Jehosaphat

Earth - You fail at slashing it, but manage to release a cloud of poison spores in its face. It seems to be unaffected, and tries to chop you again. It misses. Icu - Success on both parts, but the Jedi manage to crash a few of your spores into the lava using the Force.

Earth - Your poison cloud misses. The dog-thing, whom you know for some reason is called "Shin," attempts to cleave you in half, but misses entirely. Ross - You hit the poltergeist and kill it. You are offered the ability to throw miscellaneous objects in exchange for your laser. Do you accept? (Also, machines can use magic - just as well as a halibut can wield an axe.)

Earth - You see what appears to be a large dog-shaped strawberry wielding a sword. It attempts to bind you with vines, but fails. Icu - They detect both and slice up a fair number of your attacking spores. Ross - You miss, and manage to dodge another flying plant. Y'know, I'm surprised I haven't seen very many people use magic yet...

Icu - You multiply for a bit, but then they both notice you and run after you with lightsabers. Ross - You miss, but manage to dodge another brick thrown by the poltergeist. Earth - You are teleported to a forest.

Icu - You are teleported inside a volcano. You look around, and see Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader battling on a magical piece of obsidian floating on the lava, similar to the one you are standing on. Ross - You spin around and fire randomly, and luckily manage to hit the poltergeist. It seems to fall for a second, before righting itself and throwing another spike at you. Getting hit by the laser has made it detectable now, though.

Icu - You multiply a bit more, and choke the orb of fire to death. You are offered its flame-wave mechanism as a weapon, do you accept? Ross - Your scan once again shows nothing. You succeed at shooting a flying brick, then pretend to shut down - right over a spike. The spike then flies up at you, and stabs you through. You're still alive, but have taken a lot of damage from that spike...

Ross - You vaporise some more bricks. You then get hit by another flying plant, which sends you hovering about a meter over the spikes.

Mather - Cursing seems to have no effect on the mold. You look around, and there is nothing there besides concrete, you, and mold. The mold begins to invade your respiratory system. Icu - You begin to create more burrows. Ross - Oh... You begin vaporising bricks, before being mildly injured by a flying plant.

Icu - All the spores on the surface are now dead due to having been on fire. Both burrows begin to multiply rapidly, and have both now reached carrying capacity. Rocco - You take the talons and are teleported to what seems to be a floating model of the Solar System. You are standing on the 3-m-wide sun, and your opponent, whom you can't discern anything else of yet, is standing on top of Mars.

Mather - You are teleported to the fungus room Archi was just in. Icu - You fail to continue choking it. It launches a massive fire wave at the spores, killing or setting on fire most of those not underground. Ross - You blow up a brick wall, look past it, and see that this colosseum is magically floating above some very large spikes. Best not fall off. Your scan then fails, and you are launched into the air by a brick beneath your feet. You land dazed in the center of the colosseum. Rocco - You magically generate a switchblade and drop your laser in favor of it. However, you are now offered many of the octocat's talons in exchange for the switchblade. Do you accept?

Ross - Your scan reveals nothing. You notice very early another brick sailing towards you from the other side of the arena, and manage to dodge it before it hits you. Mather - You aren't teleported. Instead, you are offered either your opponent's bow and arrows or its sword in exchange for your current weapon. Do you accept? Icu - Some of the spores create a new burrow. The rest manage to begin choking the fireball, it now seems to be severely weakened. It does however, managed to shoot a beam through a fair number of your spores. Rocco - Your laser doesn't shoot, and instead catapults you up 3 stories before you fall on the ground unconscious. The octopus then grabs you and dies of the fire as it attempts to strangle you.

Mather - You slow the poison, but fail to hit with any of your bullets. Something within you tells you that your opponent is now completely dead.

Ross - You manage to regain consciousness just in time to dodge another brick that was heaved at you. Icu - The ones up top attempt to become invisible. However, it still seems that the fireball can see them, as it launches a flame wave that only barely misses a large quantity of them.

Archi - You miss completely. The mold has now choked you to death. You find yourself surprisingly alive, but now in an arena that consists of a narrow wooden bridge over a large lake of piranha. Mather - You see that the arrow is black, right before it disintegrates in your hands. You begin feeling woozy, and notice that the arrow has poisoned you. You kick off the wall of the hole towards your opponent, managing to hit him with a couple of bullets. You then get hit by a wave of darkness, and are sent back to your side of the hole, somewhat injured.

Ross - You move slowly to the center of the arena. A brick flies out of one of the nearby walls and hits you in the head, rendering you unconscious. Rocco - You land a blow on the octopus, it now seems to be heavily wounded and on fire. It attempts to grab you, but misses. (You got so lucky there...) Icu - You fail again at making a tornado. The fireball launches a flame wave at you, killing many of your spores and lighting a few on fire.

Archi - A suicide counts as a loss, not a win and a loss. Do you want to reconsider?

Ross - Your scan turns up nothing. And I'd be happy GMing this whenever I'm here and capable. Archi - Nothing happens regarding the lapel pin. You manage to communicate with the mold, and get the message that its only intent is to kill you and eat you. It continues choking you, and you are almost dead because of it. Icu - The spores begin tunneling outside, but fail to create a tornado. The fireball fails to retaliate. Rocco - You shoot the cat. The cat's remains begins to mutate, until you are left facing a giant fanged octopus.

Icu - The spores in the tunnel begin reproducing. The few spores left on the outside of the tunnel attempt to grow further, but fail. The fireball misses with another flame-laser. Archi - The mold seems to be alive in some way... you think on this for a moment, before a piece of mold flies off the wall and begins choking you. Rocco - The streets seem to be empty. The only life you came across was a stray cat. Mather - 22 of the bullets connect with their target, and you see what seems to be black blood pouring from the thing. It shoots some more arrows at you, but only one connects. You begin to feel very odd.

Archi - You are teleported out of that arena, and are congratulated on your first win by THE MASTER. You are then teleported to a small cramped room that seem to be full of mold.

Icu - You try to burrow further, but fail. The flameball tries to send a flow of lava into your tunnels, but fails and ends up making a tower of lava rock just outside it. Ross - You are teleported to an old-style Roman amphitheater. Archi - I had to come up with some way for you to fail... and your phaser stops malfunctioning and you land a devastating blow on the Halibut, causing it to drop its axe. It then falls into the noxious liquid and dies. Do you wish to take the axe in exchange for your phaser? Mather - Your jetpack doesn't really do anything to stop the fall. You look around, and see something move out of the corner of your eye. You sense a barrage of arrows that just flew past your head, missing you entirely. Edit: Rocco - You are teleported to what appear to be the streets of a not-so-nice section of Dallas, Texas.

Icu - You manage to create a small burrow into the ground and lay some eggs, which hatch and rejoin the masses. The flame-ball fires another fire beam, which only grazes you and kills a few spores.

Icu - You try to lay eggs, but the flame-sphere kills them all. It them fires a beam of flame at you, killing even more of your spores. Archi - Your phaser seems to temporarily malfunction, and it only manages to release a spurt of fire into the toxic goo. Which does nothing. You see a large axe swing down beside you, turn around, and look into the face of a rather large halibut.

Archi - You scan the goo and find out that it is indeed toxic, acidic, and poisonous. Best to stay on the floor. You feel something try to shove you into the liquid, but it can't seem to fully push you over.

Alright then Archi. Low armor, high-powered weapon, high movement, low accuracy. And I decide who you fight, not you. Archi - You are teleported to arena where the floor seems to have broken into pieces, and the pieces gradually fade away after being stepped on. You see that below the pieces is a large pool of a noxious-looking green liquid. Edit: Icu - You begin laying a multitude of eggs around the area. The fire-sphere attempts to incinerate some, but only manages to get a few. Your tornado seems to have only a slight effect on the ball of flames, and it throws a large fireball at you, incinerating a large number of your spores.

Oh Archi, ain't you funny. Pick one. Srsly. Icu - You become a humanoid figure... and notice a ball of flame that flies right past your "head."