. He was dead anyways. On the inside. He was a body with no soul. You know that mission where he killed the innocents? Yeah. He was not the one who set off the bomb... What? It was the director of the NSA. He ran away. Where? We don't know, but we thought once you come back... Gimme a week to sit down. Then, lets find this guy and give my brother redemption. Its his fault this all happened. Exactly. See you in a week, we'll send a briefing to your house...but your wounds might get in the way. I can't feel pain anymore sir, I think I got used to it. Nathan Archer walked out of his bosses office, clenching his fists, and muttering something...

^^^I agree with Archi, thats [cabbage]...So Douglass Adams was trying to make the Hitchhiker series believable? Writing is supposed to be a fine line between reality and fantasy, its supposed to transport us to places in the authors mind. When I read a book, I expect to be somewhere unbelievable, some books I expect some believability, but the medium of writing is based on telling a story so people can enjoy it. If everything were made to be believeable then where would writing be, and how would it be exciting?

THE COFFEE SHOPPE DIRECTORY: The experimental coffee shoppe at the moment is under Archimages rule, and is different from what i so far envisioned, but here is a directory of coffee shoppe stories and guides. The coffee shoppe main thread Nom Anors Common Pitfalls And How to Avoid Them

O.K...so this is the experimental topic. Cool. I can't rewrite it, my style is completely different from yours and I can't rewrite anything other than my own stuff in the first place. It was a good story though...

Not pay attention during school for three years. Now, its not exactly destroying me, but I'm sure I lost a lot by not listening.

Keep barfing, all right, eventually, you'll barf so much you'll have nothing to barf...

ARGGH!! No! :wall: Your character is skating dangerously on the thin-ice of Mary-Sueism. I'm not saying that you have a code MS on your hands now, but when you describe him like this, that little flashing radar goes off. Especially when you later describe his "icy-blue" eyes. Description is essential, but who on earth would look handsome whilst starving? Have you seen pictures of concentration camp prisoners? That's what one looks like whilst starving. Wow...only you would think of that...god I'm glad your back...

Did you go to my school...? My teacher said that when she first started teaching here she did that. My teacher said that too.He learnt to regret it.Not in the sense that a higher authority was brought in,either. Wow...did we all go to the same school? One time a student said "Go to hell" and the teacher said "I'm already there". I LOL'd. One time the sex ed teacher told us to "Shut the hell up, quit laughing, and pay attention to the vagi** lady". The best thing a teacher has ever said...

I finally read it and I can see why you have a following, it was good. Not much I noticed that hasn't already been pointed out, but it is shaping up to be good...

[hide=] [/hide] Purple hair forever! 8-) Index em or whatever...

My friend was gonna name his kids Satan and Jesus... "Satan, stop fighting with Jesus." What an a-hole...

My best friend was in the corner, and he "Supossedly" was trying to zip his pants... He was caught by the teacher, and god she was laughing really hard. Also, one of the pieces of crappy chicken the lunch people made caught on fire and we got evacuated. One time a squirrel killed itself by chewing the powerline, and it ended up cutting power to the school. Out of school for two hours because of sewage problems. One of the kids scared a bunch of people saying that the microwave in the teachers lounge was a bomb. (This was after 9/11) The field trip for sex ed...never will we be the same again...

Yeah, well I live in Illinois, and I must say its better than most of the damn places in the U.S. Its quiet, and who cares about politics? Where would you be without our corn and beans? Eh? I know I would not be bored if they mowed down all the farms and made a damn Disney World...but the corns still nice...

Anything by Pink floyd...

Dethklok and Lamb of God would be my contenders... Any of the really really hard core stuff I can't listen to.

OMG! I remember watching that as a kid... That dude in the green with the sword and that girl with the weird get ups... good times......OR MAYBE NOT! :lol:

nobodies suggested the orange box?

RE4 had to be when there were two of those blind guys (Garradors right?). I did not see one come and I was on a wall. I stuck its claws through my face and sliced open my stomach.

What do you want: siggie Type of Sig etc: Abstract Dimensions: 350X150 Text: Ratchet573 Sub-Text: Better than Lucario...a writing Lucario! Font: http://www.dafont.com/sansation.font Render: http://planetrenders.net/renders/displa ... pos=-36586 C4D or Fractals: none Additional info: A blue and Black background would be cool That what cha need?

Devil May Cry: [hide=]The fruity final boss...the final part was kinda cool...[/hide] Devil May Cry 2: [hide=]The whole game made me say "Holy [cabbage]! How could they screw up this bad?"[/hide]