*321 has the calls redirected to a polar bear rental agency*

*Rents a polar bear, then rides his polar bear in the Indy 500 and wins, then goes to Silver's house, then eats everything in her pantry, then rids his polar bear home, then sleeps.*

*calls the cops on the naked man riding a polar bear who ate all her food*

*321 shows up in a raunchy cop outfit and asks silver_wits what the problem seems to be*

*Tells the cop that his live-in gay life-partner was riding a naked polar bear and that he needs to go stop him before he hurts himself*

*321 informs her that since Goon is in fact the mayor of the town he has changed the law so there is no crime in riding a polar bear naked. while explaining this he leans seductively in her doorway...*

*Decrees that all cops must wear tu-tu's.*

*high-fives goon for wanting to see teh love of his life in a tutu*

*since 321 is not a real cop he doesn't have to wear a tutu, he pretends to stretch backwards but really he is just trying to emphasis his bulge in silver's direction*

*gives 321 a badge and a tutu as he was just made a cop by the mayor of the town*

*321 then resigns due to Conduct Unbecoming of an Officer (sexually harassing silver_wits). He then continues to sexually harass silver_wits*

*Points out in the cop's manual that it is ok to sexually harass a forum games member.. as long as they started it*

*321 points out that the rules aren't always "rigid"*

*Uses smelling salts on 321 to end the fantasy.*

*321 awakes from his coma, alas not to find silver_wits waiting with a sammich and provocative outfit, but Death with smelling salts and dressed like a hobo, "How long was I out?" inquires 321*

*Ignores 321's question and instead hands him a picture taken the previous night at a FG reunion of Silver in a provocative outfit holding a sammich.*

*321 smirks and places the picture by his bed and makes a mental note to put it in his "spank bank" he then stands up to find he is wearing one of those [wagon]-less hospital gowns*

*Stares at 321's bum in sheer terror.*

*in horror 321 realizes that his previously healthy and slightly toned body has degraded to what can only be described as a blob,"Quick get me some P90X videos!" He yells at Goon*

*Not knowing what P90X videos are, Goon grabs his entire porn collection (all 2,374 hours of it) and races back to 321's bedside.*

*321 then spends the next 2374 hours jerkin the gherkin and occasionally eating, and by the time he is done he can throw a truck with his right arm, and has slimmed down to his normal size*

*Pleased his friend is back to his normal weight, Goon kicks him in the nads.*

*it is ineffective however, think about it 321 just beat off for over 2000 hours, they're already black and blue. 321 however grabs him with his super right arm and tosses him through the window*

*Turns around in mid air and flies back in through the window, then nonchalantly walks out the door.*

*321 gingerly takes the pic of silver that Goon gave him ,and runs off to hide it in his spank bank*