Tesset Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Didn't do anything nearing homework today! Hooray! My skin is finally getting softI'll scrub until the damn thing comes off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psycho_Robot Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 meh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H2PM Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I finished all my homework due tomorrow. "Let your anger be as a monkey in a piñata... hiding amongst the candy... hoping the kids don't break through with the stick." - Master Tang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tesset Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I don't think I have any homework due tomorrow actually. My skin is finally getting softI'll scrub until the damn thing comes off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H2PM Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 "Let your anger be as a monkey in a piñata... hiding amongst the candy... hoping the kids don't break through with the stick." - Master Tang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tesset Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Who's a linux then? My skin is finally getting softI'll scrub until the damn thing comes off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H2PM Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 UmmmI don't know... Maybe like those hipsters that are respectable? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did I just use Hipster and respectable in the same sentence? Hahaha oh man there is something wrong with me today. "Let your anger be as a monkey in a piñata... hiding amongst the candy... hoping the kids don't break through with the stick." - Master Tang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blaah Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 There are two legionnaires in the desert, and they've been separated from their unit and are lost. They've been wandering for several days without food and water, and are nearly resigned to the fact that they will soon die from dehydration, when as they reach the top of a sand dune, they see a big, bustling market laid out before them. Naturally, they can't believe their eyes and think it's a mirage, but as they draw closer, they can hear the stallholders' cries, and they eventually reach the market and realise that it's really there. So the legionnaires rush up to the first stall they can and cry to the stallholder, "Stallholder, we have been travelling in the desert for many days, and have had no food or water. We shall surely die soon unless you have some you can sell us - tell us, do you have any sustenance for us?" The stallholder shook his head and replied "I'm sorry, French legionnaire type people, but all I have to sell is a load of bowls full of jelly, topped with custard and cream, and lovingly sprinkled with hundreds and thousands." The legionnaires look at each other, mildly surprised, and move on to the next stall, where they ask the stallholder, "Mr purveyor of fine foodstuffs and the like, we have been travelling through the desert for days, deprived of the necessary beverages and foodstuffs which are required for survival. We shall surely die soon, unless you can sell us some skins of water." The stallholder looked at them embarrassed, and confessed "Gentlemen, tragic as I admit it is, I have none of the ingredients necessary to life for which you ask me... all I have to sell is this large bowl of jelly topped with custard and cream and sprinkled with hundreds and thousands, with a little cocktail cherry in the middle at the top - there," he said, pointing out the glace cherry. "I cannot help you..." The legionnaires look at each other in desperation, and run on to the next stall, where they demand of the stallholder, "Look mate, we need water or we'll die. We've been travelling without water for days and need some now, Do you have any you can sell us?" The stallholder looked at his curl-ended shoes in shame as he confessed, "Sorry, fellas, all I have to sell you is a bowl of jelly, with custard, cream and hundreds and thousands. I can't help you. I'll have to condemn you to a long and lingering death through dehydration." The legionnaires were really worried by this point, and they went through the market, stall by stall, asking each stallholder whether they had any water they could sell them, and thus save their lives, but each stallholder gave the same reply, all they had to sell was a bowl of jelly with cream, custard and hundreds and thousands. Dejected and resigned to their grim fate, the legionnaires left the desert market and walked off into the setting sun. As they did so, one turned to the other, and said, "That was really odd - a big market in the middle of nowhere, and all they sold was bowls of jelly with custard, cream and hundreds and thousands." The other turned to face his companion and replied, "Yes, it was a trifle bazaar..." /FG/First thread post to when I joined the family.[hide=Insert rant here]blahblahblahLIFE[/hide] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H2PM Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 My caring meter is at drastically low levels. "Let your anger be as a monkey in a piñata... hiding amongst the candy... hoping the kids don't break through with the stick." - Master Tang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abc1230 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 :arrow: YouTube Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H2PM Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 "Let your anger be as a monkey in a piñata... hiding amongst the candy... hoping the kids don't break through with the stick." - Master Tang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanyTheSailor Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I agree with abc, and the punchline was a facepalm more than a laugh. God dammit Seany, STOP SHARING MY MIND" I believe in something greater than myself. A better world. A world without sin. I'm not going to live there. There's no place for me there... I'm a monster.What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blaah Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and dry cleaners depressed? Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company will be debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose. And on a more positive note, perhaps we can hope politicians will be devoted. google search query: dumb jokes /FG/First thread post to when I joined the family.[hide=Insert rant here]blahblahblahLIFE[/hide] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H2PM Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Pardon me, for I am mentally ill, what was the punchline? "Let your anger be as a monkey in a piñata... hiding amongst the candy... hoping the kids don't break through with the stick." - Master Tang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanyTheSailor Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 After Obama decided to send special forces after Osama, his fate was SEALed. (Didn't make this up, but i find it hilarious.) God dammit Seany, STOP SHARING MY MIND" I believe in something greater than myself. A better world. A world without sin. I'm not going to live there. There's no place for me there... I'm a monster.What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H2PM Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 HAHA! SEAL'd! As in Seal! "Let your anger be as a monkey in a piñata... hiding amongst the candy... hoping the kids don't break through with the stick." - Master Tang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanyTheSailor Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 HAHA! SEAL'd! As in Seal!LOL I know rite! Cuz they beat him to death then skinned him! God dammit Seany, STOP SHARING MY MIND" I believe in something greater than myself. A better world. A world without sin. I'm not going to live there. There's no place for me there... I'm a monster.What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tesset Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I really liked zoe's one. My skin is finally getting softI'll scrub until the damn thing comes off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blaah Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Brother: "The speakers are fixed!" Me: "I heard." ... That really happened. /FG/First thread post to when I joined the family.[hide=Insert rant here]blahblahblahLIFE[/hide] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tesset Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I love puns. My skin is finally getting softI'll scrub until the damn thing comes off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H2PM Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Yeah I still don't get it.All I know is some french dudes were walking in the desert and they thirsty so they went to this market that only sold custard with jelly on it. Annnnnnd they kept walking to certain oblivion and died?Right that's the punch line? Never trust Frenchmen to get you water in the desert? "Let your anger be as a monkey in a piñata... hiding amongst the candy... hoping the kids don't break through with the stick." - Master Tang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abc1230 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 They wanted water but the people were only selling trifle YouTube Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tesset Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Yeah I still don't get it.All I know is some french dudes were walking in the desert and they thirsty so they went to this market that only sold custard with jelly on it. Annnnnnd they kept walking to certain oblivion and died?Right that's the punch line? Never trust Frenchmen to get you water in the desert?The two guys are dying of thirst in the middle of a desert. They happen upon a marketplace, but the people selling there, in the middle of a desert have no water, only custard with some stuff on it. They go to quite a few, and strangely, none have any water at all. As the walk off, one of them is like, "Yes, it was a trifle bazaar..." [hide=if you still don't get it]http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bazaarhttp://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bizarrehttp://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ptitle0t9r68ih[/hide] My skin is finally getting softI'll scrub until the damn thing comes off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silver_wits Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Oh, cool. It works now.You will never see an ad again.ads whose links are in your adblocker anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H2PM Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Oooohhh I get it now. What a waste of my time. "Let your anger be as a monkey in a piñata... hiding amongst the candy... hoping the kids don't break through with the stick." - Master Tang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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