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muggiwhplar

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Everything posted by muggiwhplar

  1. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    I threw out all my dishes and just used paper plates/bowls and plastic silverware when I was in my early 20s because I hated doing dishes and my apartment didn’t have a dishwasher. Otherwise, action precedes motivation. Set a timer for 1 minute, tell yourself you only have to do the dishes for 1 minute, then you can stop when the timer goes off. Usually when the timer goes off you’ll keep performing the task
  2. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    I'm not really doing it for the money-- my current career in sales/real estate pays very well and has a ton of freedom which will be difficult to replace, but I don't really want to be working in sales/real estate for the rest of my life since it's not something that I'm naturally into. I'm mostly switching to computer science since I feel like I'm more naturally inclined towards it. My friends/family always told me that it would be a good fit for me and a lot of women I meet from online dating are surprised that I don't work in that industry lol
  3. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    I signed up for CS50. Gradually transitioning my career into computer science since I feel like it's something I'm naturally suited for >_>
  4. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    As someone who's never followed politics and has never voted, I have no clue how you came to associate my perspective on dating with radical right wing beliefs. Not yours in particular, I suppose, but all the PUA figure heads I knew about turned into regressive political youtubers, so. And, I guess, in further fairness to you, that list might be a singleton containing Roosh V, but in fairness to me, a lot of PUA stuff is supremely sexist. Ultimately I guess I'm just saying it could have been a lot worse on the forum. These days I don't really associate myself with any kind of PUA/Manosphere/Red Pill stuff. When I was younger, I gave those communities the benefit of the doubt because I felt that their hearts were in the right place by encouraging men to become better versions of themselves. But now that I'm content with my level of success, I've had enough experiences to disprove a lot of their dogma and I no longer find it helpful to entertain their ideas. Not to mention a lot of their ideas are unfalsifiable and/or have been debunked as pseudoscience. In other words: they're right about many things (e.g. take responsibility for your life, go to the gym and develop healthy habits, etc.), but the things they're right about can be found elsewhere surrounded by less toxic ideologies; and the things that are unique to those communities are too misogynistic and pseudoscientific for my taste (e.g. the idea of alpha males and beta males; the idea that all women think/feel the same way about certain things). That being said, I apologize if I've said things to you in the past that came across as insensitive or hostile. That was not my intention and I hope we can let bygones be bygones. I think I'm done editing this post now :P
  5. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    Pretty much. Though the people who need that advice the most are, paradoxically, on their own to figure that out because if I try to teach it to them, it's essentially victim blaming... as evidenced by me trying to "help" people like Tesset, Alg, and Horatio with the things they were complaining about over the years. Kudos to Veiva for always giving me the benefit of the doubt. I will concede that groups such as PUAs have a very fluid and subjective ideology which is dictated by the individual. I don't really identify as a "PUA" (and I'm not sure if I ever really did to begin with, even if my mentors did). More like, I evolved into what PUAs would call a "natural" through years of self-reflection, self-improvement, and socialization. Dating coaches like Blackdragon influenced me a lot in my early 20s, but I essentially found myself to be happier and more successful by carving my own path and gradually "unlearning" a lot of his philosophy since it's at odds with my values and my personality. For example, Blackdragon has abnormally low empathy for others and I have abnormally high empathy for others (even if my posts don't reflect that since you usually only see the side of me that's ruthlessly debating something online). Now that I'm older and more experienced, I view a lot of his advice as leading women on and being deceptive. He might not be as misogynistic as some of the dating gurus out there, but if misogyny has a spectrum, I think he's definitely on it. As it stands now, I still go on anywhere from 1-5 dates per week, and end up having sex with about 1 in 3 of women I meet. But it's important to note that unlike Blackdragon (as well as most PUAs and men in general), I'm entirely upfront and honest about my intentions with them on the first date. I tell them that I don't want to lead them on and that I'm not looking for any kind of commitment; I just want to meet cool girls and have fun. Unsurprisingly, every woman lights up when I tell them that-- even if we don't end up having sex because we're on different wavelengths. I think they're used to meeting guys who are either indecisive about what they're looking for, or they know what they're looking for but they don't have the balls to be upfront and honest about it. Blackdragon led me to believe that being upfront and honest like that doesn't work; he's wrong. I think he's just really bad at communicating... which ties into having low empathy and emotional intelligence, as well as a dose of toxic masculinity which makes him averse to talking about his feelings and trying to put himself in others' shoes.
  6. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    As someone who's never followed politics and has never voted, I have no clue how you came to associate my perspective on dating with radical right wing beliefs.
  7. IME it'll probably take at least 6 months before that anxiety starts to become more manageable. But I've always told women like that how I felt about them, and that I can no longer see them because of it. Helps with closure and makes it easier to essentially cut them out of my life until I'm back to being level-headed
  8. i got 200m Agility prior to the release of Silverhawk Boots...and am NOT Justin GED Ead aka Jebrim
  9. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    Please don't kill yourself
  10. not sure what exactly you guys are talking about since I seem to be out of the loop, but we've given you input in the past regarding your androgyny. people are going to think you're gay if you try to emphasize/express your feminine side. if you don't want people to think you're gay, then you're going to have to emphasize your masculinity and minimize your femininity. if you tell women that you like to wear dresses or that you've had sex with men before, they're going to think you're gay. if you abandon your lifting routine and end up being skinnyfat at 5'9 150 lbs (or less), they're not necessarily going to think you're gay, but they're also not going to view you as a masculine/sexual entity. same goes for if you don't have any facial hair, don't have confident/masculine body language, and self-edit/filter yourself when talking to women (meaning, prioritizing politeness over honesty).
  11. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    i once posted a low-effort ricky and morty quote on a popular thread and someone gave me gold for it lol
  12. I always thought the Tinder feed was a stupid way of Tinder devs trying to make Tinder into more of a social media platform like Facebook instead of a dating app. On Thursday night at like 10pm my Tinder feed updated to show a girl I messaged months ago suddenly adding a bunch of new photos. I took that to mean that she's back on the market. I just picked up where I left off and asked her if she wanted to meet up for drinks. Ended up going on an impromptu drink date with her and making out with her. I'll have to keep an eye on my Tinder feed more often :D
  13. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    I think understanding is definitely a prerequisite in this scenario. In an ideal world, it shouldn't be, but that's not how the real world works in this case. If Tess wanted to be called Malgoroth, the champion of the forgotten realms, would you call her that without question? If you would, that's good for you, but I'd argue that most people would be a bit apprehensive about that. I had an old coworker named Oscar. He didn't mind being called Oscar the Grouch playfully, but he drew an arbitrary line at Oscar Meyer-- he hated being called that for some reason. I respected that, so I'd make sure never to call him Oscar Meyer. But if he went on to say, call me Oscaroth, the champion of the forgotten realms, I'd tell him to go [bleep] himself :lol: But if he told me he was transitioning and wanted me to call him Oscarina, I'd be cool with that. I'd imagine Tess' mom probably doesn't believe that transgenderism is a thing. And she probably can't be bothered to do any research on it because it's propaganda to her and her son (daughter?) is brainwashed/delusional. But if she believed/understood how transgenderism works, I doubt she'd have any qualms about it. My cousin came out as gay a few years ago and his father wasn't pleased. But they both love each other and always have loved each other, so his father quickly came to accept and embrace it. I have a feeling Tess never had the same mutually-loving relationship like my cousin/uncle have, which makes it less of a cooperative "let's figure out how we can work through this together" and more of a competitive "I shouldn't have to change my beliefs/behaviors for you" dynamic. But I don't know either of them IRL so who knows.
  14. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    I feel like you’re contradicting yourself here
  15. i want to see the bot post about their dating experiences in the relationships thread while low key trying to sell me something
  16. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    It's kind of a mind-[bleep], really. Coming up on 30, married for a few years, and... now I'm wondering what else I've been missing out on. Is it purely hormonal? Does it suggest that my baseline dissociation has been stronger than we'd realized? Is it just my brain being stupid? I don't know, but you can bet your ass I'm going to ride it out. I listened to this a long time ago and thought it was interesting-- was curious how it compared to your experience w/ hormones
  17. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    How does it affect you psychologically?
  18. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    We should form a gang
  19. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    I'm in the same boat, for different reasons (been bulking so my clothes won't fit for long). You can prob get some cheap dress pants on sale somewhere or go to a thrift store. Or rent them if you'll only need them like once
  20. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    IIRC that's less of a thought exercise and more of a George Carlin standup bit :P the average person's IQ is gradually rising every year... I really don't think the average person is dumb. they're pretty well-rounded and intelligent compared to in the past. better to think that half the world's population is even smarter than that IMO. sure one idiot can cause a lot of damage, but the opposite could be said for one extraordinary intelligent person
  21. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    booty pics, you say?
  22. also you'll know your pics are good when you get consistent matches. I was only getting like 1 match per week when I had shitty photos, now it's up to 3-5 per day depending on how much I'm swiping. you will probably need to go out of your way to get good photos. you need to pick the correct outfit, the correct lighting/location, the correct filters, etc. my main pic, which really skyrocketed my results, is a closeup shot of me wearing a tux. my brother took a pic of me just standing against a wall in my bedroom, with the correct lighting, and we were joking around and one of the pics he took was while I was genuinely laughing. that pic ended up getting the best results for me. I also made the pic black and white since it looks better and makes it less obvious that I'm just standing against my bedroom wall. IMO it's sort of a waste of time to ask us for our opinions on your photos when you could just plug them into tinder and see if they're actually good or not. also, don't use tinder's smart photos feature. http://personaldatingassistants.com/tinder-pictures/
  23. just worry about having the most attractive photos as possible. unlike match/pof/okc, your profile description doesn't really matter on tinder. my tinder description just says "if anyone asks, we'll tell them we met on bumble"
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