I'm guess I'm in the same boat as other TIFers. I'm in the same pool as other with poor fathers. I was and am and will continue to be embarrassed of the man called my father. I won't go into details on why, but it's a pity that he was such a poor father. But, this is life and one has to move forward. I definitely plan on changing my last name. Don't know if I will go far as how men are now doing in taking their future wife last name, but who knows. It's a possibility especially if she wants to keep her name. Glad that him being out of my and my mother and sister life have all been better for them and myself. Sure, a fatherly figure could have been real helpful especially when I was going through puberty, but I managed alright with different people throughout that time period. I would model after my friends (which were mostly jocks so this helped a lot especially when it came being tough and pushing yourself since their fathers did this to them), my Taekwondo masters (self-discipline and trying to live a good life), and as mention movies and even soaps (not the ones where the guy is usually cheating on his wife of course.)