Last one to post wins

[H2PM]

I think I'ma go on a bike ride in a lil bit.

[SeanyTheSailor]

Just crossed the Mississippi.

I think I'll go running soon.

[SeanyTheSailor]

At the Atlantic. Not sure where though.

[SeanyTheSailor]

Ohai Massachusetts

[SeanyTheSailor]

Can't find DA BURGH. Will have to make do with Philthadelphia...

[Pepsiguy]

hell if i care if you guys know my full name

 

 

 

[H2PM]

You should start caring when Tyler sends you gay porn and anthrax through the mail.

 

[bleep]ing ass.

[Pepsiguy]

if i do

i will laugh my ass off the first time

other times it shall be burned

[silver_wits]

Guys, I need help.

 

I have a very close friend who is 16 and has never kissed a girl (nothing wrong with that). Thing is, he's been in a relationship with a girl a year older than him for over a year. It's [bleep]ing obvious she loves him a lot, so it's not like he'll get rejected, but he just can't bring himself to do it. I'm struggling to think of tips to give him to help him gain the courage/knowledge/whatever, so I thought more opinions could be helpful.

 

(Asking here cause you guys and gals are cooler than the ones on the relationship thread, and judging by their previous answers to such question they'd just say "He needs confidence" which doesn't help at all.) ^{Small text is small.}

 

tl;dr: Advice on first time kissing, pl0x.

 

my response to you depends on if she had her first kiss

 

there's a few reasons why i wouldn't kiss a guy:

1. if i haven't had my first kiss yet, i'd want it to be special, and would be waiting for that one spevial moment so i'd never forget it.

 

2. i'm waiting on him to make he first move... muahahaha

 

3. if this 'relationship' is in the friendship phase still, she might not want to kiss him yet.

 

4. i think i would be a bit wary about the whole age of consent thing. not sure what age it is where you live. also i'm betting she has lots of people telling her that girls are more mature than boys at that age.

 

5. maybe he should ask her to be his gf

 

6. she could be in love with someone else who is just amazing and better than you... like Severus sexy Snape...

 

7. she could be asexual and is just interested in cuddling. see http://ASEXUALITY.org

 

8. depending on her religious AND moral views, she may be under the delusion that kissing leads to sex and that only harlots kiss etc.

 

9. she might be in the closet and secretly lusts after your sister

 

10. maybe she has this ultra secret fantasy of stealing his first kiss when they're watching tv, it gets boring and she straddles him and just molests him.. and she's waiting for when he's completely defenceless and not sitting with his legs crossed and his hands in his lap like a [bleep]ing little girl!

 

ok i'm out of ideas.

 

i stole some guy's first kiss who was a year younger than me when i was four. some guy kissed me out of the blue when i was sixteen and i forgot about it.. and i had my first tongue kiss when i was nineteen.

 

which says a lot about my life.

[Psycho_Robot]

Wow silva way to kill the conversation with your disgusting perverted guttermouth.

 

Ben, what your friend must do is pretend to have a heart attack in her presence. She will administer cpr if she is worth your friends time. During onee of the rescue breaths, your friend ends the facade and bam. Surprise tongue. Remember the scene from the sandlot? Tell him to watch that for reference, but to expect less onlookers or stigma.

[Jehosaphat]

Guys, I need help.

 

I have a very close friend who is 16 and has never kissed a girl (nothing wrong with that). Thing is, he's been in a relationship with a girl a year older than him for over a year. It's [bleep]ing obvious she loves him a lot, so it's not like he'll get rejected, but he just can't bring himself to do it. I'm struggling to think of tips to give him to help him gain the courage/knowledge/whatever, so I thought more opinions could be helpful.

 

(Asking here cause you guys and gals are cooler than the ones on the relationship thread, and judging by their previous answers to such question they'd just say "He needs confidence" which doesn't help at all.) ^{Small text is small.}

 

tl;dr: Advice on first time kissing, pl0x.

Alcohol. Alcohol everywhere.

 

Just kidding. But I'm in very nearly the same boat as your friend, so I can't be of much help.

 

Also, lol@ pie saying every /FG/er's identity has been revealed but his.

[H2PM]

Stork I will find you.

[Psycho_Robot]

I have a facebook profile in the name of Grover Cleveland

[Jehosaphat]

Stork I will find you.

Good luck, you'll need it.

[Pepsiguy]

i would just say when the time feels right

i kissed lacey when i felt like the time was right

and everythingwentbetterthenexected.jpg

[silver_wits]

gross kissing advice

 

[hide]for kissing people... invest in a toothbrush with a tongue scrubber on the back.

 

your mouth doesn't have to be 100% clean... it just has to be fairly clean so when she kisses you she doesn't want to throw up because your germ infested mouth makes her grossed out.

 

when you kiss her, depending on how long your tongue is, it'll be uncomfy if you stick it in her mouth if its too short.. it might hurt.. in that case you can get her to put her tongue in your mouth by sucking on it etc.. but it might be uncomfy for her if her tongue is too short.

 

just do what feels good..

 

if you just leave your mouth hanging and don't move it... it'll be kinda gross for her.

 

so try to move around and investigate her mouth.

 

remember to breathe. if you're not comfy telling her you need to breathe... then hug herclose and kiss her neck or something while you catch your breath..

 

she might forget to breathe through her nose too! just because she pushes you away doesn't mean she wants the kiss to end.

 

look at her reaction, if she's gasping for breath, try kissing her cheek or something. if her face looks pissed off, let her go before she unleashes some ninja attack

 

try nipping her if she gets bored.

 

kissing isn't just with your mouth... your hands should be busy too... every girl has her comfort zone. the safest place to rub her is on her back!

 

but don't be afraid to explore other areas. if she complains, move your hands back to an ok surface area and continue kissing.

 

if she says you're boring, then you're not exploring with your hands enough. don't be shy! just grab some body part you like best about her.

 

[/hide]

[Psycho_Robot]

My real kissing advice: girls find nervousness cute. Initially anyways. It gets old after a while. So suggest kissing in a squeaky terrified voice.

[silver_wits]

hmm.. you're right!

 

if robot asked me for a kiss in a squeaky, terrified voice i'd let him kiss me...... on my feet.

[Psycho_Robot]

I don't want to kiss those. I don't knwo exactly where they've been, but I know enough that the thought of kissing them is truly terrifying.

[silver_wits]

-kicks pyscho and rubs the sole of her left foot over his lips-

 

should have thought about that before you asked!

[SeanyTheSailor]

has anyone here ever taken silva's advice...

[H2PM]

I'm gonna say no.

[SeanyTheSailor]

I'm gonna say no.

[silver_wits]

@ownage.

[hide]

my advice only works for girls like me.

 

my kissing advice is what i enjoyed. and i never kissed a certain guy ever again after he nearly made me puke due to not brushing his teeth.

 

since i know wut i want, i'm more likely to place his hands on my boobs etc. if he just keeps his hands on my back.

 

also that stuff feels great on bare skin. and i'm not afraid to investigate or take his clothes off

 

[/hide]

 

but i am aware that people have their spots where they dont want you touching! just apologise!

[Psycho_Robot]

I took her advice ones. The whole ordeal turned me into a hobo.