muggiwhplar

Well that's pretty obvious. You're American yourself, so it's extremely hard for you to understand and/or admit that things like that happen day to day. Americans really hate when anything negative is said about their country. Why do you think, till this day, so many people think America won in Vietnam, and that the war there was at all justified? What? Dude everyone in America HATES America despite living a comfortable lifestyle. Everyone here whines about inequality and stuff like that all the time. Conservatives think liberals are lazy, liberals think conservatives are sociopaths. I've never met a single person who doesn't get pissed off whenever they start talking about politics here.

It doesn't matter. I guarantee a person like that isn't a happy person deep down. People who treat others poorly cannot get away with behavior like that consistently while maintaining a happy life with healthy relationships.

I think that's true to a certain extent, but IME the best way to get good at something specific is to do that specific thing. In lifting, if I want to increase my 1 rep max bench, the best way to do that is to do 1 rep max bench as much as possible, rather than doing 5 sets of 5 with a lighter weight. I've been on dates before with women who turned out to be fat and so I was pretty much apathetic during the whole date and genuinely didn't care to see her again... and these women would be like "so you're going to text me right? :)" at the end of the date. But then later that week I'd have a date with much more attractive girl and I'd be a bit more needy than I was with the other one, and consequently the attractive girl wouldn't be as into me as the fat one. So in other words, I think if you want to get good with hot girls, the best way to do that is to date hot girls. And if scheduling dates with hot girls is something you can do easily, then it doesn't really make any sense to bother with the unattractive ones. But if you're not yet to the point where you can schedule lots of dates with only hot girls, then yeah I don't really see the harm in "practicing" on the ugly ones :P I wonder how often I miss out on this by not ever wearing my glasses outside of class or my car Well it was more of a polite smile than a sexual smile :P With that said, however, it's very common for guys to be turned on by a hot woman physically, but talk themselves out of making any moves on her due to her personality (or for something else that's completely unrelated to her looks). Guys do this because for whatever reason having a friend w/ benefits or a one night stand isn't an option for them. This is exactly what I was trying to say. I'm just saying that if you are looking for a girl that you'd want to spend a large portion of your time/life with that you'd want them to be more than attractive. In your case, you are just trying to [bleep] 'em, and maybe or maybe not hang out with the cool ones every once in a while. On the other hand, it sounds like Nom is looking for girls that he'd do more than just bang with, which requires more than a nice pair of [bleep]. Honest question for you Muggi... Have you ever turned down a girl that you thought was hot but just didn't like her personality, the way she acted, or other things not related to her physical appearance? (Not talking like the crazy ones) Well keep in mind that for me, sex is mandatory for ALL types of women that I'm going to be hanging out with unless they're off-limits (e.g. they're my coworker or they're dating a friend of mine). I don't really believe in attractive platonic friends. So therefore when I meet a girl, the possible outcomes are: 1. We don't hook up for whatever reason (usually my fault for having bad game lol), and then I cut off all contact with her so I don't get sexually frustrated from being in the friend zone 2. We hook up but she has a rotten personality, and so she's just a casual FB. Pretty similar relationship to the ones I have with all of my guy friends, except we have sex. 3. We hook up and we really get along well, so we become intimate via open relationship The only time I've turned down girls who were hot but had rotten personalities were back when I was sexually inexperienced and didn't know how to manage a casual relationship. I thought having sex would lead to hurt feelings and drama... which is true, but only if you don't know what you're doing. Or there were times where I had a girl at my place, but I didn't escalate because I was afraid of moving too fast and scaring her off... and then ironically I never heard back from her because I didn't strike while the iron was hot. Like I said, I think a lot of these problems stem from people making mountains out of molehills when it comes to having sex.

In other news... Did my first ever cold approach at the gym this evening lol. There was a cute girl on the leg press machine next to me while I was doing squats. We briefly looked at each other and she smiled. Later on she came up to me and asked if she could have my 10 lb plate. I was like, "well I'm going to feel like a [bleep] if I go home without at least asking her out" so I finished my workout and walked over to her... but she was already headed out the door so I awkwardly had to follow her and catch up to her in the parking lot like a creep :lol: Me: Hey I just wanted to ask you if you want to grab drinks sometime this weekend. Her: Oh, um, I'm actually going to be in [another city] this weekend. Me: It's cool. Here just put your number in my phone and I'll shoot you a text this weekend. Her: Umm, sorry but I don't really know you well enough. Do you come here a lot? Me: Yeah I'm here all the time. Her: Ok cool well we'll probably see each other around a lot then! What's your name? Me: [my name]. What's your name? Her: [her name] Me: Cool, see you around. Have a good evening. Her: Thanks! Drove home happy for at least giving it a shot, since regret stings lol

I think that's just a matter of lowering one's standards of physical attractiveness; as opposed to actually getting turned on by something other than physical attractiveness. If you can think of a specific girl with sub-par looks but an awesome personality, are you fantasizing about having her as a FB/ONS or are you fantasizing about intimacy with her? My guess is the latter.

That's just how men work as far as sexual attraction goes. Personalities don't give men boners; physical appearance does. We're extremely visual creatures. With that said, however, it's very common for guys to be turned on by a hot woman physically, but talk themselves out of making any moves on her due to her personality (or for something else that's completely unrelated to her looks). Guys do this because for whatever reason having a friend w/ benefits or a one night stand isn't an option for them. Or the opposite will happen and they meet a hot woman with an awesome personality and they won't try and make a move on them because for some reason they think that having sex ASAP will somehow lead to unhappiness down the road, as opposed to waiting for sex. My argument is guys like that don't have different biology or desires than me, but they simply have different beliefs regarding sex and its appropriateness. And having such beliefs is fine as long as those beliefs are genuinely making them happy. But with that said, I've never seen any of my friends end up happier as a result of having such beliefs :P They're usually getting friend zoned or going through extremely long dry spells that they have no control over... which is fine if they have a low sex drive and low desire for intimacy. But most of my friends aren't like that haha

Right, but why waste your time going on dates with women whom you aren't attracted to to begin with? Isn't that just a massive waste of time?

How is having fewer options and going without sex making you happier in the long run >_>

You're severely overestimating how unhappy you'll be if she blows you off and/or this ultimately goes nowhere. If that happens you'll probably be less focused on "Waaaah why did she lead me on like that" and more focused on "I'm glad I took a risk and have bigger balls than the average guy does"

Why are you worrying about whether or not she likes you at this point?

Does it really matter whether or not her interest is genuine?

Yeah the tipit formatting's messing up the link. I just googled: "nothing has been the same" "walk away" "came my way"

Just saw this thread. Small world. I think he's definitely correct in that men also have a strong need for seeing naked women in addition to just getting release.

If you have access to the video try Soundhounding it

https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q="nothing+has+been+the+same"+"walk+away"+"came+my+way"

Got Muse's new album Drones. It's ok. I haven't really been in love with any of their new stuff.

It's ideal for me to be horny as often as possible when I'm dating. Not to make sure we're sexually compatible, but just to make sure I'm on my A-game and prevent problems down the road :P The hornier I am, the more attractive every woman becomes. So there would be times in the past where I'd message a ton of women online just because I'm horny, but then I'd release between scheduling the date and meeting up with them, and then suddenly I'd be like "Shit. Now I have to meet up with this girl whom I'm apathetic about meeting" lol. Some of the guys here have probably experienced this before, but one of the shittiest feelings is having sex with a girl, and then immediately afterwards it's like a switch being flipped in your head and you're just like "Shit. I can't believe I just had sex with her. What was I thinking?!" Or there would be times when I'd have a girl over because I enjoy her company but I wasn't horny, and so I'd end up sending her home w/o banging her, which would then lead to her not wanting to have sex later on when I actually was horny, which led to her being confused and giving me drama (which is my 100% my fault). So these days I don't allow myself to invite girls over unless I'm horny because if I don't bang her it leads to problems down the road.

I tried nofap for about half a month during an online dating blitz once. Generally, my sex drive is correlated with confidence and neediness. In other words, the longer I go without release, the more confident I become; at the cost of becoming more needy and irritable. Ideally I'll have release every 2-3 days or so. If I go any longer, I start getting pissed off over things that normally wouldn't bother me and I can just feel my blood pressure rising lol. I remember driving to the gym and someone cut me off in traffic-- normally I just laugh it off and forget about it within the next 5 minutes. But during this time I was pissed off for the next 2 hours. I was like, "What the [bleep] is wrong with me? Why am I so angry all of a sudden?!" Similarly, whenever a girl reschedules a date on me or suddenly stops responding, I just shrug and move on to the next one. But during this time I really had to suppress the urge to blow up her phone with angry texts. I pretty much transform into the textbook "territorial needy alpha male" when I'm not releasing lol In other words it's unhealthy for me to go too long without release. Conversely, if I'm releasing every single day, then my sex drive is pretty much non-existent and I'm apathetic about dating/sex. This is how I operate when I'm not trying to fill my roster or when I'm busy focusing on a different part of my life and don't want to be distracted by dating. I think everyone could benefit from going without porn. But going without release in general seems very dangerous to one's health; it takes "sexually frustrated" to a whole new level. I searched reddit once to see if anyone else gets angrier and feels overall less happy as a result of nofap. People were basically like "Oh yeah getting angry all the time is totally healthy! You're no longer burying those feelings inside you and you're now forced to deal with them properly!" Lol give me a [bleep]ing break. Am I supposed to get road rage and shoot everyone that cuts me off in traffic whenever I get angry or something? :lol: I think the reason nofap is popular is because some people are genuinely addicted to jacking off/porn and they don't have any other habits to practice their self-discipline skills on. So what ends up happening is instead of practicing a healthy activity in moderation, they cut it out completely and experience the cognitive dissonance from being proud of their self-discipline but still suffering as a result of going without any release.

There's parts of Kansas City that you want to avoid due to the crime. But about 20 minutes away from Kansas City are the suburbs where you can leave everything unlocked without any risk

That's the golden question. People forget that once you're married to someone and you see them every day, you're no longer seeing them because you want to. You're seeing them because you have to. Those two aren't mutually exclusive obviously, but the point still stands

But Bowling for Columbine said no one in Canada locks their doors D:

Why willingly put yourself through torture? And increase one's risk of prostate cancer D:

I think we're done discussing this for now :P

Like I said originally, if you're truly going to apply success principles to your dating life, then you're not going to be getting monogamous in the first place because it contradicts many success principles. That's why I'm having such a difficult time trying to understand your desire for monogamy.

If the success rate was 99% I'd be all for it. But we both know it's nowhere remotely close to that. Like I said, a lot of your advice basically requires taking a massive risk. It's one thing to apply your advice to a relationship; it's another to apply it to a marriage, where there are very real consequences if you turn out to be wrong. Good