helpmeownlife

That's not me, I try everyday. I just feel like everyone's out to get me (and I guess that's a flaw of mine too, so instead of giving it a rational reason it just leads back into more negativity for me to feed on). I'll go to give a kid advice and then he'll go around and then apparently I'm doing it for selfish reasons. I go to a concert and everyone asks as if I'm a burden. That stuff doesn't really matter at all, I'm just venting. My 'friend' tells me that I have issues in which I over-react and over-analyze what people do, and that's what makes me "act like a 3 year old all the time".

Not me. Even in this numbness phase, I hate everyday life. I apparently 'over-analyze' everything. And even right now, it just seems like I can't trust anyone. I don't know if it's because all of my friends are douschebags or what. But I've really been so torn apart in my life. Those losers.

I've looked through my notes (yeah, I'm pathetic) of books, other resources; and I came to realize that even through the self-proclaimed love gurus of the world, the beyond all best advice I've received was from lurking this thread. If it's alright with you guys, I think I'm going to pop in as a regular in this thread giving a little advice and asking for advice on my own major issues. Hope you guys don't mind. My first thing: Ever since this one point in my life when I was depressed (I let the verbal bullying of middle school and every failed attempt (they were all fails) at relationships be mixed into a lethal cocktail in my head). Ever since then, I've become a lot better. I still am upset with who I am, but that's why I'm working out, improving myself, and hanging out in this thread now. But there's an issue. I don't really feel anything anymore. I don't feel the heartfelt attraction when I like a girl (I'm afraid it's just lust all the time now =/), I don't ever feel really that happy, nor really that sad. It's like I'm numb to everything, even though I guess you could consider me normal. What's up with that?

I just want you to know that I just had a session with my friend where I talked and gave the best advice the kid's probably heard in his life. I kinda feel like a guru/bad [wagon]. I love you guys.

@indyfan, it might be because of your NoScript. I had the same problem until I allowed not just that website, but everything on that page, then I got matches every time.

Lent, I think you should give the guy a break. For the double spacing. Wait, o shi- Really, it shouldn't be that hard. Asking a girl out is the most ****ing complex thing in the universe here, but being friends is easy. Unless you're nervous because you have feelings for her, which is what I picked up. I also assumed that basically what you're asking is not the becoming friends part alone, but instead you want to learn how to become friends with her before you date her. If that's the chase, click on this pretty little show button below. [hide]THIS IS THE WORSE MISTAKE YOU COULD EVER MAKE IN YOUR LIFE. Wikipedia defines the 'friendzone' as: "The friend zone (or friendship zone) is a popular psychology concept found in many pseudo-psychology texts geared towards a male audience about "dating advice." It refers to the situation where the female has begun to view a male as a friend only and not a potential suitor, a psychological classification supposedly exceptionally difficult to undo." Urban Dictionary defines the 'friendzone' as: "The seventh level of hell, where despite all and any efforts to the contrary, no member of the opposite sex will ever see you as anything more than conversation. " If this is the case, please let us so, so I can redirect you to a certified guru/badass in this thread to slap some sense into you. Thanks and come again =D[/hide]

Sorry for taking so long to respond, but I enjoyed the nice debate. Very thought-provoking. Anyways, I'm already confident and a musician. I've played multiple instruments for 9 years or so, I'm just picking up guitar, learning how to sing and refining my piano skills. I'm working out to become stronger, healthier, and overall just more awesome (I'd like to take up parkour/free running). I've been in relationships before (although most of them have failed), I'm very confident and very social. I'm just picking up these things and improving others to become a better person. There's more to it than just that too. I've been closely observing this thread and other resources to get tips on flirting, I'm researching how to efficiently read body language, and much more. I'm not doing this for women at all, I'm doing it for myself. But women are a benefit.

I'm with the calling BS. There's obviously a reason I'm doing all of that. Have you been to high school? Who do girls chase after? The kid who sits and plays WoW on his Friday nights, or the guy who's in a band with a six-pack? I know it's stereotypical, but you think of that situation and tell me it doesn't change things even a tiny bit.

Self-improvement over the summer. Then when I go back to school, I'll be a new person. And get women.

Well, I ordered books on guitar, piano, and singing today. And I'll be starting running and working out tomorrow. Not sure why I'm posting this, but just wanted to leave a mark somewhere. Here's to who I was, and who I'll become. I want to thank everyone in this topic for all the questions they've answered, and for being awesome support. (Even though you have no idea who I am. Haha >=D)

Yeah, you're right, I know that. I'm not a socially awkward idiot, I have friends and I'm social. I'm just looking for specific information. You seem just to be posting for post count (or at least, that's what I'm seeing). Thank you for your help anyways.

Uh, that's great, but I'm looking for something more specific. Also, please don't double post.

In a few days, I'd like to make a bunch of lifestyle changes in my own self-improvement program. Now, one of the aspects in my life I'd like to change is my physical being. Right now, I'm 15, 145lb, and 5'10". My timeline is 9-10 weeks. Some things I'd like to change, specifically...Obviously, I want to get rid of the fat I have, and turn it all into solid muscle (as much as I can in the time mentioned above). I'd like to run for cardio, and I'd like to transform myself into an excellent runner. Swimming, too, once the summer starts. And finally, a six-pack would be sweet. But of course, who doesn't want one? I'm willing (and wanting to change everything), except I don't know what to do. There are tons of programs out there that are 9 weeks (Couch to 5K, 50 Pushups) etc., but I'm sure theres trouble if I take a bunch of them and combine them together. So, what I'm asking for is what I should do with the next 9 to 10 weeks of my life. What I should eat, what I should do, and exercises, on what days, etc. Thanks in advance for the help.

I like the video.

I'm looking at some books to buy. First, I'd like to learn about body language. "The Definitive Book to Body Language" has some reviews about poor writing and un-backed statistics. However, "What Every BODY is Saying" has some better reviews. Which should I get?

Lent, that's exactly what I'm looking for. I want to learn how to read body language, improve my apparently 'awkward posture', and learn how people think and how to be really charismatic. What should I read then? I posted a while back asking what books to read on that kinda stuff, and the answer I got was 'just The Game'. I'd like to be pointed in the right direction. So help. Here is a problem. Solve it. =D [hide] [/hide]

Hello everyone. I'm about halfway through The Game. It kinda seems like all of the useful info has stopped coming and now I'm just reading some lame autobiography. Anyone else get this? I actually feel like I don't want to finish it, but I can't put it down either. I want to finish reading it ASAP, but it's just so dang long.

Yeah I get what you're saying, and I really appreciate the support. Most of my life has been down though,and I finally had an up, and now I just feel like I'm back to square one. I know some of that is high school, but I look at some of my other friends, and just how successful they are (a part of that being how much natural "game" they have, I guess?). Then there's socially awkward old me, and although I've come such a far way from that and I'm really social now, I still desire to be more and sometimes it just feels pointless. Is that just who I am? Because I want to be the best, but it just seems like a pointless goal.

Eh this is weird =/. But I need some advice and I'd rather come here than break down to my friends in real life. Yeah, like I said. Weird. I've struggled with depression before. And don't think that I'm just another one of those teens that cries out for attention and pity. After spending my entire life of being the kid that sat drawing and writing down ideas instead of having social interaction at my young, young family gatherings at Christmas parties...and being ridiculed for how weird/socially awkward, etc that I was...and all of the epically failed "relationships" that either never came to be or lasted no more than a few days from pity...well, two years ago I just broke down and spiraled down into a depression. I lost faith in all my friends, became extremely paranoid and lost my grip on reality. I never self-harmed or seriously considered suicide, but I did question life a lot. I suppose that's just the pessimistic hopeless that came with the territory of the phase. But I turned out ok. Infact, I turned out really good. That ugly, chubby, socially awkward caterpillar crawled into a dark, painful cocoon of depression, then emerged a cool, confident, attractive (I guess?) butterfly. I got tons of friends, even got involved with a band, and actually got the stunning girl I've wanted for a long time. I'd come a long way. From a severely socially awkward penguin, to finally having the greatest time of my life (so far. I'm in high school. Yeah.) I'd never kissed a girl, but I learned fast, being fed with BS I actually believed. Ironically, even though it seemed like it was my new, confident way of life, this period ended. I still have my friends, yes, but all of the other stuff is gone. The girl just used me as both a rebound and then ran straight back to the jerk off who treated her like crap and kept pressuring her to do things. Not only that, but that girl was my best friend for years. I know, I'm an idiot. But the catch was that after running back to her old boyfriend, she didn't even give a care that I was no longer a part of her life. The complete opposite of what she'd be telling me. She just happily flaunted around her boyfriend, not caring at all how she could of affected me. The band broke up for the reason of 'going no where', and I was deemed in denial for having the hope that it would. The people in the band, my other best friends, have since been distanced from me. I don't know if it's a matter of them pushing me away, or the other way around. We're still best friends, but something's just not there. I've had the plan, based on how successful I'd changed before, to give it another shot. Take up some new skills, like guitar and dancing. Read The Game and learn the philosophy of PUA and all that fancy stuff. That way, I'd be a pretty cool guy. Well, combined with the friends, the love life, this bad bounce in life, and memories and feelings of the past, I'm starting to slip again. I'm not RAWREMOJUSTKILLME (yet), but I can feel it coming back. The discriminating and hopeless thoughts returning to my head. The insecurities slowly resurfacing. The doubts if this new plan is even worth it. The doubts of life, and all of that. The difference now is, I try my hardest to put a smile on my face and laugh with my friends as much as I can each day. While inside, I'm breaking. Because I know how it works. If I think I'm hopeless now with dating and being socially acceptable, the last thing I need is for my emotions to fall apart all over again. Something tells me the whole "get really depressed, cut contact with most everyone during the summer, come back a new cool person" deal isn't going to work again. Meh. I don't really know what I'm here to ask. Advice on my situation of life? Some understanding and a virtual pat on the back to tell me it's all ok? Maybe I just needed to let out some feelings. But, TIF, I feel oddly a deep part in the community, something like what was discussed a page or two ago. Don't be confused with the alias, I've been a part of TIF since '06. I'd just rather keep parts of my life separate right now. Thanks in advance.

Is it at all possible to get access to a gym? Very possible. But I'd like some exercises I can do at home daily and stuff. Like push-ups, crunches, stuff like that.

I did have a previous topic but it didn't really see much attention and I wasn't very detailed in it, so here goes. Hopefully there are some smart people in this forum that can help me out. Starting on Tuesday, I'm going to start working out and stuff. I'd like to loose some of the little fat I have (kinda chubby), and gain some muscle (heck, a 6 pack would be pretty sweet, but I really don't know much about that. I just know the key to a six-pack is diet over exercise, but I'm not sure how long it would take). I'm male, 15, somewhere around 5-6, and 150lb. I don't need to be ripped, but I do want to be toned and stuff. My deadline is somewhere around the middle of July. I don't really want to show any big change until the summer starts, but are there any exercises I should be doing now? That way, when I lose weight I'll have some tonage-ness under the fat? I don't really have much, except for an exercise ball, a few weights, and a Nike+ sensor. I've got a bit of free time now, and once summer hits, I'm going to be devoting all my time to shaping up. So, TIF, could you help me out with a routine or something?

I know there's 'The Game', but what other self-help/body language/psychology books would you guys recommend?

In the quest in which you become royalty of Miscellania, if you examine the bed of you and your wife's, it reads "A bed...for sleeping in...". =P

Any other ideas?

Velvet, it doesn't sound so locked in and secure as you may think. =/ Be careful, don't get too attached for now.