Here's a revelation. Tell her the truth. Sure, she may not appreciate it at first but it beats sugar coating what you really want to say.

 

...because telling someone you think they are fat and may get chronic illnesses because of it won't at all risk causing potential depression, body dysmorphia, self-hatred, confidence reductions or any other number of mental issues that could lead to eating disorders, withdrawal from the family or even suicide.

If we took that sort of attitude to things in life we'd get nothing done. Sometimes people just have to be told because in the real world out there that's exactly what happens.

 

Edit - My apologies. I forgot. It has been mentioned to me a few times that the tipit community does border on the melodramatic and theatrical. I should remember this next time and put my social worker hat on :rolleyes:

Here's a revelation. Tell her the truth. Sure, she may not appreciate it at first but it beats sugar coating what you really want to say.

 

...because telling someone you think they are fat and may get chronic illnesses because of it won't at all risk causing potential depression, body dysmorphia, self-hatred, confidence reductions or any other number of mental issues that could lead to eating disorders, withdrawal from the family or even suicide.

Sounds like she has more serious issues than just weight gain.

Nothing to do with taboo, but it's the sort of armchair psychology that the every person can observe in their daily life, even inside their own head.

 

The thing I am considering is that generally, weight comes from life style. Now, as far as I can tell, most people do generally only make major changes on their own when it totally hits the fan, if even then. Usually, people change for other people, but the catch is that you can't ask them too. Other people are usually the impetus, but if you don't make the decision for yourself to change, then the change doesn't stick. This is much of the reason that I advise not making someone defensive, because the last thing you want them to do is rationalize their behaviour, which is exactly what someone on the defensive will do.

 

That's my reasoning.

 

Also, given the concerns about an eating disorder, I'd assume she already has self image issues, though perhaps I am assuming too much.

tl;dr

 

Low levelled has a hot sister

When did it become taboo to tell someone you care about that you're concerned?

 

Something like, listen, I know you eat healthy but that isn't always enough. I care about you and I want you to be around for a long time. You're going down a dangerous road that can lead to very serious health problems and I don't want to see that happen. Come exercise with me, let's go [take a walk / whatever you do].

 

It's that easy, and anyone who has a serious problem with hearing that is past helping anyway.

Because she probably knows that she's gaining weight but she doesn't want people to notice. All you'd accomplish by telling her is making her even more self-concious. Worse yet, she might try to spite you by eating more and exercising less.

 

Oh, and girls remember how much they weigh when they get called fat, and will get depressed and upset if they get near that weight ever again.

She's gained 15 lbs over 26 weeks and she's still a perfectly healthy weight. We're hardly talking about someone in the verge of chronic heart failure. I would intuitively be thinking "16 year old, weight gain... pregnancy?" but there's no evidence of that either.

 

I'm not so concerned about her physical health in relation to her eating habits. I'd be more focused about her psychological health and her perceptions around body image, and whether that's contributing to what the OP described as a "lack of self confidence". I'm not saying it is contributing, but it's definitely an avenue I'd explore.

You don't know anything about her lifestyle...

 

I think his posting this thread in the first place is evidence he cares about her well-being. You're making an argument where there isn't one.

She's gained 15 lbs over 26 weeks and she's still a perfectly healthy weight. We're hardly talking about someone in the verge of chronic heart failure. I would intuitively be thinking "16 year old, weight gain... pregnancy?" but there's no evidence of that either.

 

I'm not so concerned about her physical health in relation to her eating habits. I'd be more focused about her psychological health and her perceptions around body image, and whether that's contributing to what the OP described as a "lack of self confidence". I'm not saying it is contributing, but it's definitely an avenue I'd explore.

 

I think what Ginger is getting at is that we're gonna need some pictures to decide how "unhealthy" she's becoming over time.

 

After all Low Levelled, how do you expect us to advise you best on only your word?

She's gained 15 lbs over 26 weeks and she's still a perfectly healthy weight. We're hardly talking about someone in the verge of chronic heart failure. I would intuitively be thinking "16 year old, weight gain... pregnancy?" but there's no evidence of that either.

 

I'm not so concerned about her physical health in relation to her eating habits. I'd be more focused about her psychological health and her perceptions around body image, and whether that's contributing to what the OP described as a "lack of self confidence". I'm not saying it is contributing, but it's definitely an avenue I'd explore.

 

I think what Ginger is getting at is that we're gonna need some pictures to decide how "unhealthy" she's becoming over time.

 

After all Low Levelled, how do you expect us to advise you best on only your word?

 

Horny or drunk or both. Hehe.

 

 

But really we can blab on all day about this or that and it's not gonna really change anything. She can only seek change herself, is just best you help her not lose a sense of self respect, like a lot of girls do by purging, staring themselves etc etc.

So just guide her toward a healthy lifestyle and love her lota regardless of how it works out, in time if it matters enough to her, she'll do something about.

 

She is in no way in danger right now.