rate my story!

[deathgliger]

my story is about the god war and new quest, well here goes! :-$ oh yea and i will lay out some suggested runescape music peices that u could listen to whilst playing runescape and reading this! p.s, the tunes will be put in bold.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(chain of command) commander pkmaster0036 entered the room, where master deathgliger was awaiting him.( :pray: ) "what are your orders sir?" asked pkmaster. "saradomin tells me of zamoraks new threat, and that we must seek it out and destroy it". "where should we go? i have just recieved news about it, and i am sending my 2 best men on it as we speak".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

meanwhile, his best men were on their way to the destination, and great peril they did encounter, they were about to meet worse. (iban) a huge black dragon stepped in front of them, blocking the entrance with it's huge muscular body. "not again" says one, as he drew out his whip in a failed attempt to scare it off. the other drew out his magic bow and started rapidly firing at the monster, and soon, both of them were slowly but certainly destroying the dragon. after it had been slayed, they entered the cave. (grip of the talon) to meet 3 enormous black dragon heads! the ranger pulled out his bow and started to set it up, but soon realised a huge dragon foot was headed for him! all the other could hear was the cruching of his bones underfoot the dragon. she pulled out her whip, frantically beating the dragon with it, and later lay a huge corpse. she rushed back to master deathgliger and told him about it. he decided to take a balloon flight to varrok, for he was too far away. (floating free) he soared across the sky, taking in it's beauty, and soon enough, too soon, he landed. to some surprise, the zamorokian master had been waiting for him! the zammy leader ran to kharid, where the final battle between good and evil would begin, this battle would decide over peace, or chaos. this battle, had begun. (attack 4/dance of the undead) deathgliger drew out his whip, and started with a simple energy drain, to make sure he didnt run from battle. the zamorokian struck a deadly blow with a flames of zamorak, but deathgliger fought on. they fought and fought, until the zamorak leader struck the final blow... as the zamorokian leader slowly walked away, the saradominist called out in agony ( :boohoo: ) "you will not get away with this"! many rushed in aid of him, especially his girlfreind( :3> ), and he told her a few words, and the pain caught ahead and took away his life. (dunjun) he died in her arms and she weeped over his body( :cry: :cry: ), and asked a preist to give him a proper burial. everyone said their goodbyes and he was lowered into a pit, never to be seen again. that's what zamorak thought...

[Skate4u]

reported wrong forum #-o

[deathgliger]

soz it's my first post

[azntemplar_00]

Moved to Varrock Library.

[Justin742]

Good concept but the writing itself is a bit scratchy. Maybe give longer parts to the story and work a little on the grammar. Personally I would take out the smilies but if its what you wanted and its part of your style then it adds originality to it. I do like how you gave songs to listen to on the different parts of the story, to bad it would be difficult and/or annoying to choose the songs for each part.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7/10

[ForsakenMage]

Try seperating each section properly and read the writing guide. It will help improve your writing immensely.

[deathgliger]

yea i thought about that...

[Necromagus]

Then why didn't you do that before posting the story?