MuffinMaddy

Hope everyone's doing alright

Happy New Year everyone! Nice to see us all living to fight another day. I go back to work next week but for Christmas, I solo travelled around Austria, Switzerland, Germany, Italy and Liechtenstein (the latter of which is one of only two double landlocked countries). By double landlocked it means the countries around that country are also landlocked. Good to see people doing well! As usual, it's my birthday next week and don't think I'm going to do anything as it's getting tiring trying to work out all the logistics of what to do and who to invite.

So life is going surprisingly well. I just got back from Norway. I went to a conference about neurology and enjoyed it. I also graduated from my master's degree. Out of 2500 employees that work for my company, 70 nominees and 30 shortlisted candidates for an award... I won an award for the best analytical commentry on the global pharmaceutical market for PTSD. I was surprised to win, but it's cooling off my anxiety about not being good at my job because since redundancy last year, I've felt like I've been on a tight-rope but I'm clearly doing just fine so I hope I can gain some confidence because all this stress isn't worth it. Also I have started building on my emigration dream and it will take a lot of determination and financial discipline but I am ready to hopefully transfer to my company's Canadian office by the end of 2021. I just have always been in a better place mentally when abroad and I would like the blank slate... obviously I studied in Canada for a year and living there would definitely be different, but the horrible memories and history I have in the UK means I honestly don't think my long-term happiness really exists here. I'm just doing the best I can with what I have, and I don't think I would miss anything much either. A lot of my friends have left the country and it's time that I have my own adventure, too. I've been thinking about this decision for a long time but I need to take steps towards actually making it work. I owe it to myself.

I'm glad you're acknowledging the importance of looking after your mental health and it looks like you've got a viable plan that works. Good luck, Veiva! On the topic of mental health I am sinking deeply into depression and might need to go back on medication for it. My aunt is gravely ill and my cousin who I basically grew up with is psychotic and aggressive which has been triggering for me. Steps forward in my life are always seemingly accompanied by constant emotional blows. I'm going to start solo travelling as much as possible again. Oslo in June, Hamburg and Copenhagen early August followed by Amsterdam at the end of August I think. Then I'm looking into doing a week in Finland and Sweden in September and I may do Christmas in Switzerland. The sooner I take a train, bus, flight, bike ride, the sooner I will feel better.

So on easter sunday, I fell on a slippery nightclub floor and tore my lcl. I've been in a leg splint for over a week and today I had to have some scans at the "trauma and deformity" clinic. The name gave me a reason to laugh at least. I don't know if anyone watches sex education on netflix (I don't) but I hung out with the guy who plays Eric in it and it was so strange being stopped for autographs and photos constantly. Even weirder because I didn't know how big of a hit this show was - I still haven't gotten round to watching it but yeah the actor is super chill, funny and really lively too. Also heading to Berlin for a weekend soon so any recommendations would be greatly appreciated (I don't log in here often enough to check replies to my posts but if I do, then thanks in advance lol)

Hey guys, what's good? I've been working a 9-6 job since July and I got my first pay rise.... of 9.5k which would normally take years to reach! I'm generally alright except my cousin has had a psychotic break and is accusing various people of things, hitting, biting, scratching and other aggressive behaviours. This has triggered me a bit so that's been a bit of a roller coaster, but otherwise it's good to have a routine and be earning some money. Hope to go travelling soon - I'm off to Berlin next month for a weekend and I hope it'll be good

New job starts Tues Just got back from Italy 24 on Wednesday Happy New Year guys

My thoughts are with you

Today I was laid off from my job. A big company bought my organisation, fired half the team. They plan to fire the other half next year after they get the remaining staff to integrate our projects into their own portfolio.

Speaking of vomit I'm actually very ill myself. Tonsilitis, conjunctivitis and I'm deaf in my left ear. My boyfriend also dumped me on Saturday but i'm fine with everything because we were only together a few months and he treated me very negatively so I feel quite liberated. Otherwise, I have a full time job now and I'm just working. I'm spending Christmas and New Year in Italy for a much needed holiday as I think 2018 has been really dull in general

Haven't posted since June but I'm still knocking around. How is everyone?

Bit of an unexpected tinder success story here. I moved to a new city at the end of July for a new job but I didn't have a house and I was very depressed. Got tinder out of boredom and for a distraction and got chatting to this guy who helped me with my house search and it turns out we have a lot in common and get along. We met for the first time two weeks ago and it was hella awkward until I asked him questions about his job and he was really animated. We went back to his house and slept with each other and it was alright but obviously the first time with someone new is never perfect. But I stayed over and even spoke to his mum and chilled with his cats. Then last week I stayed over for a night again and on Sunday we're having our third date. Genuinely never thought I'd actually like someone I'm sleeping with and especially not from tinder but yeah looking forward to seeing where this goes (if anywhere)

Got my first job since graduating as a business intelligence analyst for a pharmaceutical research firm. It means I'm moving quite far from home, which I've done a few times before, even transatlantically. Just this time I'll actually be working in my first full-time job, which I got less than a year after graduation which is pretty decent. It's giving me all sorts of butterflies in my stomach. No long summers, no lie ins, the real adulthood starts now but it also means financial stability and the chance to save up for mental health counselling to help me sort myself out.

Close to finishing my master's degree and the job hunt is on. These multi-stage applications are getting really arduous. I don't really have any idea where I want to live or what company I want to work for. I've had a pretty miserable academic year socially - but it was fixed when I met two people from this forum last week and we went on a road trip around south west England which was really fun. Great community this. |^_^|

I don't even have a reddit account but I'd get one for this community loool. Can't get rid of me, losers. I've been feeling really unusually upbeat, I think I'm making a few friends now, and next week I'm visiting some friends at my undergrad uni and I'm like a child at christmas with excitement. Master's life is very different, I think I look forward to letting my hair down a little and having fun.

Erm... the income is like £25k per annum so I wouldn't say it's -that- high

Well this is the first time I've calculated my student loan debt w/o interest and it's 51k in GBP because I did a year abroad and Master's lol Job interview on Friday though, hopefully it goes well

You do make an important point. I basically forced myself off the Internet (arguably 2 years too early) because I was convinced I would have no social skills. I have a really big problem with being balanced. Part of that is because I have 4 mental illnesses but I'm always on at one extreme or the other. So for me I either abandoned my life on the Internet and focused on bonds in person, or I did the opposite. Choosing the latter has helped me do some pretty amazing things. I would still say I'm socially awkward, but I've managed to pass it off in a way where I'm just being seen as quirky, daft or just doing it deliberately.

It's quite insensitive and unproductive to say that, though. Everyone knows that, but when it happens to someone you know that really is never an appropriate thing to say.

Heart aches badly. Woke up to my friend texting me "Did you know person X?" and I was like Yeah she's lovely. I log on to social media, and a friend from university has died at the age of 24 in her sleep, no knowledge of any health conditions. Everyone I knew was in awe of her physique, but her personality was lovely too. It's just brought up so much anxiety about not really knowing what life will bring. I've been waiting for therapy for over a year now, and it's becoming less of an "it would be nice to have therapy" situation and more of an emergency.

It's my birthday, I'm home alone for the whole day and I have heartburn. I still feel really happy internally, though

Congrats on the engagement :) I feel so depressed around christmas every year but it's a hint stronger because of the loss of my dad, but I'm definitely hopeful that next year will be a better one. I achieved a lot this year but it's hard to be truly proud and enjoy any happiness because of how difficult the challenges have been. Despite this, I don't think anything could be much worse than being strangled and bereaved shortly afterwards, so all things considered... I'm up for 2018

Who messages exes on snap chat*

I genuinely think it's absolutely crazy that i've been a member of this forum EXACTLY 10 years. And I'm still knocking around! I'm still kind of crawling my way through this Master's degree. I realise (I've known this since I was 15/16) but it's become evermore clear to me that I want to emigrate. I really want to start afresh, build my own life from scratch in another country. I'm adventurous but not naive, so I'm applying for lots of jobs in my target countries and hoping that one of them will accept me. The dream is to be a science journalist but in today's world, I'm being as broad as I can be. Put me in front of a computer and make me write stuff and I'll be happy for eternity. So I'm looking at related positions like digital communications, marketing, junior writing jobs - anything where the job description emphasises "good at writing" I've found it's a powerful medium to get my thoughts across especially with anxiety so I hope to be able to have a career that focuses on that really.

Kind of can't believe I've been a member of this forum for a decade. Some of you guys have actually watched me grow up, even if I haven't been around too often in recent time. At the moment, I'm training to be a multimedia journalist doing a Master's Degree - I guess I'm still finding my feet. Haven't got a lot of friends but I am just accepting that that's part of my life at the moment. I'm still dealing with extreme depression and anxiety, but I've just learned to accept it and talking about it openly at therapy is helpful. I do think after I complete this Master's degree I definitely need to pause in life. I need to stop changing location, I am following my heart but my emotional life is really unable to keep up with all the changes in my physical life. I need to kinda sit back and process things properly and I feel like I'm scared to do that. Even 20 minute just listening to my thoughts takes me back to thinking about my dad's death and it's a place I don't want to think about yet but knowing that I have to process it one day is quite daunting. Part of me thinks I'll have a meltdown one day but I've been thinking that for 4 years and I've either drank or smoked those feelings away and now I've got rid of substances from my life I actually feel the deep loneliness and isolation I used to feel when I would run home to play RS, except this time the loneliness is based on life experience (being assaulted and my dad dying primarily but other things too) whereas back then it was just not being cool at school. I'd go back to that kinda loneliness any day of the week. Sorry for bringing the mood down, I tend to be a bit draining. Hope you're all well though