What about the possibility that you're wasting the only life you get worrying about what an imaginary man thinks of you? Acting like a good person ain't gonna hurt you in this life or, as I believe, the next. I don't know where the concept that every person who believes in a(n) God(s) or afterlife has to be insane and sitting in a dark room for fear of God's wrath came from, but it's about 12% incorrect... Exactly, what do I have to lose? And I'm not "worrying" about what God thinks of me, it's not like I'm trying impress him.