Fist_of_ozzy

Hehy sephy! I would like to requets a review if possiable. http://forum.tip.it/viewtopic.php?t=556753&highlight=

Nice job Xewleer! I thought i would try to bring back the RPG if anyone is interested. Romus walked outside of his aparatment and saw two U.E.A. officers beating a man to death with two metal pipes. Romus moved closer towards to brawl, but one of the officers stopped him. "Stay back, or you're next." Romus looked at the man on the floor. Giant blood stains seeped through his blue button up shirt. His face was all torn up and was very hard to identify him, because his face was so bloody. "Pwease, Stopsh!" The man begged for forgiveness while blood dripped out of his mouth, making his speach slurred. "Shut up!" the officer kicked him in the stomach and took his wallet. The officer held the wallet up to his face and pulled money out of it. "You see this, do ya? If you would've given this to me earlier, we wouldn't have gone through all of the trouble would we?" The man reached his arm for it but he passed out. Romus reached for the gun he had in his pocket. It was a small pistol but could easily peirce a U.E.A. officer's armour. "That's robery!" Romus delcared to the officer. "You better shut your mouth you litte pr*ck or your next!" he pointed the pipe at him and gave him a dirty look. Romus pulled out his gun and shot the officer in the eye. The officer fell dead instantly. The other officer reached for his gun which was located in his holster. Romus was too fast the him and shot him in the stomach twice. The offcier cried in pain and reached for his radio. "This is unit 5, we have a officer down-" Romus stompted on the radio and put a third bullet in the officer. Romus' hand started to shake as he fell to his knees and dropped the pistol. "What has....happened to me?" Romus had started shaking and asking himself if it was a dream. Could he have really killed two men out of his anger that he had built up for many years? Had he really shot and killed two men to save one's life? Was it really that simple? He glanced over at the two dead corpses and stared at them and picked up his pistol. "Unit 9, this is alpha, do you copy?" The radio was on from the other officer. Romus leaned closer to listen. "I repeat Unit 9, do you copy?" Romus stood still in fear. "This is alpha, we have two units down at 34 west street. Send backup immeaditly!" Romus started to run towards the opposite direction. How was he going to get out of the city? Or even planet earth? Romus ran and ran down his road dodging U.E.A. land vehicles. "Hey you, stop!" An officer shouted. Romus truned around and saw Five officer's chasing after him pointing their guns. Romus turned in a small alleyway and ran into a wall (Because he was looking back when he was running) He quickly got up and looked around for somewhere to escape. Nothing.... "Duck!" a voice from behind him. "NOW!" Romus dropped to the ground as soon as the officers came into the alleyway. Many bullets came from behind romus towards the officers, killing all of them. "You're lucky to be alive my freind!" The voice said. Romus still didn't bother to turn around to see who it was. "I think I know why you might have ran...." "What's it too you?" Repiled romus "Because, you're an Anarchist!"

No, I didn't have any trouble reading it. I think anyone who is at a Third grade reading level could comprehend this. I also never saw you explain the part about the "Please use proper english while writing!" So how are you going to explain that?

I guess i am the first here to say... I didn't like it. The Varrock Library Rules 1. Silence is golden. No spamming is permitted. This forum is for works of fiction, poetry, and any other types of literary works. This does not include your latest trip into the wilderness, thesis about the state of the RuneScape economy, or other discussion type threads. Please... please... please... Write in English that is readable. This includes using proper punctuation, grammar, and spelling! :?

A Breif Synopsis: Present RS time, the village of Sophanem (The very deep south in the desert) Which is located here. Is currently struggling with a massive deadly plague that has been going on for over 1 year. The main village of the desert is Al Kharid, which manages most of the desert towns with its resources, finacial aids, troops, etc. When the plague started to develop, Al Kharid immeaditly decided to send some troops and medical doctors to secure this problem. Each day grew longer trying to find a cure for this plague as bandits raided the cities while it was it its weak point. After months of dealing with losing many troops and doctors, Al Kharid decided to pull out of Sophanem and return home. Many people of sophanem have lost their lives and the city has almost fallen apart due to the massive increase of deaths. Two weeks ago, Lumbridge recieved a letter from Al Kharid stating Sophanem was needed for secruity beacuse of all the bandit raiding. Six days later, Lumbridge answered their call and sent 1,000 good arms into the desert to protect the village. But, they we're not prepared for what was too happen..... Prologue I: The Anonymous soilder I held my crossbow tight as i watched more of my freinds fall to death. The bandits we're everywhere surrounding us from the city walls. One of the men was comming at me screaming at the top of his lungs, it was fixed when i pierced him there with an arrow. Dead men fall to the ground softly on the sand waiting for death to take them away. "We've lost this, Pull Back!" Our general had known we would lose against the bandits, their number was increasing as they day grew, striking the village when it was weak for its gold. We ran long and hard for quite some time when we started to die. Men falling down in every direction made me start to think i was lucky to be alive. Damn the desert is hot! My armour made my body temperature 25 degrees hotter. If you were to touch it, it would burn your skin off. I tripped and fell into the sand, losing my crossbow. The bandits came towards me and our men kept running. One was comming towards me, he didn't stand a chance against my dagger which took his life. I stood up and felt the immense pain of a sword through my body. I already knew this was over. I watched the man pull away the sword from my stomach as i fell on the sand hanging on to him trying to pull him down with me. He let me drop and he quickly ran away. I layed on the ground staring at the sun twitching on the sand. My blood stained my armour and my shirt as i tried not too look at it. I was dying and this was natures way of telling me. I started too close my eyes and wait for the pain to go away, as i bled to death. Damn the desert is hot.....

Alright, get this spam out of here somebody.

Well, I'm sure where exactly I am to start with this but i'll try... Your story was very......(No offense) Bad. You have good writing potential and Definitely a creative mind. On this story though, You had very many grammar mistakes and Everything was mushed together into one giant paragraph. I also noticed in the very begining you didn't started out with quotes and eventually you did notice and started to put dialogue in quotes. The Main Reason why i didn't like the story was because of these two lines. As you can see in the Library here, We Absolutely CANNOT stand it when people write stories with dialogue such as: "I pwned the noob cuz he was ha4xing !!!" Or "Noob567 was g3tting 0wned cuz h3 had 45gp and cuz a stupid mod scamed him!" You get the general idea though. We like creativity and stories with good grammar. Please, take this advice into consideration!

=D> Bravo so far Xewleer! Sorry about the rpg, finals we're hell! Plus track got in the way of many things also.

Dude, no offence but this is a MAJOR problem in the library. I'm sorry to tell you, but this isn't the forums on runescape. Here, you use proper english as best as possible. We don't use the "Level 17" crap or the "OMFG THE N00B ALM0ST KILLED ME AND HE WAS LIKE LVL 29" So basically no leet either. Look at the other stoires and in the library and then look back at yours, major difference in grammar. Again, I don't mean to be a pain or anything but I guarantee you're going to get a similiar response from a different individual.

Good, Good. =D> Excellent Job so far guys! The vision drove in romus' head like a nail. He woke up breathing heavily and looking at his radio-clock. "Gooooooood Morning Planet Earth!" the radio automatically turned on. "God, what a terriable dream!" He put on some pants and looked at the time. 9:14 A.M. Romus smiled and knew he was 2 hours late for work. "Messages on." he said walking to his shower. 6 New messages the machine declared. First message: 7:23 A.M: "Avaris, you better be on your way here, or this will be the third time you've been late this week!" Second message: 7:55 A.M: "I swear to god avaris, if you aren't here within 5 minutes, You're fired!" Third message: 8:01 A.M: "THAT'S IT AVARIS, YOU'RE FIRED AND YOU BETTER NOT SHOW YOUR SORRY AS* AROUND HERE OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL!- Romus threw his shoe at the message machine knocking it off the table, shattering it into pieces. "The big bad government thinks he can tell me what to do..." he sighed under his breath. His cat meowed and jumped on the counter-top where Romus was cooking breakfast. "T.V. On" The plasma (literally laser televison) telvesion turned on. The United Earth news was on. Romus ate his breakfast and looked into the mirror. His long hair that usually hung in his face was pointed straight up in all diferent dirrections. His door knocked and an automated telecom from outside his door said "Open up this is the police." Romus sighed and ran up to the telecom next to the bathroom door "Uhhh.. Just a minute." They knocked on the door again. "Open up!" he reached for the gun under his pillow and ran to the door "Comming!" He opened the door and saw three police officer's standing there dressed in heavy armour suits with large machine guns (like always) "Romus Avaris?" the front officer asked. Romus held the gun behind his back clutching it tightly and responding "Yes?" The officer handed him an envelope that had an URGENT notice written all over it. "You haven't payed you're rent in over a month." the officer repiled. "The government doesn't assign apartment rooms to sh*t face's like you who doesn't pay their rent. With the kind of money you're making you're lucky this is even assigned to you!" Romus started to clutch the gun harder and got in the officer's face "And what excatly is that sopossed to mean?" "That means you got three days to pay off the rent, or you'll be eating garbage off the street" He pulled out his metal beating stick and began to slightly hit his hand with it. "Got it?" "Eye captain!" Romus soluted laughing. The police officer's started to walk away and he turned around saying "Next time i come here, it's not gonna be so funny any more boy!" The walked down the aparment stairs heavily making people aware something was happeneing within the building. "Whatever." romus said slamming the door. He opened the letter and it had it stated: You Have three days before you die He ripped up the envelope "Funny joke.." he said to himself. He sat down in his kitchen watching t.v. and thinking about his dream, the ship fight.

Alright. Begin!

Of course, by the way nice to see you too. Yay!! we have more people alright. Maybe about 2 more and we'll start???

Ello to you also. Thanks for joining. We need a few more than we can start .

Yeh, sounds good. No-one is joining :(

I'm simply giving my opinion/adivce. I'm sorry if that's too much of a problem.

First off, I'm not trying to be a pain or anything have some confidence in your work. Second - It's not much of a fake, those party hats could be real at any-point. What i'm trying to say is, that is something that could possiably happen in the game. Try something such as a cow weilding a sword or something. Fakes usually deal with something that is NOT possiable in the game.

Nice job for first attempt! 1. The jesus one was funny. 7.5/10 2. The bank one didn't look like it matched with the camera angel. 6/10.

Thanks for joining! It's nice to see you too. I hope we can get issy and sephiroth_king and archimage_a to join also. Yeh, the ship thing sounds like a good idea if you could do that, it would be alot of help. Thanks :D I forgot to post my char. sheet but here it is: Name: Romus Avaris Affiltration: Human Rebelbellion (The Lost Human Organization Intelligence) Age: 23 Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Green Race: Human Height: 6'0 Clothing: Black cloak with black robes. A hood that is always on his face to hide is identity. Other Features: Leutinent of the Human rebellion Bio: unknown.

Welcome, welcome to my own little world :D NOTE: CHECK BACK AT THIS, IT WILL BE CONSTANTLY UPDATED! The first thing i'd like to state is, yes this is an RPG for anyone to join and who is interested into futuristic themes. This is completly made up (from myself) and anyone is welcome to join as long as you post the char. sheet and it is approved. Story: In the year 2150, The human race has been surpassed by multiple races in advanced technology. The universe has reached endless limits of planets that have been discovered with advance lifeforms. The corporal government of earth or formly known as the "U.E.A." (United Earth Alliance) has gone completely insane and communisim has taken the whole planet earth by force. All lands on earth are connected and they're no countries anymore, it is all just the land "Pangea" The planet earth is united as one in order to survive, but there is no freedom. There is only one leader with small branches of corrupt government that rule planet earth and there is a small group who resist the wrath of the communisimand to make the earth what it was again. Races/Classes: Serianians - The small hidden rebel resisting force of the planet earth, they come from the planet "Seriana" U.E.A. Officer - The Human Government police, these men are cruel and stop at nothing to find and arrest the rebels. These men so called "Help the earth survive" Viviara - Tall-Giant like aliens who come from "Vivia" who have a Neatural personality. They like to stay out of the way of conflicts, but do what they must to survive The Lost Human Organization Intelligence - The major rebellion organization which is at war with the government every-day. Almost all of the members are Human, and will stop at nothing to let the government take contol of the universe. Planets: There are many galaxy's and planets in the universe. Here are the basic one's in the RPG (You may travel to them): Earth Mars (Free land) Moon (Construction/Research planet) Vivia (Neatural) Serinia(Rebellion) Ships: I'm actually hoping you guys would fill this out, be creative! :-k Character Sheet: Last but not least, you must fill this out to play the RPG. Once we have more than enough people, I will begin the first turn and you guys can do the rest. Name: Affiltration: Human Rebels/ U.E.A./ Viviara/ Alien Rebellion Age: Hair Color: Eye Color: Race: Human/Serianians/Viviara/Mutant (From mars or the moon) Height: Clothing: Other Features: Bio: Enjoy!

The RPG is dead since every-one has been doing poetry nowadays.....

"Who are you?" Haggard asked. The man was large and had a grey cloak on, and a hood that surrounded his face. "I am death." "Oh, you're death? What kind of joke is this?! There is no man named death, it's a child fantasy!" "No, For I am no man." Haggard nervously laughed "Oh really, you're the grim reaper?" "No." "Then what are you?" "That is not the point, and that is not why you are here. I showed this too you for a reason." Haggard grabbed the man and started to punch him "YOU BASTARD! YOU TOOK THE ONLY PERSON AWAY I LOVE!" The man got up and calmy said "Folllow me." "Is this some kind of joke, Listen buddy i'm getting the hell out of here without your help, k?" The destroyed surrounding turned into the streets of varrok. "This is present day haggard." He saw helenia. "How do I get out of here?"

The Assassination-Part I Noarmi Lit up the cigarette Between his lips and blew it in Jeff's face. "Noarmi, are you sure you know what you're doing? I mean this guy is dangerous, he has connections man. He's even got people in china to back his *ss up! And you're doing this for what? Ten-thousand? It's not worth it." "You Know what jeff, the thing you have to learn about killing somone is that; you never get caught. It's mostly about the cash though you know what I mean eh?" Jeff looked around and threw his arms down. "For christ sake, you're gonna get killed, and not to mention the fact that- "Jeff, how many times are you gonna get it through your head man? You never turn down jobs like these, especially for ten-thousand. That's the thing about hitmen that you just will never understand." Noarmi finished his cigarette and blew the last of the smoke in jeff's face. Jeff coughed "Why do you do that?" "It's not important, see ya!" "Wait, Noarmi!" Noarmi hopped over the brick wall and the top of the fence which lead up to the mansion. The yard was huge with a long walk-way with fountains on both sides of the yard. A guard that looked like a CIA agent was standing still in the front door facing forwards with a blank expression. Noarmi pulled out his silver handgun name "Lucy" after his Ex-Girlfreind he had recently put a personal hit on her himself. I'll get into that later. "Do I take the shot which could end it all....or do I take him out silently?" Noarmi pulled out his knife that had the word "Jeff" on it. We'll, let's just say jeff and noarmi got into a fight long ago. Noarmi inched closer to the right of the guard and was ready to throw the knife. "Steady now." He aimed it carefully at the guards throat. "Easy." he started to sweat and he realsed the knife which struck the guards throat. He choked to his death and the knife was retrieved. Noarmi slowly reached for the doorknob and layed his hand on it. "F*ck it." Noarmi kicked open the door breaking it off it's hinges and shot the first man he saw in the room. Noarmi held fire and realized who he just killed, a chef. The blood of his wound stained his white outfit while his meal that was ready to serve layed beside him. "Hey you, stop!" Noarmi swung his gun in the direction of the body guard who was reaching for his gun below his waist. Noarmi didn't hesitate and immeaditly shot the guard twice. He ran down the hall-way with many doors on each side of it. He started to run up the stairs when he saw two guards blocking his way at the top. Noarmi just stared at the guards as they did the same to him. He slowly reached for the katana on his back as the guards slowly reached for their guns. The sound of the blade made a clinging sound as noarmi swung it forward faster than the guards could reach for their guns. He chopped both of their hands off and finished them off. There it was, the bosses' door. The office door that would lead noarmi too Ten Grand. Noarmi (with his sword still in one hand) slowly creaked open the door was standing in the doorway watching the boss talk on the phone. The boss was turned the other way of his desk (opposite of the door) yelling "Listen, I know i have a few hits on me but-" He paused. The man on the phone was yelling at him. Noarmi approaching the desk still herd the boss yell something. He raised his katana with both hands ready to strike from behind him when suddenly the door slammed open. Noarmi and the boss turned around. "What the hell?" A large thug like looking man was standing in the doorway staring at the boss. "Who the hell are you people and who the hell did you get in my house?" The large man pulled out a shotgun and pointed it towards the boss. "You're a dead man!" he yelled. "He's mine, back off before I make you." said noarmi. The large man give him a dirty look "Listen buddy. Get the hell outta my way before I kills the both of ya's, He's mine." Noarmi pointed the sword towards the large hitman "You will try." He charged at the hitman with his sword and ducked soon as the shotgun fired. It hit the boss, slamming his face on the Emergency 911 on his telephone. Noarmi swung the katana at the man but he blocked it with the end of his gun. The large hitman wacked noarmi with the ened of his gun sending noarmi flying backwards breaking the stain glass window. He fell out of the second story onto the grass lying there unconscouis with his sword landing right next to him. The large hitman took the boss on his shoulders and ran out of the house. Noarmi woke up a few minutes later hearing sirens from the police comming his direction. He quickly grabbed his katana and hopped over the fence where jeff was standing. "We gotta go jeff." "But what about the boss? Noarmi answer me!" "I'll talk about it later, let's go!" They ran around the street corner as the police cars pulled up in the drive way. Noarmi got lucky.................

Haggard was lifted up from the ground. "Am I dead?" He was in a field where a girl was picking flowers. She was wearing a dress and humming a song. I looked to my left and saw a familiar village. 'This is my hometown....' I said to myself. Elves wandered in the streets and kids were playing outside. The woman turned around, and it was......Helenia? "Helenia, Wait!" She started to walk towards me smiling. I smiled also, I had finally found my peace. She came to me closer and dissapered. The ground started to become mud, and the grass, the trees, and the plant all died and turned into mud. I Could hear people from the village screaming. The village was on fire, and people were running from the invanding army. "NO!" I cried out. This is what happened, this was the war. My childhood.....ruined. This war had happened when I was a young boy, maybe about Five years of age. I watched my people die and heard a voice behind me call out my name.

Sorry, I really don't have time to do the RPG anymore so I would like to kill of my charectar and let someone else join if possiable. There he was, lying on the ground dead cold like snow. People gathered 'round from there doings' and stood over him. "Poor boy, what happened?" There Haggard laid, dead as a dornail with hs arms spread out and his feet together, almost like he was on a cross. "Terriable..this is terriable." "C'mon laurine, we need to go." Guards pushed through the crowds and saw him dead. "Oh, what a shame. what a shame." The crows still hovered over him looking at his once green eyes, forzen shut by death. "Alright, everbody out nothing more to see here, help me with this would ya?" Two guards came and took each side of his body carrying him away. "I wonder what happaned.." "We'll figure out soon. We're going to have to look out more around this area. This boy was murdered. Look, you can even see the wound on his back." The guards looked closley at haggard's back. "Are those....chain marks?" They examined his back more closely and a note fell out of his pocket. "Oi', what's this?" One of the guards opened it and read aloud: Dear Helenia, If you are reading this note, I am probably gone or dead. I had a feeling something like this would happen. Fighting always leads people to death and well life's too short to be angry all of the time. When you read this, take care of the bar for me. The guards looked at eachother "This Helenia girl, might have known what happened." They ran towards the castle "We have to find her quick!" And that's the tragic tale of what might happen if you're always looking for a fight. But sometimes, (or at least for haggard) fighting for other people's rights....was the right thing to do.

Sorry I haven't replied in a long time, I was gone for the weekend and school is really hard this week and I haven't had any time to do anything lately. Haggard looked outside of the bar and saw someone being robbed. As usual, he hated robbers and felt they needed to be dealt with, by the penalty of death. "Gimme the coins lady!" he shouted when he was grabbing her. "Help me! Someone please!" I ran out the door as quickly as I could and grabbed my dagger. "Lady, your only makin this harder for yourself!" She squirmed out of his arms. "Hey you," The man turned around and said "Me?" "Yeah you- I recongnized who it was, it was the man who tried to rob the bar a few days ago. We both looked at eachother in amazement but we quickly figured eachother out. "Ahaha!" He shouted. "I remember you, you and that girl of yours' ahaha!" "Except for, I'm going to kill you this time." I said. "You and what army?" he said. "Same for yourself." He laughed real hard and noises came from the alleyway behind him. Three very large men appeared standing right behind with with chains and daggers. He put his hands in the air "This army......" I was in trouble and I knew it, the men were on his side and I was outnumbered. "Get em' boyz!" They yelled and ran right towards me, swining their chains. One swung their chain right at me hand and I caught it. Then, he swung his dagger at me, but blocked it with the dagger in my hand. I kicked him in the chest, knocking him backwards and I stabbed him in his right shoulder. WHACK! I chain hit me right in the back, and I fell to my knees. 'Damnit! That hurt like hell..... Get up you fool, get up!' I got up and felt the chain hit my back again, and he swung the thrid time but I ducked and he missed. Before he knew it, I plunged my dagger into his stomach and he fell over dead. 'Only one more..' I said to myself. I felt the strangest pain in my back, and knew what it was. The last one had got me right in the back, but not with a chain. I fell backwards and my vision went blurred. I could make out the mans face, but it was still blurry. "Well, Well, Well. This is what you get for trying to be the hero." He held up his dagger for me to see and my blood was dripping off of it. "Did you actually think you stood a chance? I'll tell you something before you die. Hero's always finish last!" My eyes closed and I couldn't tell if I was dead or not but I layed infront of my bar hoping Helenia would come.