Jump to content

muggiwhplar

Members
  • Content Count

    7750
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    106

Everything posted by muggiwhplar

  1. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    lucky you, mine's a gay 10/10 :(
  2. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    In an ideal world, I could open every woman online with a disclaimer saying, “hey BTW I have a really high sex drive so if we’re not getting closer to sex every time we meet, I’m going to spend my time/attention elsewhere.” Or I could tell every girl as soon as I meet them face to face, “Wow I’m very attracted to you and want to have sex with you” But sadly that’s not how the world works. (Though I have gotten laid in the past a couple of times by directly telling girls I want to have sex with them within the first 10 minutes of meeting them). That’s why I set personal standards/limits (which Ginger and Noxx don’t seem to do) to prevent me from being strung along. So you feel like you have to hide your intent while approaching a relationship, but it's your potential partners who are stringing you along, manipulating you? They're wasting your time by not meeting expectations you haven't made clear? No. I don't hide my intent while approaching a relationship... and I'm glad you brought this point up because it's an idea that I spent most of 2016-2017 exploring. Manipulation and intent isn't as black-and-white as "manipulative" vs. "non-manipulative." There's degrees of manipulation, and the vast majority of people aren't 100% honest and non-manipulative, in the sense of being radically honest and constantly having no filter between their thoughts/desires and their words/behaviors. Additionally, often times it's better to communicate with your actions rather than your words. Let me put it this way: on my dating profiles, I state that I'm looking for either casual or serious long-term relationships. I'm telling the truth and not lying about anything. When I pitch the meet, I always suggest coffee or drinks-- something short and casual because I don't want to spend a ton of money on a girl I might feel no chemistry with, and I don't want her to think I'm the type of guy that's willing to spend tons of money on her and treat her like a girlfriend as quickly as the first date. If the girl's looking for a guy that'll treat her like a princess and spoil her without sex, she's probably going to ghost me at this point or she might think I'm attractive enough that she's willing to bend her own rules and make an exception for me (similar to what Noxx seems to be doing). On my first dates, within the first 10 minutes I'm touching women on their forearms or shoulders and gauging how they react. If they recoil or seem uncomfortable I'll back off, maybe try again later when they seem more relaxed and comfortable, and then conclude that they're not into me if they never reciprocate. If they giggle or have a big smile all of a sudden when I first touch them, I assume they're into me and keep pushing the envelope. By the end of the date I'm usually rubbing her thighs, running my fingers through her hair and caressing her face/scalp while we talk and she smiles, gazing into my eyes, telling me how good that feels. Throughout the date, I'm letting her do literally 95% of the talking. If I talk too much, I risk them seeing me as more than just a hot guy, and as a potential long-term boyfriend... and if this happens, she might decide to "make me wait" for sex, because she doesn't want to scare me off. I'm very sarcastic and a bit of an [wagon] on my first dates because I don't want her to view me as boyfriend material or a nice guy at this point in our relationship. After the first date, about a day later, I'll send her a text and suggest we hang out again back at my place. She'll usually agree, and on the second date, within 10 minutes of just relaxing and talking on my couch or bed, we're making out and usually having sex soon thereafter. While I never at any point explicitly told them how I wanted to have sex with them (with the exception of me talking dirty to them while we're having sex), don't you think it's pretty clear to them that I'm a sexual guy that wants to have sex with them, by the way I behaved? How do you think she'd react if, on the second date, as soon as she started making out with me, I backed off and was like, "Whoa whoa whoa! What do you think you're doing?! I never said I was interested in you like that!" In the case of Noxx, IMO she's behaving like a woman who doesn't want to have sex with him, but still wants his attention/friendship. Then we're in agreement
  3. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    I agree. Now answer my question :P
  4. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    "...and I probably never will," I think, isn't always easy to know. I can say with certainty that I don't know you well enough to be interested in sex with you. Whether knowing you better will allow me to be interested in sex with you is something I can't know until we're looking back at it.Exactly— you’re gambling by investing your time and attention into a person like that instead of a person who’s certain about how they feel. We can argue all day about whether or not they’ll eventually come around; or if they don’t care about the tension they might be putting you through; or if they’re intentionally out to take advantage of you for as long as they can. The bottom line is that you need to set standards for yourself like I do, or else you’re at risk of indefinite frustration. The fact that Noxx and Ginger are eager to put themselves at risk like this, and only a few people on here view that as foolish, concerns me.
  5. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    If you continue pursuing a relationship with me for sex we're not having, I'm not the one wasting your time. By setting the expectation of sex on date $X, not communicating the expectation or how important it is to you, and then pushing it out each time it doesn't happen, you're stringing yourself along.We're exchanging attention, sharing experiences, opening ourselves; if that means nothing to you without sex, I'd prefer you make it clear early so I don't waste my time. In an ideal world, I could open every woman online with a disclaimer saying, “hey BTW I have a really high sex drive so if we’re not getting closer to sex every time we meet, I’m going to spend my time/attention elsewhere.” Or I could tell every girl as soon as I meet them face to face, “Wow I’m very attracted to you and want to have sex with you” But sadly that’s not how the world works. (Though I have gotten laid in the past a couple of times by directly telling girls I want to have sex with them within the first 10 minutes of meeting them). That’s why I set personal standards/limits (which Ginger and Noxx don’t seem to do) to prevent me from being strung along.
  6. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    Because it's not? Like, I don't know what you want here. What you're interpreting as "stringing people along" I'm interpreting as "waiting until they're ready" or "enjoying the romantic portion of the dating but not the sexual portion"If you knew you didn’t want to have sex with someone, but you chose to tell them, “I’m not ready to have sex with you yet,” rather than “I don’t want to have sex with you right now and I probably never will,” and then they chose to keep hanging out with you, waiting for you to come around, would you consider that stringing them along?
  7. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    Tesset you’re dodging the question and changing the subject. Why do you believe that stringing people along isn’t manipulation?
  8. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    “I want to take things slow” is essentially the same as when a woman online says “I want to talk some more before we meet up.” She’s probably wasting your time (either intentionally or unintentionally; doesn’t matter) and you’re giving her your attention (which is what she really wants) for free with nothing in return. Tesset probably doesn’t mind going without sex indefinitely because she’s literally asexual. And IIRC, in the past Ginger was notorious for posting about having unrequited feelings for women who wouldn’t have sex with him, but would have sex with guys who didn’t comply with her every whim. So it’s important to understand the context of their opinions here.
  9. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    I mean, I wouldn't want to date someone who took "I wanna take slow" as "She never wants to have sex with me and is just leading me on" either. Sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy there. I have dated and, because of the nature of the job I do, have quite a few female friends. I think most of them would agree with Tesset's perspective. If a guy (or girl) they're dating can't take the statement "taking things slow" at face value, much less accept that, then it doesn't bode well for much else in that relationship. And how many of them did you eventually have sex with, and how long did it take? I have a high sex drive-- if I'm on a 4th date with a girl and she still won't even go beyond making out, that just means we're incompatible. I'd rather move on to someone else with a high sex drive who has no qualms about having sex as quickly as the 2nd date. Plus there's tons of guys out there who are willing to go several dates/indefinitely without getting any action (like you); those are the types of guys she should be looking for. It's not fair to me to keep waiting indefinitely when sex might not even happen, or to keep me waiting only to find out we're sexually incompatible. And it's not fair to pressure her into having sex sooner than she's comfortable with just to keep me around. Some people are simply incompatible; the sooner you can recognize this, the better. Trying to get each other to do things they don't want to do is usually an unhealthy way to begin a relationship. I’ve slept with 3 different women in the past 30 days thanks to filtering out women who aren’t compatible with who I am and what I’m looking for. My system works.
  10. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    Eh, been in his situation if she loses interest odds are someone else will come along anyways.Same. When a girl says something like how she wants to take things slow, that’s usually woman-language for either “I’m not interested in having sex with you, but I still want your attention” or “I know you want to have sex with me, and I might have sex with you too, but I want to see if I can get you to comply with my preferences and wait for sex so I can be in control of the relationship and lose attraction for you sooner for allowing me to do this”Can you just like take a step back and see how creepy statements like that look from a woman's perspective? I don't even mean mine. I've dated as neither a man nor a woman, I'm about as neutral a third party there can be. It just reads as incredibly manipulative. Date a lot of women and you’ll understand the context of what I’m saying
  11. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    Eh, been in his situation if she loses interest odds are someone else will come along anyways.Same. When a girl says something like how she wants to take things slow, that’s usually woman-language for either “I’m not interested in having sex with you, but I still want your attention” or “I know you want to have sex with me, and I might have sex with you too, but I want to see if I can get you to comply with my preferences and wait for sex so I can be in control of the relationship and lose attraction for you sooner for allowing me to do this”
  12. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    Sounds like Noxx is headed straight for the friend zone, but I could be wrong :P
  13. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    [bleep] off I wasn't. I had to go to CMH Crisis Center today because I was so depressed but "lol i must be drunk" @muggi It's evident I'm unattractive or have other qualities that make me worthless so dating is pointless. I already recommended taking a break from dating for 6-12 months until your gym results start manifesting for this very reason. I don't think you're capable of dating women right now (for various reasons); you're just going to be disappointing and frustrating yourself, which will affect your self-confidence. At least if you take a break from the failures, you'll have time to rekindle some hope for when you try again in better shape
  14. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    Those two traits seem mutually exclusive... hard for me to empathize since I can't think of any situation where I'd want to be more feminine. But seems like if I were bisexual, within the context of dating, I'd want to behave as femininely around men as possible and as masculinely around women as possible. But your body sort of forces you to choose one or the other. If you end up getting muscular, you're going to be perceived as masculine by default, and vice versa if you don't remain consistent in the gym. You've probably already done this, but if I were in your shoes I'd be searching the internet/forums for bisexual men who have what you want in terms of dating success with both men and women; and then see if you can copy what they did to emulate their success
  15. I just downloaded it but haven't listened to it yet. They're prob my favorite band after Dream Theater. Though I get kind of annoyed when they constantly sing about being oppressed since they're three rich, good-looking rock stars. The album description is sort of discouraging: "From the retro-futuristic cover art by Stranger Things poster designer Kyle Lambert to lyrical themes of oppression..." I've always felt like the type of music I listen to partially affects how I view the world and how I think, feel, and behave. So when they sing about being oppressed, I have to work hard to either tune it out and ignore the lyrics or reframe them such that the oppressor isn't some external force or group of people (like the band wants you to think), and rather the oppressor is just some sort of conflict I'm working on overcoming in my own life-- whether it be my fear of doing something outside of my comfort zone, or the laziness to not pursue my long-term goals and instead pursue instant gratification Unnatural Selection was probably my favorite song for almost 2 years, from 2014-2016, I'd listen to it almost every time I'd go to the gym since the music was very motivating... which is ironic since the song is essentially trying to argue that you have no free will, and any success you attain is mostly a result of luck. Matthew Bellamy said, "This song is influenced by the book 'Black Swan' which is basically a whinge about how we live in a 'winner takes all' world i.e. those who do well take more and more and the losers have to settle for less and less. Amongst other things, the song is saying 'If you can't beat them, then join them.'"[7] On My Taratata, a French TV program Matt said, "The song Unnatural Selection is about luck, and how much luck has a big impact on people's lives, depending on where you're born, where you are." http://www.musewiki.org/Unnatural_Selection_(song) Yet, there I was at the gym, essentially swimming against the currents of fate and my shitty genetics by constantly pushing myself harder. I benched 210 lbs for the first time when I weighed 125 lbs listening to that song lol. Meanwhile there's guys sitting on the benches next to me who weigh at least 50 lbs more than me, benching less than me, because they don't train as hard or as consistently as I do. If I believed in the lyrics of the song, I would've been average and weak like they were-- and that sounds lame af
  16. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    no vote for me instead— I’ll even trim your armor for free if you do
  17. that's good progress-- probably faster progress than when i was in your shoes. keep being consistent
  18. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    I nominate the ladies of the recent notorious porn gifs for our next miss hottie competition
  19. yeah-- women tend to look for excuses just to get your attention if they're into you since they won't be upfront and direct about it (that's the man's job)
  20. In the past, when I was a scrawny (albeit confident) guy, the only way for me to know was to make a move and see how she responded. But after my recent bulk I can usually tell right off the bat if she’s into me or not, on a visceral level, just by the way she looks at me and acts around me. You’d know it too if you saw it; if you have to ask, then that means you need to make a move more often (because they rarely will)
  21. Did you touch her at all? If not, she’s prob gonna assume you just want to be friends
  22. I think you’re more attached to TIF than I am
  23. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    If you have any misdemeanors or felonies on your record, it will vastly limit your rental options. Most apartments dont allow felonies or misdemeanors; so if you find a community which does allow them, the people who live there might also have misdemeanors/felonies
  24. muggiwhplar

    Today...

    My house looks like a frat house most of the time. It's okay. It's amazing how fast your place gets clean when you have a girl coming over though. goon is probably the spammer tbh Conspiracy. I'm in. i bet arceus was the spammer
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.