Why Google Isn't the Internet

[vulcant]

First of all, in order to prove my point, I had to get the opinion of an outside source-- namely Ask.com. I went to the object of my query and typed in "ask.com" and surprisingly enough, Google.com supports searches for another competitor. This is a shock to my system since Google has been violently invading the mobile market in a technological brawl with Apple. Why would Google allow competing search sites in their results? Why indeed. However this anomaly in their behavior would have to be left to investigate further, for I was a man on a mission. With the quest in mind, I sought more insight on this particular subject from /b/. After 3 pages of no luck (which ironically coincides with Google's "I'm Feeling Lucky" search option) I found an answer to my prayers.

 

With this magical orb able to tell me the truth, I could finally put down my mouse, shut my computer down and fall into a relieved sleep. This was not to be, however. There is one thing I learned, from Ask.com, and it is that magical billiards balls can not do as much for you on your computer screen as it could in the person. I was downtrodden because, as you can see:

My town's pool store was closed.

 

After a few days of wallowing in despair, I realized that /b/ had all the answers. I returned to my magical ball's thread and noticed the numbers next to the magical orb. The thing I needed was a die. A 10 sided die. These are not so common (practically nonexistent) in board games like Yahtzee, Pictionary, and Risk. Luck, pictures, and world domination apparently have no use for such an oddly conceived dice type. The only game I could possibly think of that would have such a die was one of dragons and of dungeons. That's right, the taboo ritual of Dungeons & Dragons. Getting a set of dice for such a ritual was one step closer to the brink of:

 

As you can hopefully sympathize, I was an impasse here and the dilemma was so great that it nearly tore my being apart. On one hand, I could warn the internet of the impending trap that is Google but fall into the lasting doom of Nerd. On the other hand, I would have failed everyone for my own sense of self-preservation. I decided to sleep on it and see if an answer came to me in the morning.

 

 

It was in REM sleep that I encountered this angel (pictured above). The long story short is that I realized that if you had an account on Runescape, you could do no further harm to yourself than you already had. I bought the dice and rolled 1d10. To see what I rolled and why Google is not the internet,

[bongo_man]

Cool story bro.

[vulcant]

A Weeaboo like you might consider using the following instead:

-Riveting exposition, comrade

-Glorious retelling, friend

-Good tale, chap

[The Observer]

We are being invaded, quick to the bunkers men and save the women and children!

[vulcant]

What kind of sickos are you all? You keep your women and children locked away in bunkers? I am disgust.

[Riku3220]

[Alg]

I honestly can't call this the weirdest thing we have on this board.

[champion]

You're really funny, you should definitely keep making topics like this.

[Faux]

keep crap like this in 4chan

[Pinkbullet3]

You're really funny hilarious, you should definitely keep making topics like this.

 

:thumbup:

[evil_mumm_ra]

yay for /b/ [developmentally delayed]ation. i browse, but that's the extent of 4chan's usefullness, just like the rest of the internet. it's only good for laughing at others/using others for entertainment.

[vulcant]

but this is srs bsns

[Pinkbullet3]

but this is srs bsns

tip.its is issr s bsn and this sis how swe treat srs bsn by shot itn git down!

[vulcant]

but this is serious business

tip.its is issr s bsn and this sis how swe treat srs bsn by shot itn git down!

Can you talk normally please? I can't understand what you just said.

[Abc1230]

How isn't this locked? :P The video at the end was actually pretty epic :thumbup:

[xcowx]

 

[Laura]

 

 

Edited February 16, 2010 by Das
Mwhahahahhaha