Harakiri

I reincarnate into a guy from wisconsin and kill you with cheese...thus taking the cheese and also having a lot more cheese with me so I could confuse people.

O god...and I am stuck in heaven! I reincernate into a dog and eat your head off and run with the cheese.

banned for appreciating bacteria

0/10 I never use this forum but can still say I have not seen you since I looked at this forum

I kill myself, become a ghost, and take the cheese to heaven.

banned for wasting your time banning people on an RS fansite.

IDK...that ones hard... How about this one "What the hell is that?" "A missile stupid missile!"

granted but the pies came with a complementary clown who is also a canniball. I wish I had fifteen wishes that could not be corrupted by anyone because if they try, they die a painful death.

same time post...creepy :ohnoes:

O god...another new member...what the hell is going on around here? Are you gonna be a regular to the 'brary? We do need more people, but on topic...the story was like watching a commercial for cloverfield...I wasn't with it and you have a terrible habit of putting periods where they should not be. I am sorry, but I just did not like it too much. Maybe more will tell me how good a writer you are. Welcome to the brary. Your second in command ratchet here. Xewleer is the guard, you gotta go through him to see if your a good writer. Archimage is our leader. He is a mod, and can tell you everything wrong and right about your story. And then their are people who stray here because they have nothing better to do (bluejay). And Unoalexi is another big critic...

8 out of 10 Do I wanna know what that cats doing on that rail?

banning for banning my eyeballs

This is what I like to call...tough love...

BANNED FOR NOT USING CAPS

I will say a random word and the poster below me uses that word in a funny quote. Then that person puts a random word down and the next person makes a funny quote and puts a random word down...ETC. ETC. The first word: spoon

a good bio that will fit in with the next chapter. Thank you

I am taking biographies and these will not be used as murder toys and stupid characters. Just give me descriptions and bios of some nomadic people you want to see in this story. All will be used.

I sure hope to hell this is not like my creation "The Noob Police". Cuz' if it is, you are so gonna get sued...

banned for banning him because you had no control over him banning you.

Dude...you wanna caption contest then go to http://www.fark.com You gotta look for em, but they got some funny ones.

CHAPTER 1: THE BEGINNING The gods were all at one point in time, friends. The three main gods were Saradomin, King of the Heavens, Guthix, keeping balance between heaven and hell, and Zamorak, King of Hell. They were born from eternity's womb and were born as nothing but the knowledge to build upon the eternal blackness of what is now, the universe. Eternity is sometimes considered a god, but nobody knows. Eternity may have been an intelligent life form or may have been just a myth. Nobody knows except the gods. As soon as the gods were born, they agreed to create a world, where people could roam free, and the gods would watch the land, making sure no wars broke out, and making sure the people were in a peaceful place, where they could forever be happy. But, with all good people came the bad. People would pickpocket farmers for their seeds and some would even murder using sharpened rocks. These nomadic people were the gods first problem. The gods agreed on a new system. When the people died, Guthix would take them to a weight balance and weigh their heart. If the heart weighed much, they would be taken to the Plane of Saradomin, commonly referred to as heaven. If their heart weighed little, they were taken to the Plane of Zamorak, or as we call it, hell. The gods were happy with their positions, except for Zamorak. Told by his brothers to sit on a throne in a fiery pit, watching the bad suffer, it just did not suit him. He protested to his brothers with no avail. He became a crueler person, using the souls of the evil to his advantage. He used them to make him food, he used them to help him build castles for himself. Every person in hell was a man. After a couple years of using the men slaves, a woman came. Her soul was full of hatred for the gods. Except for Zamorak. She helped him with all his petty tasks, and soon, she became his lover. Their lives together led to the destruction of the bonds between the three gods. 1. Zamorak was lying on a soft bed in his castle. The covers were over him, and beside him his lover was snoring quietly. Zamorak pulled the covers off of himself and got off the bed, careful not to disturb his soon to be wife. She had blue eyes and blond hair. She wore no clothes, and neither did Zamorak. Zamorak pulled open a closet inside of his bedroom and pulled on a red and black cloak. He then shut the closet, and walked out of the room, careful to shut the heavy wooden door quietly. He strode down the stone hallway, his footsteps echoing through the castle. He could hear souls in torment, screaming. He laughed as he walked by a window and one whispered, "Please have mercy on me." Zamorak walked by and found a door in the hallway. He opened it and peeked inside. He found a plain room, with splotches of blood on the ground. Nothing inside. Perfect. Zamorak then made a table appear before himself. He looked at it, saw that it was long enough, and closed the door behind him. He got to work creating a new living embodiment of evil. It would be in the shape of a human and would wreck havoc upon the mortal lands. Hours later, he finished and began to send his new minion to the mortal world when he remembered he had to give his creation a name. Pandora. That would be find. It was a tough sounding name. Zamorak then teleported Pandora to the mortal world. 2. Pandora woke up in a haystack. He rolled off the stack and looked around him. Cows were everywhere, being slaughtered by passerby for their delicious steak. The passerby were using sharpened stones and sticks. Pandora looked at his belt and sought to find a sharpened stone. He could not find one, though he found a large stick with an orb of swirling mist strapped to his back. Pandora took it and walked up to one of the smelly cows. The cow mooed and looked at Pandora lovingly. Pandora used the stick to smash the cows skull but was not powerful enough, and instead, pissed the cow off. The cow tried to ram into Pandora. Pandora was sent flying through the air. Then, an amazing thing happened, the cow exploded. The grass became wet with its blood and its head was not on its body anymore. Pandora walked up to it and stared at his staff. A bloodthirst awoke in him and he started drinking the blood and loved the iron taste of it. He saw a castle ahead of him and smiled. He ran to the castle and smacked people with the staff, killing them and drinking their blood. The more blood he drank, the paler he got. His blood lust would lead to a whole civilizations downfall. 3. Saradomin watched the blood drinking fiend named "Pandora". He then closed his eyes and tried to figure out why anyone would go that crazy. He looked into Pandora's mind and was blocked by a telekinetic shield. He tried to break through but could not. He then tried to look at Pandora's soul. He saw the soul and saw the darkness inside of it, and then saw a familiar face behind the soul, guiding it. Zamorak. Saradomin was furious, his brother was using a vessel to destroy the mortals and take over. Saradomin could not allow this. Saradomin's assistant, Heckler, walked in. "Sir, you are looking quite furious." "I am. Please take over for about an hour or so." Saradomin teleported away. Heckler walked up to Saradomin's throne and sat down. 4. Zamorak and his fiance were making love when the door to the bedroom opened. Saradomin walked in. He looked at the bed, and twisted his face in disgust. "Zamorak, what have you done?" Zamorak got out of the bed and grabbed his cloak from the floor. "Nothing brother, all I have done is make the world a better place." He said this while putting his cloak on. "I will destroy your creation. And who do you think will like the world better when everyone is dead?" "I will." "And why have you been in bed with this...woman?" The fiance pulled the covers around herself and spat in Sarradomins face. "Because he can." she said. Saradomin wiped the spit from his face and was infuriated. "YOU DARE SPIT IN THE FACE OF A GOD?" She spat at him again. Saradomin raised his hands in the air and sent a lightning bolt at the woman. Zammorak ran in front of the bolt and took the shot. He screamed as the bolt burned him. Zammorak fell to the ground and was hyperventilating. The woman got down and hugged Zammorak. "How could you do that to your brother?" She asked, a tear in her eye. "He does not care." Said a voice from behind Saradomin. Suddenly, Saradomin's arm was bleeding. Zamorak walked into the room and dismissed the body. He then grabbed his fiance and kissed her. Saradomin then teleported Zamorak and himself. The woman went into a bathroom to get a tissue. She got one and looked at her face in a mirror over the sink. On her face, a message was printed. I will be back, he does not know about my secret weapon yet. TO BE CONTINUED Hope it was a satisfactory beginning.

Krusty Krab training video FTW! P: People O: Order O:Our P: Patties

Welcome to the library...this is a rare occasion when we have to welcome two people in 24 hours, because the library is the place nobody goes too other than the civilised. Everyone else goes to the normal forums to rant and complain and be dirtbags... It was all right but as I said with the previous new guy, if your making a short story, post it all. And if its a long story, make longer chapters. Your poet thing at the bottom was right, but you wanna make the poem flow right. You can make it not rhyme as long as it flows right. It just did not flow for me, sorry.

Was "Write" entended as a pun? Or was it just a spelling mistake.

Hey DarkRick...nice picture on DeviantArt of the planet express crew...