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Everything posted by muggiwhplar

  1. tomorrow I'm going to begin my plan to revitalize TIF
  2. muggiwhplar


    here we can talk about what we're going to do tomorrow
  3. If you enjoyed their company, before you leave you can say something like, “Hey I enjoyed your company. If you want to hook up or hang out again, I’m down. But if you just wanted a one night stand, I understand, and that’s cool too. Anyway here’s my contact info, feel free to message me if you want, I’m down to meet up again if you’re interested too. Otherwise, thanks for the good time”
  4. To be clear, by “hookups,” are you referring to one night stands? Or just any sort of casual sex outside of a relationship?
  5. Those qualities you listed are nice to have in a long-term partner or a friend but they’re not necessary for a hookup. You need sex appeal for a hookup (and consequently, a relationship). If you’re already getting laid, albeit infrequently, then you can just keep putting in the numbers. Otherwise you have to develop more sex appeal if you want to increase your first date->sex ratio
  6. Can you elaborate on why that's a bad idea? I've never had any issues giving out my real number >_>
  7. Online dating's a race against the clock. The longer you wait to meet up, the more likely it is that some other guy will show up and get priority. As someone she's never met before, you're at the bottom of the totem pole until you meet face-to-face. On Tinder, if I don't schedule a date on the same day or the following day, I'm probably never going to meet them. But if you must schedule the date further than 48 hours away, you need to be communicating with her frequently enough so that she doesn't forget about you, while at the same time still keeping her interested in meeting up... which, to me, is a huge pain in the ass so I usually just unmatch if they can't meet up within 48 hours. If you're getting dates within a reasonable amount of messages exchanged, you probably don't need to worry about moving faster. The main reason people recommend pitching the meet ASAP is because a lot of women you talk to have no intention of ever meeting you (for various reasons), but they'd still love to talk to you indefinitely and waste your time. Pitching the meet ASAP filters out the time wasters. I've never had any issues giving out my phone number. Though on Tinder I don't exchange numbers at all until after the first date since the Tinder app works fine for texting. This is what I do. The other way works too though. Do whatever you want.
  8. Women can go for effeminate men... just not online where they're basically forced to choose between masculine and effeminate. You're better off meeting women IRL and getting to know them over a period of months if you don't want to explore your masculine side. Beware the friendzone though :P
  9. See that's the thing, I don't match with women on Tinder. (On OkCupid I had some more luck but it was usually with non-cis/non-straight women b/c OkCupid insists on pointing out I'm bi I guess). I don't think my pictures are bad (I used pictures 1 & 2 + a third I haven't posted that's at least ok); they're a lot better than most guys (anecdote, some acquaintances/friends showed me their Tinder queue things + my experience looking at guys' profiles while swiping). I think my bio is ok at worst: But no matches. Even when I had Tinder Plus for a month not even fat and/or ugly women would swipe right (few exceptions). I think I'm attractive (above average?) but either women literally only swipe right on 9+/10s, Tinder is putting me at the bottom of the queue, or I'm screwing something up. I do so much better in person (of course that's not relevant), so again I'm just left confused. In my experience, you really have to emphasize the masculine aspects of your personality if you want women to notice you online. Unless you have a traditionally-masculine appearance (meaning you're rugged-looking or have big muscles), then you're going to have to convey masculinity through your profile description... which isn't an option on Tinder and Bumble. So consequently those dating apps should only be used as supplements for OKC/POF/Match, where you should write a ~500 word profile description to compensate for your photos. My original profile on OKC/POF was just generic boring stuff about how I was a college grad, what my hobbies were, what I was looking for, and maybe some lame jokes/puns sprinkled in. It took me about 200 openers to get a single date. So then I rewrote my profile to make me sound like a bit more of a jerk and then my results went up to 40 openers per date. For example, instead of saying "I'm an introvert" on your profile, instead try, "I love being by myself. If you're going to need my attention 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, consider talking to somebody else or adopting a puppy. :)" This conveys that you're an introvert and, more importantly, that you don't give a [bleep] if they're interested or not. It also implies that you're picky and have a lot of options-- and that you're trying to filter out the women who really need lots of attention. Your profile should convey that you're smart, successful, humorous, non-needy, and a bit of a jerk.
  10. 8 (in my case) isn't too far from 10... Since you're good at what you do, what kind of pictures should I use on Tinder and OkCupid? [hide] 0) Thought about using this one: Currently using: 1) 2) 3) [/hide] Personally thinking of getting a photo with a friend or two (if I can manage to get more than one to meet up with me ._.) to replace #3, and get a better torso-up picture to replace #1. I think #2 is great. #0 would be near the end if I use it, but I think it may scream "nerdy." For the bio, I don't remember what I had (I deleted my Tinder account once I stopped getting any matches, apparently there's some ELO rank system and I guess I hit the bottom, plus I didn't match with women often.) The only line I've ever liked is "I make some of the best pizza you've never had" but am at a loss for the rest. Was thinking about something a little silly like: (That's the idea, not the verbatim.) OkCupid is bit harder since it should be serious so I honestly have no idea what to do for my main bio there LOL. I had better luck with OkCupid with what I had. It was something like: If you're satisfied with the number of dates you're currently getting then you don't need to change anything. As a rule of thumb I wouldn't have any more than 2 or 3 photos, and try to have as much variety in your pics as possible. Your sense of fashion looks good. My profile description on Tinder/Bumble's almost always empty, whereas my profile on a website like OKC will be like a 3 paragraph essay. I think there's a feature on Tinder you can use where it'll tell you which of your pics are the best.
  11. muggiwhplar


    he vaguely reminds me of Gay Robot
  12. Stick with it. People who have that effect on you are more common than you think. I’d say I develop a crush on a girl on the first date maybe 1 in every 10-15 first dates
  13. muggiwhplar


    Obligatory essay: I heard about that book via Blackdragon back in like 2010. It played a large role in my life in my early 20s; would highly recommend it to anyone. Probably the #2 self-help book of all time that I've ever read, behind Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living... I love all of Brian Tracy's stuff, especially as a salesman, but Maximum Achievement pretty much sums up all of his core messages/advice. I think in order to make the most out of any sort of self-help book you really have to be a "pro-active skeptic," as Tim Ferris called it. Meaning, you can't just blindly follow every guru's advice and expect it to work out... and at the same time you can't just dismiss all of their woo-woo advice because you have your own reasons to doubt it. The biggest recurring theme I've noticed among self-help authors is that they tend to preach the merits of having an internal locus of control, or essentially the belief that who you are today and what you're doing right now is the product of your own decision-making, rather than fate/luck. In his famous The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey refers to this as "being proactive" instead of "being reactive." Tracy calls this "complete responsibility." Tracy will go as far as to say things such as, "It's literally impossible to feel a negative emotion at the same time as accepting complete responsibility for something bad that happens to you," and this is true for people who have never maintained this thought process before... but for someone like me, who's been trying to follow this train of thought for almost a decade now, I can tell you for a fact that there will be times where claiming 100% responsibility will take its toll on you :lol: To be more specific, when really upsetting things happen to me, and I think of how it was my responsibility, I'll consequently feel guilty or frustrated for not acting differently. But at the same time, it's still a self-empowering mentality to have. Because ultimately, if it's not my fault, then whose was it? And if I'm not the one who can change my decisions to change the outcome, then that's really discouraging IMO, because it's still a lot easier to change my own decisions/beliefs than it is to change someone else's. Ultimately, though, there's no real truth or answer as to whether or not we truly have free will, and thus the ability to accept 100% responsibility for everything that happens to us, both good and bad. But IME the belief that you're at the world's mercy and everything you do is predetermined is a losing strategy in pretty much every aspect of life :P Even if it isn't always your fault, it's still best to ask yourself what you could do differently to prevent similar bad things from happening again in the future and to keep having good things happening to you. Like, you could argue that any time I go somewhere in public, there's a chance of a mass shooting happening. But I know the odds of that happening are extremely low, so I take the "risk" and go about my business, assuming that I won't personally experience a mass shooting in my lifetime. Though if I were to ever be in the wrong place at the wrong time and experience a mass shooting, I wouldn't blame myself for being there, because I knew that the odds were so low and I was legitimately unfortunate. However, if I were to somehow, for some reason, willingly and knowingly, move to an area with the highest gun violence, and then become a victim of it, I'd mostly blame myself for it. Because I knew the risk, accepted it, and was punished for it. Hopefully the differences between those examples is clear enough. A big part of my life is constantly assessing the consequences of my own decisions, as well as constantly monitoring my own behaviors because there's tons of decisions I make on a daily basis, completely on auto-pilot. It's difficult to try and assess the "risk" of every decision you're making, because that becomes a fundamental aspect of accepting as much responsibility as possible for your life. It's exhausting... but it's worth it IMO. But because it's exhausting, I can understand why I'm in the minority when it comes to this train of thought, so nowadays I try to no longer blame others for not adopting my philosophy. Hope that makes sense. I guess what I'm basically saying is: experiment with their advice for yourself and see if it improves your life; they mean the best for you and you don't really have much to lose by trying it out... but also try to examine all of their claims with a healthy skepticism to examine the limits of their advice. Also thanks for opening the can of worms, y_guy. I haven't written a long post on this forum in a long time and I forgot how fun and cathartic it is :D
  14. muggiwhplar


    Take a shot beforehand?Get really drunk beforehand to be more confident, then text your friends while driving for moral support IMO
  15. muggiwhplar


    metamucil is my new best friend
  16. muggiwhplar


    I've been doing GOMAD (gallon of milk a day) to gain weight since I've been 125 lbs @ 5'8 (56.7kg/173cm for those of you who don't use freedom units) basically since 2008 when I started lifting. originally wanted to bench 2x my bodyweight (250 lbs @ 125 lbs bodyweight), but could only get to 210 before it became too intense. had to put a towel on my chest for bench since the weight would bruise my chest otherwise lol, and my joints were always sore. currently weighing 153 lbs, shooting for 165 (75kg). bench is relatively weaker now, only benching 215 @ 153... sad seeing my bodyweight increase faster than my bench. if you're a novice, you can add 5 lbs to your bench, 10 lbs to your squat, and 15 lbs to your deadlift every 48 hours if you want to maximize strength gains. after a few months you'll no longer be able to recover as quickly as you can now, and you won't get as strong as quickly as you can now, so take advantage of it while you can. at the same time, though, it's pretty brutal and requires a lot of discipline/consistency to maximize gains like that so most people don't bother... better to do something you know you'll remain consistent with, even it's sub-optimal.
  17. i agree w/ everyone's responses. you should prob include that you're bi on your profile
  18. muggiwhplar


    when you said "blender," I got confused and thought you were talking about grindr for a second there. I had to look up blender to discover that it's open-source 3D content creation program, which is much, much different from grindr-- a men-to-men dating site where you can find other men within 10 miles of you interested in having sexual intercourse in a public restroom >_>
  19. muggiwhplar


    Been unable to progress on my bench press from the last 3 trips to the gym because the strangers who spot me can’t follow instructions. I always scope around and start profiling everyone nearby, looking for whoever seems the strongest and most experienced. Me: Hey could you please spot me real quick? Them: Yeah no problem! Me: Thanks, I just need a liftoff on 3. I’m going for 5 reps but I shouldn’t need help. If I need help I’ll let you know, otherwise please don’t touch the bar because then it doesn’t count. Them: Ok gotcha They touch the bar
  20. http://www.tinderseduction.com/best-tinder-pictures-for-more-profile-matches/
  21. That’s part of it. I think monogamy is just naturally appealing to most people in theory, even though as you all know, I don’t believe that it’s a sustainable relationship model for most people. Imagine you’re in love with someone, and due to what you’ve been taught by society, you believe it’s possible for that person to love you and remain loyal to you for the rest of your life and neither of you will ever have to search for another partner and experience the discomforts of dating ever again. A lot of people, believing it to be possible, would be like, “that sounds amazing, sign me up!” The average person isn't comfortable with dating and doesn't have a lot of options, so monogamy is essentially a no-brainer for them. The thought of being alone is too terrifying and the thought of dating more than one person is too weird or difficult. --- Regarding the friendzone, the only platonic friendships I have are with my coworkers until I'm not working with them anymore, the significant others of my friends, and my family. IME, platonic friendships aren't sustainable because one of us eventually develops sexual and/or romantic feelings for the other.
  22. muggiwhplar


    I can't fall asleep with a TV on anymore-- I don't even have a TV in my room these days. After using f.lux for the past few years, and having that "night shift" feature on my phone as well, I have a harder time falling asleep if I'm looking at a bright screen before bed... but with that said I almost always fall asleep listening to a podcast or audiobook or some shit.
  23. last time I saw one of these threads was before I watched game of thrones. after witnessing the sand snakes, I'm doubling down on emily
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