Everyday Tim will come to visit me. Stroking my back gently, he and I spend many quality hours together. Most of the time, his attention is usurped by this game called Run Escape but hey, I am not the jealous type! Its such a pleasure to be next to him - watching his eyes glued to the idiot box, following his fanatical hands as he poured his heart and soul into that game. Despite the pandemonium, his actions reflect a certain sense of rhythm and adroitness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today Tim took me on a wild adventure. The screen showed the usual activities that has began its dominance over my best friend's life style but wait! Something was different.....I noticed the monitor was especially gloomy. Dead trees, bent branches and not a sign of green, oh the scene truly scared me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I watched as Tim's character moved cautiously over that waste land. I can sense a smidgen of fear in him but I can also feel that he was waiting for something, something I can't quite put my finger on. As I was dazed in curiousty, Tim suddenly began to tremble as a dark figure loomed towards him. Watch out Tim! A red splash and another was all that takes to send Tim scurrying through the woods. Dodging tree after tree, the nimble character was almost out of harm's way when an arrow shot across the screen and pierced its and Tim's hearts. I noticed Tim winced but the loading screen soon gained my attention. I was delighted to find Tim was finally back among his friends again. Why was he crying though? Then I noticed! His smurf colored sword that he had worked for so hard was gone! Shoving me aside, Time ran to his room and slammed the door. I wanted to comfort him but I knew he would be ok again tomorrow just as times before. I will patiently wait here for him until he comes to visit me again so we can share our cries and laughters for once more. Oh, life is good as Tim's mouse!

Something was different.....I noticed the monitor was especially gloomy that day. Dead trees, bent branches and not a sign of green, oh the scene scared me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The entire post scares me :shock:

 

Something was different.....I noticed the monitor was especially gloomy that day. Dead trees, bent branches and not a sign of green, oh the scene scared me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The entire post scares me :shock:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never seen a talking mouse before? Oh those are quite common; you are just not following the trend Triplet. Stop falling behind!

Awesome short story! I probably wouldn't be able to peel off my eyes even if it were like five pages long. One thing that I could positively edify is the use of names being changed into more pronouns, but other than that I want to hear more from you :-)

Awesome short story! I probably wouldn't be able to peel off my eyes even if it were like five pages long. One thing that I could positively edify is the use of names being changed into more pronouns, but other than that I want to hear more from you :-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I tried so hard to distinguish Tim from his character that I used the word Tim at least ten times. Doh! Let me fix it and thanks for your super uper duper positive comment!

Anytime dude! And thanks for making me feel better! I've been too harsh on myself lately :-)

Okay, that was weird. Interesting, but weird. At first, I thought the last line was a typo of "Life is good at Tim's house", until I realized it was a talking mouse. Nice twist there.

 

 

 

Good work, spelling, grammar and punctuation are all proper and it's readable! I can't count the number of people's work I've read that are incomprehensible because they don't know the first things about writing; it's so nice to actually be able to read something without feeling a small part of my brain seize up as a result.

 

 

 

I look forward to reading more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

--Darg--

Okay, that was weird. Interesting, but weird. At first, I thought the last line was a typo of "Life is good at Tim's house", until I realized it was a talking mouse. Nice twist there.

 

 

 

Good work, spelling, grammar and punctuation are all proper and it's readable! I can't count the number of people's work I've read that are incomprehensible because they don't know the first things about writing; it's so nice to actually be able to read something without feeling a small part of my brain seize up as a result.

 

 

 

I look forward to reading more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

--Darg--

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did you assume it was a computer mouse or a rat? :wink:

I assumed that the story would be about a struggle of ones self. As the title suggested.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh and it was thinking it would be some toy of some kind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fair story though

I assumed that the story would be about a struggle of ones self. As the title suggested.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh and it was thinking it would be some toy of some kind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fair story though

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was actually trying to play around with the words a bit. Mein Kampf can be either interpreted as "My Struggle" or "My Life". And the story is in fact a sort of diary entry by a computer mouse. :shock:

I sorta guessed that it could be 'interepted' but that that was my first thought.

 

 

 

And it was more likey to to be a keyboard than a mouse, because mice can't type. :D

I sorta guessed that it could be 'interepted' but that that was my first thought.

 

 

 

And it was more likey to to be a keyboard than a mouse, because mice can't type. :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Haha, you got me there! :lol:

Were u planing a follow up or just the single story or a diffrent story or what??

Were u planing a follow up or just the single story or a diffrent story or what??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now that is better left to the imagination. :wink:

Hmmm, have you gained wings and are currently holding the Nooberlater 9000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

00000000000000000

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If not then my imagination has drawn a blank

Visualize, arch, visualize!

But why? You obviously are gonna do something but I really can't tell what

Why have you named it after the book that Hitler wrote in jail? It may have those meanings, but still!

yea why name this post the same thing hitler wrote his first book on.... he wrote it when he was in jail. Alot of racist and hateful things in it, and alot of nonsense thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your story has nothing to do with any struggle, it seems the thing watchign tims character was perfectly content.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

your title means my struggle... i see no struggle.

Hmmmm maybe though some sort of opening of the heavens some out there knows.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But until then you can't say that it was Hitlers book, because it wasn't it was a string of words that he used to justifie what he was saying. Just like a name, it can have many different points, and there for is not in fact evil. Some people connect it to Hitler, who was not evil(Insane but not evil), but used it to covey ideas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Try outside the box thinking

Either you are german (mien kampf = my struggle) or you are an avid fan of Adolf Hitler...?

And whats wrong with being Adolf H... I mean looking like Adolf Hitler... umm oh googalhihmer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Serouisly though are you gonna expand on this?

Yes I will. Follow up coming in 2 days.

yay

Either you are german (mien kampf = my struggle) or you are an avid fan of Adolf Hitler...?

 

 

 

have you ever thought about the fact that its a cool name even if it was used by one of the most brillant, evil, and Bipolar men the world has ever known? An intresting side note: Hitler was bipolar so sixteen million people could have been saved by a few lithium pills if they had been around at that time.