For the Seven. (Chapter 2 posted)

[Echofish]

This is chapter one of my new series, For the Seven. It's a story about 7 warriors who were brought on to our world from the past to relive a new life, earn new memories etc. I got this idea from watching a brilliant anime called Fate/Stay Night. So, I give you Chapter one!

 

 

 

 

 

Saber

 

 

 

 

 

Swords clashed, arrows flew and spells were cast as loud clangs echoed throughout the dark evening. A battle between seven great warriors like this was inevitable, but only one would stand victorious. But who would ever be suspect a battle like this? Not in our era, not in our millenia. Not when the warriors themselves are cleverly disguised as one of us.

 

 

 

-----

 

 

 

"Hey, wake up you damn lazy fool! Wake up for once, will ya?!" a boy almost flew out of his bed. "Listen Nick, if you don't wake up now, I'll take that fake guitar game of yours and destr-"

 

 

 

"Okay, okay I'm up! Sheesh... Who hired you to wake me up anyway" Nick sat up groggily "Just because you can't beat me in Guitar Hero 2..."

 

 

 

His name was Nick.

 

 

 

"You going to college today, Ben?" Nick asked his roommate.

 

 

 

"Nah, I hardly have any lessons today.Besides, they're worthless. Going on PS2 probably." Before Nick could retort, Ben had already started up Guitar Hero 2.

 

 

 

Nick's eyebrow visibly twitched. "I thought you said that game was fake"

 

 

 

Ben laughed it off "Not when I play it, now go, you're gonna ruin my perfect streak"

 

 

 

"Perfect in beginners, hmph" he said while exiting the door. Nick managed to close the door in time before a pillowing came hurdling towards his way. "I heard that!"

 

 

 

-----

 

 

 

"Damn it..." Nick almost stumbled over as he stepped on the rubbish bag blocking the doorway. Ben was supposed to take it out before he got home, "bloody bastard" as Nick would say. He just came home from college, dripping wet with rainwater. Curse the great British weather, we're being robbed of our summer here!

 

 

 

"Might as well do it anyway" he thought to himself. Grabbing the bags, he quickly made a run outside and quickly went back in.

 

 

 

In the living room, he found Ben asleep on the couch. Look at him, just lying there waiting to be slapped...

 

 

 

Nick held that thought. He better check if he took their laundry in, or else he'd have no clean underwear to wear tomorrow.

 

 

 

Just his luck, Ben had also forgotten about the laundry that hanged over their balcony to dry. It wasn't drying at all, it would take the whole night for these to dry again.

 

 

 

"Arghh! Watch when I get my hands on him I'm so gonna ki-"

 

 

 

He looked down briefly and noticed that there was some of pentagram pattern on the floor of their balcony. He leant over to rub it off, instead activated the seal, bringing forth a bright jet of blue light.

 

 

 

"Ben, is this some kind of christmas lantern? It's glowing, ahahahaah- oh my god!"

 

 

 

Nick was now totally engulfed in the obscenely bright blue light. The pattern on the ground however, glowed an even more darker, intenser light. As if lightning had struck his building, he heard an deafening bang. Then, out of nowhere, a figure was slowly ascending from the ground itself.

 

 

 

The figure was a woman.

 

 

 

Nick felt like he just seen something awesomer than a free blue partyhat.

 

 

 

The woman was clad in a royal blue dress, with the exception of metal armour hanging from her chest down to her ankle-length skirt. With blonde hair neatly kept in a bun, this woman looked ready to fight. She finally noticed Nick and turned to face him.

 

 

 

"Are you the one who summoned me?" She was now glaring daggers at him.

 

 

 

"Uhhh.. you mean that crazy looking drawing thingy? Umm, I think..." Nick was at a loss for words. Not everyday do you see a woman clad in medieval armour materialise infront of you in a rainy day.

 

 

 

"Then you are my master" she knelt in front of Nick.

 

 

 

"Ahh.. ehh, this is a joke, right?"

 

 

 

When the woman shook her head,

 

 

 

Nick gulped.

[llamster]

It's a good start. Rather funny, too.

[Garion11]

OOhh, nice! Very funny

[Toxicologist]

You not only got the idea, but so far you have completely ripped the storyline...

[powerent]

Quite good, I'm interested to hear more.

[Echofish]

You not only got the idea, but so far you have completely ripped the storyline...

 

 

 

Ripped the storyline? The storyline in one chapter? :roll:

 

 

 

Trust me, as familiar is it sounds, this is not a carbon copy of it. Ever heard of fanfiction?

[archimage_a]

Normally a fan fic will take the scene and the events surrounding a story and make a seperate story. I don't know one way or the other on this story, but usually a fan fic is only barely related to the main story...For instance a Fan Fic of Runescape is not one of the Quests that has been jazzed up a bit...that is a rip...

 

 

 

So I reservadly say it is Good...But...if it is a rip then...

[Echofish]

It isn't a rip. Why would I bother re-writing a TV show and post it here?

 

 

 

There's just alot of reference there. Maybe I put too much and made it look like I ripped it. A lot of stories start of the same way, which makes them look very familiar. I don't like being accused of ripping, it took me time to write this and I feel very offended.

[Echofish]

Chapter 2:

 

 

 

An Archer's arrival

 

 

 

"Okay... so your telling me she just popped up from nowhere?!"

 

 

 

Nick turned to face his friend, who was now gaping at their new visitor.

 

 

 

"Yeah, kinda like that..."

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

"Dude, she's hot" Ben stated "Look at her armour, damn."

 

 

 

Nick was not pleased. Who is she? How did she got there? And, why? She look very unfamiliar with her surroundings and her accent was very peculiar. They barely have any food in the fridge for themselves, then this happens. The young woman swatted Ben's hand away from her skirt, as he was starting to feel his way around her plateskirt.

 

 

 

"It's very inappropriate to touch a woman without her consent." the woman said with a disapproving look on her face. Nick just came back with a cup of tea and some biscuits. He gave him a look, which made him back off from the woman even further.

 

 

 

"God Ben, aren't you worried about this at all? What if she was kidnapped? They'd think we did it!" Nick looked very distraught. "What if she-"

 

 

 

"You have summoned me, Master Nick. Therefore I am here to abide by whatever you say."

 

 

 

Ben gave him a look. "So, you 'summoned' her here? And you're blabbing about stupid nonsense about her being kidnapped!" Nick could only put his arms up in defeat. "Or maybe you did kidnap the woma-"

 

 

 

"Integra"

 

 

 

"Ehh? Intiger what?"

 

 

 

"My name is Integra."

 

 

 

"Did she say Integra?" Ben tugged on Nick's sleeve. "Isn't that from a game or something?"

 

 

 

"Integra, eh? Weird but I guess it's a girlish name." Nick answered back, "Anyway, I don't know Integra nor did I kidnap her! I'm telling you she just popped up from that weird looking circle on the balcony."

 

 

 

Ben started to think. "Oh that! I thought you drew that, nice work mate. It's pretty cool. I like the red on the tile too. I prefer the blu-"

 

 

 

Integra interrupted him once again, "There's another seal? You must show me right away!" She immediately stood up, totally forgetting the tea she had in hand causing to drop and pour all over the carpet.

 

 

 

"Oh, great! Look what you did!" Nick moaned. It was always him who ends up doing the cleaning.

 

 

 

-----

 

 

 

Ben lead the way to the bathroom. The others soon followed behind him. They stopped inside the bathroom and located the intricate red circular pattern embellished on the smooth white tile. The moment Integra touched the pattern, she flinched a slight puff of smoke erupted from the circle.

 

 

 

"Hey Nick, wouldn't that set off the smoke alarm?"

 

 

 

"That smoke alarm hasn't been working for years, don't worry." Nick reassured him.

 

 

 

"This symbol represents Gandiva. The archer is coming." Integra said as she closely examined the strange design. "He has won many battles and he will not stop at anything. Try not to get in his way"

 

 

 

"He doesn't sound like a nice guy, eh Nick? Nick?" Ben waved his hand and snapped his fingers to get Nick's attention, but Nick was staring at something else. Ben turned around to see what he was looking at and saw that the seal was now shining brightly red.

 

 

 

"Not good, I think I saw this kind of light before!" Nick slapped the back of his head "Of course you did you fool! That's how Integra got here in the first place!" Both heads turned back to Integra and the seal but the intensity of the light forced to move out of the small, enclosed bathroom. Just in time to escape the blast that send them flying towards the wall.

 

 

 

"Umm, Nick? I don't think your Dad will be happy about paying the damages for this..."

 

 

 

After the smoke cleared, the bathroom was left in ruins. Pieces of shattered marble and glass were scattered everywhere as two figures emerged from the debris. As for the wall that separated the bathroom from the hall; half were on the ground as rubble.

 

 

 

"I see that you still weild the Gandiva, Arjun."

 

 

 

Arjun, clad in a worn out cloak and his breastplate, seemed to have escaped the blast unscathed. He stood tall, golden hair blowing in the non-existing wind. He knelt down to Nick and Ben's level, who were still lying face-front from the blast, and asked:

 

 

 

"You, were you the ones who summoned me?" Arjun had a slight accent, that sounded somewhat like an Indian's

 

 

 

"They have. I have been called forth by them also.They will supervise us for the time being. But for now, we must find the others. It would be troublesome if they awaken without proper supervision nor contact with us." she explained.

 

 

 

"Now," helping Nick and Ben up, "You happen to have any rations that I can consume? Waiting for that long, takes it toll on a man stomach" He winked, which made Nick and Ben shudder.

 

 

 

-----

 

 

 

Nick and Ben are now involved in the hunt for these powerful warriors. They are to supervise, like Integra said, but do they have what it takes to convince these tempermental heroes? Integra has warned them about the ranger, but he seemed to have a liking for the pair. Who will they discover next?

 

 

 

-----

 

 

 

Arjun's origins - Arjun is one of the names of Arjuna, a figure from Hindu Mythology. He weilds Gandiva, a legendary bow that grants it's user sure victory in battle.

 

 

 

How did I come of the name Integra? She's a character from an anime, would that be ripping too? Tell me.

[archimage_a]

Ok....

 

Look at it like this. We have someone who has started writing only yesterday here. They are writing a pretty good peice of literature. Someone has brought up the fact that it appears to be somewhat ripped, and being the rest of us have no idea about the actual show we can't say one way or the other.

 

So while we all...well everyone except Tox that is...give you the benfit of the doubt and do not say that you have stole the story at all. We simply want you to be aware of the rules, as you said you took a long time to write this. So if it were something that was...underly imagined and overly ripped...then it would have to be deleated...regardless of how much time you put in...We just don't want to see you waste your time.

 

 

 

But anyway. The story is good. Its well written however the characters are not exactly well constructed...In the first chapter we are told alot about the main two characters, but its a very TV sort of knowladge. The things they think are what, in my opinion, what TV Characters would say to no one in particular.

 

There is also the problem with the ending...It suddenly underlines everything above it. But more than that it actually gives the reader the impression that thats all that happened. So the whole thing seems like a narration rather than a story, or a blurb at best.

 

 

 

What I am saying is that the story doesn't feel like a story, it feels like a TV script. But thats just me...

[99pulse99]

Great story Echo \

 

 

 

 

 

My favorite character so far is Nick :thumbsup:

[Unoalexi]

Ten(Nine, one died due to possible rippage) kittens out of ten! KITTEN PARTY WEWT W3WT!

 

 

 

Excellent story! I cant wait to read the next part!

 

 

 

If using names to reference stuff from real life is ripping, then Rowling ripped mostly all the named of her characters(From stars).