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More RL help :(


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#1
Deathmath
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Just another 'what should I do?' thread by me.



I had a lot of surgery, and ended school with all As. Over the summer I had another surgery, so have been on the computer a lot. (Too much, more than I'd like to be honest.) I have a college counselor :/ who wants me to volunteer 40-80 hours a year, and get a job.



So I got a volunteer position and am working on setting up my own low level IT business.



But no matter what happens I can't get out of the house and am subject to constant insults about me not trying, not learning from my mistakes, and getting 2 hour lectures because when told to close windows I forgot to close the one over my parents bathroom. I'd like to get on a better level with them, but all attempts have failed. Before the year has even started they are telling me I am going to do really bad next year and never get into college.



The main issue here is somewhere in the mess of surgeries I lost my summer bookwork. Telling my parents I lost it would send them on a rampage about organization, but not telling them would be difficult to do.



The other issue is trying to get more priviledges. Going to bed at 9:00 at night and not being able to leave the house, plus not being able to text or IM anybody is leaving me socially isolated, if only because I can't talk to any of my friends. Sooo..



How should I try to get on better terms



Setting up a business, ideas?



Make them have realistic views about college.



What to do about the bookwork.



What to do socially.



What is 'outlining a book'? (I got summer work to do that, it was the bit I haven't done yet.



Sorry to whine all over, but I just need some direction as to what I should do. Thanks a lot.



(The summer reading is notes on 90 pages of textbook, and outlining a 140 page book, and 15 questions on philosophy.)
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#2
Saru Inc
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I've personally never really outlined something. But, usually what it means, is to break up chapter(s) into smaller parts, explaining it. Pretty tedious. As with social, where there's a will, there's away. Have you tried emailing? I once did this when I lost my phone, and im is blocked :x I just emailed something, and they recieved it like a split second later, or you can set up a gmail account and use google talk. As for Im'ing, oncer you have your own business (good luck) you should be able to buy a pre paid phone with texts only.



About losing your bookwork. Do this, CONTACT THE TEACHER! When I got my Ap Euro summer assignment, the ink was so faded, (photo copied) I couldn't read it. So I emaled the teacher, it was a bit awkward, as I had never met her before, but it turned out fine. And I was the only kid in class to have the Summer Assignment done. Giving me a 100 on a test grade. Follow your teacher's directions, and if you're able to get the book work back, epic@ But if you're prents find out while you're fixing the problem, simply state you were trying to be responsible and fixing it yourself. They should be happy about that :thumbup:



*warning* may not apply in all cases. (I paid my $150 court ticket online instead of going to court, in my efforts to be responsible, my parents got furious at me.)



And college, that all depends on your parent's predisposition to college. I can't really help you with that, but just remember that hopefully they say what they say because they love you. It may not come out right, but try and follow their adivce. When they say you're going to fail, don't take that as you're worthless, but that they want you to study harder, and not take college as a joke, maybe they did when they were kids.

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#3
l0rd
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Print your post out and leave it in an envelope where you know they'll get it. However hard it may be for you, I think letting them know what you want us to know about the situation is the best thing to do.
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#4
Deathmath
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Thanks guys. And L0rd, you do have a valid point.
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#5
dave0293
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Just another 'what should I do?' thread by me.

[I] have been on the computer a lot. (Too much, more than I'd like to be honest.) I have a college counselor :/ who wants me to volunteer 40-80 hours a year, and get a job.



But no matter what happens I can't get out of the house and am subject to constant insults about me not trying, not learning from my mistakes, and getting 2 hour lectures because when told to close windows I forgot to close the one over my parents bathroom. I'd like to get on a better level with them, but all attempts have failed. Before the year has even started they are telling me I am going to do really bad next year and never get into college.



The other issue is trying to get more priviledges. Going to bed at 9:00 at night and not being able to leave the house, plus not being able to text or IM anybody is leaving me socially isolated, if only because I can't talk to any of my friends. Sooo..



What is 'outlining a book'? (I got summer work to do that, it was the bit I haven't done yet.



Sorry to whine all over, but I just need some direction as to what I should do. Thanks a lot.


First off, I'm sorry I didn't post on your previous thread, as my situation is basically the same as you. The volunteering, straight As, them being overly controlling (I've never owned a console, etc.), the college consultant, texting, I'm sure you know it just as well as I do.



There's two ways you can go about it. It's probably in your best interest to follow Lord's plan, and basically (however you choose) try to confront them, or explain how you feel. I can't be as much a help with you on that, and from my experience it hasn't always turned out that well. The main time I hinted that they were so controlling, they threatened to take away even more things...



So on to what I've done. Spent a lot of time on the internet. The freedom of the internet basically what I've never got to have. Starting around school time last year, I got a lot more homework, some of it real some fictional. And spent some of the time I was in my room doing homework, on the internet. But it turned out that sometimes I would actually stay up later than them. And as soon as they go to bed, you're free to do whatever you want...

Facebook? Get it. IM? Get it. Don't ask, just go right ahead and do it. Stop caring about how they might react, or what they think. Just face the consequences if you get caught. I got to the mindset where there was basically nothing left that they could take away from me.



College, it seems that it's the only thing my parents talk about. So much, that it has turned me off about it. So much, that almost any college seems the same. I don't know how it is for you, but it seems like they've forgotten to almost include me in their discussions. Don't let it get to that. Remind them that you, not the college, is what is most important. And tell them that they're a lot of great colleges out there, and getting into the most prestigious probably won't change your life that much more than getting into one a little bit less prestigious.



As for outlining, that would typically be to briefly summarize the main ideas of each section. Unless you're confusing it with annotating.



I know it's horrible advice. If it gets to the point where you feel like talking to them doesn't do a thing, and you want to get on better relations, you could try Lord's plan or get someone else involved (i.e. a counselor). Or if you're a coward, like me, you could go behind their back and do whatever you want.



Either way, the first step is talking to others and trying to figure out why your parents are the way they are because at least you're attempting to try and work things out. I wish you the best of luck.
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#6
obfuscator
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Print your post out and leave it in an envelope where you know they'll get it. However hard it may be for you, I think letting them know what you want us to know about the situation is the best thing to do.


Yup. Communication really is key. You could write your thoughts down, in a letter specifically addressed to and aimed at them. Parents generally should be happy that their kids can trust them, so trying to help them see your point of view could work wonders.

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#7
Italian5kamikaze
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That's ridiculous, I would just emancipate myself. My mom understood that high school is supposed to be about having fun and if I had to go to bed at 9:00 every night I would freak out on her. Throughout high school I was never really home much, I'm still only 17 but I moved out. Be more assertive and don't let them treat you like that. I don't know your parents but with the few things you've mentioned about them it doesn't sound like the whole writing a letter about how you feel will do much good.



Straight up tell them how you feel and that you're not a little kid anymore. Tell them you want to stay out until 9 or 10 on school nights, stay out on the weekend and be able to talk to your friends when you want. Of course you'll have to negotiate but just tell them that if you're grades start to drop then you lose privileges. Tell them you're looking for a job and volunteer work and doing your best to get into your choice college.



Like I said before, be assertive. Most likely if they think they have you under their control then they'll keep intimidating you so it will stay that way.
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#8
Dexek
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Let your parents know is the best advice. I just wonder, how do you handle all of the restrictions and put downs? :shock:


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