if you're in a mature, stable relationship, its my opinion that you shouldn't be squeamish about giving or taking money. You're no longer two people

 

Well, yeah, that might be true, but with the caase at hand, wits has never been a "person" at all.

 

what have i been then? :mellow:

Even more awkward is telling someone how to spend their money. If your funds aren't all together, you have no right to say that the other person can't buy something; you're just being controlling. Small exception if the money is being spent on you, but if your girlfriend wants to buy something for $28 that you think is stupid, it's her money. And sometimes she'll end up buying it when you're not there to stop her two weeks later, because when she's not with you, she's her own person most of the time, so she can buy what she wants and hang out with who she wants and care about things other than you

Even more awkward is telling someone how to spend their money. If your funds aren't all together, you have no right to say that the other person can't buy something; you're just being controlling. Small exception if the money is being spent on you, but if your girlfriend wants to buy something for $28 that you think is stupid, it's her money. And sometimes she'll end up buying it when you're not there to stop her two weeks later, because when she's not with you, she's her own person most of the time, so she can buy what she wants and hang out with who she wants and care about things other than you

 

<_< agreed

if you're in a mature, stable relationship, its my opinion that you shouldn't be squeamish about giving or taking money. You're no longer two people

 

Well, yeah, that might be true, but with the caase at hand, wits has never been a "person" at all.

 

what have i been then? :mellow:

Good question...

 

Also at emily, when I lent the 400 bucks to my roomate, I didn't really need to know when he would pay it back. In fact, I wasn't sure if he'd ever pay it back. but he was a nice guy and I was willing to take that risk. I've always had that general opinion... they can pay it back whenever they want, and even not at all. In that respect, when I lend money, its a gift mostly... with the option of paying back. My roomate still hasn't paid me back, but they still swear they will one day.

That got ranty, but I hope jerkoff wasn't too butthurt that his girlfriend bought the hat thing and several other things at the mall of America one day, then drove 45 miles to see her friend, then bought her friend dinner (and taco bell later), paid to get her belly button pierced, drove back the next morning, then bought her friend dinner again that night, since he has no right to complain when she'll drive 4-5 hours alone to see him and probably spend a ton on him since he's a retard

 

And paying back, it can be awkward or it can be a non-issue whether it happens, it's just usually not well-defined or it changes

I was talking with silva a bit about the ramifications of joint accounts... I think it was on her forums. She said that a married couple should have a main joint account, but then they each have their own accounts with a couple thousand dollars in them. I always thought that was a great way of sharing the lion's share of your expenses but still retaining a bit of financial independence.

That's how my parents did it, or they'd have a credit card or two of their own too. One neighborhood couple has completely separate (aka Cyndi's family) because Cyndi's mom got screwed over by Cyndi's biological father, he was a drunk and spent it all or whatever but Cyndi's mom is the spender between her and her husband, she has like 1957934792478 credit cards... and I've seen her husband use plastic only a few times, and that's always debit. Otherwise, he uses cash.

 

also, and then I add my first tif person on facebook... when we've "known" each other for 5 years or whatever lul

But then you would have to control how much money the other puts in his/her account, how much he/she spends, etc etc etc.

And then facebook doubles my favorites

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I was talking with silva a bit about the ramifications of joint accounts... I think it was on her forums. She said that a married couple should have a main joint account, but then they each have their own accounts with a couple thousand dollars in them. I always thought that was a great way of sharing the lion's share of your expenses but still retaining a bit of financial independence.

 

if you are married... i think that the relationship should have so much trust..that you and this person are willing to put all your savings in one account.. because.. it's not "yours and mine" but "ours" when you're married.

 

however, by the same token, some people are [bleep]ing retarded when it comes to money.

 

growing up.. my mom would always hide a little bit of money from my dad.. and keep it for presents etc. how she got the money.. she'd take money for groceries and shopping and try to find as much deals as she could.. and save as much money as she could.

 

my dad on the other hand.. never had much money.. in terms of saving.. he took other jobs to get more monies..

 

 

 

so that's where my idea of separate accounts with a set of monies inside for emergencies, presents and whatnot.

I was raised to treat credit cards like debit cards so I never use it when I don't has the money to pay for it straight away.

I don't have credit cards yet, but they scare me. Not from the movies they showed us telling us "oh so many college students kill themselves over credit card debt" but because of stuff my mom's had to deal with. I mean, to build credit I'll have to have something, but they'll be treated like debit or true emergency uses only

Nice surname, Emily.

 

And nice Youtube account.

But then you would have to control how much money the other puts in his/her account, how much he/she spends, etc etc etc.

 

that's the whole point napalm.

 

communication.

 

it shouldn't be hard to discuss finances with your spouse.. saying you'll spend x on gas and heating, y on food, and z on other misc household stuff

and you use that monies from the main account, and give each of you an agreed allowance for personal stuff... like if you want to buy lunch instead of pack a lunch.

 

little stuff like that.

so rachael is it your idea that the money in the separate accounts be money that they had saved up independently? Because I thought that the money would just transfer from the main account to the secondary accounts as needed. Like they agreed to have $5000 in each of their separate accounts, and at the start of each month, they fill it back up to 5000 if they spent any.

Yeah, didn't care enough to block them out, and the last name is already known by the stalkers of the thread anyway

 

I do need a new facebook picture though, I'm not good at changing it or having good pictures taken

I could go to the winter one I had for about... an hour last year before getting sick of it

I like that pic. dunno why.

I mean, you all totally want this

I especially like the black lines from the screen, since my sister was taking these from inside

 

Oh and wits is creeping my photos just so you all know

But then you would have to control how much money the other puts in his/her account, how much he/she spends, etc etc etc.

 

that's the whole point napalm.

 

communication.

 

it shouldn't be hard to discuss finances with your spouse.. saying you'll spend x on gas and heating, y on food, and z on other misc household stuff

and you use that monies from the main account, and give each of you an agreed allowance for personal stuff... like if you want to buy lunch instead of pack a lunch.

 

little stuff like that.

 

But as communicative adults, you shouldn't need "allowances", just talk over wht you want to do with the money and done.

so rachael is it your idea that the money in the separate accounts be money that they had saved up independently? Because I thought that the money would just transfer from the main account to the secondary accounts as needed. Like they agreed to have $5000 in each of their separate accounts, and at the start of each month, they fill it back up to 5000 if they spent any.

 

NO..

 

All of the money saved up should be in one account.. well the bulk in a savings account and the rest for daily household use in a regular checking account.

 

then both of us would have a regular checking/savings account where we would recieve an "allowance" from the main account.

at that point.. if either of us had yet another savings account.. the money in there would be only from our personal cheqing account.. [there could be valid reasons for this.. and if i trust my sex slave husband, i won't question it]

So now I'm creeping my own photos, going through mobile uploads, there's one of Cyndi sitting in a box while cleaning... I just laughed because that box was full of old underwear and socks

Oh! I like the allowance idea better than my idea. It means you have to spend just a little or you'll run out and be unable to make secret selfish purchases.

IN '87 HUEY RELEASED THIS:

But then you would have to control how much money the other puts in his/her account, how much he/she spends, etc etc etc.

 

that's the whole point napalm.

 

communication.

 

it shouldn't be hard to discuss finances with your spouse.. saying you'll spend x on gas and heating, y on food, and z on other misc household stuff

and you use that monies from the main account, and give each of you an agreed allowance for personal stuff... like if you want to buy lunch instead of pack a lunch.

 

little stuff like that.

 

But as communicative adults, you shouldn't need "allowances", just talk over wht you want to do with the money and done.

 

not everyone is as financially responsible as you napalm.

 

to be honest.. i thought that i was financially responsible.. but if i was.. i would have noticed that my monies was running out paying for all of my ex's stuff...

although to be honest.. if he didnt demand me pay him $100 as a birthday present, as well as give his sister'[s birthday presents each [same month] and then later on demand that i take him out to dinner for a birthday present which came up to like $60-80 and get mad when i insisted on giving the waitress a tip.. she was his friend's mom and he didn't want to tip her. wow.

 

and added to that i was paying for food for both of us everyday!!! :angry: as well as movies sometimes..

 

never again.