Messing with Telemarketers

[zonda]

1.

 

 

 

Me: Hello?

 

 

 

Telemarketer: Is your dad home?

 

 

 

Me: Who's this?

 

 

 

Telemarketer: Is your dad home?

 

 

 

Me: Is this a telemarketer?

 

 

 

Telemarketer: That depends. Is your dad home?

 

 

 

Me: *hangs up*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yea something like this happened to me about a week ago... and the telemarketer was really a butthead about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me- Hello? *pause* hello?!?! *pause* HELLO!!!!

 

 

 

Him- Hello is Mrs... Du.. Dukle there? (He just completly butched our last name, like usual)

 

 

 

Me-Yes she is

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

===

 

 

 

Now, my mother is a very sick lady, so I wasn't sure if this was a telemarketer calling or a doctor calling about test results or government calling about a disability check... so at first I was just going to get her. By the way, this was around 9 at night, and she was already asleep in bed

 

 

 

===

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me-*breif pause* May I ask what your calling about?

 

 

 

Him-Blah Blah Blah Credit Card Blah Blah Blah

 

 

 

Me- I'm sorry, my mothers she's not taking any phone calls

 

 

 

Him- Is any one 18 or older there?

 

 

 

Me- Nope (said this kind of sassy, obviously lying)

 

 

 

Him- Fine, then we will be glad to call back tomorrow! (he perpously said this like a jerkoff)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And sure enough... they next day they called back. Now usually I just tell them to take us off their list, despite the fact that that never works. But let me tell you what, I let them have it, I reemed them out with every word in the book and a few others that havn't made it in there yet... there was so much vulgarity traveling through those lines to the telemarkets receiver I think I put down a couple telephone wires!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guess what? They didn't call back any more :lol: :lol:

[OhFour]

Me: Hello?

 

 

 

TM: Hi do you want to here about our blah blah blah plan?

 

 

 

Me: Sure!!

 

 

 

TM: Blah bla... *hang up*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wonder how long it takes them to notice I'm not there :roll: .

[Boogityboo04]

I got the idea from this thread to go buy an airhorn. If you talk really quietly for a while they turn up the volume in their headsets and at the end of the call blow the airhorn straight into the mouth-piece of your phone. :twisted: it can be quite loud for them

[cadburys_egg]

You can always talk Bork Stylee. As in emphasise on the sounds.

 

 

 

Hello = Heelooo.

 

 

 

Out = Ooooot.

 

 

 

Kinda scotish...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edit: Just remembered you can get Bork Text converter for Firefox :lol:

 

 

 

Here Scroll down to Bork Bork Bork.

 

 

 

Its good to use on forums makes every one look illiterate. :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You see the post above me? This is what it looks like Borked-up:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I gut zee idea frum thees threed tu gu booy un eurhurn. Iff yuoo telk reelly qooeeetly fur a vheele-a zeey toorn up zee fuloome-a in zeeur heedsets und et zee eed ooff zee cell bloo zee eurhurn streeeght intu zee muoot-peeece-a ooff yuoor phune-a. Twisted Evil it cun be-a qooeete-a luood fur zeem

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funny :lol:

[Howie101]

when im done talking to telemarketers i dont hang up....i use the Jack Black soundboard to say "click"...its so funny ....then just wait for them to hang up or laugh or etc.

[zonda]

You can always talk Bork Stylee. As in emphasise on the sounds.

 

 

 

Hello = Heelooo.

 

 

 

Out = Ooooot.

 

 

 

Kinda scotish...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edit: Just remembered you can get Bork Text converter for Firefox :lol:

 

 

 

Here Scroll down to Bork Bork Bork.

 

 

 

Its good to use on forums makes every one look illiterate. :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You see the post above me? This is what it looks like Borked-up:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I gut zee idea frum thees threed tu gu booy un eurhurn. Iff yuoo telk reelly qooeeetly fur a vheele-a zeey toorn up zee fuloome-a in zeeur heedsets und et zee eed ooff zee cell bloo zee eurhurn streeeght intu zee muoot-peeece-a ooff yuoor phune-a. Twisted Evil it cun be-a qooeete-a luood fur zeem

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funny :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yea they have a translater on google for bork bork bork under the language settings. But you can only get it after clicking on a few of the other languages first... its kinda an easter egg the programmers threw in for kicks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think its supposed to be german / austrian, it could be seen as scottish too. All well, its some W.A.S.P. country :wink:

[krenbr]

i alwase have and i alwase will you will get a friend that sounds somthin like you.. stand back to back and this is how it goes..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Telemarketer:is so and so there?

 

 

 

Man One:i dont know let me go get my brother

 

 

 

hands phone to bro

 

 

 

Man two:hello

 

 

 

Telemarketer: would you like to buy such and such product?

 

 

 

Man Two:i dont know let me go get my brother

 

 

 

hands phone

 

 

 

Man One:whats the product

 

 

 

Telemarketer: discribes the product.. so do you want to buy it?

 

 

 

Man One:I Dont know let me go get my brother

 

 

 

hands phone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

whell i think you get the picture.. if you are looking at each other you will laugh.. it is a lot more fun to do it and awaite the telemarketer to hang up

[Howie101]

Its gotta be hard on the other side of it also...i mean ...it's their job. It gets old making the same phone call after a while. Not saying i like em...its fun to poke jokes...but dont give them a hard time.

[Guest GhostRanger]

Its gotta be hard on the other side of it also...i mean ...it's their job. It gets old making the same phone call after a while. Not saying i like em...its fun to poke jokes...but dont give them a hard time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I agree and disagree. I don't want to be mean to people for doing their job...but I can't help but being frustrated when people call trying to sell me web design. What is that about?

[zonda]

i alwase have and i alwase will you will get a friend that sounds somthin like you.. stand back to back and this is how it goes..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Telemarketer:is so and so there?

 

 

 

Man One:i dont know let me go get my brother

 

 

 

hands phone to bro

 

 

 

Man two:hello

 

 

 

Telemarketer: would you like to buy such and such product?

 

 

 

Man Two:i dont know let me go get my brother

 

 

 

hands phone

 

 

 

Man One:whats the product

 

 

 

Telemarketer: discribes the product.. so do you want to buy it?

 

 

 

Man One:I Dont know let me go get my brother

 

 

 

hands phone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

whell i think you get the picture.. if you are looking at each other you will laugh.. it is a lot more fun to do it and awaite the telemarketer to hang up

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This would be even better if man1 and man2 are the same people... lmfao

[Raiden2k2]

I've acted like I was being killed before. I even had one of my knives handy and pulled it out of it's sheath with an exaggeration on the scraping sound and post-unsheathing ring of the blade. The guy sat there going "Sir? Sir, are you okay?"

 

 

 

Eventually I got back on and said "Nah, man, I'm just f***ing with ya." and hung up.

[cadburys_egg]

 

You can always talk Bork Stylee. As in emphasise on the sounds.

 

 

 

Hello = Heelooo.

 

 

 

Out = Ooooot.

 

 

 

Kinda scotish...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edit: Just remembered you can get Bork Text converter for Firefox :lol:

 

 

 

Here Scroll down to Bork Bork Bork.

 

 

 

Its good to use on forums makes every one look illiterate. :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You see the post above me? This is what it looks like Borked-up:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I gut zee idea frum thees threed tu gu booy un eurhurn. Iff yuoo telk reelly qooeeetly fur a vheele-a zeey toorn up zee fuloome-a in zeeur heedsets und et zee eed ooff zee cell bloo zee eurhurn streeeght intu zee muoot-peeece-a ooff yuoor phune-a. Twisted Evil it cun be-a qooeete-a luood fur zeem

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funny :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yea they have a translater on google for bork bork bork under the language settings. But you can only get it after clicking on a few of the other languages first... its kinda an easter egg the programmers threw in for kicks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think its supposed to be german / austrian, it could be seen as scottish too. All well, its some W.A.S.P. country :wink:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Swedish actually :lol:

[Foooman]

I live in Texas so Spanish is a relatively common language. When telemarketers call and ask for "insert-name-here" I tell them to wait a moment. I begin speaking Spanish, which I've been learning in school. When they switch to a Spanish speaker person, I just start speaking some Chinese. Oh the Beauty of knowing three languages.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I also enjoy telling them to wait a moment as i grab the person for whom they are asking. I never give them the person for whom they are looking.

[rocketman089]

It gets really bad at my house. Often we get a telemarketing call (from a machine!) that goes like this: "Hello, we have a very importantant message for you, but unfortunatly all of our representatives are busy at the moment, please wait while one becomes available". So SO annoying.

[clouddyl2]

once i saw jahovas witness ppl walkin down my road so i put on my devil costume and answer the door sayin hi wud u like to selabrate crimbo wiv me and ma peeps and the back slowly away...(the dnt belive in crimbo!!!)

[Rilha]

Tyahahahahah.

 

 

 

My favourite way to deal with telemarketers is to always answer the phone in French, and if it's a telemarketer, keep it up.

 

 

 

Once, they had someone who spoke French, so I switched to Japanese on them. :twisted:

[runesmithie]

once i saw jahovas witness ppl walkin down my road so i put on my devil costume and answer the door sayin hi wud u like to selabrate crimbo wiv me and ma peeps and the back slowly away...(the dnt belive in crimbo!!!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, true story.... I bet :roll: