Harakiri

Sup dude? Or blue jay... Anyway, the brackets were the only funny parts. And I know that since all I wrote was Snake and Noob for like 3 months, it is probably a pain in the [wagon] to not see it as Snake and Noob (gore, violence from beginning to end, Zamorack, I think I overused hellhounds in Snake and Noob, a weapon that is powerful as hell, yup, I can see where you see the stuff that soinds alike.).

LOL...Its always fun to include characters who keep on saying fun things about eternal damnation! Especially when they are power hungry and work for a god that seems to appear in almost every story I write...odd. Blood is always great to add to your story because it makes the story adult. You don't want a child to read your story. Plus, god only knows why, but I can describe gore very good.

Name: Leon S. Kennedy Age: 24 Race: survivor Equipment: Knife, pistol Bio: After surviving an attack by zombies in racoon city, he became a government agent assigned to guard the presidents daughter. It did not turn out right as he had to fight the Los Illuminados, a cult of crazy people infected by a virus. Other: Got the hots for Ada. Name: Albert Wesker Age: Unknown Race: Leader of umbrella recon/ half zombie Equipment: Who needs equipment when you are an expert in hand to hand combat? Bio: The leader of the group "Umbrella" not much is known about wesker. He has died many times but came back and is thought to be a zombie-being himself. Other: Snaps necks with finesse.

Xewler, I have been busy as hell and I had to do something...currently working on a sprite comic that makes fun of sonic the hedgehog. Anywho, better post this before ECW come on. The blizzard completely blinded the man in the cloak as he made his descent from the slippery mountain a little ways north of the Death Plateau. He was having a hard time getting down, slipping a couple times and nearly falling of the mountain once. He was shivering. His armor and cloak did not prevent the cold from reaching his skin. His cloak dragged after him as he tripped on a slippery slope. He fell off the mountain. Suddenly he felt a lurch. His cloak was caught on a branch hanging from the mountain. It was gradually ripping. He looked below him and above him, desperately searching for a way to escape the fall and his eminent death. He could find nothing. He heard the fabric of his cloak tare. He felt another lurch and looked below him again. His deathbed lay in the cold snow below. His body would probably never be found. The cloak completely tore. He closed his eyes and started to fall, stomach first. He opened his left a little and could not believe his luck. An icy pool beneath him. He opened both eyes and fell through a thin sheet of ice and into the water. He could not breath. The water was to cold. He started to swim desperately but could not swim fast enough. He was to far below the surface, he had no hope of getting to the top. But then the whole sheet of ice above him exploded. A sword fell into the depths. The man strained to see it. He could see blood blocking his vision. The sword started moving towards him. The hilt suddenly placed itself into the mans open hand. The sword glowed a brilliant light and the sword flew through the water at speeds unimaginable. The sword and the man both broke the surface of the water and both landed on a pile of snow. The man thought he was dead but could tell he was not. He could see fine. He did not feel cold. The sword was heating him up because the snow began to melt very quickly. The man bent over and coughed up blood. He looked at himself, and saw shards of ice implanted in his stomach. His armor was drenched with blood and he could feel a hot wet liquid drizzling down his forehead. He grabbed the sword and began to walk away, when the sword suddenly swung out of his hand. It levitated in the air for a moment but suddenly took a swing at the man. The man could not dodge for it was too fast. He felt a mind numbing pain in his hand. He dare not look down but could not force himself to stop. His left hand was no more. There was his arm, half a wrist, and then nothing. Blood soaked his arm and dripped to the snow. His hand lay in the snow, a pool of blood where the sever was made. The sword suddenly fell and a man appeared before the cloaked man. He was wearing a red robe with a hood completely covering his face. "A gift from the dark lord." The robed man said. "Who the hell are you? Why did you cut off my hand?" "Because the dark lord wants you to have the hand of a god like being. You have to have a godlike hand in order to control this thing." He nodded down towards the sword. "Why me?" The man asked. The robed figure considered for a minute. "Because my boy, you were headed towards the god wars dungeon, the place where most mortals die and some escape. No one has ever retrieved the sword inside. We are handing it to you for free. It does have a small glitch though. It can cut through anything. If this went to the wrong people our land would be in ruin." "What do you want me to do?" "We want you to kill a couple people, that is all. The list is here, but in order to get it and the sword and the hand, you must sell your soul to Zamorack or forever live in damnation." "I sell my soul to Lord Zamorack! Please let me live, please help me." "Such a coward, lost a hand and you start to beg the dark lord. He see's great potential in you. Do not become His enemy." "Yes. Please, my hand, I am dying." The stump where the mans hand used to be suddenly grew large wires that jumbled together to create a wire hand. The man flexed it and looked at a large, thick piece of ice beside him. He flicked it and watched the ice fly everywhere. He picked up the sword and held his hand out. "Give me the list. It is time to kill a couple people." CHAPTER 1: GLITCH Sean moved his finger over the spines of some books in a bookcase in the Varrock library. He found what he was looking for and pulled it off the shelf. He quickly looked out a window in the room and then started a jog towards a sturdy table with random gibberish on it (a copy of Snake and Noob and a volume of Archimages tales for starters). Sean threw these books to the floor and opened his book. He flipped through the pages and found a page he liked. He started a quick read through the page. He looked up. He pulled a waterskin out of the backpack he always wore everywhere. Reldo was putting some fliers on a table right next to the door leading into the library. Sean opened his waterskin and poured it on the floor. "Crap!" He yelled and jumped up, acting irritated. "Oh, don't worry about it sir, I will go get a mop." Reldo walked out of the library. Sean ripped the page he was reading out of the book and stuffed it in his backpack. He waited for Reldo to get back and helped him mop up. Then he left. Outside, storm clouds blocked the sun and the palace guards were screaming something about a glitch in the fabric of the world. Sean knew what they were talking about because it was a wifes tale that his mom had told him. When The storm clouds were purple and black, it was supposed to be a glitch in the weather that could cause the end of civilization. Well, oddly enough, the clouds outside were completely purple and black and filled the sky. A light drizzle started and Sean could feel the rain drops [puncture] his skin. He walked faster. He found a spot near the town square fountain and sat down. He opened his bag and grabbed a bunch of fliers. He handed them out to passerby (guess who he stole these from on his way out of the palace?). He looked around. Nobody suspicious seemed to be anywhere around. He continued handing the fliers out and continued to look this way and that, searching for someone who looked out of place. And then he came. A lightning bolt came from the sky and blew the fountain to pieces (ever wonder what happened to the old fountain?). Sean got down on the ground and put his hands over his head as [racist term]s of granite from the fountain flew everywhere. He could feel the chunks slicing his back up. The chunks stopped flying and Sean turned around. Standing before him, holding the godsword in his hand, was the assassin. "I swear whatever I did wrong..." Sean started to say. "According to the list you have been using the power he gave you to steal valuables from others. You are a thief. And lord Zamorack despises your kind." "How could he, he is the dark lord. Is stealing not an evil thing to do?" "He does not care. he gave power so you could kill the kings and squires of the land and only one was killed. And for gods sake he governed draynor village. He cannot even be declared a squire. He can't even be called a mayor!" "But he was governing the people!" "And guess what? According to my list, he was "easily revived by a nameless old man who lives across the street from the bank." Tell me about that?" "I did not know there was a wise old man in draynor village who could do that..." "Enough! You will now be condemned to an eternity in a pit full of blood craving hellhounds." The man raised the sword over his head. He plunged it into Sean's stomach. Blood gushed around the sword. The sword was pulled out and the last thing Sean heard before his punishment was: "By the way, enjoy." NEXT: CHAPTER 2: SACKING Hope this was pretty good (longer than my usual stories). As the assassin said "Enjoy" my upcoming chapters.

Has nothing to do with snake and noob! BEWARE: May contain references to things people: a.)like to do or: b.) games people like to play Runescape is unlike any other RPG I have ever played for a couple reasons. The first thing, macroers. The second, Free to play is actually updated every eight months once. Third, the amount of scams the game has. Last, the crappy updates... Passage from: Runescape an RPG that has a funny name! Run escape? Oh god...that about sums up the whole f2p experience!+ A story of war over the internet. The battle of The Club Penguin Iceburg. And the death of the best. Real world feuds. And the internet being screwed. The people of runescape are bent on destroying all other RPG's while Jagex figures out how to stop it. A wise old man who lives in draynor knows a couple things. A bunch of other completely destructive things. King Arther and Zamorack team up? The ultimate saga of Runescape Vs. Other internet games. LIST OF CHAPTERS FOR PART 1 1: The Glitch 2:Sacking 3: Tearing a hole through the fabric of the internet 4: PENGUINS! 5: The team up 6: King Arther must die! 7: Zoologists and the flying unicorn 8: The entrance to the rift 9: Wikipedia is invaded! 10: World of Worldcraft is found out about 11: Destroying the ultimate RPG 12: REAL WORLD: The geeks of WOW revolt! 13: Club penguin 14: Burning the iceburg 15: Snowballs! 16: [garden tool] [garden tool] [garden tool] its Shanty Claws! 17: REAL WORLD: the internet in turmoil 18:The end of the clubs war 19: REAL WORLD: The governments strike 20: The wise old mans warning. Enjoy...I will post tomorrow and hopefully almost everyday. Like I said before nothing to do with Snake and Noob though with the storyline you would think it was affiliated... It is not solely humor. It is tragedy. Love. War. Adventure. Redemption. Revenge. And almost everything else I could think of. A little comedy. Thats it.

I don't...I don't believe in nothin' but science...though I do believe in ghosts and reincarnation...

Check this link out file:///C:/UnrealTournament/NetGamesUSA.com/ngStats/html/Individual_Game_Stats/Highest_Score/index.html I just got this ranking from playing a team deathmatch. Any1 here play the original? Good game. By the way...check the other links on that sight and Sean or sean will be all over the place! WOOT! I just had to rant about this. And by the way, I am gonna make a video of my insane team deathmatches so I'll tell you when they go onto youtube.

Interlude 1: VAMPIRE ORIGINS The vampire is a being of pure evil. It's only purpose in life is to suck blood and turn human souls into lifeless vessels. The humans, in turn, get a blood lust. This leads to whole populations getting turned into these zombie like creatures. The first recorded report of Vampire activity was at the end of the god war. Zamorack, as the myth goes, brought one of these creatures down in order for him to get payback from Sarradomin. This one creature converted a whole village into lifeless beings. The great hero, Zuklos, fought these vampires. He could not kill them in any way. As he fell to the ground, defeated by the vampires, he pulled a holy simple of Sarradomin from his breast pocket and clutched in his hands. As the vampires came down to suck his blood, they saw the symbol and seemed to shrivel. They ran away. Soon, the lands to the east were dying. The vampires set a council there. The council has never been seen. The building they resided in was seen by many, but not the council itself. And then, a wealthy man, named Lord Draynor appeared in front of the council building and destroyed it with one arm raised. The place blew apart and bodies were found in the ruins. They later found out that they were human bodies. But the people were too late. Lord Draynor, now head of the council, showed up in the lands to the west and built a village. This was the first time a vampire built a village specifically for the purpose of making an army. The world would fear him. But some hero's would stand against him and his army...

o.k...back on topic... changed it...watch hellraiser pts 1 and 2 to understand the second joke.

You would have to have read beowulf...If you have not...it was such heavy old english that more than half the class could not understand the first page.

1 is the first person 2 is the other person

As I continued to climb the ranks of the Varrock guards, an attack on Varrock made me lose my stature. When I was doing so well, and making the big money, I allowed a bunch of children make the city a living hell. They made a base in the city, and there was apparently one adult there. They were grabbing men from the back streets of Varrock and killing them. Some people thought they were cannibals, some thought they were sent from Zamorak. I found out about them the first murder. I ran through Varrock searching for them. I found a large house, and decided to enter and see what was inside. Nobody resided in the house...but then, I found a trap door hidden under a rug. I went down, not knowing what would happen down there. The scene I saw would be imprinted in my brain for the rest of my life,just like the scene of my mother and father's dead bodies. Men, naked and bleeding, were strapped to chairs. Children, carrying knives,ran around. One of the men held his hand out to me. That hand was chopped off by one of the children. That child met my gaze, and i saw nothing but hatred in his eyes. He knew not to run for me. He knew I would strike him down. My hand was on my swords hilt as I progressed slowly through the room. The dirt floor was moist, and the bodies of the dead hung from a chandelier, hands tied so that the body dangled down. The children stared. I knew they were crazy. I would not turn my back on any of them. I was not going to die. At the other end of the room, I found a door. I opened it and the shock of my adulthood came. There was my master from when I was a child. There he was in bed with a crying woman.There he was raping a woman. He looked at me and walked naked, toward his clothes. I closed the door and let him dress. I was going to kill him like any proper swordsman. "Why are you doing this to these children?" "It is not my fault, I am a mercenary, and it was my job to stay with these children and allow them to drink the blood of humans. In return I got money, and any women they found would be in bed with me." I drew my sword and plunged it into his belly. "You bastard...I don't care if it was a mission...you don't screw with women like that... who the hell are those children?" As blood stained his teeth and gushed out of his wound, around my still plunged sword, he said "It was the council..." More blood, this time dripping from his mouth. "What council?" "Vampires." His mouth foamed, and I drew my sword from his stomach. He fell before me. The woman on the bed drew the blanket around herself and ran from the room. Before I could follow her up the ladder, I felt a sharp pain on the back of my leg. I looked and saw a small kid holding onto a knife, planted in my skin. I kicked backward and the hilt of the knife hit the child, smashing some of his teeth to shards. Suddenly, a bombardment of children, all plunging knives into my legs. I tried to pull myself up the ladder. A sharp pain in my thigh kept me from focusing. A knife was planted in my thigh. I tore it out and threw it at a child climbing the ladder. I barely escaped with my life. The King made me a lower ranked guard after I was out of the hospital facility in the castle. He told me I should have blown them up with an explosive potion, or just killed them with my sword. Apparently, they had got away and were now operating in Falador, killing white knights. I would get my revenge... CHAPTER 2: Garth broke the silence in the small pub. All the men stared as he pulled his cloak off and showed his armor. He was an enforcer. They were a group of people who made sure the law was kept everywhere they went. That sucked that this enforcer decided to come today of all days. "All of you put the ale down and your hands up!" He drew his sword and waved it menacingly in front of him. A drunk man, the strongest man in the pub, wobbled toward the enforcer. "What'cha gonna do if we don'?" The man asked and raised a fist. The enforcer stared at the man menacingly and sheathed his sword. "Well, would you mind sitting down while I solve this problem?" The big man swung at the enforcer. The air in front of the enforcer shimmered and suddenly, he was behind the big guy. "Should not have tried." The enforcer punched the big guy. He flew through the wall and into a farming patch. "Now then," the enforcer said cheerily,"please stop yelling, the neighbors are trying to read and cannot read with you yelling like you are. So please keep quite or you may end up like the big man out there...maybe he'll sprout some sense after he wakes up in that farming patch! Get it?" Most were to drunk to get it while others tried to figure out why someone would make such a stupid joke as that. "Cheerio." The man said and left. .................................................... Kandra watched the enforcer from a wall on the other side of the pub. She was going to kill that idiot. For what he did to her. Kandra was eighteen when she commited a murder. She killed an old man who witnessed her stealing something. And then a year later she killed another person. And it continued for years. And then he came along and seduced her. Enticed her. Acted like they were lovers. The day they were supposed to get married he arrested her. He was a nasty man. Seduce a girl and be her lover for months, and then at the wedding, arrest her in front of her friends and family? It was embarrassing. She continued to watch him. She thought about killing him right their, but that was to risky, to many witnesses would see it. She would follow him and find a secluded little spot to kill him at. Her thoughts were cut short when some unseen force shoved her over the wall. She fell to her feet. She did not know much but she knew enough to keep her alive. There he was standing there laughing. "Hello my sweet girl, how have yo been doing since last we met?" "You..." "Me? Well I have been having a jolly good time with the enforcers. Just last week I..." "Shut up you chauvinistic bastard!" "Wow...a feisty little one. How am I chauvinistic?" "You seduced me so you could trap me when I least expected. I don't think you plan weddings with men and arrest them at the wedding do you?" "No I don't, but it was a good plan, wasn't it? It worked." "I will kill you...you made my family hate me. My friends walked away from me without a word. Two years in prison and no one sent me a letter...and why? Because you had to do it in front of my family!" "You think you can kill me? I could easily defeat you." "Try me." "I have...it was good." "You sick little..." And Garth took that moment to conjure a spell and direct it a her. It smashed into her stomach and sent her flying into the wall. She passed out. "I am sorry, but it was the only way." Garth walked away and did not look back. ............................................... Kandra awoke to see a face. "I know you!" She began to get to her feet. "You should. I am Lord Draynor. And I have a proposition for you..."

Lawyer: So, what product have you made to sell at retail stores. Nathan: These!(All the band members put paper bags on their heads) Lawyer:Uh, thats great...what do they do? Nathan: They are time travel travel bags. Toki: They allow you to travel through time at the normal speed of time. Lawyer:Uh...thats great... Toki:(takes bag off his head) How long since I put the bag on my head? Lawyer: 2 minutes. Toki:Wow...I traveled through time! Lawyer:Yeah...you did. Murderface:(takes the bag off his head) What day is it? Pickles:(Takes bag off head) Wedne...uh...friday Murderface: Wow...I traveled through time! Nathan: Brutal, right? Lawyer: Yeah, they'll sell well More Dethklok quotes: I'm Roxo, the Dethklok clooowwwn, I do cocaine!Seriously, a looot of cocaine. (Pickles and Toki walk through forest. Tree blows up) Pickles: Thats not natural. (Lawyer and assassin at a stand off. The assassin is trying to kill Toki and Pickles.) Lawyer: Thats my bread and butter your f***in' with. (Pickles Puts coffee beans in a toaster) Pickles: They give us a life supply of coffee beans and they don't even cook right! (On a larry King type show) Larry: So Natha....Murderface, what are you doing? Murderface: Pissing on your shoe. (Nathan on stage doing a comedy) Nathan: Have you ever wondered what you guts would look like in a bowling ball? Well here you go. (Pulls a ball from behind him made of guts) (Nathan doing comedy, has a body bag in his hands) Nathan: Hello mister Bodybag! Nathan low voice: Hello Nathan. Nathan: How you doin? Nathan low voice: Well, people crap on me.

I got another one from metalocalypse: Lawyer: So, what product have you made to sell at retail stores. Nathan: These!(All the band members put paper bags on their heads) Lawyer:Uh, thats great...what do they do? Nathan: They are time travel travel bags. Toki: They allow you to travel through time at the normal speed of time. Lawyer:Uh...thats great... Toki:(takes bag off his head) How long since I put the bag on my head? Lawyer: 2 minutes. Toki:Wow...I traveled through time! Lawyer:Yeah...you did. Murderface:(takes the bag off his head) What day is it? Pickles:(Takes bag off head) Wedne...uh...friday Murderface: Wow...I traveled through time! Nathan: Brutal, right? Lawyer: Yeah, they'll sell well More Dethklok quotes: I'm Roxo, the Dethklok clooowwwn, I do cocaine!Seriously, a looot of cocaine. (Pickles and Toki walk through forest. Tree blows up) Pickles: Thats not natural. (Lawyer and assassin at a stand off. The assassin is trying to kill Toki and Pickles.) Lawyer: Thats my bread and butter your f***in' with. (Pickles Puts coffee beans in a toaster) Pickles: They give us a life supply of coffee beans and they don't even cook right! (On a larry King type show) Larry: So Natha....Murderface, what are you doing? Murderface: Pissing on your shoe. (Nathan on stage doing a comedy) Nathan: Have you ever wondered what you guts would look like in a bowling ball? Well here you go. (Pulls a ball from behind him made of guts) (Nathan doing comedy, has a body bag in his hands) Nathan: Hello mister Bodybag! Nathan low voice: Hello Nathan. Nathan: How you doin? Nathan low voice: Well, people crap on me. I could put more but I got something else to do at the moment.

LOL...but that show is still like, the most bloody and gory show that they have ever put on TV. And the show is basically made up of brutally killed fans or people trying to help Dethklok, and a usually good song, and lots of irellevant conversations that come out of nowhere but are funny as hell.

I put a new siggie onto my profile...people noticed my old Snake siggie...hope you like.

LOL...I know they are directed at different crowds, I am just wondering what the majority as a whole like more. I wanna know why people like the systems more than the others.

Zelos talking to sheena: Zelos: (asks Sheena a ?) Sheena: I don't know. Zelos: Well now we know that your brain is not as large as your chest. :XD: Thats funny everytime I hear it.

o...they never said that...I am past the crap with the key crest...so genis likes a 28 year old 12 year old...hee...and what about Lloyd, he must be after Collette, but if I were him I would go for Sheena, she has a thing for him anyway.

Christ all mighty...she is Not...You lie! She lives with her parents for gods sake!

If they won't let you play MGS than play Splinter Cell, its the next best thing....and I really feel sorry for the threadmaker...his parents won't let him play rated M games. I want to laugh at him and say how great M games are but I don't wanna look like a jerkoff. Anyway,I guess your gonna have to live with it for another two years dude...I think MGS will still be around in 09.

LOL...don't you hate when that happens?

What do you think the best console ever was? Anything from the Atari 2600 to the PS3 (and handhelds count too). And why did you pick that console? Whats your fav game on it? Happy posting :D

The halo theme for guitar hero? Does not sound like something they would put as downloadable content, but hey, if its a free song I might as well download it.

DETHKLOK ROX :XD: I love the show...I thinks it hilarious...and the CD kicks a lot of [wagon] too. Why is the show postponed until next year Adult Swim? Just like Frisky Dingo...you gave that up for...UGH...tim and erics awesome show great job :notalk: Anyway...How many other people out there love Dethklok? I already signed a form saying that my family can not sue Dethklok if I die during a concert...will you?