X_Fat4lyfe_X Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 DISCLAIMER: This article was NOT written by me. It was written by ExtremeXpkX, on RSR. Anyways, i found it pretty funny.....sol... Enjoy! :D NOTE: It is *pretty* long. Stick with it. Chapter One Frustration, anger, and most of all insult was what the Chicken King felt. How dare these Kalphites not take his proposal seriously. You see, two days ago a convoy of 10 chickens were sent on a peace mission to negotiate an alliance with the Kalphite queen and her kingdom. They came back a few hours ago, oh they came back alright, only that there were 10 packaged boxes tied with a ribon on each and a card saying Delivery to Chicken Queen From her Royal Highness the Kalphite Queen. Instead of finding a gift, the Chicken king found 10 cooked chickens, with the royal chicken empire emblem in each box. They will pay for this insult dearly, just as the human did a year ago. Nobody pushes the chickens around anymore! A year ago the Chicken king began a world wide chicken revolt, arming all the chickens with every bronze dagger they could get their hands on. Nobody took the revolt seriously and it only angered the chickens more. Then one day suddenly everyone found themselves being attacked by hundreds of chickens. Taken by surprise and not really expecting the chickens to fight so ferociously, the humans quickly suffered many casualties. Not wanting to suffer anymore, the human kingdoms of Misthalin, Asgarnia, and Kandarin all signed a humiliating treaty with the Chickens which resulted in two things. The creation of the Chicken Empire, and the freedom of all chickens at the hands of humans. Also Lumbridge castle was surrendered to the chickens and now it is the stronghold of the Chicken Empire along with the lumbridge swamp which is under chicken control. The chicken king turned to his chicken aide and shouted in anger, "Gather my Generals and have them meet me in my room in 5 minutes!" The aide quickly saluted with his feathery wing and surried off. **5 MINUTES LATER** The four strongest chickens and leader of the Chicken empire gathered in the room as they discussed what to do. "This is an insult to all chickens! I DEMAND SATISFACTION!" Hollered the chicken King. "Indeed, the Kalphites won't get away with the murder of 10 chicken messengers" replied Brigadier General Chuck-Chuck "We must respond in kind. I offer to send 10 000 of my finest chickens(lvl2) warriors to the Kalphite lands." as Colonel KFChicken said this he pulled out his bronze dagger and held it up high to the cieling, declaring war on the Kalphites. "And I will send a fleet of 10 ships armed with 10 dwarven cannons each and with 5000 chicken sailors (lvl 3)" Admiral McChicken said and he too drew out his bronze dagger along side Colonel KFChicken. Finaly the last of the chicken in the room spoke. "The journy will be long and the death will be high, these Kalphites are more vicious than the humans, and it is even rumoured that the Kalphite queen has god like powers. We must be careful in this war and not let our anger blind us." This chicken was old and clearly thought about everything he did. He didn't shout, but was heard whenever he talked. He is respected among his peers and feared by humans. This chicken belonged in no other groups than the group the humans called Evil Chicken. His magical powers surpassed those of the lowly human mages. His name is Lanook the Chicken, Human killer. The chicken king slammed his wing down on the table to signify the end of the meeting."Then it is decided! An army of 15 000 strong chickens will march to the Kalphite lair and let them know the true terror of the chicken empire in which they dare to insult! Brigadier! PREPARE THE ARMY!" "Yes my lord!" Saluted the Brigadier General and everyone left to prepare the army that would attack the Kalphites. The Kalphites had better hoped that they didn't just went too far in killing what they just believed to be another worthless living thing. Kiss my axe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_Fat4lyfe_X Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 Chapter 2 Lower Lumbridge 1 day later ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅAlright you chicks get your gear and letÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s move it before I hand your arse to the chief.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâà Kiss my axe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_Fat4lyfe_X Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 Chapter 3a The battleship ChickenÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s Pride was immense. In fact one could explore the ship for hours and still not be able to reach every part of the ship. The ChickenÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s Pride measured 768meters in length, 122 meters in width, and almost 200 meters in height. It was shaped similar to a slim triangle so that the guns on the lower deck of the ship could all have a line of shot to anything in front, while if need be the guns can be adjusted to face port or starboard of the ship. The ship itself carried 300 cannons in total. 150 cannons on one side and 150 cannons on the other side. The ship dedicated 3 whole decks to carry these cannons, so while one side of the ship had 150 cannons, they were split to 50 cannons per deck. With such dimensions, anything that attacked the battleship would first have to go through a hundred cannons. AdmiralÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s cabin ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅAdmiral, everything is ready, and all we need is for you to give the orders to the fleet.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâà Kiss my axe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_Fat4lyfe_X Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 When you view, can you please post? Kiss my axe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirith_knight Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Usually I don't like stories like this, but that one actually made me Lol. BTW, don't be discouraged if no one posts on ur thread in the 2 minutes you decided to wait, also, everytime you look at ur own thread it adds to the times viewded... so yea... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_Fat4lyfe_X Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 yeah, i took into consideration my views.... but i expect people to not post.. it is a rather long story.. Kiss my axe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirith_knight Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 yeah, i took into consideration my views.... but i expect people to not post.. it is a rather long story.. Lol, are you being sarcastic or not? If you aren't maybe you should check out one of my stories ><. There are much more lengthy stories than this, some people just don't post if thaey can't really find enough content to post about that could really be considered constructive criticism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
das_masta238 Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 lol funny made me laugh cant wait for the last chapters sonicsonaike exellent work ^^abstract lol 98% of teenagers have been drunk or around alcohol. Put this in your signature if you like bagels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_Fat4lyfe_X Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 yeah, i took into consideration my views.... but i expect people to not post.. it is a rather long story.. Lol, are you being sarcastic or not? If you aren't maybe you should check out one of my stories ><. There are much more lengthy stories than this, some people just don't post if thaey can't really find enough content to post about that could really be considered constructive criticism. This is the first chapter of my story. The whole story was pretty long, and i made a decision to post it later, so more people could bear to read it. And, no, i am not being sarcastic, where i found it on RSR, people viewed alot, and didn't post. Kiss my axe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geordiequeen Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 Hey cool story it made me laugh a lot when are you posting the next chapters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_Fat4lyfe_X Posted June 22, 2006 Author Share Posted June 22, 2006 yeah, i'll post more sotries when more people post... don't worry, they'll be out soon... :D Kiss my axe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaalsien Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 It's quite good. I was expecting it to be a load of random, badly-written junk, but it wasn't. Nice work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_Fat4lyfe_X Posted June 25, 2006 Author Share Posted June 25, 2006 thanks... :D Kiss my axe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_Fat4lyfe_X Posted June 26, 2006 Author Share Posted June 26, 2006 Edit: Bump. See? Happy? No more smilies! Only people complaining about them! Kiss my axe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForsakenMage Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 I highly recommend not spamming this thread any further unless you want it locked. Spamming on this forum will not be tolerated. ~The Librarian. Adventurer's Log || YouTube || Facebook || Tip.it Times Work || Wanna Join the Editorial Panel?Maxed Out 01 October 2012 PDT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_Fat4lyfe_X Posted June 27, 2006 Author Share Posted June 27, 2006 I highly recommend not spamming this thread any further unless you want it locked. Spamming on this forum will not be tolerated.This is my thread. I made the emotions so that the reader wouldn't have to read the trite word "bump"... I was not trying to spam my own thread. Kiss my axe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Necromagus Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Just because this is "your thread" doesn't mean forum rules don't apply to you here.In order to maintain an environment that promotes ease in the exchange of information, spamming is prohibited. Spamming includes posting the same message repeatedly, cross posting the same message in multiple forums, making pointless threads or replies, excessive use of "smilies", as well as any advertisements, chain letters, pyramid schemes, click-wars (referrals), or solicitations including ebay-type spam. Do not pointlessly bump old threads unless you're contributing to the topic. You may bump a topic in the Marketplace or a very important thread elsewhere, but not whilst the thread is still on the first page of the forum. My Tip.It Times Articles (10 and counting) || The Varrock Library Author Index projectDo you dare to dream? - Part 19 added. || The Hospital (WIP) - New story!Necromagus looks like a viking ... with glasses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_Fat4lyfe_X Posted June 27, 2006 Author Share Posted June 27, 2006 Okay. I'm sorry if i mortally affronted anyone because i put up six smilies instead of saying: Bring Up My Potatoes Sheesh. :? Kiss my axe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_Fat4lyfe_X Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 The last chapters are up. Read away! :D Kiss my axe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_Fat4lyfe_X Posted August 23, 2006 Author Share Posted August 23, 2006 *cough* :thumbsup: Kiss my axe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geordiequeen Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Is that the end of the story or is there more to come? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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