/obt/

[Obtaurian]

Hello Saru Inc,

 

This message is to inform you of the current status of your account. It would seem that you've recently broken a few rules. You are now banned from Obtaurian's blog.

 

Thank you for your time,

Jamflex Ltd.

[Alg]

RUINED FOREVER! HE WAS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO THIAS [cabbage]TY BLOG-TYPE-STYLE-DEVICE!!@!@#!@24132321!23 yeah.

[Obtaurian]

RUINED FOREVER! HE WAS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO THIAS [cabbage]TY BLOG-TYPE-STYLE-DEVICE!!@!@#!@24132321!23 yeah.

 

you don't mean that :(

[Saru Inc]

Hello Saru Inc,

 

This message is to inform you of the current status of your account. It would seem that you've recently broken a few rules. You are now banned from Obtaurian's blog.

 

Thank you for your time,

Jamflex Ltd.

 

 

 

Dear Obtaurian,

 

This post is to inform you of the current status of your life. For circumstances beyond anyone's control, save yourself, your life account has now gone into the negative. We regret to inform you, until this balance is brought out of the negative with the following, but not limited to: fornication with the matriarchal species, consecutive, and swift digestion of "jaegerbombs," a steady accumulation of friends on your book of face site, as well as all of your chores done on time, and some decent [[bleep]ing] hash brownines [sic], we will have to submit to the Government of the Universe, a 9001 Form. In other words, a form requesting certificate of proof that you indeed have a life. Nevertheless, if there is a negative balance, as it appears it is now at, the form will be declined, and you will have a no life label upon your Life Account, for the next 4-20 years.

 

We do however, appreciate your contribution to our embryotic sperm bank, your kleenex contributions have provided vast amount of research, based on the effects of kleenex lotion on sperm. Again, we do acknowledge, and in a sick bastardization of the word, appreciate, all you have to offer the fields of your study. The problem is that, unfortunately, we do regret to inform you that no one really cares.

 

 

Please work closely with us on this matter, no homosexual, and we hope to be able to get through this, without submitting a 9001 Form - Life Validation Form.

 

Sincerely,

 

Your mom.

[Obtaurian]

Okay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I [bleep]ing lol'd. I also put it on the first post of my blog.

[Saru Inc]

... Sir, this is serious business. Do you not value your rung on the societal ladder? Clearly, if you do ever wish to accumulate enough "testicles" to "male-up" and ask a Matriarchal Pack Leader out on a series of courtships -- the ultimate goal being procreation, you must heed to our rules. If you do not, we will force drastic measures upon you.*

 

 

 

We hope you will take this matter much more seriously, posting this letter on your front page is not only a violation of Law 34, Section 69, Subsection 00.1293, "don't be a [bleep]."

 

We will be in contact soon,

 

Sincerely,

 

Your Super Serious [sic] Mom.

 

 

* Such forces are to be decided by, and upon such instance, if to occur, by bonkers. Such decision may be influenced by marijuana, alcohol, Push Pops Blue Dazzle, and advice from Tabloids. However, said decisions shall not be affected, nor influenced by pity, mercy, Obtaurians hair style, and or, promise of getting the band back together.

[AndJusticeForOne]

I farkin' love you dudes.

 

And Lily Allen.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXW6G9yETO8&feature=related

[IHasChicken]

... Sir, this is serious business. Do you not value your rung on the societal ladder? Clearly, if you do ever wish to accumulate enough "testicles" to "male-up" and ask a Matriarchal Pack Leader out on a series of courtships -- the ultimate goal being procreation, you must heed to our rules. If you do not, we will force drastic measures upon you.*

 

 

 

We hope you will take this matter much more seriously, posting this letter on your front page is not only a violation of Law 34, Section 69, Subsection 00.1293, "don't be a [bleep]."

 

We will be in contact soon,

 

Sincerely,

 

Your Super Serious [sic] Mom.

 

 

* Such forces are to be decided by, and upon such instance, if to occur, by bonkers. Such decision may be influenced by marijuana, alcohol, Push Pops Blue Dazzle, and advice from Tabloids. However, said decisions shall not be affected, nor influenced by pity, mercy, Obtaurians hair style, and or, promise of getting the band back together.

 

To Sarufool,

 

I am contacting you on behalf of Obtaurian the Great as I am his legal advisor. This document is a subpoena to appear in court on the charge of "Harrassment of an Endangered Species," a charge that violates the Legal Code Law 1, Section 1, Subsection 1.1, punishable by death in 470 countries of the world.

 

On arrival of the court on the date specified (21st December 2012,) you will be subjected to watching 387 hours NON-STOP of the award-winning (but truly awful) sitcom "Two and a Half Men." You will then be presented with washed up actor Charlie Sheen, and we would ask that you perform fellacio on him until he asks you to stop (which will most likely be never, because Charlie Sheen is one of the biggest, stupidest homosexuals in the world.)

 

You will then present, in front of a jury of 12 chimps, your defence, which will be about as legitimitely regarded as Sarah Palin's run for Vice President. Then, also like Sarah Palin, the monkies will throw faecal matter at you until you beg them to stop, at which point they will pee on your head.

 

You will then be condemned to the gas chambers, where you will die by second-hand exposure to the legally smoked Mary Jane of the Plaintiff (the afore-mentioned Obtaurian the Great,) however, because second-hand Marijuana smoke is not harmless enough to kill you in any short-period of time, you will most likely die of starvation.

 

Your body will then be given a "state funeral", and the jury will be fed lunch (I believe the special is "Fillet Saru".)

 

Yours Humbly,

 

Some [cabbage]ting Lawyer.

[Obtaurian]

Okay. Wow. I can't even laugh at you guys anymore. I'm just impressed now.

 

 

 

jk i can laugh

 

 

 

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

[AndJusticeForOne]

They're good.

 

 

 

 

In bed.

[Loving_Brah]

You guys write like [bleep]. lrn2writeliekaman

[Alg]

You guys write like [bleep]. lrn2writeliekaman

Pfft. REAL MEN WRITE BY THREATENING THE PAPER UNTIL IT WRITES ITSELF. YOU'VE GOT TO BE ABLE TO WRITE WHILE ADMIRING YOUR PERFECTLY CHISELED BODY AND WRESTLING A DINOSAUR, AFTER ALL, AND REAL MEN HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS LEGAL ACTION [cabbage]. WE SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS BY PUNCHING IT UNTIL IT GROWS SOME BALLS.

[Loving_Brah]

You guys write like [bleep]. lrn2writeliekaman

Pfft. REAL MEN WRITE BY THREATENING THE PAPER UNTIL IT WRITES ITSELF. YOU'VE GOT TO BE ABLE TO WRITE WHILE ADMIRING YOUR PERFECTLY CHISELED BODY AND WRESTLING A DINOSAUR, AFTER ALL, AND REAL MEN HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS LEGAL ACTION [cabbage]. WE SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS BY PUNCHING IT UNTIL IT GROWS SOME BALLS.

 

This made me [bleep]ing laugh soooooo hard.

[Obtaurian]

I'M NOT EVEN ON THE COMPUTER RIGHT NOW BUT I'M POSTING BY SHEER FORCE OF MANLY, STEAK-EATING WILL. NOW BRB I'M GONNA GO KILL A SHARK WITH MY BAREHANDS, AND I'LL DEFINITELY USE ALL OF THE PARTS.

[AndJusticeForOne]

EAT THE TEETH. THEY MAKE YOU MANLYER

[Alg]

EAT THE TEETH. THEY MAKE YOU MANLYER

NOT MANLY ENOUGH WEAKLING

[Obtaurian]

I ONCE ATE A LIVE BEAR.

[AndJusticeForOne]

IWRESTLEDABEARONCE

 

THEN I RAPED IT

[Obtaurian]

That's not manly. :/

[Loving_Brah]

Koala Bear wooped my [wagon]. Dude they are high on [bleep]ing eucalyptus all day,

[AndJusticeForOne]

I need more [cabbage] to do until tonight. BLACK OPS GET

[Obtaurian]

I need more [cabbage] to do until tonight. BLACK OPS GET

 

MY BROTHER IS GETTING THAT TONIGHT. I WONT' SEE HIM FOR A FEW MONTHS LOL

[Loving_Brah]

Preordered NegroOps like last week. Probably won't play it until the weekend though. PC?

[Obtaurian]

x blocks

[stonewall337]

And I just decided to go to law school, and know saru is showing even ME up. Sadface

 

Can i sleep over sometime jimi?