muggiwhplar

I think you're confusing morals w/ instincts. Our instincts usually override our morals because our instincts show us how to prosper as individuals, whereas our morals usually force us to make personal sacrifices in order for society to prosper-- with or without us. Biological wiring (instincts) trumps societal programming (morals). Nobody is completely capable of following their morals and logical mind 100% of the time-- we're emotional beings capable of logic, not the other way around. That's why we often sacrifice long-term well-being for short-term gratification. Or, in this case, sacrificing a long-term "healthy" relationship for a one-night-stand. Monogamy/marriage is based around the ideal that we'll follow our morals within the context of a relationship 100% of the time. Sadly, that puts restrictions on urges which are just too powerful for us to resist for that long. I'm only really addressing the idea that self-control is (becoming) a lost art. I think there was never much self-control to begin with, only control by the other through principles which don't make sense to everyone anymore or never really did. In this case, the article shows a case where morals don't lead to self-sacrifice for the well-being of society, which is why they're all the harder to follow. Ah, ok. Thanks for the clarification

Sure. But why would you choose to hate cheaters when you could choose to be happy? I tried to make it as clear as possible that the cheating analogy was just hypothetical food for thought :wall: lol I'll be straightforward then... again >_> Do you believe it's possible for two people to be in an honest, loving, and OPEN relationship? And if so, is there anything wrong with that? Would you consider it better than monogamy? Worse? The same? Why? Like I said in my response to Flyingjj, I don't think it's the concept of cheating that's bothering people and making everyone so defensive-- it's the implications of cheating: the possibility that open relationships are better than monogamous relationships. Well, that's one (cynical) way to put it I guess >_> But there's nothing wrong w/ following the rules like a drone unless you're unhappy. There's nothing wrong with monogamy unless it's making you unhappy. At the same time, if honest open relationships make you happier than monogamy, why would one choose the monogamy? Or, you know, we could just maintain monogamous relationships and not cheat. Yes, we could. But why would you choose monogamy over an honest open relationship?

I'm at 30FPS right now instead of the usual 10. So far so good >_> We'll see how much worse it gets during peak hours in a less secluded location.

My game has suffered from performance anxiety also since the bot nuke I agree with you on the term clarification though

I really wish you'd quit correcting people like that >_>

I'm actually getting 40 FPS consistently right now at Glacors >_> Though it is sometimes plummeting to 15ish before going back up to 40. I'm assuming this is just because it's early in the morning and there's very few people online, though.

I sense strong negative emotions in this one. Hopefully this isn't an emotionally-driven argument I'm about to read :P Like I said above-- there's a difference between morals and instincts. Morals generally benefit society, sometimes at your expense. Instincts generally benefit you, sometimes at society's expense. Yes, living PURELY on instincts would mean living like a caveman, but that's not what I am advocating. There's a fine balance between your biological wiring and societal programming. When it comes to relationships, you're probably going to end up happier by following your biology instead of societal programming. Not sure what you mean by post-sex relationships. Could you please be more specific? I'm talking about long-term monogamous relationships-- meaning a relationship between a man and a woman for 3+ years in which the man and woman both agree to have sex with only each other. If either of them violates that agreement-- with or without their partner's consent or knowledge-- then it is no longer a monogamous relationship, even if they choose to keep calling it that. I can't fight society and its system of monogamy-- and that's not what I'm trying to do. However, I understand the system and its rules and limitations, and bend those rules to my personal advantage to make me happier than the average person who blindly abides by the rules without considering alternatives and thinking for himself. Hate? Really? That's a strong word... you seem really angry, and it's really hard for me to want to be part of the system if that's what people in it are like >_> So you've clearly established that you don't like cheating. That's okay. I don't either-- cheating is lying, and lying is bad. But just for fun, let's "pretend" that cheating is inevitable for everybody-- some people cheat immediately upon entering a relationship, some don't cheat for years into a committed relationship, some don't cheat for decades into a committed relationship. Either way, everybody (hypothetically) eventually cheats. It's inevitable. Faced with this (again, hypothetical :P) realization, how do you react? Well one option is to become bitter about it and hate the opposite sex/the system. The other option is to reconsider how you perceive the opposite sex/the system-- sex is now much more fun and free w/o any stigmatization, judgment, or major repercussions! Like I told Ouchy earlier-- the situation hasn't changed. The only thing that's changed is how you perceive the situation. The choice is yours-- do you want to be happy with "reality" or bitter? And btw-- it's AWESOME being a "fool" who strays from the system! I have so much freedom! I can do whatever I want, when I want, without having to consult anyone for their permission before doing so! I can hook up with anyone without any strings attached and it's great! Whenever I come home it's so peaceful and quiet! I can relax all night long without a single care in the world :D My life is AWESOME!!! :thumbsup:

I agree that cheating is bad. But like he said in the article, men usually cheat because the alternative would be to ask permission from their partner and/or propose an open relationship--after which, they are denied, considered less trustworthy, and stigmatized for their needs/desires. Or even if he's granted permission, he'll regret asking as soon as he sees his partner going on dates. Men are less open-minded when it comes to open relationships than women are. As far as being misogynistic goes, he mentioned women also cheat, lie about it, and want to cheat w/o their partners doing the same. It's not just men. Also, the emotional intimacy has nothing to do with the cheating. The cheating is about sex. Emotional intimacy and sex are NOT the same thing. Finally, you said you're okay with someone having an open relationship. What about you, personally? Are YOU okay with having an open relationship? Why or why not? That's a good way of looking at it if you're dating someone. But if you're married, you're screwed either way. I agree, however that's not a fault of an open relationship. That's a fault of a person who doesn't know how to properly manage an open relationship (usually the man's fault). ---- I don't think it's the cheating that makes people who read that article uncomfortable. It's the thought of an open relationship. The thought that the Disney fairy tale of living happily ever after with just one person for the rest of your life might not be true. The thought that it might be impossible for your loved ones to resist their biological urges just to keep up appearances for the rest of society. The thought that your partner could be having sex with strangers and still love you. RPG did a good job of summarizing the cognitive dissonance that many people who read the article seem to experience. The article makes a lot of sense, but it's threatening everything people have been taught by society up to this point, and they're afraid to think of what might happen if what the majority of society believes and teaches could actually be WRONG Additional reading: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/darwin-eternity/201109/why-we-think-monogamy-is-normal

I think you're confusing morals w/ instincts. Our instincts usually override our morals because our instincts show us how to prosper as individuals, whereas our morals usually force us to make personal sacrifices in order for society to prosper-- with or without us. Biological wiring (instincts) trumps societal programming (morals). Nobody is completely capable of following their morals and logical mind 100% of the time-- we're emotional beings capable of logic, not the other way around. That's why we often sacrifice long-term well-being for short-term gratification. Or, in this case, sacrificing a long-term "healthy" relationship for a one-night-stand. Monogamy/marriage is based around the ideal that we'll follow our morals within the context of a relationship 100% of the time. Sadly, that puts restrictions on urges which are just too powerful for us to resist for that long.

Well whether you like it or not, consistent, passionate sex is usually the first thing to go after a few years in a long-term monogamous relationship :P

I guess I'll start by asking-- whether or not you like the article, do you think what the article said is true? Justification aside, is the "lack of self-control" necessarily a bad thing? If so, why?

:wall: Ouchy. Your mindset is all wrong when it comes to this shit in general-- it's not the girl that's causing this problem or even how you acted earlier. It's the way you're thinking about it. Even if I gave you the correct "solution" to this particular predicament, it wouldn't really matter because w/o changing your mindset, you're just going to keep getting yourself into these situations in which you care too much about the OUTCOME. Right now you seem fixated on: -Does this girl like me? -What happens if this girl doesn't like me? -How do I keep her liking me, if she does? -etc, etc. ...it's these exact thoughts that are making you feel bad when things go south. Now, imagine if the thought pattern that I outlined above was replaced with: -It doesn't really matter to me whether or not this girl likes me because I really like myself. I don't need a girl to validate myself-- but if a girl enters my life, she'll be a happier and better person for doing so because I inspire others to live awesome lives! -If this girl doesn't like me, that's fine, I was happy before I met her and I can continue to be happy w/o her. -This girl likes me-- awesome! I'm glad we both mutually benefit from our relationship. This probably won't last forever, so I'll just enjoy it while it does... Do you see the difference? Which thought pattern do you think leads to better success with women? Which thought pattern do you think leads to a happier and better life overall? But to answer your question, who gives a shit whether or not she likes you :P Don't get so caught up in things as trivial as this. Go have fun :) EDIT: In case I wasn't clear enough, the point I want you to understand is that the external events will usually be beyond your control. In the two examples of thought patterns I listed above, the external circumstances were the same. The only difference was the way you perceived those circumstances-- and that's what really matters. It's all just a matter of how you view the world around you.

Oi I'll respond to both of your posts after I finish cooking :D brb

:roll: I really wish you would elaborate on your disdain for the article (assuming you read it) with a rational response, rather than simply rolling your eyes and dismissing something because it's challenging your beliefs. How are people supposed to evolve if they dismiss every foreign idea proposed to them?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/vicki-larson/why-men-need-to-cheat_b_1170015.html Awesome article telling it like it is :)

This. This. This. Jad used to be tough. Then Corp used to be tough. Then Nex used to be tough. Now we can all do them with our eyes shut. People who eat, sleep, and breathe PvM on RuneScape will probably have this beat 1-2 hours after the update, even without Nex gear. I'd be willing to bet... Some on their first shot. I agree, but that's mostly due to the fact that players are much more knowledgeable these days than they were in the past; things that were once understood only by a few individuals is now common knowledge. Think about how rare fire capes were when the fight caves were introduced in 2005; there was even a thread on Tipit (don't bump) that had a list of fire cape owners. People just didn't understand NPC/combat mechanics well enough back then to even make it to Jad, much less defeat him. Most people also thought the caves were impossible w/o Guthans when it was actually easier w/ brews for healing. Nobody really understood/considered efficiency back then either. Opportunity cost and time vs. money were foreign ideas until about 2008.

btw any weak girl can knock out a guy twice her size if she just hits him in the jaw. youtube dat shit

Being clingy isn't the same as showing affection though. Affection is good, but too much can be suffocating. Neediness is straight up a women repellent. And it's not society that sees it as a turnoff. It's biology.

Equality is a fantasy that will never become reality. But that doesn't mean we can't still be civil and rational around one another...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man Honestly, linking to wikipedia as your entire response should be its own fallacy... Highlanders used some rather broad generalization. Why don't you call him on that instead of failing to be clever by trying to sandbag the OP? Seriously. So many people on these boards read wiki for a few hours or take a single college rhetoric course and think they're the shit. The fact is that NOT just any level 30-40 pure can get it; it takes plenty of preparation and knowledge. Also, we already know combat levels are hardly indicative of true combat ability; to start with, that's what a pure is. Also, if you breeze through the caves in 45 min flat because you have OVL, Turm, maxed melees, Slayer task you have to consider the added difficulty of getting all those things in the first place. The difficulty is still there, it's simply moved. Fight Caves are only easy if you've done all of the hard work somewhere else. I couldn't tell (nor did I care) who I was specifically replying to, since the OP was quoting someone in the post that I responded to. I wasn't "trying to be clever" or "sandbag" anyone. I was pointing out that the argument is flawed, regardless of whose it is, and that's all that was necessary to consider it irrelevant. You're making it sound like poking holes in an argument is rocket science; I don't know why you're so upset over something as trivial as my post :huh:

I'm constantly at about 10FPS... which severely limits the things I'm able to do in the game

My laptop graphics card can't be upgraded... sucks for me

:huh: Doesn't the completionist cape require you to "do combat?" And the fight caves?

Hopefully the new fire cape has a good prayer bonus, otherwise I'll probably stick with my SW cape. I'm not worried about surviving the waves of monsters in the new minigame... I'm worried about surviving the massive lag I'll probably have to endure from the updated graphics :wall:

That's not gonna happen w/o cutting her out of your life completely for an extended period of time.