Fist_of_ozzy

A loud noise from the kitchen had woken me up. I immeaditly opened my eyes and saw daylight from the windows. I had fallen asleep, on a chair? "Well now I see your up, noon it almost is." Helenia said. My head pounded and I couldn't get up from the chair. I fell off of the chair and I pushed myself off of the ground, I was having a hangover. "I got...Drunk?" I said slowly. Helenia nodded. "You we're on the floor passed out, before I picked you up and put you back on the chair." I rubbed my head and l looked around. "Uncle's gone I guess." Helenia nodded. "Where too now?" I asked. "Just look outside." replied Helenia. I put on my cloak and took my bow and dagger. "What do you need those for?!" Helenia exclaimed. "You never know when you'll run into trouble." We walked out the inn door and amazed I looked around. A festival was occuring, and everyone was here. The streets were so crouded, it was hard to walk anywhere. It was so loud. Noises from all different directions shattered the silence in my ears. I put my hands on my ears and tried to block out all of the sound, it was screaming loud. 'How could I not wake up to this?' I thought to myself. I fell to my knees with my hands over my ears. "MAKE IT STOP!"

Eventually, don't worry.

Thanks issy. I saw Helenia slash the mans shirt open and all of the other men just run away. She told about me how the spice wine would give you energy. I knew I could've handeled it myself, but oh well. I put on my cloak and but the bow around my shoulder and sheathed my dagger in the slot that was on my foot. "Don't you think we should get going?" I said Helenia looked at me puzzled. "Al-Kharid is pretty dangerous, but its a little more safer at night." Helenia didn't look like she was ready to travel. "Tomorro," she said. I nodded and asked my uncle for another beer. "Get it yourself you slacker!" he threw down his handtowel and went in the back-room. The backroom was his bedroom, which I guessed he was going to bed after all of the fear he expereinced. I took a glass from behind the counter and pulled the lever which despensed the beer into the glass and drank it very fast. Helenia was heading up the stairs. "Helenian," I exclaimed She looked over too me. "If your going to bed, use room 3 there's no one in there." She nodded and climbed the rest of the stairs. I got myself another beer, and looked around. The bar was totally empty and I sat down in a chair and thought about my uncle called me. 'Slacker' I hated that word, and he knew it. My parents used to say that before they we're..... I shook my head and had another beer. "Carefull now," I said to myself "I don't want to get drunk." I closed my eyes and leaned against the chair and saw flashbacks of when I was young. Things quickly went through my head, especially the war. Before I knew it, I fell asleep.

=D> Well done issy, and No I don't mind if anyone uses my character in any situation :) . Oh and Issy, I hope you don't mind either. Well, here I go (I guess.) After watching the incident that had happebed to Helenia, I was a little shaken up. She layed on the couch holding her knee. I looked away to the bartender, and asked for a beer. He nodded and said "That'll be ol?" "Yes please." I replied He handed me the beer and I began to drink it slowly. I leaned back in my chair and watched her drink the whine. "So you really never did answer my question." I replied She looked at me briskly. I smiled a bit and told her "So, where could a young lady like you be headed this time of night, it's pretty dangerous in the streets." It took Helenia quiet awile to say even where she was headed too. "Al-Kharid eh?" She nodded slowly and took another sip of wine. "You seem really familiar..." I said. I started to look at her more closely when all of the sudden I heard behind me "Alright bartender, gimme' alls of yours beers befores I make a mess o' things!" It was a large man about 6'2 holding a dagger up the bartender's neck. He had two men behind him yelling and chanting "Lets get em' boss." All of these men were drunk, and didn't realize what kind of trouble they were going to get themselves in. Not from the bartender, not from the guards, but from me. I despise theifs. There's nothing else on this green grass I don't like other than theives. I started to take off my cloak, and put down my long bow that was around my shoulder and held tight onto my dagger. "Excuse me sir," I said. The drunken man dropped the bartender and yelled "You talkin to me boi'?" "Yes sir, and I would like to tell you, you're making a big mistake right now." The drunken man started to walk towards me. "Boys, Let's get 'em!"

He's got a point, if you mean "Pink" by the pop queen then I perfer Queen. But if it's Pink Floyd i would rather choose them.

name: Haggard age: 23 male or female: Male weapon: Longbow race: Elf other info: Blonde hair, dark green cloak, tight black pants, and a black shirt. Height: About 5'6. Eyes: Green.

Oh, I just posted something not too long ago and I tried to indent and there was something wrong also.

BEFORE YOU READ THIS STORY: If you are offended by rascism, volience, or anything like this DO NOT READ THIS STORY! There is alot of use of the "N" word becaue this is about an event that happened in 1991 in oregon, When the Ku Klux Klan made an attack in a small negro community. A special forces team was assembeled to defend the city from the mass killings of innocent people. However, this event is true but all of the names and actions in this story are made up. Me, I am not rascist myself, i hate the KKK and I thought this was an interesting topic to write about. Part I: The helicopter ride was boring, nothing but talk that's all. We arrived at the town about 6 o' clock in the morning and the lights we're still on. Our camp was a small building that smelled awful. The cieling leaked assorted fluids and the floor was warped and bent. It didn't bother me much, but it bothered everyone else. There we're two apartments and our squad shared them. In two hours we were going out to patrol and stop the KKK by any means. I could hear them chanting something outside the window. Our squad looked at eachother and we jumped to our feet. They we're burning a house with torches. Two hours would be too late, we had to go now.

Nice story! I enjoyed it. But there are some mistakes in your story. You need to indent paragraphs, it was pretty difficult to read because everything was mashed together. I also had some questions: 1. Is this your piece of work? Because at the bottom of your story is quotes 2. What do you mean not for sale on ebay? :-k Other than those, nice job!

Well now we're getting a little off topic.

Listen, I know your're probably mad right now for all of us that are telling you to write better. Excatly what issy said, This is a forum where were all going to give opnions. And we're giving our opinions, but in the process, we're trying to help you write better, so in the future people won't argue or reason with you like we are. Alot of people who are trying to help you have been here for a long time and they know what they are doing, but may not be perfect. Trust me, If you follow our advice people will start to like your stories instead of people hating it.

Chapter 6: FINAL CHAPTER It was the captain of our squad. He was siting in a chair in the corner of the hospitial room and he was dressed nice. The first thing that came to my mind which I blurted out immeaditly "Did we win?" The captain's face went blank. A few moments of silence went by until it was broken by his voice. "You see son," he stated "It's not a matter of winning the battle, It's a matter of holding the postition in the battle-field that makes you move more and more to your enemy's territory." He moved over to the window and started to stare out of it and then looked at me. "The question you should be asking me soilder is 'How am I alive?'" I didn't fully understand how I was alive either, but my mind drifted off like a child and I payed attention to anything he said. "Well," he said "You got lucky son." He moved over to the table next to my bed wich had breakfast on a plate. "Are you going to eat that?" he asked me. "Yes." I replied. The captain shrugged his soilders and took the plate and decided to eat it anyways. To tell you the truth, I was too tired to care. "In all of my experience as a captain, I have never seen anyone go through anything like that and live." he took another bite out of the food, and chewed it slowly. "Infact, I've never seen anyone that brave enough to even fight when they are wounded like that." He finished the food and put the plate back on the table and looked at me and stared at me. "We lost, but we didn't lose the village." My face turned blank and I stared away from the captain. "I know what your thinking soilder," he said "But we fought for thirty years, and a hell of a thirty years we've been able to defend our people." I tried to get up from my bed, but I couldn't get up. "Easy Soilder! Your not ready to go back out yet." I put my head back on my pillow and layed there staring at the wooden cieling. The captain stood infront of the end of my bed staring at me saying "Yet, neither am I ready to go back out yet." he walked over to the window again and said "I'm an old man." "I've fought in this war ever since it started and I'm retiring." He turned around and looked at me. "And that's why I'm making you a captain. My eyes lit up like a child was looking at candy in a candy store. "When you get better," he put his hand on my bed "then you'll lead your own army." he stared at me closely and said "Put you promise me one thing and don't you ever break this promise!" Out of fear and excitement I exclaimed "What?" The captain smiled and whispered "That we never lose against those b*stards, and send them back from wince they came!" Without a sound he opened the door and walked out. Two weeks Later: I fully recovered from my injuries and I stood infront of Vansel's grave. I placed flowers on the grave-stone and said "Thanks for saving me twice, i'll never forget you." I walked over to battle-field that was completely empty. I stood there and waited. I started to hear many foot-steps behind me and didn't bother to turn around. I looked over to my left and saw men lining up ready for battle. I looked over to my right and saw the same thing. "Captain," A voice said. "Yes?" I replied. "We wait on your orders." I thought about it for awile. I said to myself: As long as I stand on this earth, as long as there is a single-breath in my body, I will not stop fighting until we have victory. I looked at my army assembeled behind me and they all stared at me. I opened my mouth and said "Charge."

9/10 Try Honesty- Billy talent (Youtube it if you don't know it)

Yes, I agree with you. This is more of a script than anything else. And it's not necessarily a story, it's more just characters talking as a plot-line. I'm sorry to say, but this could use Alot of editting. One last thing, when your writing a story don't put the actions of the characters into stars. It makes the story seem like your telling it to someone who's not interested in it.

Chapter 5: The night was bitter cold. Our squad had moved out of the abondon basement and grouped up with more squads. Almost the whole entire army gathered into a large trench quietly as the khazard grouped up in the distance trying to climb down the hill. "We're going to ambush them," the gnome next to me whispered "get ready." The khazard slowly came down the hill looking around and ready to attack. "Steady....steady..." the captain said. The khazard we're maybe about 5 yards away from us when finally a gnome from the trench jumped out and yelled "Kill those b*stards!" Every-one yelled and immeadity jumped out of the trench and attacked. As soon as we got out of the trench, khazard men came out of every place you could hide behind and started to attack us. All this time we thought we we're ambushing them, but they we're ambushing us. Those men must have been the bait, damn them! We we're out numbered by alot. We we're running up-hill while the khazard forces we're comming down. They we're throwing spears at us, but they we're impossiable to see in the dark. I could hear dozens of men getting hit by them and making their final cry of pain before their death. As I was running up the hill, someone grabbed me by the back of my uniform and yelled " Retreat! We've lost this battle, there's nothing left!" I turned around and saw vansel with a bow in one hand and an arrow in the other. "No, I'm not leaving this battle!" I yelled to him. "LOOK-OUT!" he yelled and shot his arrow behind me. A dead khazard men fell on me. I pushed him off of me and followed vansel down the hill. I could hear spears whizzing past my head and cansel stopped for a moment. I looked back at him and said "C'mon, we have to get out of here!" he stood still just staring at me. I grabbed him by the arm and said "There's no time for this! We have to leave!" I stared at vansel and he still stood there and I started to shake him and yell his name, but as soon as I did that he fell to the ground. "Vansel!" I yelled at him. I looked at him on the ground and realized something sticking out of his chest. I touched it and it was a spear head. "Vansel..." I started to say softly "vansel.....are you there...." A tear started to roll down my cheek. "Wake up...." I said. I started the shake his body and yell"Wake up! Wake up! Why won't you wake up?!" Two soilders behind me put their hands on my shoulder and said "Leave him, we have to go." I just stood there staring at vansel's body and started to wipe the tears from my face. "Hurry up." They yelled. I turned around and followed the two soilders who we're running down the hill. It was maybe a few seconds later that an extreme pain struck the back of my left leg. At first I ignored it but in an instant the pain brought me to the ground. I started to yell as loud as I could. The two soilders turned around and ran towards me. "He's hit." One of them yelled. They started to drag me on my front sid of my body. Not knowing what just happened to me, I started to yell out of the intense pain that kept growing in my leg. It wasnt far until the checkpoint we we're retreating to, until one of the men fell on the ground dead. He was hit also. Finally, we made it to the checkpoint and the soilder who had been carrying me and told another soilder "You're a medic right?" the other soilder replied quickly "Yes." "This man is hit in the left leg with a spear, take him." the medic looked at me and said "Ok, your going to feel alot of pain. But I need you to be with me; you understand?" I started to nod my head. "Ok, here I go." the medic said wiping his forehead. He started to pull the spear out. I yelled even louder than before. "Stay with me soilder!" He pulled it out even more and everything went blurry. "C'MON, YOU CAN DO THIS. STAY WITH ME!" My vision went black and the I could hear my flesh ripping out of my leg. I regained consciense and looked at the medic who was wrapping up my leg with cloth. "There that wasn't so bad was it?" I was too much in pain to even think or talk. He wrapped my leg up and helped me up from the ground and helped me back towards the camp. "Medic, we need your help quick. There's a bunch of men who need you!" yelled a soilder. I recongnized who the man was. It was our general from our prevouis squad. He looked at me and said "Get ready boy, we need more men up that hill." The medic got furouis "He's not going anywhere! This soilder is badly wounded!" The general got angry "It doesn't matter, we need all the men possiable to go up that hill and I SAY HE'S GOING." I got up from the so called "Bed" on the ground and picked up my sword. I could barely stand up and the general started to laugh and say "Haha! Thats me' boy." The medic looked at me and said "You can't be serouis! You just got hit with a spear that could've killed you and you want to go back out and fight?!" I nodded my head. The general put his hand on my shoulder and looked me straight in the eyes "I wish more soilders we're like you, then we would be winning this war." I didn't say anything and the general said "Alright enough talk. Let's get moving!" I followed the general up the hill. All I could do was limp. Hell, I could even barely do that! As we were heading up the hill, a khazard jumped us from the bushes. I recongnized that man. The black club, the helmet with a broken horn on the side of it, and the warchant. This was the man who took my wife! Out of any anger I had, i dropped my weapon and tackled him. We rolled down the hill and the pain in my leg had trippled to what it was. We finally stopped rolling when we rolled into a trench that threw us off balance. I pulled out the dagger from my belt and he pulled one from his boot. "Hehe' cmon boy! Show me what got little man." I threw the dagger and it hit him in the arm. He didn't say anything, he just smiled and ripped it out of his arm. "you think that hurt?" at this point I knew i was done for. He charged at me with both daggers in his hands. I ran at him and he swung a dagger that stabbed me in the hand. He took the other one and stabbed me in the shoulder. He ripped them out and finally said "die gnome!!!!!!" he stuck me one last time in the chest and ripped it out quickly. I held out my arm and said "I'm sorry anna..." and I fell to the ground, dead. Only I wasn't dead. My eyes opened and wasn't in focus. I was lying in a actual bed in a house with the light shining threw the window on to my face. "This is a dream." "I'm dead." "No, your in a hospitial in the village. Your back home." said the voice. I turned around to see who was there talking to me. I smiled and I was happy to see him.

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. And yes I agree with you Issy, But I wrote this story last year and my grammar/punctuation has changed since then.

It was an Ok movie.

Wow, I forgot about this story it's been a long time, but i'm reviving it. Chapter 4: Soilders. They fight for kings and rulers who they have never met before wasting their time and their life. That was my point of view. I used to think that when I was a teenager growing up. The sun was just setting, and it grew cold. Our squad was camping out under a demolished building. You could hear men run over the debris, and one even was killed on it. The space we had was just tall enough for our height, and the width was maybe about 15 feet long. When the night settled, I couldn't sleep. It wasn't because I killed a few men, or the fact that I was fighting in a war that had been going on for over 30 years. I just couldn't stop thinking about her, my wife anna. I remember her picking berries outside of the maze on a sunny day. I remember me finding her entering the maze telling her "You Know your not soposed to be out here, it's dangerous!" she smiled, and in that instant a group of khazard with lots of weapons taking her. I tried to save her, but one of them hit me in the face with a club. The last thing I remembered was her screaming for my name when she was being carried off. At that moment I was being drug by two hands by a guard of the maze. "C'mon we have to go, it's not safe." he said. I reached out my hand and yelled "ANNA!" but at that moment I passed out from the pain. I woke up the next morning in my neighbor's house and as soon as I woke up, I ran outside as fast as I can and out of the maze. I fell to my knees in an Instant and started to cry. Anna was dangling from a tree with a rope around her neck, Dead. I screamed as loud as I could and I started to cry even harder until some maze guards forced me away from the tree. Everytime I would resist and try to run back to the tree, they would grab me again and forcefully bring me back to the maze. They walked me all the way into the village and locked the gates. I still was shattered into pieces. I layed there that night on the ground next to the old tree me and anna used to play at when we were kids. I stayed up until the sun set and I told myself "I will get revenge!" I got up from the ground of our floor and I started to move the bricks out of the way to get out. "Hey, we're not leaving yet!" one of the soilder's called out. I ignored it and made my way out and grabbed my bow and sword. "Hey, GET BACK HERE!" they yelled. I don't need orders, I don't need anybody's help but my own. A khazard soilder was hiding behind a broken wall waiting for me, and he missed with his mace. I stabbed him in the leg with my dagger and he fell to the ground. I pulled an arrow out of my quiver and pointed it towards the man. The man started to shake and say "Please, I have a wife!" I smiled and said "Yeah, So did I..." and I realesed the arrow which ended his life.

Chapter 3: It was morning. I slept maybe for about 3 hours and felt ready to fight. We ran for about 2 miles until we finally reached the battle-field. Many men were waiting in trenches for us. The men looked exhaused and something touched my shoulder. "The names' Vansel." the voice behind me said. I turned around and saw the gnome about my size with a sword in his hand, and a bow hung around his left shoulder. "Oh," I said. "So you're the one who's going to be leading us?" He laughed and put his hand on my shoulder "No, I'm the one who's going to take your body when you die." Vansel laughed again. I thought the joke was cruel. I ignored him and walked in the trench where the other gnomes were stationed. Some yelled real loud " Ready Men!" I looked around eagerly and didn't know what was going on. "CHARGE!" Everyone instantly climbed out of the trench towards the Khazard buildings. How could I have missed this? Hansel! That b*stard distracted me! I ran (no idea where I was going) and follwed the man who was next to me in the trench. As soon as I shouted HEY! to him, he fell over in the trench. I looked back at him, and a spear was sticking in his chest. They must have thrown it. Gnomes were dying everywhere. Everytime I would even get close to anyonne they would be dead in an instant. We were almost to the building, and the khazard troops were ready for us. They put down their spears, and picked up their axes, maces, war hammers, and whatever they could grab. The khazard showed no mercy. They charged most of the gnomes up in the front row and they stood no chance. One troop was headed right for me. I was so nervous, I couldn't move. The soilder was yelling as loud as he could, swinging his mace around ready to kill me. "SHOOT HIM!" A voice said. I reached for my bow, I was too slow getting it out. As soon as I knew it, the troop was about a yard or two away from me. Before he got even closer, he fell to the ground in an instant. I was pushed over by something or someone. "That's the first and last time I save your life, NOW GET UP!" I didn't even turn around to see who it was because I already reconised the voice. It was hansel. He pulled me up and we ran towards the buildings. I saw a khazard trying to climb out of a trench a few feet deep. I leaped from the grass onto the man knocking us both to the bottom of the trench. As soon as I got up, I stabbed him as hard as i could in the chest with my sword. I looked at the man, and I began to cry. I dropped my sword and began to slide down against the wall. "What.......WHAT HAVE I DONE!" I yelled as loud as I could. A gnome next to me in the trench just looked at me and shook his head. "Eh, don't worry about it lad. It was your first kill I bet, but it's ok. If you wouldn't have killed him he would have killed you." The gnome walked away almost in an instant. I stopped mourning and i picked up my sword. I looked at the blood dripping off of it and began to like the idea of killing. I smiled real big and climbed out of the trench. As soon as I got out of the trench, another khazard troop charged towards me, except this time he was closer. I smiled and I decided that killing couldn't be any more fun.

Thanks for the rating :D Chapter 2 The battle had been going on forever, or at least 5 months. But the battle-field still took place outside of the maze. The Khazard buildings, we're set up just north of our village. Almost all of our troops we're sent there. I was included in the next divsion squad to go. You probably don't know what I mean, but to put it in simple words, I'm backup when the others die. Our divsion was to camp outside of the maze for the night, until tomorro when we attack. I layed down and watched the stars, but was interuppted by the screams of men. I heard some cry out "WHY GOD WHY!" and other just make a shrivel of pain. I couldn't sleep, knowing that I would be facing that battle in a few hours. I grabbed my sword and held on to it tight. I watched the stars and thought about her, and as soon as I knew it; I fell asleep.

I totally agree with Minoture, those are probably the best story's on these forums. I've read about almost all of those, but they are still great stories. Necromagus, Zonorhc, sirith_knight, and KC_Hughes are all excellent writers.

Hangover's suck real bad. Excellent story btw!

Basically the name describes it, only the time peroid takes place a few years before present rs time. (P.S.- The first chapter is kind of confusing) Chapter 1 They sent us all flowers. Roses, voilets, everything. Even plants I have never heard of, we're displaced in my hands. Who could of done this? Who could have possiably taken her away? She was gone from my life, forever. My mother used to sing to me about death. She told me life and death we're like flowers, you can never predict when they grow. Or when they die. It was different this time, undescribeable pain and suffering rushed through my mind, like never before. Revenge is what I aim for, netherless will i fear. I will kill, i will hate, i will make them suffer. I will make for damn sure! I will not stop, i will not hesitate. I want to make them feel what i do! Maybe I am going what the people call me, crazy. They say i have gone insane. No. I cannot, my mind has not lost control yet. Bloodthirsty for revenge, but still not insane. The troops we're leaving in one day, As I we're to follow. I placed the flowers on the grave of my loved one, and sang my song of sorrow. "I promise....I will get revenge!"

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I know this story sounds extremly stupid, but it actually has nothing to do with gardening. (You'll get it later on) Chapter 1: Alscaar was a simple man. He was 43 years of age. He never rushed anything, never had tried to rip someone off, or had comitted anything illegal. He was just a simple gardener. He didn't have very much money, and he didn't care for money, his task was to garden for people. He mainly gardened for the king, in falador park. He didn't get payed very much but still did it. Alscaar was singing on a beautiful sunny day, while plating a flower. He reached for his shovel, but noticed a tall skinny man was carrying it and he spoke "Your alscaar right?" Alscaar spoke softley "Yes, I am." The tall skiny man dropped the shovel and said "I have some terriable news," Alscaar suddenly stopped planting the flower and turned around slowly. "I know why you've come here," he said in a sad voice. "You've come to tell me my brother is dead." The man said nothing. But then he finally spoke "Yes I do come here to tell you that." Alscaar sighed and keep putting the flower into the ground. "He was murdered last night," said the man. "He was murdered in a gang fight, and all of his gang members we're killed too." Alscaar stoped planting the flower and turned around and said "I remember when he joined that gang, he was only 23 years old looking for a easy paying job, there was lots of other ways but I told him....." Alscaar paused "I told him, If I ever see him again; I would kill him myself." Alscaar went to go sit on the bench gathering his things. "So tell me," he said. "What gang was he in anyways?" The man spoke and shuffled through some papers he had in his hand "He was part of the Black Arm gang in varrok." Alscaar sighed and said "Ever since he joined that gang, he didn't even say good-bye to me. He was dead to me the day he left, and he is dead to me the day he died." The man sat on the bench next to him and said "It's all over in the Papers, here take a look." The man handed alscaar new-papers and read: July 23rd Recently In Varrok, a giant gang battle occured last night. It killed over 40 gang members, and 12 innocents. All of the bodies have been identified and still, no evidence was found of the hideouts. Alscaar continued to read when the man spoke "They still haven't found the gang hideouts. Guards are all over the place, they've been searching ever since last night. Hell, they even have the damn army looking for the hideouts!" Alscaar put down the papers and said "How could they be able to escape something like that, where was the attack?" The man spoke "The attack was in an alleyway, there was at least 100 people there fighting eachother. I guess they heard the guards come when the battle was almost over, and both gangs ran off." Alscaar got up from the bench and said "Thank-you." and started walking towards varrok. When he got to varrok there we're guards on full aleart searching everywhere. Even one of the enteries was closed becuase there was guards blocking it. "Halt!" yelled a guard. "You cannot come past this point, this is military only beyond this point!" Alscaar said "But my brother was killed in this battle, I have to get through!" "That's too bad sir," said the guard "But i cannont allow any civilians beyond this point." Soon as the guard was done talking, alscaar ran and tackled the guard and ran towards the crime scene. "STOP HIM!" the guard yelled. Fifteen guards suddenly turned their heads towrds alscaar who was running to the scene. He saw his brothers dead body being dragged off by the guards. "wait!" yelled alscaar. As soon as he yelled that, something hard struck the back of his head. He fell to the ground in pain. He felt more pain, then he realized guards we're beating him with the handle of their swords. Alscaar was hit at least 7 times, the guards dragged him by the arms and through him out ont the street. "You come back again, and we will kill you." yelled a guard. Alscaar was in so much pain, he passed out as soon as he saw a man with two guards standing right next to him walk towards him.