Solemn

Well I work for my father in law, so that kinda prevents me from moving. IF he even thinks were moving he'll throw one of his drunken fits again. Boy, do I have an interesting life.

What if my mother is being deceitful and this all falls in on me?

The four chats are Pk Warband, Warband Pk, wwbanding, and Warbanding. Shared worlds = don't have to be in a chat BUT YOU MUST HAVE THE DESIGNATED TEAMCAPE. Other warbands are designated to one of the chats, and sometimes a free-for-all.

It's alright, she kept her agility bot running.

Almost there!

Bad

I figured i needed to refill my pity pool. We ( Me, mother, Wife, and daughter) drove 3 hours away to spend the weekend with him and his family. Lovely people, they were so delighted to meet me and everything was great. WE all got along so well, telling stories about our childhoods. I especially liked my aunts and Uncles. There was so much to do in so little time ( the two day weekend). I'll refer to him as "pops", we went everywhere together and never ran out of things to say. Sunday night came along and we knew we would have to say good byes. Pops gave me probably the longest hug I've ever had in my entire life, we said a few words and we were gone. They all want me to move down there to get to know everyone and I want to so badly but I've learned that leaving to go somewhere without walking onto another job is a bad idea altogether. This consistently eats at me on a daily basis, and at times I cease to function properly because of it. A big problem or perhaps a small uncertainty is that there have be no DNA test, it bothers me so. He has told me he doesn't need one, which is fine, but it still irks me. Really and truly its stemming from my mother be a narcissist and trying to protect her image with a lie, or quite possibly she has seen the burden I've carried for so long and tries to ease it with such a lie. I'm not so foolhardy as to accept this mentally, yet its exactly what i always wanted. Would it be insane to accept this as MY reality without question?

Best wishes!

Keep it up Meghan!

Nick <3 #2013nexsurvivorbros #jasondied

It was hot and humid today, despite that, my boss decided to make my life an authentic hell to match the heat. I've had ice cold water (which will make you dog sick if its hot) poured on me by a bleep of a co-worker, cussed & hollered at by my boss. Oh, did I forget to mention he hit me with his truck?

Today I had the epiphany I've had everyday for the last few weeks. Why am I still here? My daughter, I tell myself. Giving up her childhood to claim mine just isn't fair.

Shane was under the impression that he was my biological father. I paid a visit to my grandmother ( Shane's mother)and she told me it didn't matter, she took care of me and that was all their was to it.

Patricia is 5, Garrett is 4, and Brooklyn is 16 months and my daughter, Alice is about to be 3 in June.

Well Gingy, Only a few select people know at the current time. I'm pretty much holding onto this factor from that "side" of the family. My world has been turned upside down, and I'm having a hard time distinguishing reality and I continually daydream. I'm in love with this, and I think I might lose it if this goes awry.

I'm not fond of speaking to others ( asides from my Skype clique) , but here we go! This past Friday seemed normal, I worked out of town in the rain, I came home depressed as usual, but then my Mother called. After a few formalities she says " What if Shane ( The man I was told was my biological father) wasn't?". I'm 21 years old, I've grown up knowing "Shane" as my biological father, so I give her a skeptical look and shrug it off. " I know who you biological father is.", I swear I had to of had the biggest look of disbelief on my face. She states his name, and adds " He would really like to meet you." . My mom and I have a rather jagged relationship, I hugged her and told her I had to leave. The very second I close her door behind me and started to walk a fit of rage came over me I hurriedly puffed to my truck. I went home, got dressed, and told my wife I'd be gone for the night. I got wasted with my friend, Dillon that I was going to be crashing with. I drank, I got stoned, and I completely tried to negate everything from that day. I woke up around 5:30 that morning, trying to figure out if any of this were real. I lounged around until 9, heard something in the kitchen. Turned out to be Dillon's dad, Rick. I explained the situation to Rick and he gave his invaluable input as always. I then left feeling a bit more level-headed than I did previously. I went to Mom's later that day, Decided I wanted to pursue this recently hidden family. She set a date for the next day, and I was given his number to talk to him a bit. I was hesitant to say anything, and then I started to discuss my daughter, Alice. As a twist of fate, I had three siblings I've never met. My wife, Mother, and I met him and my three siblings at a gas station for him to follow me to my apartment. I eagerly Jumped out of my truck without thinking ( he parked on the passenger side luckily), I stood there pretended to check my tires while he unbuckled my new found family. After I saw the kids were out of the vehicle I proceeded to walk around to his car, I held out my hand and he shook it, impulsively I said " aw heck, I'm not that kind of person" ( I've always been rather affectionate) and gave him probably the biggest surprise hug he's ever seen. My wife went to pick my daughter and sister up, so we all went inside. It took us a minute, but we slowly came to ask each other question after question. We had our laughs and a few sighs. He told me he wanted to get to know me, to make up for all the lost time, and just the two of us next time. I knew he had a three hour drive ahead of him, so I recommended he start. We started the same greeting ritual as before, but this time it seemed like i wasn't there. We had a small talk as we packed my siblings up, and he told me how impressed he was, how proud he is. It's not everyday this happens, all these years I was vying for this other cold hearted mans smallest sign of affection, and with this I got it in the first day. I'm invited to A family reunion at the end of the month, many people are anxious to meet me, and boy, I'm nervous! Just today alone I got a request on Facebook from an Uncle and two cousins! They told me how much they can't wait to meet me, and how they want to know everything about me. I'm terrified about my Grandmother ( Or who I was raised to believe was my grandmother) will do and say, will she disown me? Will she embrace it? Everything I thought I knew is being turned upside down and it seems like its all spiraling fast than I can wade through it!

Due to Real life issues this blog will be discontinued until further notice.

Clare, did you forget to post that your #1 objective with this blog is to humiliate and disorient Jason?

meh. ( I had nothing better to say)

Posts meaningful achievement, only the regulars come. (For those who see this and don't post, Eat a Bleep.)

Thanks!

Are their any specific programs anyone could recommend me for a beginners recording and editing?

I think I hate you guys

still no 99 fletching?