Snake and noob(SEASON 2 BEGINS!!!)

[Harakiri]

thank god. i have time to tell you another tale of Noob and Snake. This one will hopefully be worth that like one week wait.

 

 

 

RANGING AND MAGIC

 

TRY NUMBER 1

 

Snake took Noob to a location far away from known civilization,the wilderness. Noob was carrying a very heavy piece of wood with a piece of paper stuck to it. The paper was colored by Noob to look like a bullseye.

 

 

 

Snake stopped in the level 36 wild and let Noob set the wood into the muddy ground. The wood stuck in and Snake handed Noob a bow and some bronze arrows. Noob put the arrows in the ground and kept one in his hand. He prepared to shoot when a PKer showed up and killed him.

 

 

 

(Snake killed this guy and the guy kept calling him a noob with no life. Snake eventually told Archimage to test him and see how stupid he was. Of course, he didn't pass and was blown to bits a nd erased from the games memory.)

 

 

 

 

 

TRY 2

 

Noob took the bow and arrows and shot. He missed. Suddenly, evil Bob appeared and took him to his island. Noob thought it was his own personal island paradise. Then he found out he could not catch the fish in the water because they were cooked and he had to grab them from the water. Then, he found out he was a cats minion and thought that was cool. Then he found out Snake did not like him by Bob and drowned himself in the water.

 

 

 

More tries later on but right now, it is time for a fighting tournament! Here is who's fighting who:

 

 

 

 

 

pkerforlife VS. A.J

 

 

 

Snake VS. arrowbld

 

 

 

 

 

dragonbait VS. Ash

 

 

 

Angelus VS. guthan guys

 

 

 

Grumpy Mod VS. Mutant Autoer

 

 

 

Cronic Lier VS. Forth god

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bluejayfan(Noob police guy) VS. Archimage Aquans

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Generic Innkeeper VS. Spider Cow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Archimages Bother VS. The cult of orange vegies ETC.

 

 

 

 

 

The Master VS. Xarosen

 

 

 

 

 

Zhunger VS. Plunger

 

 

 

_____________________________________________________________

 

Another God VS. Generic Super Villain VS. The generic generic

 

 

 

A special 3 way fight

 

_____________________________________________________________

 

Da Mage02 VS. yapyap

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And of course...the three way main event:

 

 

 

NOOB VS. ARCHOMAGE VS. POWERENT

 

 

 

Prepare for action tomorrow.

[archimage_a]

NOOB VS. ARCHOMAGE VS. POWERENT

 

Spelling

 

 

 

Did write a longer one but got deleated by the refresh button...

 

___________

 

 

 

 

 

Hello I am Archimage A and Welcome to Not the Ten O'clock News.

 

Our Top Story Tonight:

 

Unmasking the Master, who is this fiend in a mask?

 

 

 

For this we have The Master actually in the studio with us, Master are you ok?

 

Yes its just...You have such a strong voice...

 

Err right well you are here to talk about your...your...your...see...see...secret identity...arn't you? Can you please stop that.

 

Why do you not enjoy it?

 

No I don't...

 

Well I am sure we can change that.

 

I err hate to inform you but I err...have run out of time and err need to powder my...hair.

 

Your not getting away that easy.

 

That is hurting!!!

 

Good now do it to me.

 

I really don't want to.

 

Do what I say, and there will be slightly less pain, unless you like that.

 

I err...Please I really need to go...

 

Look I know I play hard to get but you have been giving off signs all night...

 

I...

 

 

 

We regret to inform you that the rest of the show has been censored. Good night.

[Harakiri]

i want more normal bios of people for street fights. This is gonna rock and hopefully you'll like the neverending violence

[Bluejayfan94]

Bluejayfan(Noob police guy) VS. Archimage Aquans

 

 

 

Hey, Archimage. Who's gonna win?

 

 

 

[hide=Winner of the fight is announsed here]Me of course, hehe :mrgreen: \ :thumbsup: : [/hide]

 

:XD:

[archimage_a]

Hello I am Archimage A and Welcome to Not the Ten O'clock News.

 

Our Top Story Tonight:

 

Archimage's dream comes true

 

 

 

You, me and 10 minutes of no way out....it will be a long hard struggle and many will die before the night is out...but I think its safe to say that I will win first.

 

 

 

On a serouis note Archimage has been upgraded with a bite attack specially for Blue.

 

 

 

Disclaimer: I cannot be held accountable for your reactions to any of my posts. All referances mean nothing, if you are offened get out more and don't blame me, I am having fun and the people that matter know its a joke...are you are person that matters?

[Harakiri]

i need people to give me there characters soul and enter it in the biggest castle wars story of all time. Give me your characters bio and i will enter him for a chance to win the pride that some guy who randomly picked a winner out of hat let your character win!

 

 

 

IT is time for the 6:02 news i am ratchet

 

and i am Snake

 

And i am noob...defender of all that is right

 

and i am archimage...

 

And i am ratchet and i wanna test you Archimage

 

Bring it

 

What makes me happy?

 

The violence of these stories

 

And...

 

Making the good guys die in stories...

 

And...

 

giving away the plot of the next story?

 

Do you know who will die next story?

 

noob,

 

yay...your good thats all for tonight folks...join us tomorrow when noob talks about what heaven is like.

[Harakiri]

woot...we got to page 5!

[archimage_a]

Usually not an achievement but on this board...

 

 

 

Anyway you just want random people's bios? Well I would recommend stealing the ones off A Tale From the Library...I technically have permission to use their character...All the names in it are their RS Names so....just check them....And suprise suprise you have 10 or something Bios...

 

 

 

Anyway when are these fights coming out?

[Harakiri]

Chapter 1:pkerforlife VS. AJ (The first battle)

 

 

 

The streets of Varrock were crowded as people rushed to get to the castles courtyard. People from all over Runescape were in awe of the new event. It was commissioned by the heroes guild to see who the best fighter in Runescape is. People crowded into the castle to get seats at the top of the it. Two guards were up there to prevent violence over getting a seat.

 

 

 

The top of the walls that guarded the castle were open only to important people. Many guards were up there as well as the king and select members of the heroes guild. In the castles dining room, the chef was putting out a wonderful feast for the participants of the fight, who were sitting in wooden seats around the marble table. Two people were cussing each other out and guards were trying to break up what would have been imminent fight.

 

 

 

All the participants raised their beer mugs and banged them together. Shouts of "May the best man win" were the only words Snake could hear for a while. Eventually they stopped as people crammed food into their mouths. Snake ate slowly, eying every one of the people at the table. Some stared back at him. Others smiled. Some even flipped him the bird.

 

 

 

After the meal the participants went into the entryway and had conversations with each other. Soon enough, Snake was pleased to hear the trumpets of the guards, signaling the king was about to speak. Two guards outside opened the door and the participants lined up on the stairs and watched as the king took a knife and cut a banner that was tied to the wall.

 

 

 

It revealed the first round matches. Civilians who surrounded the ring wrote the fights down on scrap pieces of paper they had in their pockets. The participants on the stairs scanned for there name and then the people who were going to fight would give each other an ice cold stare. They would then stand at attention as the king waved his hand for silence.

 

 

 

"Some may think that the 3 way matches are not fair. But these were selected for reasons only I will ever know. Maybe i will tell you. Anyway there is no way to convince me to change matches. If any participants decide to have a street fight and are caught, they will be kicked out of the tournament. These are illegal and could result in hard labor or prison time. I will now let you see the first match. Pkerforlife, step up."

 

 

 

A guy wearing only monks robes walked to the ring and entered. He then turned, waiting to hear who his opponet would be.

 

 

 

"AJ please step into the ring." With a granite shield and a dragon battle ax, it looked like the battle was already won.

 

 

 

"These rules apply in the arena. No prayer. No food. If you get out of the ring you automatically lose. It is a fight to the death. You can spare the life of the person you are fighting. It is solely up to you. The one last rule is, no help from anyone in the ring. If you die and one of your friends decide to street fight the killer, it must be approved by me. It will then be set up at an appropriate time and place. Now then, I won't keep you any longer. FIGHT!"

 

 

 

The king yelled this at the top of his lungs and AJ ran at Pker. Pker ducked down and tripped AJ. Aj fell and Pker kicked his face. Aj's nose had a trickle of blood run out of it. AJ swung at Pker's legs and Pker jumped, avoiding the blow. Then, AJ took out a rune knife and hurled it at Pker. It hit him square in the stomach. Pker clutched his stomach and dropped to his knees. AJ got up and walked over to Pker. Pker pulled the knife out of his stomach and jammed it into AJ's knee joint. AJ screamed. It was a terrible high pitched scream that rang through Varrock. PKer ran at AJ and AJ put out his hand, palm open, facing Pker. Pker ran into it and Aj clutched Pker's neck firmly. He tightened and tightened his grip until a snap could be heard. AJ won.

 

 

 

A medical team grabbed Pker's body and took it to behind the west bank. There, they buried it. No coffin. Just the body. They then saw a man with a gravestone walk to them. The man placed the gravestone into the ground and walked off. How the hell did he know and make a gravestone so fast? wondered a medic.

 

 

 

Meanwhile at the castle the medics were lifting AJ onto a stretcher and brought him into the castle. The crowds screamed. They loved that battle. A guard tried to scrub the blood out of the ring but could not. He gave up. The King wondered why it did not scrub away. Oh well. He stood again and yelled, "It seems that we have to get to bed. It is late and we do not want the shades to get us, do we? Anyway that was but a taste of the fights that will be happening tomorrow. 10 o' clock sharp. Goodnight."

 

 

 

People walked off to their inns and homes while the king, his knights, and the fighters were herded back to the castle.

 

 

 

"It is time for a small challenge. I will give you these sometimes. I want to see you sleep outside. No tents and no other necessary supplies. I will open the doors of the castle to you at 7 in the morning tomorrow. We will see if the shades get you. So goodnight."

 

 

 

They were walked out of the castle and into the courtyard. They were then brought to the fountain where they were told this area would be there beds. Snake took out his lava staff and used a small fire spell to warm up the area he was sleeping in. He then lay down and watched as two figures appeared peering around the corner of the general store. The one was staring directly at him. Snake pulled out his sword and prepared to get up but was frozen by a cold sensation...

 

 

 

To be continued

 

 

 

My best writing I would say. This will be a more serious take on the Snake and Noob saga. I hope you enjoyed. I enjoyed figuring out that i can write really well. More chapters will be posted. Well, actually a lot considering It is a fighting tournament with a lot of people entered. Till next chapter

[archimage_a]

Yes it was really good, and alot more serouis. Possibly because Noob wasn't there to annoy the hell out of all the characters and the other characters weren't just acting stupidly so it would seem that Snake was...as someone once said:

 

A normal man in a world of chaos.

 

 

 

But yeah it wasn't better than the originals because they can't really be compared, one is about people having a laugh and the other is about people being serouis...it wasn't a let down, so yeah you can write a serouisly and you can write funnierly.

[Harakiri]

But yeah it wasn't better than the originals because they can't really be compared, one is about people having a laugh and the other is about people being serouis...it wasn't a let down, so yeah you can write a serouisly and you can write funnierly.

 

 

 

 

 

Funnierly? Well, i thought it was better to be serious. I think this will turn out to rock.

[Harakiri]

chapter 2:The first night of the tournament

 

 

 

Snake looked around him. The cold sensation grew and grew until it totally engulfed him. The shades walked toward him. No one noticed them except Snake. The shade raised an old, withered looking hand and Snake stood up. The shade stopped in front of Snake and grabbed his chin. Snake could not shake his hand away. He was paralyzed. Then, he saw another shade walk up to the one holding Snake and poke Snakes shade. The shade dropped Snake as he followed the other shades pointed hand to Noob. Noob was stealing a whip from someone. The guy noticed. He stood up and grabbed Noob, then noticed the shades. Noob handed him his whip and the guy threw Noob into a wall.

 

 

 

Snake saw the guy run at the shade and snap the whip right on its head. It let out a piercing scream that woke up everyone around. The fighters took out their weapons and piled on to fight the shades. Once the two shades were nothing but a pile of dust, a hellhound appeared and jumped onto Noob. Snake ran and grabbed the hound upper and lower jaw. He then pushed with all his might and split the dogs head in half. Blood leaked all over Noob.

 

 

 

More cries as a small army of shades ran down the street, heading towards them. There must have been ten but as Snake looked into the dark alley's, he saw more appear out of nowhere. Snake looked around and saw everyone wide eyed as more and more appeared. Suddenly, a guy using Ancient Magiks attacked the shades with ice barrage. Some fell while others took out there knives and through them at him. All of them penetrated his skin and he died. More and more shades were appearing. Snake had an idea.

 

 

 

He took out his lava battlestaff and prepared a spell. All of a sudden, from out of nowhere, a shade came up behind him and snapped his staff in half. Snake looked the shade straight in the eye and said "That was my favorite staff." He then kicked the Shade in the face and caught a sword that some guy threw to him. Snake plunged it through the shades head and the shade turned to ashes.

 

 

 

Snake looked at the sword. A bronze short sword? He sure must be powerful to kill that shade with this piece of junk.

 

 

 

Noob was hiding behind a guy with full black dragon hide on. He was wielding a dark bow and killing a bunch of shades. Snake was getting tired. He had not slept in days and needed some rest for his fight tomorrow.

 

 

 

Snake walked to the general store. He kicked the lock door open and peered inside. He saw what he was looking for and grabbed it. He then ran outside and grabbed some ink out of his bag. (Snake writes stuff to what little friends he has.) He pored it around the fighters and lit it with the tinderbox he stole from the store.

 

 

 

It burned high and the shades shrieked as they turned to a mist and wisped away into the night sky.

 

 

 

"How did you know?" asked a curious man wearing full steel.

 

 

 

"Experience." replied Snake.

 

 

 

The fire continued to burn in a controlled state, (thanks to a helpful persons magic) and the warriors got to sleep.

 

 

 

The next morning they were awoken early by a crowd of people who wanted autographs. The warriors told them later and dragged there sleepy selves to the castle. Inside, the table was set with a magnificent looking breakfast. The warriors ate like they had not eaten in weeks except for Snake who ate very slowly.

 

 

 

Only one man dared to stare at Snake and that man was Archimage, one of Snakes only friends. He stared and then smiled. Snake was to sleepy to be happy and just nodded his head in recognition. The king, in this elaborate clothes, then walked in and greeted the warriors.

 

 

 

"Today will be a great day for some and a bad day for others. For all you know, it may be the day some of you die. Today will be an exciting day. I hope you are prepared for the fights will be happening well past sundown. We will light bonfires around the castle to ward off the shades. My guard saw you last night. A valiant effort and good teamwork. I will give you better sleeping acommadations tonight. Well then, see you at the fight!"

 

 

 

Snake got up and followed the king on his side. "Sir the shades were in numbers last night. Some suspected you are dealing with them. One of the fighters died because of your challenge. Shouldn't we wait till later, once the preliminaries are over, before we do these challenges?"

 

 

 

"That was just a fun little game. I was not involved in any way. I swear on Saradomin!"

 

 

 

"Well then who could have done it? They never travel in large packs like that!"

 

 

 

"That is true. Usually around four in a pack. The shades must have sensed some of there own die and brought themselves."

 

 

 

"I think its a plot."

 

 

 

"By who?"

 

 

 

"After the fight last time rumors were spreading of a mysterious figure bringing a gravestone with Pker's name and birth on it. It was carved in the shape of Saradomin's holy crest."

 

 

 

"That is something I have pondered about. It is quite wierd don't you think?"

 

 

 

"I think that guy was a necromancer!"

 

 

 

"That is very dumb deduction. Necromancer's have not been around since the third age!"

 

 

 

"But legend speaks..."

 

 

 

"Legends? That is all I want to hear Mr.?"

 

 

 

"Snake."

 

 

 

"Snake carry on."

 

 

 

Snake walked away from the king. He then went to the library. Reldo was researching some type of historical tome.

 

 

 

"Reldo?" Asked Snake.

 

 

 

"Snake old friend! How's it going?"

 

 

 

"Pretty well. Anything you can tell me about report of necromancers in the fourth age and now?"

 

 

 

"There have been reports, but the people who tell them seem to die suddenly. Reports have been scarce these days."

 

 

 

"I think Varrock has a necromancer in it."

 

 

 

"How do you think that?"

 

 

 

Snake explained everything that happened that night.

 

 

 

"Hmm, well i will get to you later. Right now i would be prepping for your fight with Arrowbld."

 

 

 

"He will be easy."

 

 

 

"Pker seemed like a loser but he still spilled some of Aj's blood."

 

 

 

"One more question."

 

 

 

"Yes?"

 

 

 

"Can necromancers predict death?"

 

 

 

"Really powerful ones who are close associates with death can."

 

 

 

Snake walked out. All the evidence pointed toward a necromancer involved. Snake had heard tales of necromancers raising shades and Snake always thought that as true. Snake walked to Varrocks west bank and looked behind it. Gravestones everywhere. He saw arrowbld's. He must win then. He looked around and saw his own gravestone, marked on it the words:

 

"Killed by the last of his kind."

 

 

 

To be Continued...

 

 

 

Comments? Tell me which one you like better the fighting tournament saga or the comedy saga. Also who is your favorite character? More later.

 

Until next time people...

[archimage_a]

Well ummm...Archimage would have to be the best...but The Master is pretty good as well...As is Xarosen....The Generic Innkeeper was also really good.

 

 

 

Ummmm I like the Fighting Tournament more because its more serouis and thus is not so random...and because theres not alot of it, so hooked alittle.

[Bluejayfan94]

Hello I am Archimage A and Welcome to Not the Ten O'clock News.

 

Our Top Story Tonight:

 

Archimage's dream comes true

 

 

 

You, me and 10 minutes of no way out....it will be a long hard struggle and many will die before the night is out...but I think its safe to say that I will win first.

 

 

 

On a serouis note Archimage has been upgraded with a bite attack specially for Blue.

 

 

 

Disclaimer: I cannot be held accountable for your reactions to any of my posts. All referances mean nothing, if you are offened get out more and don't blame me, I am having fun and the people that matter know its a joke...are you are person that matters?

 

 

 

Awww man, Bite Attack?

 

 

 

Im going to go hide now. BYE!!

[Harakiri]

chapter 3: preliminaries day 1: enemy in hiding

 

 

 

Snake was in the foyer of the castle. The doors to the castle were open and sunlight spilled onto the tiles. Snake was looking at the crowds of people who were trying to get a good seat. Some came into the castle to find a seat on top of the castle. There were small children coming to see this brutal and violent game. Some parents should not be parents, thought Snake.

 

 

 

Archimage walked out of the dining room and patted Snake on the back.

 

 

 

"Good luck on your match."

 

 

 

"Like I need it." replied Snake.

 

 

 

Archimage sat on a chair that was in front of a window.

 

 

 

"I heard that you and the king had a fight after breakfast."

 

 

 

"Rumors go around fast don't they?"

 

 

 

"Yeah. Anyway, you think a necromancers involved?"

 

 

 

"Yes. I know a necromancers involved. Go behind the west bank and look at the gravestones. Every fighters names are on one. The guy can predict deaths. Reldo said that means he must be close to the grim reaper if he can predict death."

 

 

 

"I guess so. Anyway i better get my fighting stuff out and prepare for my fight tonight."

 

 

 

"See you later."

 

 

 

Snake watched as Archimage walked upstairs to the fighters training rooms.

 

 

 

 

 

A man in complete black robes with a hood that engulfed his face in shadows walked up to Snakes gravestone. He spread his fingers over it and more writing began to appear beneath the original writing. The man then pulled his hand away in mid-sentence and noticed a man walk up to him.

 

 

 

"Who might you be?" the man asked.

 

 

 

"None of your buisssnessss." replied the hooded guy.

 

 

 

"You are touching my gravestone."

 

 

 

The man stumbled over the gravestone and fell.

 

 

 

"Sssnake pleassss dont kill me."

 

 

 

"Who the hell are you?"

 

 

 

The man removed his hood and showed an old, wrinkled face.

 

 

 

"Carter? I thought you died." exclaimed Snake.

 

 

 

"No, I faked my death."

 

 

 

"What are you doing here?"

 

 

 

"Your father has asssked me to follow you and make sssure your sssafe."

 

 

 

"From what?" asked Snake.

 

 

 

"You will find out sssoon enough." Carter than teleported away.

 

 

 

 

 

Snake returned to the castle once again and saw he was just in time to line up on the stairs. Those graves have been creating some nervousness. He of course was not scared but just wondered why someone had marked him for death. The king stood up and just as he did a cry could be heard.

 

 

 

"My king look what we found!"

 

 

 

A man wearing the clothes of a high priest walked up the walls stairs and showed the king a carcass of what looked like the hellhound Snake killed the other night.

 

 

 

The king looked disgusted. He scrunched his nose up and ordered the man to give the body to the Varrock museum for study. Then he stood up more dignified than before and pointed out the next match.

 

 

 

"Snake please enter the arena."

 

 

 

Snake walked in with no armor on and with only a dragon dagger in his hand.

 

 

 

"Arrowbld please enter the arena."

 

 

 

A guy wearing monks robes and a lederhosen hat with a rune scimitar and kite shield in hand entered.

 

 

 

"Let the battle commence!" yelled the king.

 

 

 

Arrow stared as Snake walked up to him slowly. Arrow being walking too and then tried to slice down at Snake's chest. Snake took his dagger and blocked the blow. He then used his full strength to push up and the Rune scimitar was hurled into the air. It landed at the left end of the arena. Arrow used his shield to block Snakes attacks as he ran to his scimitar. When he was close to it Snake jumped over Arrow and kicked the weapon out of the arena. A lucky child grabbed it and ran off.

 

 

 

"You know I am just toying with you?" Snake said with a smirk.

 

 

 

Arrow ran at Snake and pushed the shield into Snakes face. Snake grabbed Arrows hand at the last second and twisted so hard that he cracked a bone. Arrow screamed as Snake grabbed him and threw him to the arena's floor. Snake then stepped on his head so hard it exploded. Blood and brains flew all over the arena and all over the people watching.

 

 

 

Snake grabbed the body and threw it onto the stretcher that two medics brought out. They then went to the graveyard. Snake walked out of the arena and shook hands with some people. The king then stood.

 

 

 

"Not even a scratch Snake?"

 

 

 

Snake shook his head and some people screamed in awe. Snake then sat on the stairs to the castle and listened as the king brought out the next matches contestants.

 

 

 

 

 

At the graveyard the medics saw the gravestones and looked terrified as they saw there own gravestones. They dug a grave for Arrow quickly and scooped the dirt over his body. Suddenly something grabbed the one of the medics legs and pulled him down. The medic screamed as he saw his assailant. It was a giant mass of flesh with one eye missing and blood seeping out of his missing eyes socket. It bent down and began to feed on the helpless medics brains. The other medic ended up dying of shock. There bodies were buried by the zombie and they were never seen again.

 

 

 

Dragonbait was wearing full rune and ash was wearing nothing but his mithril scimitar. Dragonbait was slicing Ash up. Ash was beat to a pulp and dragonbait let him live. That match was apparently bad because everyone was shouting "Boo" and "Kill him wimp". The king then stood and signaled for silence as he asked where his medics went.

 

 

 

Nobody knew. The king thought for a moment about the necromancer but decided to dismiss this thought and instead had the guards bring Ash into the castle for treatment for his deep wounds. The king then announced the next match. This match was quite unfair looking...

 

 

 

To be continued

[archimage_a]

Lol interesting and seeming alot more darker than serouis.

 

Snake then stepped on his head so hard it exploded

 

In the other story would get a laugh, in this one it shows the darkest side of Snake...Still wondering where noob is though...

 

But more importantly how anyone can stand up to 1000 guthan guys? Thats what I want to know. So with another episode its Not the Ten O'clock News!!!

 

_____________

 

 

 

Hello I am Archimage A and Welcome to Not the Ten O'clock News.

 

 

 

[hide][/hide]

 

 

 

Our Top Story Tonight:

 

One thousand on one? Is it possible to win? To discuss this I have leading a professor in the field of....*cough*Paper hats*cough* N.E.Jit Thank you Archimage

 

And to debate against him we have another professor *Cough*of fluffy things*cough*. Please welcome Professor Scott McNutter

 

Ahh Ahhh yes and a welcome to you as well.

 

Yes quite. So....Professor Jit, I was wondering about your take on this wholely unfair fight?

 

Well yes I can see what you mean and let me say this. A fish in a barrel is worth twice as much as a sheet off A4 colourfasted orange paper...

 

I...Errr...Yes...but what do you think about the fight of these many people verses just one?

 

Yes of course this is an important issue but I want to talk about the real reason I am here tonight. Yes to slander that idoit. Professor of Fluffy Things I challange you to a duel!

 

What...Oh yes quite. Shall we agree on the normal rules?

 

I think that would be best

 

Err perhaps you should both calm down alittle bit. We are not really equipt for a fight.

 

Shut it Archi. This go back to before your father was in fluffy underwear

 

I serouisly think you should calm down before I....*Thunk*

 

Now stay there while I kill this guy

 

What? Oh right, yeah you better stay there or else

 

Ladies and Gentalmen I am seeing what I can only descibe as what it is. Two fully grown nerds attempting to kill each other with what looks like a pocket protector

 

Your mother was a noodle nosed A7!

 

Your Father wasn't fit to have belly button fluff

 

As you can hear this is probably the most violent encounter between two nerds there has been thus far in the history of Runescape.

 

We appologise for the sudden loss in picture, there has been a slight technical error. Sound will continue as normal

 

Yes Yes, I Don't BELIEVE IT N.E.Jit has Scott McNutter in a head lock. No I really don't believe it, Scott McNutter has used a pair of fluffy handcuffs as a set of Nunchucks and whacked N.E. in the stomach. Fortunatly there is barely enough muscle to lift it rather than to cause damage. Whats this!! A paper cut. Professor Jit has pulled on paper armour!! Oh my God!!!! I don't believe what I am seeing. What appears to be a fluffy snowball is charging at the paper fortress. Yes there is blood everywhere. Soaking red wads of this strange mix has been strewn across the news desk. I don't know how much longer these two can go at each other. Oh my!!! This is a turn up for the books! It seems the studio has been invaded by two Geek/Nerd armies! There are ball points flighting everywhere, pocket protectors have been tossed aside and they have flipped out! Oh my god they have seen me! In those legendary words RUN AWAY!!!!!

 

*Some time later*

 

Well it has been a tough fight but against my level 1 combat these guys didn't stand a chance. Although I was slightly helped but the speedy arrivel of the boys in blue. Thats right from the docks next door to the station the customs offices have seized control of the station. But again my incredible level 1 combat was able to see them off before any serouis damage could be done. This has been Archimage A, Reporting from the remains of the station

 

 

 

 

 

________

 

 

 

PS sorry about the lack of people in the pic, usually there will be all the guests but I was needed elseware and was already streching my limits

[Harakiri]

chapter 4: Preliminaries day 1: Snake gone mad

 

 

 

Snake looked over at Noob who was half asleep. Suddenly the king yelled "Angelus please step up to the ring." A man in full guthans showed up and entered the ring.

 

 

 

"Army of guthans guys please enter the ring."

 

 

 

An army of people wearing guthans entered the ring. Only 50 could fit so they decided to just put 20 in the ring at once.

 

 

 

"Please fight!" yelled the king.

 

 

 

Nobody knew who was who so it was basically a massacre of the innocents. Nobody outside the ring could distinguish anyone and this pretty much went on for an hour and a half. Soon the king got bored and asked which person was Angelus. Everyone in the ring said "I" and the king told the guards to grab all the bodies and throw them into Varrock sewers. He then told the rest of the guthans guys to fight some more. Eventually one was left and the king crowned him the winner.

 

 

 

The king announced it was lunch time and everyone walked off to their favorite pub for some good food. The fighters went inside the castle and were served more exquisite food. Snake of course ate slowly and eyed all the remaining people.

 

 

 

He then walked off to the library. He saw a guy reading a book and saw that it was Archimage.

 

 

 

"Killing an innocent? That is not like you." Archimage said.

 

 

 

"I just could not stop. I...I think I need some time by myself."

 

 

 

"I have been reading up on hellhounds."

 

 

 

"Why?"

 

 

 

"Because I knew that when you touch the saliva of a hellhound you get a thirst for blood and will eventually go nuts and kill everyone to get blood."

 

 

 

"No way! I could not become someone like that."

 

 

 

"Did you have any second thoughts before killing that man?"

 

 

 

"I kind of did but..." He trailed off as he looked at Archimage.

 

 

 

"You! You want me killed because you know I am going to win the fighting tournament! You are going to tell the king and he is going to kick me out!"

 

 

 

"No...I just feel that it is bad that you have gotten bitten..."

 

 

 

"I will kill you! You are jealous of my power! Burn in hell!"

 

 

 

Royal guards rushed in and pushed Snake down. They held onto his arms and legs. Snake used all his strength to break free of their grasp and got up. He ran at Archimage and Archimage's codex bubble appeared. Snake punched it and when he did he felt a sensation that knocked him cold.

 

 

 

Archimage looked at Snakes limp body. The guards got up and rushed to grab him.

 

 

 

"Take him to the medical ward and i will try to create a serum to his problem. Oh, and if he starts to look like he is morphing into something its probably a hellhound. Tell me if this happens."

 

 

 

The guards looked at Archimage and laughed.

 

 

 

"O.K we will alert you if the scary hellhound awakens from inside the scary murderers body." said one of the guards.

 

 

 

"He is not a murderer!" said Archimage.

 

 

 

"Then what do you call his attack on you?"

 

 

 

"A symptom of hellhound saliva."

 

 

 

"Your a nut!"

 

 

 

"Whatever." Archimages codex bubble appeared and all of a sudden the guards were saying "We will tell you when the transformation begins."

 

 

 

"Good." Archimage walked off and went to the apothecaries house.

 

 

 

 

 

At the sewers, four guards were heaving bodies into the sewer. They took the armor and threw the bodies down, thinking they could make a huge profit off of the armor. Once all the bodies were down the guards looked at there rather heavy cart of guthans armor and started jumping and laughing. One of the guards tripped and fell into the sewer. He fell on the bodies and said "I'm all right", when all of a sudden he started screaming.

 

A terrible tearing sound was heard and the guards screamed as some of the bodies jumped out of the sewers and said "We wants ours armor backs." The guards ran and all of a sudden ran into a set of 3 more of the zombies. All three of them screamed as the zombies tore them to shreds.

 

 

 

 

 

The scream was heard by Archimage as he was walking to the Apothecaries. He ran to where it was coming from and saw the guards get eaten. Archimage watched as the zombies dragged the bodies and dumped them into the sewer and grabbed a cart full of guthans armor. They dumped all the armor into the sewer and then hopped into it themselves.

 

 

 

Archimage decided he would go in there later and check everything out but right now he needed to worry about Snake. Meanwhile a match between grumpy mod and mutant autoer was on. Mutant Autoer was trying to escape to the yew tree behind the castle but could not as Grumpy mod killed him with a kick to the back of the head. As people screamed and cheered at the fight Archimage was looking at the ingredients the Apothecary had. He would need the blood of a pheonix to get everything he needed. The apothecary sold this at five hundred thousand a pop. Archimage bought it and cursed Snake under his breath.

 

 

 

"You better pay me back." he said and went back to the castle.

 

 

 

 

 

Snake had transformed and the guards were sleeping. Snake the hellhound walked out of the castle and into the foyer where he ate the two guards at the doors heads off. He then jumped down the stairs and into the courtyard where he ate a few of the fighters heads. The king screamed and Snake the hellhound saw him and ran to the wall. He then jumped up the stairs and sliced the guards and the heroes guild members just jumped to safety. The king tried to jump. Snake the Hellhound jumped at him. Archimage saw the king fall and put a levitation spell on him.

 

 

 

Snake the Hellhound then dropped onto his paws and ran at Archimage. Archimage levitated Snake the hellhound as he jumped at him. Archimage then opened the vial with the cure and dumped it into Snake the Hellhounds open mouth. Snake the hellhound turned back into Snake and Archimage watched as Snake said "Could you put me down."

 

 

 

Suddenly guards walked up to Snake.

 

 

 

"Guards, kill him!" yelled the king.

 

 

 

Archimage told them to stop. They stopped.

 

 

 

Archimage put the king on the ground as he was still levitating and the king stared at Archimage. Archimage explained everything and the king and crowd and guards laughed. Some were not laughing though and Archimage gave respect to those that did not laugh.

 

 

 

Snake got up and rubbed his head. He looked around at everyone staring at him.

 

 

 

"What did I do?"

 

 

 

Archimages codex bubble convinced everyone the story was true and Snake was not hanged and the King and his men got back together at the top of the wall and started the next fight. The heroes guild people did not show up till the next day. So the fights went on and they became more and more gruesome.

 

 

 

To be continued

[archimage_a]

=D> =D> =D> Captured my personality and Archimage's perfectly. The Codex bubble was a nice touch, non-violent but equally useful in a violent situation.

 

 

 

Anyway its going really well and I like the off handed manner that everything is refered to, the fight (of the level 3's) is so off handly less than a paragraph it actually works.

 

 

 

There was also a good mix of serouis and funny with the Guthan Guys.

 

"

We wants ours armor backs....All three of them screamed as the zombies tore them to shreds. "

 

 

 

Anyway fixed my pic so it doesn't interfer with the text.

[Harakiri]

i captured your personality? Holy crap I am good at this. I will write more later.

[Harakiri]

Chapter 5: The end of the preliminaries (really long chapter)

 

 

 

Snake and Archimage watched the next match from the stairs. Cronic Lier scared the forth god to death when he said that if he kills him he will reincarnate into Zezima and take revenge on him. The match went to cronic lier.

 

 

 

Bluejay was dueling archimages aquan and killed them with his giant bluebird . The bluebird grabbed them and threw them into the air and and watched as they splattered on the cement. Bluejay won.

 

 

 

Next is one of the matches the fans were looking forward to. Spider Cow vs. The Generic Innkeeper. The innkeeper paced around the cow and then walked in front of it.

 

 

 

"You want a beer?" he asked. He waved a beer mug in front of the cows face.

 

 

 

The cow mooed and nudged at the innkeeper throwing him to the other side of the arena.

 

 

 

"You will pay for my checkup to repair my broken ribs." Said the innkeeper.

 

 

 

The innkeeper than ran at the cow and smashed the beer mug onto the cows face. Pieces of the glass broke and protruded from the cows flesh. The eyes of the cow were poked out and the cow opened it mouth as it fell to the ground, dead. The eyes rolled out of its mouth and blood streamed a path until the eyes came to a complete stop. The innkeeper the said,"He will pay in hell for this broken mug!"

 

 

 

Next match was the cult of the vegies against Archimages bother. Archimages bother was killed by the sharpened carrots of the cult of the orange vegies.

 

 

 

I WILL CONTINUE THIS CHAPTER LATER RIGHT NOW I GOTTA GO DO SOMETHING STUPID WITH THE WIFE. FINISH THIS CHAPTER BY 8 EASTERN TIME.

[Harakiri]

i am doing very scarce discreptions of fights because most of the characters i don't care about. The biggest fight so far is coming tonight and will have a pretty huge chapter climax.

[archimage_a]

Boo Hiss Archimage Aquan Rules!!!!!!!

 

Anyway it would have been better(in my opinion) to mix in these fights with the story that you are about to write/writing now/posted the moment I clicked reply.

 

 

 

The Generic Innkeeper was probably the best fight. But they are all pretty much half-heartly comical...They didn't really fit with the SEROUIS nature of the rest of the story...

 

 

 

Oh and by the way... Archimage A is Archimage Aquan....Archimage A is just short form because it wouldn't fit....

 

 

 

Anyway can't update my parelle NtTON because there is not real devolpment and I have been busy so...

[Harakiri]

CHAPTER 5 CONTINUED

 

 

 

The next match was the master against Xarosen. The master began with a punch to the stomach and an upper cut that smashed Xarosen's nose in. He took out his dragon scimitar and sliced the masters hand open. She screamed as the wound bled all over the arena. Little children cried at the bloody site of it. The master pinched some of the skin over her wound and stitched it together with iron knives. She then pulled out her dragon scimitar and Xarosen met her sword in a fierce blow that knocked both of them off there feet. The master got up the soonest and lunged at Xarosen. He blocked but the master then took out her dragon dagger. It was poisoned. She lunged it into Xarosen's arm and pulled, creating a huge wound, much like the one she had, that had poison in it. She then threw him out of the arena to end the match.

 

 

 

Xarosen was taken for medical treatment while the master walked off to the city.

 

 

 

The next match was Zhunger against plunger and Plunger one by stuffing a plunger down Zhunger's throat.

 

 

 

It was then dinner time. Everyone left while the fighters got a meal that seemed to have nothing but meat involved. Snake ate faster this time and walked off to Reldo to see what he found on necromancers.

 

 

 

Reldo was looking for a book when Snake walked in.

 

 

 

"Found anything?" asked Snake.

 

 

 

"Nothing at all, I could of sworn i had a book on necromancers and the cards say no one checked it out!"

 

 

 

"Well, maybe our evil friend took it in the middle of the night."

 

 

 

"Could be."

 

 

 

"Well, i guess I will leave you alone then."

 

 

 

"See you later."

 

 

 

"Yup."

 

 

 

Snake went out to the parlor and saw Archimage just sitting there.

 

 

 

"Whats up?" asked Snake.

 

 

 

"I am thinking how I am going to win my match tonight."

 

 

 

"Throw noob out of the arena and sit there letting your codex bubble hurt powerent."

 

 

 

"No. Has to be an even easier way. I will figure it out."

 

 

 

Soon, everyone was hurdled outside for the fight Da Mage against yap yap. yap yap lost.

 

 

 

Next was the first three way match. I wont go into detail because this match sucked. Another God won somehow.

 

 

 

 

 

NOTE: I am not going into detail about the fights because, i really dont care. As we get to the better matches I will go through each one. But for now i want to get the story moving.

 

 

 

 

 

The final match of the night. It was getting dark and bonfires were lit around the castle to ward off shades. Torches were lit around the arena and the King stood to announce the final preliminary match.

 

 

 

"We have had some fine fights. But this is the one you have all waited for. Noob please step up."

 

 

 

Noob got into the arena and screamed "WOOOOOOOOO" no one responded.

 

 

 

"Powerent, please make your presence known in the arena!" Powerent walked in and nodded his head in recognition of Noob.

 

 

 

"And finally Archimage!" Archimage walked into the arena and took off his robe.

 

 

 

"Good luck to you all. May the best man win!"

 

 

 

The fight began and both Powerent and Archimage ran up to Noob. They grabbed him and threw him out of the ring. Then, Archimage paced around Powerent.

 

 

 

"I am gonna hurt you bad." Powerent said.

 

 

 

"I dare you to try." Archimage responded.

 

 

 

Just as Powerent was about to pull a punch at Archimage, the lights went out. Complete darkness. People screamed. Suddenly, a figure could be seen in the castles gates. A hooded figure. A snake was gagging him it seemed. But he did not make a single noise as he walked through the crowd and jumped over the arena. Snake stood up and Suddenly, all the lights came back on.

 

 

 

The man then grabbed Snakes face and threw him into one of the pillars that hold up the castle. The lights shut back off and a shade could be seen behind the king. A glint of a long, silver knife could be seen in the shades hand. Suddenly a scream. More shades. The king was sitting there. Snake looked as closely as he could, using the moonlight as his light, and saw that the kings neck was bleeding. The shade slit the kings throat.

 

 

 

Snake got up before the hooded figure with the snake could hit him again. The shades were killing all the civilians in there way. Archimage saw one in the arena and used a fire magic spell to put it on flames. The dim fire did not disturb the other shades as they killed mercilessly. The kings body was thrown over the wall. Guards were being slaughtered. Snake watched as more and more people died. Archimage, Powerent, and Snake tried to get out together. Noob was dead. Archimage put up a burning shield so that Snake and Powerent were able to escape with him.

 

 

 

Outside the castle the same scene. Merciless killing. Snake was getting fed up. Suddenly, Snake was transforming.

 

 

 

"What the hell?" asked Archimage.

 

 

 

Snake was now a hellhound. Snake the hell hound jumped on the back of one of the shades and bit him. The shade went crazy, trying to get the hellhound off him. Archimage saw what Snake the hellhound was doing and attacked with a fire spell. Snake the hellhound jumped off the shade as it burst into flames.

 

 

 

"What happened to Snake?" asked Powerent.

 

 

 

"It seems that whenever he gets really mad he now transforms into hellhound."

 

 

 

"Ohh that is frickin' awesome."

 

 

 

Snakie the hellhound opened up shades to attack. Eventually, the shades retreated. The hooded figure with the snake appeared. "That is enough destruction for now. I will return and kill you and the rest of the fighters."

 

 

 

On a return trip to the castle, Snake transformed back to himself and saw all the returning fighters still alive and inspecting the bodies. The queen ran out from her bedroom and looked at her husbands dead body. Reldo ran out.

 

 

 

"SNAKE!" he said loudly.

 

 

 

"What?"

 

 

 

"The sign of a necromancer with a snake around his neck is a sign of armageddon!"

 

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

 

 

 

 

 

I just get darker and darker don't I? What will happen to the tournament? Will the necromancer get killed? All these questions and more will be answered in future chapters but right now I want to see Archimage do another news show about what will happen in these future chapters and i want everyone to answer who there number 1 favorite character is. This is basically a poll that i will use to make sure that you see enough of that character. I like Snake as a hellhound but, believe it or not, my number one fav character is Archimage! WHAT? I like the innkeeper to.

 

 

 

1vote for Archimage.

 

 

 

Vote for your fav everyone!

[archimage_a]

"No. Has to be an even easier way. I will figure it out."

 

Sounds like me..."How can I make less work for myself....I know think about it alot and come up with a super stragety that took so much longer than it would have done to just done it..."

 

 

 

Anyway its moving into a darker and darker phase, but the story is getting little bit more humorous...and it felt like when they all meet up in the Holy Grail.

 

"And they were forced to eat robin's minstrals....and there was much rejoycing"

 

"Noob was dead."

 

Same sort of...hmmm time to get rid of the extrenous characters.

 

 

 

Er on the whole though its turning out really well. Obvouisly not happy that Xarosen lost the fight...I would have been happier if there had been a little God powers battle but still...Lets see I do unfortunately like Noob the most(just because they are that character that everyone loves to hate) after them though Archimage is my fav...not because I created them, just because they are one of those people that is selfless. Goes around buying anti-hellhound potions and stuff for someone who they barely know...lol.

 

 

 

Anyway time for another additon of Not the Ten O'clock News.

 

_____________

 

Hello I am Archimage A and Welcome to Not the Ten O'clock News.

 

And tonight Not on the News at 10:

 

The King is Dead, who is coming next?

 

So You think you know what is gonna happen next?

 

And finally(Because there is nothing better) with the magic of Ghostspeak we talk to Noob about his recent axing from the show.

 

 

 

And thats all tonight, Not on the News at 10.

 

 

 

To talk about what is going to happen next in terms of the royal succession we have got the much....errr happy...Queen.

 

 

So how has these past few hours effected you?

 

They have of course been filled with alot of work. As his last words, to which only I heard he said he was going to leave the entire kingdom to me. So I have had to commission of lot of statues of mysel...us.

 

And what about Reldo's claims that the royal succession must go though the male side of the family?

 

Well its a sad time for all of us...It is a shame that he went mad and I had to have him locked up...*and those pesky rumours got out*. But still some people have said this and I think that it is important to note that we are the in the middle of what appears to be an attack, it is hardly the time to start fighting amongst ourselves.

 

So you are going to be holding control while some of the other courtiers track down the King's brother...How odd he is also called Reldo. It would be strange to think that the libarian and the king's brother shared the same name wouldn't it. I suppose thats why no one has heard from him since the time the library was started. Would you not agree?

 

There is going to be time after this for us to solve the mystery of Reldo's disapperance. I think its more important we focus on the second issue tonight. The attacking mosters.

 

Yes this is very true. However we do have a speical clip of the monsters so you know what to look for.

 

 

Very worry...ing....stuff...I appologise it seems we have had our tapes mixed up...this is not a shade, this is the Death Beast of Oraga. Errr Yes... As I was saying we need to be on our guard against them Earlier tonight a passing tourist shot these amazing pictures of what was going on high on the tower

 

 

I...Errr...Yes as you can see what appears to be some sort of flying mace came gliding down a ripped the heads off many of the combatants. We suspect these might be somehow related to the shade attacks. A small amount of the combat that took place between the shades and the warriors stationed here in Varrock was caught. We go live to it now.

 

 

Ermmm...yes as you can see the shades are roughly this big, and thier graphic is missing from the Jagex Database...So from this we can see the only real defence is an Uzi....If you don't have an Uzi please write to us at:

 

PO Box 123

 

NRA Branch number 53292

 

Varrock

 

And we will send you one as soon as possible. Also be aware of falling shades...as you can see they are very heavy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On a lighter note we have the recently axed character, Noob, here today with us to talk about...well I don't know what is it that you wanted to talk about Noob?

 

HI MUM!!!!!

 

Err didn't you want to talk to us about...

 

...HI GUYS YOU SAID I WOULD NEVER MAKE IT BUT I DID SO PROVED YOU WRONG!!!!

 

Umm this is a serouis new report...no one is actually watching....Please stop touching the camara.

 

I can see my house from here.

 

O...k that takes up all the time was have...

 

No we still have another 2 pages to fill up.

 

Xnay on the TimeLay

 

Is this thing on?

 

NO!!!!!11111!!!!!~!!11!!@!@!!@!!!!@#!@#!@!@$!@!!@!@1 Thats...

 

 

We would like to appologise for the loss of picture quality.

 

Live....

 

 

 

We regret to inform you that the much loved... .... ... The well known....The extrenenous character of Noob has been killed....again...for the last time...

[archimage_a]

Oh and incase anyone was bothered...the smallest pictures were not mine. Just so the actual copy right holders know...I have lost the editing button so I can't get rid of them...honest...

 

Serouisly if anyone is that bothered people contact me via PM...this applies to all pictures by me...or posted by me.